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| | ___\___/___ / \ | | The Vibrant Intensity Conspiracy and Religion in conjunction with The Southern Baptists Convention proudly presents: Curious George Goes To Hell By: Fr. Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy, RN, KSC, TCO (ODD# 666.23/5) ------------------------------------------------------------ Hail Eris Kallisti All Hail Discordja ------------------------------------------------------------ 1 One Sunday morning, the man in the yellow hat woke up Curious George and said "Guess what George? We're going to church!" He helped George into a suit, a tie, and some dress shoes. They ate breakfast and then they drove to the church. 2 The church was a big building with many stained glass windows. All around George were many people wearing nice clothing. They were standing up and singing "What a friend we have in Jesus." George wanted to sing with them, but since he couldn't talk, he couldn't sing either. 3 A man wearing a white suit was on the podium talking. He said "There is no path to heaven but through Jesus Christ." George didn't believe that, since his father had taught him that the only path to heaven was through the great god Big Juju. 4 George looked over at his friend in the yellow hat. He was fast asleep. George was hungry and wanted something to eat. He began looking around for food. 5 Soon, George discovered a woman wearing a hat with fruit on top of it. He went to where she was sitting and plucked a banana. 6 George tried to peel the banana but it wouldn't budge. He stuck the banana in his mouth, bit down, and discovered it was made of plastic. Disgusted, George hurled the fake banana at one of the stained glass windows, shattering it. 7 All eyes turned to George. From the podium, the man in the white suit yelled at Curious George. He screamed "You are an evil monkey! Evil monkeys will burn in Hell for all eternity!" Hurriedly, the man in the yellow hat picked up Curious George and they left. 8 As the man in the yellow hat was driving them home, a big truck pulled out in front of them. The man in the yellow hat slammed on the brakes, but they hit the back of the truck. George passed out. 9 When George came to, he was standing in the midst of flames. He tried to run, but a huge man dressed in red with horns and a pitchfork picked him up by the scruff of his neck and took him to a huge palace made of red hot iron, surrounded by flaming bushes. 10 The man brought him to a throne room where a man wearing red with horns sat upon the throne. The man carrying George threw him down and said "Master, I have brought the evil monkey who desecrates churches." He then bowed and left. 11 The man on the throne said to George in monkey language "Now I have you for all of eternity!" George replied in monkey language "Where am I? Who are you?" The man on the throne replied "I am Satan, and you are in Hell." 12 Satan told Curious George that since he had broken the stained glass window he would have to spend eternity watching re-runs of Jim and Tammy Bakker. George screamed "No! No! No! No! No!" as demons dragged him away. 13 The next thing George remembered, he was lying in a hospital bed. His friend in the yellow hat was asking him anxiously "George? Are you okay?" Since George couldn't speak, he didn't answer. 14 A doctor was saying, "It looks like he had a mild concussion. He'll be fine." George heard that and thought "Thank Big Juju. It was only a dream." He hugged the man in the yellow hat and swore to Big Juju never to go to church again. ?he, dnE ehT This file has been uploaded to London BBS (407) 859-2243 as a public service of the Vibrant Intensity Corporation. Not affiliated with the U.S. government or any other fascist organization. Father Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy | | ___\___/___ RN, KSC, TCO (The Connected One) / \


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