+quot;A Short Hate Rant On The Word +quot;FUCK+quot; And The New Child Sex+quot; +quot;`Bo

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Organization: A.I.S.B., Jim Jones Cabal, Sphere of Bureaucracy, "A Short Hate Rant On The Word "FUCK" And The New Child Sex" "`Bob's` surreavolutionary doctrine of PATRIO-PSYCHOTIC ANARCHO-MATERIALISM has found ever-larger number of zealous adherents despite relentless persecution by the FBI and other robot engines of the Conspiracy" - SubGenuis propaganda pamphlet For those of you who have not achieved slack, have not attended devivals and do not understand Bulldada, there is time. Yes, For J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is the perfect "Bob" to ask when you need someone to cut you some SLACK. He alone, I say that he ALONE represents on Earth the true manifestation of SLACK so necessary to the SubGenuis. Take the first step in fighting of the Conspiracy and avoiding the pinks. Quit your Job! Slack Off! dammit [Neuro-hypnotic graphics at the bottom of this page] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prom Night Do you get tongue-tied, flustered, and turn to jello when an Johnny was excited. Prom night was attractive woman propositions finally here. He had been waiting for you? Well, world-famous author this day for two months. His knees were Snavely Patch is here to help shaking. "Is she gonna like me? Geesh, I you with his highly acclaimed hate first dates. Why did I have to make manual..... our first date Prom?" He donned his tuxedo and went down stairs. HOW TO SAY "Doesn't our little boy look so grown up!" "NO" TO WOMEN "Mom...stop that. When are you going to let me grow up?" "She means well son. Come here a minute, [graphic] I want to talk to you," his dad said as he ushered him off to the corner. "You need some money?" YOU WILL LEARN: "No dad. Well on second thought I could use a little, 'ncase I run out of gas or * Humiliating put-downs that somthing." will devastate women so thoroughly they will think "No sweat, how about a $50?...That's twice before ever molesting what I thought. Uh... Johnny, do you have you again your party hat?" * Rejections that don't "Dad, nobody wears top hats anymore, sound corny. c'mon..geesh!" * Subtle reflex maneuvers for "No Johnny, what I mean is, well, uh... diverting their grasp from Are you planning to fuck your date tonight? your genitalia. "Oh. Yes Dad I have my Party Hat." * Where all the "icebergs" Johnny couldn't believe it. His dad, never hang out acted like this before. "Prom must be something special," he said to himself as * 101 uses for a properly he left to get his date. "After all, it slung sidearm. isn't every night that a Catholic priest offers to give his illegitimate son condoms CALL BEFORE MIDNIGHT - $29.95 to fuck his companion on their first date. Visa/MC/AmEx 1-800-555-BLOW A GOVERNMENT DOES NOT HAVE TO [more graphics] PUT CHAINS ON PEOPLE WHO WILL PUT THEM ON THEMSELVES. WHAT ARE YOU CHAINED TO? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Blatant ad for:] Church of the SUBGENIUS Radio Show 12pm Sunday Night KZSU 90.1 FM [Great graphics by Dr. Howl] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Subject: Illuminatus Official Doc. 46364 Organization: A.I.S.B., Jim Jones Cabal, Sphere of Bureaucracy, Age of the Yog-Sathoth. Keywords: I'm afraid there have been some rumours floating around that the Ancient Illumi- nated Seers of Bavaria have had a hand in 1. Kennedy's Assasination, 2. George Bush's Public Vomiting, and 3. The Church of the SubGenius founding, and administration. We here at the Jim Jones Cabal would like to get a few things straight right now. We HAVE NEVER been a part of the JFK assasination, except for hiring the killers, co-ercing the CIA and the Dallas Police into 'turning the other way' for us, getting Lee Harvey Oswald to play the part of Dupe and take the fall for the whole thing, securing the weapons and ammo., getting the killers into position, hypnotising all of the members of the Warren Commision, blackmailing Oliver Stone into putting out "JFK" to further cloud the issue, and coming up with alt.conspiracy so that our little mis-information games could continue. We at the A.I.S.B. however are entirely responsible for the LHO shooting though. After all, he was the Head Honcho for the Chaos branch of the A.I.S.B. and we couldn't allow him to remain alive. We hope you understand. As for George Bush's Public Vomiting, except for one of our Secret Service contacts slipping a canister full of synthetic Stomach Flu virus into the Presidential Suite two nights before, we did nothing. The Flu was synthesized at the POEE's SphincterZone Labs in Umbrage, Vermintown, Atalantis (which is, BTW, the official name of Atlantis, which is the commonly used name). We have had the labs check the Prime Minister of Japan Brother Oliver Stone is hard at work on this one as well. The Church of the SubGenius, though, is another bowl of tumours entirely. The Church has been completely infiltrated by the A.I.S.B. and is being finely tuned to bring the majority of those identifying themselves as "the SubGenii", mostly college aged males, into line with official A.I.S.B. and POEE mindset. Thus, as has been hypothesized before, the Church of the SubGenius and all of its publications, trademarks, and upper ecshelon are all Illunminatus puppets. "Bob" himself, who was, according to Jim Jones files, born in Gary, Indiana in 1403 and 1924, and was killed officially, only once, on May 23, 1985 (5/23/85 for all you numerology buffs), was first conceived, in vitrio, in the same SphincterZone Labs. The date for X-day; July 5, 1998; has been set, because that is the day when the Eschaton will be immenantized. On this day, the Illuminati will return to South America, and the Cracking of the Great Pyramid will occur, taking all of the Illuminati to the safe havens under the ground. This is where all of the SubGenius fantasies of the X-ists came from. Unfortunately, we have already chosen the desirables from the UnFit, so becoming a card-carrying member is pretty pointless. This doesn't mean, however, that you should stop sending money; it goes to pay for our doughnuts. Sorry. Novus Ordo Seclorum --><-- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Prince Reverend Doktor Lord Sam Widgets of Pendleton; Prince of the Milky Way; Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences; Grand Master of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria, Jim Jones Cabal; Wise Siviast of the Ancient and Primitive Memphis-Misraim Rite; Knight of the Black Cross of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite; Magister Templi (8=3) of the Ancient and Noble Guardians of the (continued next message....) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------


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