Date: 18 Apr 87 19:53:24 To: All Subj: This is SATIRE, folks. Now that the courts have dec

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Date: 18 Apr 87 19:53:24 From: Geoff Gilpin To: All Subj: This is SATIRE, folks. Now that the courts have declared that Secular Humanism is a religion, can a Secular Humanist cable TV network be far behind? Here's a page from the TV Guide listings for the Agnostic Broadcasting Company: 8:30 AM THE MORNING TRUTH: News Politically correct reporters offer biased interpretations of the day's events. 9:00 AM SOLIDARITY STREET: Children Susan teaches the girls to hate males. Ralph and Eduardo discover how multiplication can help them boycott non-union products. 10:00 AM SKEPTI-CISE: Aerobics Take off pounds with leading Free Thinkers. 10:30 AM A WORLD OF NOTHING: Soap Opera Julie and Steve argue. Biff confronts Walt. Maggie turns to drugs. Dick discovers he is pregnant. 11:00 AM WHEEL OF EVOLUTION: Game 11:30 AM THE 666 CLUB: Religion Host Aleister Crowley is joined by guests Madeline Murray O'Hair, Ozzy Osborne, and Adam Weishaupt in a special taped segment. Topics include banning the Bible and overthrowing traditional family values. 12:30 PM THE SECULAR MOUSE SHOW: Cartoon Secular Mouse battles Dogma Dog on the Planet of the Jesuits. 1:00 PM PHIL DONAHUE: Talk Phil's guests are members of the Boston Chapter of Americans United Against the Fifth Commandment, who discuss the rewards of parent hatred. 2:00 PM AFTERNOON MOVIE: Movie Scheduled: Debbie Does Dallas. 4:00 PM MARIJUANA HORTICULTURE: Home Improvement Gardening tips for budget-minded hemp users. Chef Ramone makes hashish brownies. 4:30 PM PLEDGE BREAK: Money 6:00 PM THE ABC EVENING NEWS: News At press time, reporter Sam Donaldson was scheduled to insult an authority figure. 6:30 PM M*A*S*H: Pacifist Comedy When a war-loving General visits the 4077th, Hawkeye and the gang use practical jokes to make him doubt his manhood. 7:00 PM PORNOGRAPHY: Sex Bodily orifices are explored. 8:00 PM OUR SOVIET HERITAGE: Documentary Join host Jane Fonda in her musical tribute to Leon Trotsky. Guests: The Bolshoi Ballet, the Surplus Value Chorus. 10:00 PM THE NEUTRAL GENDER SHOW: Comedy Anti-family comedians do hilarious spoofs of Bill Cosby and Michael Landon. Midnite SERMONETTE: Superstition Un-Denominational Prayer and Benediction. --- * Origin: APPLEGATE - Appleton, Wi. (414) 738-1219 (Opus 139/630)

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