The Vibrant Intensity Conspiracy and Religion
in conjunction with
The Southern Baptists Convention
Curious George Goes To Hell
By: Fr. Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy, RN, KSC, TCO
Hail Eris Kallisti All Hail Discordja
One Sunday morning, the man in the yellow hat woke up
Curious George and said "Guess what George? We're going to
church!" He helped George into a suit, a tie, and some
dress shoes. They ate breakfast and then they drove to the
The church was a big building with many stained glass
windows. All around George were many people wearing nice
clothing. They were standing up and singing "What a friend
we have in Jesus." George wanted to sing with them, but
since he couldn't talk, he couldn't sing either.
A man wearing a white suit was on the podium talking.
He said "There is no path to heaven but through Jesus
Christ." George didn't believe that, since his father had
taught him that the only path to heaven was through the
great god Big Juju.
George looked over at his friend in the yellow hat. He
was fast asleep. George was hungry and wanted something to
eat. He began looking around for food.
Soon, George discovered a woman wearing a hat with fruit
on top of it. He went to where she was sitting and plucked
George tried to peel the banana but it wouldn't budge.
He stuck the banana in his mouth, bit down, and discovered
it was made of plastic. Disgusted, George hurled the fake
banana at one of the stained glass windows, shattering it.
All eyes turned to George. From the podium, the man in
the white suit yelled at Curious George. He screamed "You
are an evil monkey! Evil monkeys will burn in Hell for all
eternity!" Hurriedly, the man in the yellow hat picked up
Curious George and they left.
As the man in the yellow hat was driving them home, a
big truck pulled out in front of them. The man in the
yellow hat slammed on the brakes, but they hit the back of
the truck. George passed out.
When George came to, he was standing in the midst of
flames. He tried to run, but a huge man dressed in red with
horns and a pitchfork picked him up by the scruff of his
neck and took him to a huge palace made of red hot iron,
surrounded by flaming bushes.
The man brought him to a throne room where a man wearing
red with horns sat upon the throne. The man carrying George
threw him down and said "Master, I have brought the evil
monkey who desecrates churches." He then bowed and left.
The man on the throne said to George in monkey language
"Now I have you for all of eternity!" George replied in
monkey language "Where am I? Who are you?" The man on the
throne replied "I am Satan, and you are in Hell."
Satan told Curious George that since he had broken the
stained glass window he would have to spend eternity
watching re-runs of Jim and Tammy Bakker. George screamed
"No! No! No! No! No!" as demons dragged him away.
The next thing George remembered, he was lying in a
hospital bed. His friend in the yellow hat was asking him
anxiously "George? Are you okay?" Since George couldn't
speak, he didn't answer.
A doctor was saying, "It looks like he had a mild
concussion. He'll be fine." George heard that and thought
"Thank Big Juju. It was only a dream." He hugged the man
in the yellow hat and swore to Big Juju never to go to
?he, dnE ehT
This file has been uploaded to London BBS (407) 859-2243 as a
public service of the Vibrant Intensity Corporation.
Not affiliated with the U.S. government or any other fascist
Father Archimedes Aloysius Anarchy
___\___/___ RN, KSC, TCO (The Connected One)