The Vibrant Intensity Corporation in conjunction with the International Society for Krishn

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The Vibrant Intensity Corporation in conjunction with the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON) Proudly presents: Curious George Does LSD a childrens' novel by Fr. Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy, RN, TCO, KSC ------------------------------------------------------------ (K) No rights observed. Distribute freely ------------------------------------------------------------ Hail Eris - Kallisti - All Hail Discordia -------------------------------DS--------------------------- 1 Curious George was a smart monkey who did a lot of fun things. He lived in a big house with his friend, the man in the yellow hat. 2 One morning, the man in the yellow hat gave Curious George a small white piece of paper. He told Curious George to put the paper on his tongue but not to swallow it. George put the small white piece of paper on his tongue, sat down and watched T.V. 3 Twenty minutes later, George began feeling very strange. As he watched the "Immature Radioactive Reptiles" on T.V. he saw them begin to melt into strange and different forms. 4 The man in the yellow hat sat down next to Curious George and handed him a banana. But, to Curious George, it had eyes, ears, a nose, and a mouth and was singing "Eat me! Eat me!" 5 Curious George then tried to peel the banana, but the banana started yelling "Don't peel me! Don't peel me!" Curious George handed the banana back to his friend. 6 The man in the yellow hat peeled the banana and gave it to George. He said "George, you can eat the banana now." But all George heard was "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." 7 Very soon, Curious George got bored with T.V. So he decided to go exploring. His friend followed him. 8 Curious George went down the street to what his friend called a head shop. There were a lot of neat toys to play with. 9 George tried the lava lamps, the black light, the strobe light and many other toys. Suddenly, George found a glow string! He went into a dark corner, and played with it, fascinated. 10 The shopkeeper said to George's friend, "You've dosed your monkey, haven't you?" His friend just smiled. 11 Soon it was time to leave. The man in the yellow hat paid for the glow string, picked up George and they went home. 12 As soon as they got home, George put some Grateful Dead on the C.D. player, lit up a joint, and mellowed out. Soon, he fell asleep. 13 The next morning, George woke up and everything was normal again -- 14 or was it? (finis) ____________________________________________________________ The Vibrant Intensity Corporation in conjunction with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) Proudly presents: Curious George Goes To Jail a childrens' novel by Fr. Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy, RN, TCO, KSC ------------------------------------------------------------ (K) No rights observed. Distribute freely ------------------------------------------------------------ Hail Eris - Kallisti - All Hail Discordia -------------------------------DS--------------------------- 1 Curious George was a happy monkey who had a social conscious. One day, George was looking through the man in the yellow hat's garage when he discovered several cans of black spray paint. 2 Curious George was an inquisitive monkey, so he shook the paint can and pressed the button. A spot of black paint appeared on the wall. 3 George was delighted. He felt that he could use the paint to alert humans of the inherent dangers extant in their society. He thought that he could use the paint as an advertising medium. 4 The man in the yellow hat wasn't home, so George decided to take a walk. He grabbed a paint can and went downtown to look for an appropriate spot to place his message. 5 Curious George found a large wall downtown. In large, block letters he carefully printed: GEORGE BUSH SUCKS 6 As George was pondering what to write next, a huge man wearing a blue uniform eating a doughnut and drinking a cup of coffee approached him with an angry look on his face. 7 George's heart skipped a beat as he realized who the man was. He was a policeman. And, worse yet, probably a Republican policeman. 8 The policeman loomed over him and George felt a surge of fear. Angrily, the policeman threw his cup of coffee and doughnut away. He glared at George, his eyes filled with hate. 9 George was so scared, he was frozen in place. The policeman screamed "You long-haired, pinko, communist punk!" How dare you deface our city and insult our president? Since monkeys can't talk, George didn't answer. 10 The policeman handcuffed Curious George and put him in the back of the patrol car. They zoomed off to the jail. 11 Passerbys gave the police car curious glances as they passed by. After all, it isn't every day that you see a handcuffed monkey sitting in the back of a patrol car. 12 When they arrived at the police station, the policeman picked George up by the scruff of his neck and hauled him inside. The desk sergeant looked at the policeman wonderingly as asked "What the hell do you think this place is? A zoo?" 13 The policeman replied "I caught this punk spraying obscenities on a wall downtown, sarge." The desk sergeant shook his head. "Smith, maybe you need to take a nice long vacation. You're trying to book a monkey." 14 "But, sarge", the patrolman said, "he spray painted 'George Bush Sucks' on the wall of the telephone company." George saw the desk sergeant turn red. George looked up and saw a life-sized picture of George Bush playing horseshoes above the sergeant's desk. The autograph read "Love and kisses, George Bush." 15 It looked like the desk sergeant was going to explode. He screamed "Book him!" and apologized to the president's picture for the insult. 16 Curious George was led into a room with a camera. His picture was taken several times, and then he was fingerprinted. He was given a blue shirt and pants to wear and was led to a cage that contained, not monkeys, but humans. 17 The humans in the cage stared at Curious George. One human asked the other "You ever done a monkey before?" George wasn't sure what they meant, but he was certain it wasn't nice. 18 An eternity passed. Then, out of the corner of his eye, George saw his friend with the yellow hat, Happily, George screamed for joy. 19 "Boy, George," his friend said "you sure got yourself in trouble this time. But don't worry. I'm here to take you home." He picked George up, and they left." 20 The man in the yellow hat called the press and told them all about Curious George's illegal incarceration in jail. Headlines of newspapers across the country hailed George's courageousness. People were calling George "the catalyst of reform in the 1990's." But all George wanted was a banana. 21 Eventually, the policeman who arrested George and the desk sergeant were fired and placed in nice padded cells with crayons to write with. And they lived happily ever after. (The End) ____________________________________________________________ | | ___\___/___ / \ | | The Vibrant Intensity Conspiracy and Religion in conjunction with The Southern Baptists Convention proudly presents: Curious George Goes To Hell By: Fr. Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy, RN, KSC, TCO (ODD# 666.23/5) ------------------------------------------------------------ Hail Eris Kallisti All Hail Discordja ------------------------------------------------------------ 1 One Sunday morning, the man in the yellow hat woke up Curious George and said "Guess what George? We're going to church!" He helped George into a suit, a tie, and some dress shoes. They ate breakfast and then they drove to the church. 2 The church was a big building with many stained glass windows. All around George were many people wearing nice clothing. They were standing up and singing "What a friend we have in Jesus." George wanted to sing with them, but since he couldn't talk, he couldn't sing either. 3 A man wearing a white suit was on the podium talking. He said "There is no path to heaven but through Jesus Christ." George didn't believe that, since his father had taught him that the only path to heaven was through the great god Big Juju. 4 George looked over at his friend in the yellow hat. He was fast asleep. George was hungry and wanted something to eat. He began looking around for food. 5 Soon, George discovered a woman wearing a hat with fruit on top of it. He went to where she was sitting and plucked a banana. 6 George tried to peel the banana but it wouldn't budge. He stuck the banana in his mouth, bit down, and discovered it was made of plastic. Disgusted, George hurled the fake banana at one of the stained glass windows, shattering it. 7 All eyes turned to George. From the podium, the man in the white suit yelled at Curious George. He screamed "You are an evil monkey! Evil monkeys will burn in Hell for all eternity!" Hurriedly, the man in the yellow hat picked up Curious George and they left. 8 As the man in the yellow hat was driving them home, a big truck pulled out in front of them. The man in the yellow hat slammed on the brakes, but they hit the back of the truck. George passed out. 9 When George came to, he was standing in the midst of flames. He tried to run, but a huge man dressed in red with horns and a pitchfork picked him up by the scruff of his neck and took him to a huge palace made of red hot iron, surrounded by flaming bushes. 10 The man brought him to a throne room where a man wearing red with horns sat upon the throne. The man carrying George threw him down and said "Master, I have brought the evil monkey who desecrates churches." He then bowed and left. 11 The man on the throne said to George in monkey language "Now I have you for all of eternity!" George replied in monkey language "Where am I? Who are you?" The man on the throne replied "I am Satan, and you are in Hell." 12 Satan told Curious George that since he had broken the stained glass window he would have to spend eternity watching re-runs of Jim and Tammy Bakker. George screamed "No! No! No! No! No!" as demons dragged him away. 13 The next thing George remembered, he was lying in a hospital bed. His friend in the yellow hat was asking him anxiously "George? Are you okay?" Since George couldn't speak, he didn't answer. 14 A doctor was saying, "It looks like he had a mild concussion. He'll be fine." George heard that and thought "Thank Big Juju. It was only a dream." He hugged the man in the yellow hat and swore to Big Juju never to go to church again. ?he, dnE ehT ____________________________________________________________ | | ___\___/___ / \ | | The Vibrant Intensity Conspiracy and Religion in conjunction with The Moral Majority proudly presents: Curious George Gets Nookie (ODD# 69*23&5) a children's novel Written by: Fr. Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy, RN, KSC ------------------------------------------------------------ Hail Eris Kallisti All Hail Discordja ------------------------------------------------------------ 1 Curious George was a friendly monkey, but he was very lonely. He had his friend in the yellow hat, but like all other animals, he still felt that primal urge for a mate. 2 Curious George realized he could not control his instinctive sexual urges, and he did not want to resort to spanking the human. He realized, sooner or later, he would have to find his own Curious Georgette. 3 One day, Curious George ciould stand it no longer. He went over to the man in the yellow hat and made a gesture of pointing his left index finger through a ring formed by his right thumb and index finger. 4 "Oh!" exclaimed the man in the yellow hat. "You're hungry!" George violently shook his head and made the form of a triangle with both hands and stuck his tongue in the middle of it. "Do you want a salt lick?" asked his friend. 5 Curious George then made the motion of thrusting his pelvic area back and forth. "Aha!" exclaimed the man in the yellow hat, "You want some female companionship." Happily, George nodded his head in agreement. 6 The man in the yellow hat placed an ad in the personals section of the local newspaper. The ad read: Domesticated male chimpanzee looking for love. Enjoys watching cartoons, listening to the Grateful Dead, and walks on a moonlit beach. Primates only need reply. Call 555-6969 Eves. 7 Soon after the ad came out, the man in the yellow hat got a telephone call from a lady who had a female monkey that was just as lonely as George. The man in the yellow hat set up an appointment for them to get together. 8 The female'sname was not Georgette but Georgina. George didn't mind, since he preferred Italians anyway. The pair hit it off just fine. Soon it came to pass that they were to be married. 9 The zoo keeper from the zoo that George came from officiated at the ceremony and George's parents came all the way from Africa, where they were spending their retirement. Reporters came from far and wide for the wedding of Curious George: connoisseur of bananas, philosopher extrordinaire, and all around nice guy. 10 The wedding cake was magnificent. Banana cake with banana icing, topped with sliced bananas. Guest were served banana punch and banana daiquiris. 11 Soon it was time for George and his new bride to depart. A limousine picked them up and whisked them away to the honeymoon suite at a beautiful hotel. 12 By this time, George was so horny he couldn't stand it. He tore off his brides' dress and laid her on the bed. ---------------------------WARNING------------------------- THIS STORY IS IN VIOLATION OF THE STATE OF FLORIDA LAWS CONCERNING PORNOGRAPHY, AND IS HEREBY SUBJECT TO BEING CENSORED AS IT IS UNFIT TO BE A CHILDREN'S STORY. ---------------------------WARNING------------------------- 14 And they lived happily ever after. T h e E n d These files have been uploaded to London BBS (407) 859-2243 as a public service of the Vibrant Intensity Corporation. Not affiliated with the U.S. government or any other fascist organization. We hope you have enjoyed these stories. Stay tuned for more great kids stories to come from VICAR (those fucked up Discordian people). Hail Eris and five tons of hemp, Fr. Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy, RN, KSC, TCO


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