Date: Fri Oct 14 1994 00:00:26 To: All Subj: King in Alien Territory UFO - Larry King In A

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Date: Fri Oct 14 1994 00:00:26 From: Sheppard Gordon To: All Subj: King in Alien Territory UFO ------------------------------- Larry King In Alien Territory 09/30/94 THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE Larry King, America's most feared investigative broadcaster ("Uh, what's your name again?") is about to bust the government's chops and get to the bottom of this UFO thing. King is going live, in person, to the town of Rachel, Nev., tomorrow so he can be only miles from an ultrasecret government base, where dead little green men may be stacked like logs. The two-hour show -- nay, exclusive, shocking expose -- is called "The UFO Cover-Up? -- Live from Area 51." It'll be on the TNT cable channel at 5 p.m. tomorrow. Area 51 is one of those fenced-in government enclosures that seem to occupy most of the Nevada and New Mexico land mass, dusty places with signs that warn you to stay out or be shot and then chewed to pieces by a large dog named Hans. Usually we suspect nuclear weapons testing, or nerve gas experiments. Or maybe secret genetic research to mass-produce spontaneously combusting Rush Limbaugh replicants, proving at last that Limbaugh is merely a gaseous bag of noxious vapors. But according to official unembargoed press material issued by informed TNT spokespeople, an exhaustive investigation by Larry King's task force has determined that "some say" Area 51 is a top-secret test facility for UFO exploration. GETTING IT RIGHT Some say Elvis smashed his nose again on the plastic sneeze guard at the Sizzler in San Bruno last Monday night. But OK, some people get some things right, sometimes. For all I know, the government has rigged Area 51 with pulsing neon arrows pointing to a mile-wide alien landing spot marked with a huge "X," and a garish hotel-casino complex with immense block letters on the roof -- ALIEN WELCOME CENTER. And in smaller block letters, Come On Down! Earth's Loosest Slots and Most Liberal Blackjack! Prime Rib Dinners $5.95! Now Appearing in the Space Lounge, Larry King! AMASSED EXPERTS But among the experts TNT amassed for King's live special is William Shatner, who's maybe been beamed up a few too many times. And TNT is promising "a rare and exclusive interview" with former Arizona Senator Barry Goldwater. Rare and exclusive? You could probably call Barry Goldwater right now and talk with him for hours. It strikes me that if tomorrow's special is, as advertised, "television's most respectable look ever at the UFO story," the Turner Broadcasting System should be putting it on CNN, not TNT. A quibble. Also, that if anyone wants to investigate unidentified (or at least unexplained) flying objects, a good place to start would be Larry King himself. Why is this man famous? For dating Angie Dickinson? For dating Ross Perot? Surely not for his weighty USA Today newspaper column. Could Larry be, as some say, a visitor from the fire planet Nebulous, at the center of the Fatuous galaxy? Do his suspenders camouflage a mysterious Gills of Death breathing apparatus? And, just maybe, could his live appearance at Area 51 be a clever ruse? Larry gives the signal on live TV, and armed hordes of his fellow Nebulousans launch their invasion of Earth. Before it's too late, someone should call William Shatner for an expert opinion.


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