For Immediate Release! WORLD'S HEAVIEST ELEMENT DISCOVERED The heaviest element known to s

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For Immediate Release! WORLD'S HEAVIEST ELEMENT DISCOVERED The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists in the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory materials sciences group. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Aministratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than one second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neurtons echange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, larg corporations and universities, and can usually be found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings. Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible dammage, but results, to date, are not promising. -=[*]=- This article is reprented from a fictitious article by a fictitious source and is reprinted here for amusment purposes only. It is copied without the consent of the original author as the original author is unknown. Any attempt to reproduce this document without expressed written consent from the Pope and former British Prime Minister M. Thatcher is permitted by lawyers, guns and money. Do not fold, spindle, mold or mutilate...please.


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