COMMUNICATION SKILLS +quot;GAMES+quot; The following is a series of +quot;games+quot; whic

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COMMUNICATION SKILLS "GAMES" The following is a series of "games" which have been found quite useful in helping "a bunch of interested people" learn to communicate! with each other, taking them one further step towards forming the "group mind" necessary to work together as a coven in circle. Monitor's Notes: There are a few brief rules which must be observed in order to make these games more productive for the participants. These are: 1. NOTHING which is said during the games may be discussed outside the games without the consent of ALL parties involved in the subject. This is enforced by personal honour only, but must be stressed at the onset of the series. 2. Everyone's attention should be on the two people involved in the conversation. No off-side comments or conversation will be tolerated. 3. Each step of the series MUST be accomplished in the exact sequence necessary. Example: Person 1 - "Tell me something you like about me." Person 2 - "I like the clothes you choose." Person 1 - "Thank you." It is the Monitor's main task to see that each step is performed before going on to the next. The first step is Person 1's opening statement or question. Step two is Person 2's response. Step three, Person 1's acknowledgment. In the sequences with Person 1 asking (or stating) two communications, the steps are as follows: Person 1 opens with "Is there" or "There is", Person 2 respond with "yes" or "no". If "no", then Person 1 acknowledges, and moves to the next person. If "yes", then Person 1 opens, Person 2 responds with "yes", Person 2 continues with statement or question asked for, then Person 1 acknowledges (or answers, whereupon Person 2 acknowledges). Without going into gory detail, the steps are similar in the games where Person 1 opens with "There is something I would like to tell/ask you." Person 2 responding with "Would you like to ask me now?", etc. 4. The word WHY, either as question or as statement is NOT ALLOWED! There are too many defense mechanisms built-in to this word for productive answers to be given or understood. 5. For any answer requested in the first five games, the answer-er has three options...They may tell the truth, they may lie, or they may refuse to answer. All must be accepted. In HOT SEAT only, are there only two options...In answering the questions you may lie or you may tell the truth, but you may not refuse to answer. 6. Last, and most important...JUSTIFICATION OF REASONING OR ACTIONS IS DISALLOWED! This is the most judgmental ruling on the part of the Monitor. It is up to the Monitor alone to determine whether and answer is a statement of fact, or a defensive maneuver. This is the hardest part, so be alert. Finally, when in the course of the circular nature of things the Monitor comes due for a turn, Monitor-ship should be turned over to any other member of the group, and may change from turn to turn, depending on who is participating and who is Monitor. This can be accomplished with a simple "Stop", and something akin to the following: "Joe Schwartz, I designate you Monitor for the duration of my turn." With Joe S. returning Monitor-ship in a like manner when the turn is ended. The Games are illustrated here in more detailed "script-form" so that you may understand the course of events in each. All should be seated in a circle so that while one person is talking all the others will be able to see the speaker, as well as all being able to see the Monitor. Anyone wishing to get the Monitor's attention may raise a hand, or say "Excuse me", but "Stop" is reserved as the Monitor's code-word. Note: It is acceptable, on the Monitor's decision, to clarify an answer if the person receiving the answer does not understand, in any of the games. GAME 1 - FLATTERY: P1: "Tell me something you like about me." P2: "I like your hairstyle" P1: "Thank you. Tell me something you don't like about me." P2: "I don't like your use of the word "socie-cal"". P1: "O.K. Tell me something you like about me." P2: "I like the way you have with animals." P1: "Thank you." GAME 2: Option 1: P1: "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have not previously told me?" P2: "Yes." P1: "Would you like to tell me now?" P2: "Yes, I always feel left out when you do xxx thing." P1: "Thank you." Option 2: P1: "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have not previously told me?" P2: "Yes." P1: "Would you like to tell me now?" P2: "No." P1: "Thank you." Option 3: P1: "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have not previously told me?" P2: "No." P1: "O.K." GAME 3: P1: "Is there something you would like to ask me which you have not previously asked me?" P2: "Yes." P1: "Would you like to ask me now?" P2: "Yes. How is it that when someone rings the doorbell, the first word you say is "damn"?" P1: "I don't know. Wait, yes I do know...the doorbell always disturbs my concentration on what I'm doing at the time." P2: "Thank you." As with the previous game, Options 2 and 3 apply also. GAME 4: P1: "There is something I would like to tell you that I have not previously told you." (Note: Make something up, if necessary) P2: "Would you like to tell me now?" P1: "Yes. It concerns me that you don't seem to be getting enough sleep." P2: "All right." Options 2 and 3... GAME 5: P1: "There is something I would like to ask you that I have not previously asked you." P2: "Would you like to ask me now?" P1: "Yes. Where do you go when you get angry and storm out of the apartment?" P2: "I go for a walk in the park." (Monitor's out for "I go for a walk in order to/because/so I can...these are justifications) P1: "Thank you." Options 2 and 3... GAME 6 - HOT SEAT (ORACLE): One chair in the room is designated the "Hot seat". One at a time, each participant sits in this chair and in rotation, each of the other people ask them one question, to which there MUST BE A REPLY. Remember, you can tell the truth or you can lie. These are the "Comm. Games" as they are at this point. Names could be assigned to the intermediate four, and some temporary rules may be agreed upon at the start of each game, with the consent of ALL PARTIES. We suggest that these games be played through from the first to the last with only short breaks between them, in order to maximize the effect. Playing them one at a time in consecutive class sessions, or on separate days, seems to lessen their effectiveness. One class session or gathering should be scheduled following the series to discuss the feelings of the "Players". ENJOY!!!! ........Kyri Comyn, Hernesgaard


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