The origins of Vice President J. Danforth Quayle. James Danforth Quayle was born on Feb. 4

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The origins of Vice President J. Danforth Quayle. ------------------------------------------------- James Danforth Quayle was born on Feb. 4th, 1947 to Corinne and James Quayle. James Quayle worked for Corinne's father, Eugene C. Pulliam, Indiana's most powerful publishing tycoon. In 1955 the Quayles moved to Scottsdale, Arizona from Huntington , Indiana. In Arizona, Dan Quayle learned to play golf. The family returned to Huntington in 1963, where Dan continued to play a lot of golf. Dan Quayle's high school grades were mediocre, but he actually did graduate. As a courtesy to Dan's rich parents and influential grandfather, DePauw University dropped its entrance standards so that Dan could get into college. At DePauw, Dan played even more golf. He became known on campus for his fierce pro-war and monotonous Anti-Communist talk. He also served on the fraternity-sorority social committee. "Dan Quayle was one of the few people able to get from the Deke house to the golf course without passing through a classroom... a crashingly mediocre student." - Robert Sedlack, DePauw English professor. "I was in college with the guy for three years and the only thing I remember is he was on the golf team and was quite a ladies' man... He was not a guy to take a position on anything except who his date was on Friday night and where to get drunk on Saturday Night." - Clark Adams, DePauw classmate. "He was as vapid a student as I can ever recall... Nothing came out of his mouth that was worth remembering." - Michael Lawrence, DePauw political science professor. "He doesn't have the greatest smarts in the world." - James Quayle He graduated in 1969 with a "C" average. Although a fanatically pro-war big-talker, Dan Quayle did not want to actually fight in Vietnam himself. A Pulliam employee who happened to be the former state commander of the National Guard was able to get Dan appointed to the Indiana Guard's cushy headquarters detachment. It was a coveted assignment, characterized by ex-guardsmen as a "dignitary unit". The people in this unit were top-notch individuals that included accomplished lawyers, accountants, and corporate district managers - and one Dan Quayle. With no previous experience, Quayle was admitted to the unit as a welder. He was given three months of welding training. Unseen influence intervened for Danny again, and he was transferred to the 120th Public Information Unit as soon a the first opening appeared. He served out his military career writing press releases, working on a Guard magazine (although not a single article ever appeared under his by-line). According to his fellow guardsmen, Quayle kept up an obnoxious steady stream of pro-war talk. After four years in the 120th, Quayle took a test evaluating his skills in such areas as "fundamentals of writing" and "Army information." The average score was 75; he scored a 56. Afterwards, he spent the rest of his military career in the reserves, exiting in 1975. Dan Quayle makes it to Congress ------------------------------- In 1976, a group of influential local Republicans with ties to the Quayle family invited the then 29-year-old Dan Quayle to run for Indiana's 4th Congressinal District seat. At the time, no credible Republican was willing to run against the popular incumbent Democrat, Ed Roush. Quayle's response: "I'll have to check with my dad." His father's response: "Go ahead. You won't win." At this point in his life, Dan Quayle entered the race with little more than his un-used law degree, 12 months experience working for his dad's 8300-circulation newspaper, and family connections. How he won is an interesting story - it turned out to be a combination of factors. The anti-incumbent feeling generated by the Watergate scandal did much to help Quayle, along with the lack-luster campaigning of his opponent. Supplied with massive cash donations from the New Right political action committee, Quayle's wife showed a streak of ferocious ambition and organizational skill. Dan spouted anti-incumbent rhetoric, shook hands, grinned boyishly, and had no trouble being seen as a Washington outsider. No one was more surprised than Dan when he captured 55% of the vote. Quayle's record in the House was that of an abysmal lightweight, although he did earn the reputation of being a heavy golfer. According to one of Quayle's aides, "His attendance record was lousy. They didn't know where he was most of the time. He'd be in the gym or he'd sneak off to play golf and they'd have to call all around to find him." Dan Quayle earned the nickname "Wet Head" by the numerous sightings of him emerging from the House gym. Indiana voters blindly sent him back for a second term two years later. His record on pollution, big business, human rights violators, the environment, worker's rights, and consumer protection suggests the influence of powerful lobbyists over the needs of the common people. *Quayle Congressional Voting Record* + Voted to limit funding for energy conservation and solar energy R&D. + Voted against taxing big oil companies on their windfall profits. + Voted to let the Import-Export Bank continue dealing with countries deemed human rights violators by the Secretary of State (like Iraq & Syria). + Voted to allow production of more chemical weapons and the neutron bomb. + Voted against creating national parks, wildlife refuges and nature preserves in Alaska, and to reduce wilderness areas in Idaho. + Voted against indexing minimum wage to cost of living. + Voted to allow certain businesses to ignore OSHA worker safety regulations. + Voted against establishing an office to represent individual consumers before federal agencies and courts. + Voted against establishing a consumer co-op bank. + Voted to allow companies to force job applicants to take lie detector tests. + Voted not to increase the tax paid on three martini lunches (the additional money were to go to school lunch programs). + Voted to halt debate on sanctions against South Africa. + Favored tax exemptions for private schools practicing racial descrimination. + Voted NOT to reform the military procurement system (Arguing against the proposed reforms, Quayle said, "In the past we have tried too much to prevent the making of mistakes.") + Voted to spend an more than $300 million on more chemical weapons. + Voted to remove Congressional approval for the procurement and assembly of chemical weapons. + Voted against mutually verifiable nuclear stockpile reductions (pronouces the word "nuclear" as "NUCULAR". + Voted to confirm the poorly qualified Daniel A. Manion to the high judicial position of appeals court judge. ( Manion is notorious for atrocious grammar, spelling, and syntax, and cited among his 10 most significant cases the defense of a client accused of improperly repairing a VW Rabbit. - BUT, he attended law school with his buddy, Dan Quayle. Defending Manion on Nightline, Quayle told Ted Koppel, "I'm not so sure that we want all those that graduated number one or number two in their class to be on... our federal judiciary. This is a diversified society.") + Introduced a bill to give golf pros a special tax break. + Voted against a toxic waste cleanup program. + Voted not to fund the successful Women, Infants, and Children program. + Voted Not to fund school breakfasts and lunches. + Voted against more funding for childhood immunizations. + Voted against funding for after-school child-care. + Voted against paying for workers' medical expenses associated with toxic dump cleanups. + Voted not to raise the minimum wage to only $4.55. + Voted against extending unemployment benefits in states with high unemployment. + Voted to maintain cuts in elementary and secondary eduction. + Voted against restoring the successful Head Start program for children. + Voted against a telecommunications network for teaching math, sciences and foreign languages. + Voted not to fund education for the disadvantaged. + Quayle was one of only 14 Senators to vote against the Civil Rights Restoration Act (which prohibits racial descrimination in Federally funded schools). + Voted to maintain cuts in urban development grants, mass transit, and community health centers. + Voted to allow insurance companies to discriminate against terminally ill people (including AIDS victims). + Voted to prohibit AIDS research. + Voted against critically needed health care benefits to the unemployed. + Voted against tax cuts for people who make less than $50,000 a year. + Voted to cut disability payments to WWII veterans whose diseases resulted from exposure to atomic weapons tests. + Voted to shut down mental health centers for Vietnam vets. + Opposed allowing veterns to participate in Job Training Partnership Act programs. Dan Quayle's Senate Record Part 1 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Although Dan Quayle had campaigned against incumbency, he began plotting ways to increase both his stay and his influence early in his freshman year in the House. By their own account, Dan and Marilyn began planning the overthrow of Democratic senator Birch Bayh in 1977. Even before the 1980 campaign had started, Quayle had convinced the influential Indiana Republicans to make him their second choice, right after Republican governor Doc Bowen. Quayle anticipated Doc Bowen's declination to run, and found himself the Republican of choice in the 1980 capaign. During the campaign, Quayle again made incumbency and Washington connections an issue. During a speech to a group of young supporters, Quayle claimed that long-term members of Congress "become Washington people rather than people from Indiana. They move out there... they send their kids to school out there...they breathe the air out there, they drink the water out there, they become part of the Washington buddy system." An odd charge to make, considering the fact that the Quayles bought a house in McLean, Virginia in 1977, from which they sent their children to school, breathed air, and drank water. Birch Bayh considered Quayle to be a lightweight and a joke. When his campaign staff suggested that he prepare for a campaign debate, he snapped, "C'mon boys, don't bother me. I'm debating Danny Quayle. The boy's retarded." The anti-incumbency feeling of 1980, coupled with the Republican money machine were against Bayh, however, and Danny made it into office on Ronald Reagan's lengthy coat-tails with a 54 to 46 percent margin. Quayle's first statements as a Senator made it clear that he didn't want any of the tough jobs. "I know one committee I don't want - Judiciary," he announced early on. "They are going to be dealing with all those issues like abortion, busing, voting rights, prayers. I'm not interested in those issues, and I want to stay as far away from them as I can." On the subject of civil rights, Quayle also admitted, "I have very little interest.... My personal concerns are very minimal in that area." The first scandal to rock Qualye's first year in the Senate was the report that the previous year he and two House colleagues had spent a Florida golf weekend sharing a room with lobbyist (and soon-to-be Playboy exhibitionist) Paula Parkinson. While Dan proclaimed his innocence, Marilyn revealed that "anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows he would rather play golf than have sex any day." No mention of this incident ever makes it into Dan Quayle's speeches on "family values". In 1986, Indiana Democrats were scared off by Quayle's popularity and ran a no-name against him who lost by a wide margin. Due in part to Quayle's enthusiasm for campaigning and hand shaking, and the Republican money machine, Quayle spent eight years in the Senate. Dan Quayle's Senate Record, Part 2 ---------------------------------- According to the Los Angeles Times, Quayle was known in the Senate as a "boisterous" speaker whose face turned red and arms flapped wildly when he was excited about an issue. "Critics note," the Times continued, "that he frequently talks at length about issues whether he completely undertands them or not... A congressional source remembers an incident in a closed committee meeting in which Quayle stood to propose an amendment but started to read from a paper on a different subject. Quayle never even realized it was the wrong paper until an aide approached and handed him the right one." In The Making of a Senator: Dan Quayle, the author reveals what Quayle said the difference was between the two houses of Congress: "The House is more informal. You can get a bunch of guys and go down to the gym and play basketball. You can't do that in the Senate." "At least he was in uniform, I saw him in uniform..." - James Quayle. "He doesn't have the greatest smarts in the world." - James Quayle. "Dan Quayle was one of the few people able to get from the Deke house to the golf course without passing through a classroom.. a crashingly mediocre student." - Robert Sedlack, DePauw English Professor. "I was in college with the guy for three years and the only thing I remember is he was on the golf team and was quite a ladies' man.... He was not a guy to take a position on anything except who his date was on Friday night and where to get drunk on Saturday night." - Clark Adams, DePauw classmate. "He was as vapid a student as I can ever recall... Nothing came out of his mouth that was worth remembering." - Michael Lawrence, Depauw political science professor. "His attendance record was lousy. They didn't know where he was a lot of the time. He'd be in the gym or he'd sneak off to play golf and they'd have to call all around to find him." - Quayle Congressional aide. "C'mon boys, don't bother me. I'm debating Danny Quayle. The boy's retarded." - Senator Birch Bayh. "I know one committee I don't want - Judiciary." - Senator Dan Quayle. "They are going to be dealing with all those issues like abortion, busing, voting rights, prayers. I'm not interested in those issues, and I want to stay as far away from them as I can." - Senator Dan Quayle. "Anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows he would rather play golf than have sex any day." - Marilyn Quayle. "The house is more informal. You can get a bunch of guys and go down to the gym and play basketball. You can't do that in the Senate." - Dan Quayle on the difference between the two houses of Congress. "I'm not sure that we want all those that graduated number one or number two in their class to be on... our federal judiciary. This is a diversified society." - Dan Quayle. Campaigning Quayle Quotes ------------------------- "Everybody will say, 'What a fantastic choice.'" - George Bush predicting the response to announcement of Dan Quayle as running mate (JUL 21 1988). "Being Vice President would be a good career move." - Dan Quayle (AUG 13 1988). Bush stuns nation with announcement of running mate, calls him "man of the future." Quayle leaps out of crowd and bounces up to podium like game show contestant, grabbing at Bush and gushing, "Let's go get 'em!" Quayle rubs kiss from Barbara Bush off cheek. (AUG 16 1988). "A guy that good-looking just has to be attractive to women." - Sen. John McCain (AUG 16 1988). "He's hot. He's dynamite. Overnight, he'll become a national hero." - Sen. Chic Hecht (AUG 16 1988). "I was supporting Jack Kemp, but he sort of looks like Jack Kemp." - Phyllis Schlafly. "The issue is not who might have been the very best qualified to be president. The issue is getting someone who is extremely well qualified to be president and might have some other attributes as well." - James Baker III (AUG 16 1988). August 17th, 1988: Quayle is asked why he joined National Guard instead of going to Vietnam, says: "Well, it's - growing up in Huntington, Indiana, the first thing you think about is education. You think about what any small-town person would think about - eventually growing up, raising a family. I was fortunate to be able to go on to law school, meet my wife. We have, I'm blessed with my three beautiful children. We're very happy, very content and looking forward to a very exciting campaign. I did not know in 1969 that I would be in this room today, I'll confess." Quayle is asked the same question again. Quayle replies, "My brother and I, two years younger, both went into the service at the same time, about the same time. He went into the Marine Corps and I went into the National Guard. I went into the National Guard and I served six years there from 1969 through 1975." "The real question for 1988 is whether we're going to go forward to tomorrow or past to the - to the back!" - Dan Quayle to the California delegation. August 17, 1988: Quayle makes rounds of network anchor booths: Quayle tells Peter Jennings, "I'm very proud of my service in the National Guard... There are really millions of Americans that have served in the National Guard." Tells Dan Rather, "I'm very proud of my service in the National Guard.... There are really millions of people in America that are very proud to be part of the National Guard. I'm one of them." Tells Tom Brokaw, "I'm very proud of my service in the National Guard... There are millions of people in America that are very proud of their service in the National Guard." Says "phone calls were made" to facilitate his entry into Guard. Washington Post reveals incorrect punctuation on Quayle's mailbox: "The Quayle's." (AUG 18 1988) Quayle accepts vice-presidential nomination, says, "I don't presume to talk for everyone of my generation." (AUG 18 1988). August 19, 1988: Quayle visits hometown of Huntington, Indiana. Explains why he asked parents to help get him into National Guard: "I do- I do- I do - I do what any normal person would do at that age: you call home. You call home to mother and father and say, 'I'd like to get in the National Guard.'" He refuses to say if he's offered to take his name off the ticket because it's "not a yes or no question." "I'm just mad about George Bush, can't get my fill - Danny Quayle's looks give me a thrill." - Pia Zadora (AUG 19 1988). "The U.S. is naked, absolutely nude to attack by Soviets." - Dan Quayle (AUG 20 1988). "Quayle, Quayle - called his Mom - Everybody else - went to Nam." - shouted by hecklers in Ohio (AUG 20 1988). A Heartbeat Away ---------------- "In my generation, you knew who was in the Guard and who was in uniform fighting for their country." - Sen. Robert Dole (AUG 21 1988). While campaigning in Cleveland, Quayle attends church where he is confronted by a WWII veteran who declares "You're a draft dodger!" (AUG 21 1988). August 22, 1988: Quayle reverses earlier admissions and denies family influences helped him get into National Guard. Bush starts to defend Quayle against charges that had never been made: "He did not go to Canada, he did not burn his draft card and he damn sure didn't burn the American flag!" August 23, 1988: Quayle stages a photo-op to deny resurfaced charges made by Paula Parkinson that Quayle made sexual advances to her in Florida. "I hope there's some respect and dignity for things I did not do." - Dan Quayle (AUG 23 1988) "Dan's main interests in school were broads and booze." - James Quayle (AUG 23 1988) "Whatever you guys want, I'm for." - Dan Quayle's response to farmers regarding question about a local farm issue. (AUG 25 1988) August 25, 1988: Quayle claims that his work on Senate Armed Services Committee involved getting cruise missiles "more accurate so that we can have precise precision." August 26, 1988: Quayle refuses to release school records and blames inflated job descriptions in his resume on his staff. "Exports are very important." - Dan Quayle (response to question on farm policy - AUG 26 1988) "Although in public I refer to him as Mr. Vice President, in private I call him George. When he called, when I talked to him on the phone yesterday, I called him George rather than Mr. Vice President. But in public it's Mr. Vice President because that's who he is." - Dan Quayle (explaining his "intra-personal" relationship with Bush, AUG 27 1988) August 28, 1988: Quayle is unable to give the correct answer (George Bush) when asked who has run National Narcotics Border Interdiction System for past six years. August 30, 1988: Jay Leno suggests title for movie about Quayle's Vietnam years: "Full Dinner Jacket." "This election is about who's going to be the next president of the United States!" - Dan Quayle to campaign rally. (SEP 2 1988) "Perestroika is nothing more than refined Stalinism." - Dan Quayle (SEP 4 1988) "FDR was a lousy student who failed the bar exam seven times, for goodness' sake." - Marilyn Quayle (In fact, FDR passed on the first try. SEP 8 1988) "There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offense. In other words, a good offense wins." - Dan Quayle (SEP 8 1988) "Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better prospect to denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place to have a reduction of offensive systems and an introduction to defensive capability. I believe that is the route this country will eventually go." - Dan Quayle (SEP 8 1988) "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between parent and child." - Dan Quayle (SEP 8 1988) Dan Quayle has "almost a rock star aura." - Lee Atwater. (SEP 8 1988) September 9, 1988: Quayle denies entry into law school was dependent on affirmative action program. Visits steel plant, tells T-shirt wearing audience, "I can identify with steelworkers. I can identify with workers that have had a difficult time." Says he defended steel quotas in face-to-face encounter with Reagan by looking him "right across the eyes." "Want to hear a sad story about the Dukakis campaign? The governor of Massachusetts, he lost his top naval adviser last week. His rubber ducky drowned in the bathtub." - Dan Quayle (SEP 13 1988) "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history." - Dan Quayle (SEP 15 1988) After being told Holocaust didn't happen in America, Quayle responds: "I meant to say in this century's history. We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." (SEP 15 1988) "Endive! Endive! Endive! Remember that! Endive! Endive! Endive! Endive! Endive!" - Dan Quayle (SEP 16 1988) September 17, 1988: Adviser describes Quayle as "the future standing right up there." "Were going to have the best educated American people in the world!" - Dan Quayle (SEP 21 1988) "George the Bush" - Dan Quayle (SEP 21 1988) September 23, 1988: Quayle attempts to explain his vote against Iran trade embargo: "That particular vote was a vote where I did not think that the resolution on that particular case would have been helpful." Audience giggles. "We cannot gamble with inexperience in that Oval Office." - George Bush (campaigning with Quayle SEP 26 1988) "You are such a weenie" - University of Pennsylvania student (shaking Quayle's hand. SEP 26 1988) October 5, 1988: Quayle arrives at Omaha debate site for sound check, informs media that "The mike works. That's very important to make sure the mike works and ours is working well." "Hey Roger, does... on, on this, you know, if I'm gonna, if I, if I decide on my gesture over there... is that all right?.... you don't mind?" - Dan Quayle asking adviser Roger Ailes's permission to make hand gesture during debate. (OCT 5 1988) "The next president better understand about telemetry and acryption" - Dan Quayle (at the '88 VP debate). "I take my children hiking and fishing in the woods" - Dan Quayle (at '88 VP debate). "It would be bad for the economy if we have another Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy, Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo." - Dan Quayle (at '88 VP debate). "I know Margaret Thatcher and Helmut Kohl and they know me." - Dan Quayle (at '88 VP debate) "They sneer at that because it's common sense. They sneer at common sense advice. Midwestern advice. Midwestern advice from a grandmother to a grandson. Important advice. Something that we ought to talk about." - Dan Quayle (at '88 VP debate) "When you think about what might have happened, we have to be pretty happy." - James Baker (assessment of Quayle's debate performance). October 6, 1988: Quayle explains repeated inability to tell debate audience what he'd do if he suddenly became president: "I had not had that question before." October 7, 1988: Quayle sprays water at reporters "for all those stories you've been writing about me." Asked about his parents' ties to the John Birch Society, calls question "ill-relevant." His response to being asked why is "Because I said so!" "Certainly I know what to do [if I become president] and when I am vice president - and I will be - there will be contingency plans under different situations. And I'll tell you what - I'm not going to go out and have a news conference about it, I'm going to put it in a safe and keep it there! Does that answer the question?" - Dan Quayle (OCT 10 1988) October 10, 1988: Quayle handlers tell media that they have to "potty train" him. "I'm the handler... I am Doctor Spin!" - Dan Quayle (OCT 10 1988) October 11, 1988: Quayle spots display of pumpkins in Ohio and shouts "Pumpkin time!" "RELEASE DAN QUAYLE'S COLLEGE RECORDS NOW." - Full page ad appearing in the nation's newspapers. (OCT 13 1988) "I am the future!" - Dan Quayle (OCT 18 1988) "We have gold and yellow and some red and, believe me, those are Republican colors. Bold colors, bright colors, future colors!" - Dan Quayle (describing the leaves on trees in the fall. OCT 20 1988) October 20, 1988: Quayle is asked why he calls rural America "real America," responds, "It's rural America. It's where I came from. We always refer to ourselves as real America. Rural America, real America, real, real America." "First we had to shut that John Birch father of his up, and then the National Guard thing hit." - Stuart Spencer (complaining about the difficulty of running the Quayle campaign. OCT 20 1988) "We'll let the sunshine come in and shine on us, because today we're happy and tomorrow we'll be even happier." - Dan Quayle (to Miami high school with city's worst dropout rate. OCT 26 1988) "Good Night." - Dan Quayle at 10 a.m. (OCT 26 1988) "We will invest in our people, quality eduction, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America." - Dan Quayle (speaking to Cuban emigres. OCT 26 1988) October 27, 1988, Dan Quayle addresses the homeless problem: "I would guess that there's adequate low-income housing in the country." October 27, 1988, Dan Quayle is asked how campaign promise of college eduction for anyone who wants one will be kept, responds: "I haven't sat down and talked with George Bush on this, so I can't go in and tell you how we're going to do it." October 28, 1988: Philadelphia Daily News refuses to endorse Bush because he "pretends, despite all the evidence, that J. Danforth Quayle is not a callow moron." Quayle accidently crashes through a paper pumpkin at Michigan high school rally. (OCT 31 1988) November 1, 1988: Quayle tells Ohio high school students that AIDS is "a very serious disease." November 2, 1988: Quayle, asked at Memphis senior citizens luncheon how his living arrangements would change if he's elected replies, "Well, it would sure be different to live in that White House." - Doesn't know that the Vice President doesn't occupy White House. November 4, 1988: Convicted drug dealer Brett Kimberlin is placed in solitary confinement to prevent him from calling a prison cell press conference to reveal that he used to sell pot to Quayle. November 5, 1988: Quayle, campaigning at a Baltimore suburb produce market tells audience he and Marilyn were impressed by "the different types of little things that you could get for Christmas. And all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things that said, 'I believe in Santa Claus.' And the only thing I could think is that I believe in George Bush." "I'm grateful for the right of Americans to elect the representatives to represent them in a free representative democracy." - Dan Quayle (NOV 6 1988) November 7, 1988: In half-hour election-eve Republican TV ad, Quayle goes completely unmentioned. November 8, 1988: Bush/Quayle win the election 54% to 46%. Polls indicate Quayle cost ticket 2% of vote. "The Secret Service is under orders that if Bush is shot, to shoot Quayle." Joke told by Democratic Sen. John Kerry. (NOV 8 1988) November 16, 1988: Despite previous claims that he knows her, Dan Quayle is not invited to a state dinner for Margaret Thatcher. "These aren't animals, these are wild quail... I don't think I could shoot a deer. Quail - that's something else again." - George Bush (defending annual quail-hunting trip DEC 26 1988). "Dan Quayle is an ideological baloney sandwich" - Kevin Phillips, Republican analyst. (1988) "I'd like to see him spend just one night in the jungle. Don't even throw in the enemy. Just the elements." - John LaPenta, Vietnam veteran (1988) "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." - Dan Quayle (NOV 30 1988) Dan Qualye's Favorite Subject ----------------------------- "We know what happens when families break up. We know what happens when you have, or don't have, a family. A family is very important, particularly to the children." - Dan Quayle (AUG 17 1988) "I've been blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful family, and I am proud of my family. Anybody turns to their family. I have a very good family. I'm very fortunate to have a very good family. I believe very strongly in the family. It's one of the things we have in our platform, is to talk about it." - Dan Quayle (AUG 27 1988) "Don't forget the importance of the family. It begins with the family. We're not going to redefine the family. Everybody knows the definition of the family. A child. A mother. A father. There are other arrangements of the family, but that is a family and family values. - Dan Quayle to Job Corps students (SEP 28 1988) "I suppose three important things certainly come to my mind that we want to say thank you. The first would be our family. Your family, my family - which is composed of an immediate family of a wife and three children, a larger family with grandparents and aunts and uncles. We all have our family, whichever that may be... The very beginnings of civilization, the very beginnings of this country, goes back to the family. And time and time again, I'm often reminded, especially in this presidential campaign, of the importance of a family, and what a family means to this country. And so when you pay thanks a I suppose the first thing that would come to mind would be to thank the Lord for the family." - Quayle ruminating about Thanksgiving (NOV 6 1988) Hilarious Quotes from our most dangerous dimwit, VP Dan Quayle. P1 ------------------------------------------------------------------ "The United States condones violence in El Salvador." - Dan Quayle (JAN 31 1989) February 3, 1989: Quayle visits El Salvador, says U.S. expects local officials "to work toward the elimination of human rights." March 2, 1989: GOP National Committee censures Louisiana state legislator David Duke, Quayle commends party for its "censorship" of former Klansman. March 10, 1989: Quayle accuses Democrats who blocked nomination of John Tower of "loosing a new wave of McCarthyism in this country." "I'm the vice president. They know it, and they know that I know it." - Dan Quayle (gloating over political enemies MAR 13 1989) The Satanic Versus by author Salman Rushdie is "obviously not only offensive but, I think, most of us would say, in bad taste." - Dan Quayle (though he hadn't read it. MAR 16 1988) March 31, 1989: Bush establishes President's Council on Competitiveness, names Dan Quayle as chairman. April 1, 1989: Dan Quayle is ridiculed at Gridiron Dinner. Marilyn glares with anger at the joke tellers. April 5, 1989: USA Today reports Quayle's bold praise of a pastime popluar with Bush: "Great American sport. Horseshoes is a very great game. I love it." "We will move forward, we will move upward, and yes, we will move onward." - Dan Quayle (to Chicago students APR 24 1989) "Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." - Dan Quayle (APR 25 1989) "You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be." - Dan Quayle (to American Samoans APR 25 1989) Quayle arrives in Pago Pago, calls it "Pogo Pogo." (APR 1989) April 30, 1989: Quayle insists on getting in one more tennis game and snorkel dive at Jakarta luxury resort, and arrives two hours late for meeting with Indonesian vice president. May 1, 1989: Marilyn Quayle announces that her pet project is "disasters." May 2, 1989: Quayle plays so long at Singapore golf course that he arrives late for meeting with prime minister. "You can tell from the way he plays golf that he's a natural leader." - Quayle Aide. (MAY 2 1989) "Every once in a while, you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You can't do that. It's gone, gone forever." - Dan Quayle (MAY 4 1989) May 5, 1989: Quayle, inspecting Exxon Valdez oil spill, tells cleanup workers to "have a great day." May 8, 1989: Upon receiving an honorary degree from Fisk University, Quayle says that the black Nashville institution has made "the greatest comeback since Bill Cosby returned to network television." "What a waste it is to lose one's mind, or, Not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." - Dan Quayle (addressing United Negro College Fund MAY 9 1989) "This administration stands for the future. It also stands for what's good about this country." - Dan Quayle (MAY 19 1989) May 24, 1989: Quayle addresses West Point graduating class. Spokesman David Beckwith says cadets "made an animal-type grunting sound when the National Guard was mentioned. There were some good-natured grunts. Let me admit theoretically that some people hissed." June 13, 1989: Quayle in El Salvador poses with a grenade launcher aimed at his own elbow. July 15, 1989: At the Young Republicans National Convention, Quayle refers to astronaut Buzz Aldrin as "Buzz Lukens," an Ohio congressman recently jailed for having sex with a 16-year-old girl. Quayle believes we can breathe on Mars! --------------------------------------- Whitcover/Germond campaign book reports derisive comments made by Quayle's own aides about the candidate's "immaturity and lack of attention." "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush and my fellow astronauts." - Dan Quayle (addressing 20th aniversary of moon landing. JUL 20 1989) "Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen, that means we can breathe." - Dan Quayle (AUG 11 1989) "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - Dan Quayle (AUG 15 1989) "Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan and the United States of the Western industrialized capacity, 60 percent of the GNP, two countries. That's a statement in and of itself." - Dan Quayle (OCT 2 1989) "There is a future in the Games in the future." - Dan Quayle (promoting Goodwill Games. OCT 16 1989) October 18, 1989: Quayle, dressed in blue blazer with gold lettering identifying him as "Dan Quayle, Vice President of the U.S.", inspects earthquake disaster in San Francisco. Says he "couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake," calls it "heart-rendering sight." Adds, "The loss of life will be irreplaceable." Local resident heckles, "Don't worry, Dan, nothing happened to the golf course." November 4, 1989: White House aide claims Quayle was central strategist for Bush's plans on capital gains, SDI, and Tower nomination. Aide fails to say Bush was unsuccessful in all three. "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'" - Dan Quayle (DEC 6 1989) December 6, 1989: Quayle mistakenly identifies Czechoslovakian invasion resistance hero Dubcek as the one "who brought tanks in in Czechoslovakia." "May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world." - Misspelled message on 30,000 Christmas cards sent out by the Quayles. (DEC 21 1989) "I'm not, as they say, a potted plant in these meetings." - Dan Quayle (DEC 30, 1989) "I could take over if that tragic event should occur... I know what the president does on a day-to-day basis, how he goes about the job. I'm there. I'm present... Believe me, I know what to do." - Dan Quayle (DEC 30 1989) "Bush ain't dead, is he?" - question to Quayle from resident of drug-infested D.C. neighborhood. (FEB 15 1990) "I was 11 then. I remember reading it in the Weekly Reader, how Vice President Nixon planted a tree here, and I always wanted to do that. It's true. I was 11 years old. I read it." - Dan Quayle (planting tree in Paraguay. MAR 13 1990) March 13, 1990: Quayle visits frigate in Buenos Aires. The ship's captain tells him, "We haven't had time to get you a respectful gift," presents him with an empty box. "I know Latin American leaders by their first names." - Dan Quayle (MAR 19 1990) "If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure." - Dan Quayle (MAR 23 1990) "The public is being programmed to think our vice president is a laughingstock." - Dorothy Vallosio, Founder of Hit The Trail For Quayle Club. (APR 9 1990) May 1, 1990: Quayle issues warning about dangerous asteroids. May 9, 1990: Several members of American Legion of Paris boycott American Embassy ceremonty to protest presence of Quayle. "1992 is a long time away... There is public out there still willing to want to know who I am." - Dan Quayle (MAY 20 1990) "Even though federal health officials are promoting less tobacco use, the tobacco industry should continue to expand in foreign markets." - Dan Quayle (JUL 18 1990) "The U.S. is not going to deny a country an export from out country just because it's deadly." - Dan Quayle (JUL 18 1990) "For NASA, space is still a high priority." - Dan Quayle (SEP 5 1990) "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." - Dan Quayle (SEP 18 1990) "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Dan Quayle (on the volatile Middle East situation. SEP 22 1990) "I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate." - Dan Quayle (SEP 26 1990) "Vietnam is a jungle. You had jungle warfare. Kuwait, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, you have sand." - Dan Quayle (OCT 2 1990) "...from an historical basis, Middle East conflicts do not last a long time." - Dan Quayle (OCt 2 1990) "I work with the president almost on a daily basis. I was with him until 6:30 last night. I'll be with him Thursday morning. We talk every day." - Dan Quayle (OCT 9 1990) "Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists." - Dan Quayle (OCT 12 1990) "I'm Dan Quayle. I'm Dan Quayle. I'm Dan Quayle. I am Dan Quayle. The real Dan Quayle. The real Dan Quayle stand up. I'm Dan Quayle. I'm Dan Quayle. - Dan Quayle (from taped rehearsal Quayle had with media consultant in 1980). "Defense Secretary Dick Cheney and I have something in common. That is that we both overmarried." - Dan Quayle (NOV 8 1990) "This will not be another Vietnam." - Dan Quayle (addressing combat-ready troups in Saudi Arabia. DEC 31 1990) "He was never near Vietnam, so if this was another one, how would HE know?" - Comedian Harry Shearer (DEC 31 1990) "Quayle bashing is a term used by the vice president's defenders whenever someone points out that the man is a fool." - Columnist Richard Cohen (JAN 3 1991) "I think he accurately expresses the views of most Americans." - Emily White, member, Friends of Dan Quayle (FEB 4 1991) "Quayle's tenure didn't turn out quite as we had planned and hoped." - Bush Aide (MAR 3 1991) "America's Gulf triumph is a stirring victory for the forces of aggression." - Dan Quayle (APR 11 1991) "My dad is very very nice - But he is not made of sugar and spice - Sometimes he acts as if he has been disturbed - But at other times he is as cheerful as a bird." - (Poem Dan Quayle wrote at 13) June 15, 1991: Quayle hosts 5-kilometer race to benefit cancer reasearch, tells fellow runners, "I appreciate your all participationg in this 5,000-kilometer run." "You hear a rumor and then you run for cover. You get under a bush like a quail and hope that you don't get flushed out for a while." - George Bush (JUL 12 1991) July 17, 1991: The Nation, reporting on Quayle's role as head of President's Council on Competitiveness, says his domestic policy experience "appears to be largely limited to undercutting safeguards that protect public health." August 13, 1991: Lawyer Quayle addresses American Bar Association, states there are too many lawyers. "The lawyers today, the media tomorrow." - Dan Quayle (SEP 24 1991) "We do, in former chairman Lee Atwater's words, offer the party as a big tent, and therefore that message has to be clear. How we do that within the platform, the preamble to the platform or whatnot, that remains to be seen. But that message will have to be articulated with great clarity." - Dan Quayle (OCT 8 1991) October 8, 1991: Quayle Explains that "the big tent is a pro-life tent." London-based Plain English Campaign gives Quayle its annual Doublespeak Award for the quote. November 3, 1991: WWII hero Richard McCool drops out of Congressional Medal of Honor Society because organization is presenting Patriot Award to Quayle. November 8, 1991: Quayle comments on Magic Johnson AIDS story: "If there is something that I can personally do to encourage young people, I would say not 'safe sex,' I would talk about abstinence. That's a sure cure and we ought to be talking about it. It's the proper response. I think there is a lot of virtue in abstinence." November 11, 1991: Storyline revealing previously secret 1982 investigation into charges - ultimately unsubstantiated - that Quayle used cocaine and quaaludes. "My friends, no matter how rough the road my be, we can and we will never, never surrender to what is right." - Dan Quayle (NOV 15 1991) November 17, 1991: On This Week with David Brinkly, Quayle attempts to mock possible candidate Cuomo 3 times by exaggerating pronounciation of his name as "Maaaarrrrio." "Danny, the cabin boy for the captain of the Titanic." - Mario Cuomo. (NOV 19 1991) December 6, 1991: Quayle's comment regarding John Sununu's departure from White House staff: "This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs." December 17, 1991: Bush hunting party kills 29 quail. January 8, 1992: In Tokyo, Bush ignores physician's warning to stay in bed, attends dinner. Bush vomits in lap of Japanese prime minister, collapses to floor. Quayle asked about fitness to take over presidency declares, "I'm ready!" "You didn't make a mistake by electing Ronald Reagan in 1980 and 1984, and you didn't make a mistake by electing George Bush in 1988, and you're not gonna make a mistake by electing anyone else besides George Bush in 1992." - Dan Quayle (JAN 8 1992) "Think of all the things we rely upon in space today. Communications from Japan. Detection of potential ballistic missile attacks. Ballistic missiles are still there. Other nations to have ballistic missiles. How do you think we were able to etect some of the Scud missiles and things like that? Space. Reconnaissance. Weather. Communications. You name it. We (pause) use (pause) space (long pause) a lot (pause) today. And we're going to continue." - Dan Quayle (JAN 9 1992) January 10, 1992: Woodward/Broder series reveals the infamous Marilyn Quayle tantrum in which she scribbled over unflattering image of husband in photo, kicked it to remove it from frame, and tore it to bits. January 12, 1992: When asked if he had any black friends or staff members he regularly consults with, Quayle replied, "Well, Carolyn Washington runs the house, and we see her every day." "George Bush will lead us out of the recovery." - Dan Quayle (JAN 16 1992) January 17, 1992: Quayle spots a Now Hiring sign in Burger King window, and cites it as proof that the economy is "beginning to turn around." When told that job pays $4.25 an hour, Quayle replies: "You have a part-time job, you have a job. That's better than no job at all." "Vice presidents have no visible employment except reading aloud; and now, it seems, we would demand too much if we asked this one to perform that minimal chore acceptably." - Marilyn Quayle (JAN 19 1992) February 1, 1992: Quayle asks owner of a New Hampshire Dunkin' Donuts how business is. Owner replies, "It would be better without you and the Secret Service agents blocking the counter." February 23, 1992: During Meet the Press, Quayle denies that he joined National Guard "to avoid going to Vietnam," denies that the Willie Horton ad was an example of negative advertising, and denies that Bush broke his read-my-lips, no-new-taxes promise by signing the $138 billion tax hike in 1990. March 26, 1992: Four growths removed from Bush's face - doctor recommends vacation. April 13, 1992: Brett Kimberlin appears on-the-air from prison on San Antonio radio talk show, claims to have sold both pot and quaaludes to Quayle during the 1970s. "Are the AIDS patients taking DDT?" - Dan Quayle (question to Bellevue Hospital administrators in New York. APR 30 1992) May 19, 1992: Quayle, in San Francisco, cites fictional character Murphy Brown's "mocking the importance of fathers" as example of Hollywood values that resulted in "lawless social anarchy" of the L.A riots. May 20, 1992: Quayle tours South Central L.A., attacks Hollywood types for living in "the world of comfort. They ought to come with me out to where the real America is." "Illegitimacy is something that we should talk about in terms of not having." - Dan Quayle (MAY 20 1992) "He's not, like, smart. I'm not trying to bag on him or anything, but he has the same mentality I have - and I'm in the eighth grade." - Teenage onlooker South Central L.A. MAY 20 1992) June 9, 1992: Quayle begins attack on "cultural elite," and declares, "I wear their scorn as a badge of honor." June 10, 1992: Quyale visits Long Island community center, plays basketball wearing tassled loafers. Says he knows "exactly who the cultural elite, the media elite and the Hollywood elite are. I've got them in my sights." When asked who they are, specifically, Quayle repliese, "They know who they are." June 15, 1992: Quayle holds a spelling bee at Trenton, New Jersey, elementary school. Tells 12-year-old William Figueroa, who has just spelled "potato" correctly on blackboard, "You gotta add a little bit at the end there. Spell that again now." The kid spells it correctly a 2nd time. Quayle says, "Now add one little bit on the end. Think of po-ta-to, how is that spelled? You're right phonetically, but what else...?" When the child gives in and adds "e," Quayle says "There you go!" June 15, 1992: Little William Figueroa says incident "showed the rumors about the vice president are true." What rumors? "That he's an idiot." June 19, 1992: Quayle attacks the "cultural elite" on MacNeil/Lehrer News Hour, is again unable to identify them: "They know who they are. (laughs) And I know who they are... The American people know exactly who I'm talking about. The cultural elite know who I'm talking about... We all know that it's there. And it's not going to serve my purpose to go in and to name who's in and who's out... You know a cultural elitist when you see one." (laughs uproariously)." "The kid is a smart kid... The kid, he knew EXACTLY how to spell it. The press run out to see what the spelling really is. They (chuckles) have to look it up in the dictionary! (chuckles) But the kid knew. The kid's smart." - Dan Quayle (JUN 19 1992) June 22, 1992: Barbara Walters asks Bush who Quayle has in mind when he refers to the "cultural elite." Bush replies, "I hope he's not talking about me." "Quayle says he wears scorn and ridicule like a badge, so we wanted to deputize him." - Matt Groening (creator of the Simpsons. JUN 25 1992) June 27, 1992: Bush's daughter remarries. Quayles not invited. July 2, 1992: Quayle claims Bush broke no-new-taxes pledge because he needed to focus on the crisis in Middle East, though, in fact, invasion of Kuwait occurred several weeks after the tax hike was agreed to. July 7, 1992: Quayle appears on Rush Limbaugh radio show, says, "Our trick, our trick, Rush is - not trick, our challenge - our challenge is to make sure that the American people feel comfortable with the leadership that George Bush will offer for the next four years." July 16, 1992: Abortion group distributes pro-Quayle literature outside Democratic Convention, misspells his name "Quale." July 22, 1992: Marilyn Quayle blames Dan's poor polls on a media conspiracy. July 22, 1992: Quayle tells Larry King he'd support "whatever decision" his daughter made - including abortion - if she were to become pregnant. July 23, 1992: Conservative columnist George Will suggests that Bush replace Quayle with Colin Powell. July 23, 1992: Conservative columnist William F. Buckley, Jr. suggests Bush replace Quayle with Jack Kemp. July 26, 1992: Chicago Tribune urges Bush to dump Quayle: "Hardly any American can be comfortable with the thought that Quayle could become president... That job requires more than ordinary talent; nothing about Quayle rises above the ordinary." "There is nothing about Dan Quayle that generates respect." - New York Newsday, urging Bush to dump Quayle. (JUL 26 1992) July 30, 1992: Former Florida Republican chairman calls Quayle an "albatross," takes out full-page ad in Washington Post urging him to resign from the ticket. "Give a person a fish, and he'll fish for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll fish for a lifetime." - Dan Quayle November 1992: The revised edition of Bartlet's Familiar Quotations includes Dan Quayle's "What a waste it is to lose one's mind." "The deficiency Dan Quayle exudes goes well beyond intelligence per se. He's just a generally out-of-his-depth guy... He greets you with a rote, dishrag handshake and fuzzy eye contact reminiscent of Katharine Ross in The Stepford Wives. Then he sits down and fails to make passable small talk. He occasionally tells a dopey joke, and, when somebody tells a good one, he grasps it roughly two second after everyone else; once he even echoed the punch line in less subtle terms, as if anyone but him needed to have it boiled down." - Robert Wright, New Republic "Ask him to turn off a light, and by the time he gets to the switch, he's forgotten what he want for." - Joseph Canzeri, Quayle campaign aide. "He treats language like a Lego set, taking a phrase, repeating and building on it, often without regard to meaningful content..." - Maureen Dowd, New York Times "You always learn something by reading the classics. Particularly The Prince. I go through and look at this from this intellectual point of view... Machiavelli had these three classes of mind... The first class was the person that was creative enough to be leader and be able to lead a great nation without much help. The second class of mind was one that wasn't creative but could take ideas, put people around him, and be able to lead nations forward. And the third class of people didn't really know much of anything. And they were the worst kind of leaders, because not only were they not creative, but they didn't know what was right or wrong and they just sort of went by whatever they felt like. I've tried to figure out where I am. I know I'm not the first one because I don't think I have that creativeness that Machiavelli talks about. If I go back and reread it I might figure it out exactly where I put myself. I'm somewhere in between two and one." - Quayle on Machiavelli's The Prince Marilyn Quayle: Out Of Control ------------------------------ Originally reported by Bob Woodward and David S. Broder in THE MAN WHO WOULD BE PRESIDENT: DAN QUAYLE: "On the wall was a large photograph of Dan Quayle finishing a golf swing. His shirt had gathered and filled at stomch level, suggesting a paunch. 'You can't have that up there,' Marilyn Quayle said she remembers saying. ' It's terrible... Take it down... Look at that stomach!'... She picked up a pen and began scribbling out her husband's image with deep, heavy strokes, first the midsection and then the rest of him. 'I made it so you couldn't see who it was,' she recalled. "At first, said one of the women who witnessed the incident, 'We took it pretty much as a joke... but it got very intense.... It did flash through my mind: She's taking a lot out on that picture.'... An eyewitness said that Marilyn Quayle then placed the picture on the floor and, 'She kicked it.'... She kicked it repeatedly to remove it from its frame, then angrily tore it to bits. Her final words, all agreed, were, 'I don't want to ever see this again!'... In an interview, one of the eyewitnesses said, 'To do it in front of all of us, I've seen some pretty goofy things, but nothing like this... Human behavior is a strange thing.' In a final half-hour interview in which she spoke about the picture incident and other matters, she described it as a 'lark,' and a joke that had been misinterpreted. "But during the interview, she became alternately distraught and indignant over the prospect of the incident becoming public. At several points, her voice quavered and she became tearful. "'I don't lose my temper very often,' she said. 'I am not a violent person.'"


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