Subject: Twas the Night Before Something Date: Thu, 23 DEC 93 12:22:50 EST I beg your fore

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From: Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban Subject: Twas the Night Before Something Date: Thu, 23 DEC 93 12:22:50 EST I beg your forebearance, gentle souls, for what follows, in that I know it full well to be: a) trite, b) metrically challenged, c) rhymatically deficient, d) neither parallel to nor as long as the original. Nonetheless I offer it in the spirit of the season. --- Twas the night before Christmas throughout AFU, not an old hat was posting, and lurkers were few. The legends were hung on the newsfeed with care in hopes that the FAQ angel soon would be there. The newbies who snuggled all clutching their mice, thought Email from Kibo would surely be nice. While I in my condom and Ma in her teddy had just settled down for a romp on the beddie. When out of the Sparc there arose such a clatter, I abandoned my S O to admin the matter. I opened a shell tool and typed in some pings. I started a daemon and other such things. In the light of the raster, a flickering glow, X windows fell open like new flakes of snow. Then what I beheld made me call to my wife. There were dozens of FAQ entries coming to life! There was Shergold and Blue Star, the hook hand, the slasher. Pull tabs and kidneys, a gang headlight flasher. There was Coke in a douche bag, a Mexican pet. A vanished hitch hiker, the scariest yet! There were legends and rumours and stories galore. And when they came at me I ran for the door. But none of them hurt me, they made me their friend. They wanted to tell me this wasn't the end. They'd be there forever, and never complain. If only we'd post them again and again. I said I would do so. My word had they earned. So back to the news group they slowly returned. And I saw them broadcast, As they logged off the net, Have a wonderful season! The best you can get! t "have a nice holiday" c -- ( )_( ) "DWI on the Information Superhighway" \. ./ _=.=_ "


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