There Ain't No Justice Number 006

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Skeptic Tank!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* TTTTTTTTTT AAAAAA NNNN N J *-* *-* T A A N N N J *-* *-* T AAAAAAAAAA N N N J *-* *-* T A A N N N J J *-* *-* T A A N NNNN JJJJJ *-* *-* *-* *-* There Ain't No Justice *-* *-* #06 *-* *-* *-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. 908/830-8265 *-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* -On the Origins of Derf- Derf. To some, the name inspires wonder. To others, it inspires derision. Who is this wonderous being, to whom subs and yea, even whole BBS's have been devoted? The humble beginnings can be traced to a small Commodre BBS whose name escapes me. But in any case, the story of Derf began there. One fine April day, Midnite (then Midnite Raider) came over to my place for our traditional Sunday AD&D fest. During a break, he called this BBS to show me something. It was in part the E-Mail he had received, and part the phenomenon which was growing. It concerned a new user calling herself Angel Baby, and her ex-boyfriend, Kaos Kidd. Kaos Kidd was, well, different. Barely literate, he nevertheless threw himself headfirst into the BBS world. And so did Angel Baby. The banter between them captured the imaginations of many... females have always been rare enough in the electron jungle, and this one was a hoot. She was neither a teenybopper nor an old maid, she was (fascinatingly enough for me) the same age as I. Being without a female of my own at the time, I was to say the least, intrigued. But this is Derf's story. Over the course of time, Derf entered the "Circle" of my friends. We came to know and almost like him... he had a desperate need to be liked. We indulged him in his wild ideas, and he us in ours. it was a fine time. I sold him a spare 1200 baud modem, just so he and Angel Baby could call my BBS (all he had was a 300 bauder, and even in 1989, I locked out the exceptionally slow). There was a friendly rivalry between myself and several other "adult" users for the affections of Kaos Kidd's exgirlfriend, and I, like the others, was encouraged to "take her away, if we could". Well, a few months went by, and something occurred that came to be called "Fred Meeting One". (Kaos Kidd's first name was Fred, you see). A small group of us congregated at KK's house to trade software, swap stories, and watch Midnite hack at his first Unix account. But sometime after this meeting, the friendships began to falter. While planning Fred meeting Two, KK decided that he no longer wished to be known as Fred, something which he had long used interchangably with his handle. So, the appelation of Derf was coined. It is important to mention that it was also about this time that people began to suspect that the woman KK had all along introduced as his sister Vicki was, in fact, Angel Baby. Angel Baby had described herself as being a brunette, with measurements sure to incite any adolescent (or post-adolescent) male to quite interesting thoughts. "Vicki", on the other hand, was a bit on the large size, and did not resemble at all the picture that she (Angel) had sent Midnite, which he shared for the viewing pleasure of his friends. I was actually the first person to discover the WHOLE truth. Angel Baby was NOT KK's ex-girlfriend. She was his WIFE... and she was "Vicki". By this time, I had been telephoning her for several months, and was quite fond of the person, behind the voice... the relationship which developed after that is not for THIS particular textfile... In any case, KK's relationships continued to downslide. By the time of the actual "Fred Meeting Two" (now more popularly called a Derf Meeting) there was open hostility on many sides. KK's outlandish claims grew more and more grandiose, culminating in its ultimate folly, the contraption known as DerfLink. DerfLink had its roots in a Commodre peripherial device known as RamLink, by Creative Micro Designs. RamLink sought to expand the Commodre RAM limits from 512k to over 4 megs. Derf (as we all called him by now) was certain that he could improve on this device, and upon another CMD device (their series of Commodore compatable HardDrives) by using his "vast" electronical knowlege to allow one to connect ANY sort of hard drive to a Commodore by interfacing them via a Tandy controller. Needless to say, the vast majority of people who heard the original claims for "DerfLink" were highly amused. But Derf was adamant, and claimed he could do it. He was invited to try. Its been three years. No DerfLink yet. But the IDEA of DerfLink has continued to grow. DerfLink has often been cited for marvelous applications: one could interface a cow and a stove via DerfLink, and have steaks cooked to order by your computer. Several of us have threatened over the years to build our OWN DerfLink, complete with flashing lights, a multitude of wires dangling everywhere, and various household appliances sticking out at odd angles. I think Midnite said it like this: ------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think Chris/Liquid Jesus, Tal, and I deserve the credit for the spread of Derfism. It never would have gone very far beyond a personal joke if the almighty (!?) Derf himself didn't make such a big deal about it. He regarded it as the most horrendous personal offense possible, so essentially he added flame to his own cremation fire. The usage of Derf, however, isn't solely a local phenomenon. On a BBS in Blacksburg, VA, there is a sub devoted entired to Derfism, with basically the same feelings about Derf as we have. Except, for them Derf is a single 'entity' (whereas here we often refer to a group of Derfs, or multiple individual Derlike persons [still recognizing the true father of Derfism however]). (The sub is called: Pertaining to ////, \\\\, the anti-////, or anti-\\\\. The slashes are literal, as they never use the sacred word save for explaining to newcomers their meaning.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Derf is everywhere. Thanks to the miracle of QSD, people from all over the world have been accused of being Derf by myself and others. During the early days of the Gulf War, the Ghost, Cool One, and myself tormented some poor, pro-Saddam Palestinian kid with cries of "Thou Art Derf!" for over four hours. I have seen Derf being referred to on boards in Kansas, Germany, Japan, and Switzerland. I've even heard the occasional non-computer-person use Derf to refer to someone. For those of you wishing to learn even MORE about Derf, his wife Angel Baby continues to run a BBS to this day. (July, 1992) Give it a call and commune with the almighty Derf in person! Derf is usually there in the evenings, and more than willing to chat about his life and the future of DerfLink to anyone who is willing to listen. Call Angel's lair at 908-269-7823 This concludes this mostly pointless issue of TANJ. I can be contacted anywhere, really! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. TANSTAAFL BBS:908/830-TANJ *-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-* Modern Textfiles Inc. The Matrix BBS:908/905-6691 *-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-* The Lawless Society Inc. The Syndicate BBS:908/506-6651 *-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


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