Q: How many people in ST:TNG does it take to screw a lightbulb? A: Nine. A light blub out

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Q: How many people in ST:TNG does it take to screw a lightbulb? A: Nine. A light blub out on the bridge.... RIKER: "Geordi! What the hell is going on?!?" PICARD: "Someone remove the lightbulb. Conference!" In the Conference room: TROI: (Putting her hand on the dead bulb.) "I feel...pain." WORF: "The bulb is useless now, Captain. Let me dispose of it." (Unholsters phaser and adjusts it to "OBLITERATE" setting.) DATA: (Thinking about what Worf said:) "Captain, if I were to become non-functional like this bulb, would I receive a regular burial or would I be disposed of like..." PICARD: "Shut up, Data. Hold your fire, Mr. Worf. Where is Mr. LaForge?" GEORDI: (Stepping into the room.) "Here, Captain. I'm afraid we're out of light bulbs. Who needs light anyway? With my VISOR, I can clearly see despite the absence of visible light." BEVERLY: "I can surgically remove everyone's eyes and outfit us all with VISORS...." WESLEY: "No way, Mom. Wait! I got it! I'll build us a positronic kreiger-wave-condensing incandescent light generator!" RIKER: "Excellent, Wes. By the way, what the hell are you doing in this meeting? This is for senior officers only! Worf, put Ensign Crusher in the brig!" WORF: (To Wesley, grinning.) "You will walk or I will carry you!" BEVERLY: "You're not touching my son!" Everyone lurches. Outside, two Borg ships begin attacking the ENTERPRISE. Everyone rushes to the bridge. Q suddenly appears on the bridge in a flash of light. PICARD: "Q! End this!" Q: "Temper temper, mon capitan. Can't you humans take a joke?" (Snaps fingers--Borg ships disappear.) PICARD: "I didn't mean the Borg ships--I meant the light bulb!" Q: "Oh. Sorry." (Snaps fingers again--bulb is restored.) "Until next time!" (Flash of light--Q disappears.) PICARD: (Hands restored bulb to Wesley.) "Mr. Crusher. Prepare to screw light bulb." WESLEY: "Aye, Captain." (Holds bulb in position over bulb socket.) PICARD: "Engage!"

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