CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CTHULHU +quot;The obscene idol grotesquely squats on top of a rough hew

Master Index Current Directory Index Go to SkepticTank Go to Human Rights activist Keith Henson Go to Scientology cult

Skeptic Tank!

CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CTHULHU "The obscene idol grotesquely squats on top of a rough hewn granite pillar. The fire around it crackles and roars high. We are joyously dancing around it all; hands linked, half naked, we are whole, laughing with joy and desire. "The best is yet to come...." Bored by an ordinary, nothing life? Searching for excitement, power? Seeking a higher cause, one worthy of your very life? The Campus Crusade for Cthulhu offers all this, AND MORE! How does Tall, Green, and Slimey sound to you? Pretty scarey. But you can handle it. You will have to learn how to. You will learn to yearn for the soft squeezing caress of undulating tentacles. Or you will be eternally sorry that you did not. Think that you are searching for meaning still? Well, search no more! We have found you. Soon, when you expect it least, our agents will contact you. Soon you will not have to worry about anything. Ever. Again. We know more about you than you can ever learn about us. And who are we? We are both the oldest and the newest college organization in existence. We are sponsored by the ancient Cthulhu Cult, which predates all history. Before the United States of America, before ancient Greece, before Atlantis. Before the first Illuminati attempts at wrold conquest our tentacles had an unbreakable grip upon the entire Earth. We have never let go. Ever since we were pre-men, the Cthulhu Cult has served the Great Old Ones, the unspeakable horrors of legend. It is they who lived eons before they brought life upon this Earth. They came from distant unknown space, falling out of the sky upon our virgin Earth. Through covert means, their lurking shapes held sway over our young planet, guiding the course of to serve their own needs. They destroyed the dinosaurs when they were done with them, and so made way for the first men. The Old Ones died three million years past, gone into the Earth, under the sea. Dead they were, yet undead, their dreaming still bodies reached out, and so molded the minds of our distant ancestors. The greatest of their High Priests, whom we know as Cthulhu, lay deep within his sunken R'lyeh Temple and guided all of history through the Cult. Ever we have prepared the world for the day they shall return. Then the world shall fall under the clinging grip of the Great Old Ones reborn. And only those who serve them in this life shall survive. For a time. That is why we worship Cthulhu, why you cannot afford not to. Ever we await his return from his tomb at R'lyeh. For we know that the words ever hold true, That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange eons even death may die. The history of our club is a strange and wonderous one; early on in this century the ever growing Cthulhu Cult founded the Campus Crusade at Miskatonic University, the hallowed center of learning located among the misty hills of Arkham, MA. Our first moves were carefully planned: information tables in the University Union, arcane bake sales, ceremonies in the remote regions of campus, and the like. After a year we had become a campus fixture. THIS POWER CAN BE YOURS! The next year we reached out for other campuses. Yale, New York University, SUNY-Binghamton, they were but a few. Now we have over 666 schools in our rule. And that is only counting the United States! IMAGINE WHAT OUR SUPPORT CAN DO FOR YOU! Remember the uprisings of the sixties, REMEMBER Kent State? They were small experiments on our part, to demonstrate our power. AS CAN YOU, IF YOU SWEAR ETERNAL LOYALTY TO US! By the end of the second year we had posession of the entire University! Classes were cancelled so that all could take part in our ceremonies and ritual Virgins of both sexes begged to be sacrificed on our behalf. Our political control of Arkham was absolute. SINCE THEN WE HAVE GROWN IN POWER A THOUSANDFOLD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD NOT TO BECOME ONE WITH US! Remember, we have been watching you for a very long time. We will continue to do so for the rest of your life. However long that shall be is up to you. So, join the fastest growing conspiracy on the planet! Be ready for the time of the re-awakening. REVEL IN THE WONDERS OF THE UNDEAD GOD WHYLE YOU STILL CAN. ________________________________________ UNIQUE BENEFTS OF MEMBERSHIP: *˙˙Intimate contact with those of like interests. *˙˙Eternal companionship in this life and the next. *˙˙The safety of numbers. *˙˙Spiritual support in case of legal prosecution. *˙˙Enhanced lifespan: chances of surviving the return of the Great Old Ones double when you are with us. *˙˙POWER -- Come the New Time, you will be given absolute control over the city of your choice, if all turns out as planned. The festering remnants of humanity will be yours to do with what you wish. *˙˙Never again shall you be bored! *˙˙Never again shall you be cold! *˙˙AND you get your very own membership card, which entitles you to a ten percent discount on all items stocked at our numerous occult shops! ________________________________________ UNIQUE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT JOINING: *˙˙Greatly reduced life expectancy. *˙˙Justified paranoia. *˙˙Constant fear. *˙˙Great chance of become a Cthulhu breakfast snack. *˙˙A death guaranteed not to be quick and painless. Woudln't you really rather be one of us? ________________________________________ For your own safety... Write for more information: CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CTHULHU Box 544 SUNY-Binghamton Binghamton, New York 19301


E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank