From braintree!news.sprintlink.net!simtel!harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au!news.rmit.EDU.AU!matilda.vut.edu.au!cougar.vut.edu.au!cougar.vut.edu.au!not-for-mail Tue Oct 24 12:47:51 1995
From: email@example.com (David Gerard)
Subject: Xenu The Magazine: Mon 23/10 7pm update
Date: 23 Oct 1995 18:45:38 +1000
Organization: Prestige Elite(tm) Research Church of the SubGenius
Keywords: Scamizdat Unixer Nobody@replay.com Fishman Lerma Leiby Erlich Klemesrud Vega Atack Kim Baker Berry Leipold Young Ward Armstrong Jacobson Greene Whitfield Behar Kisser Can/Cult Awareness Network Lawley Rogue Agent Capricorn Ray Russ/Pruss Damon Chetson Coates Abrahms Caberta Carto Cochran Swearinger O'Reilly Thetans OT Hubbard
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
First off, I gotta say: I *love* you guys. Each and every one of you.
I yell "Lawyer's letter -- HALP!!!", and what do I get ... sixteen
e-mail replies within three days of doing so. And not just "go get 'em!"
moral support messages (tho' those too -- and I love you too) ... but
actual *solid backup information* of *use*. Every one of 'em. There
are a *lot* of people becoming informed and knowledgeable critics.
This is the Best Newsgroup Ever. *sniff*
The Internet, and particularly a.r.s, is the worst thing ever to happen
to the Church of Scientology. Why? Because for the first time in the
forty-five year history of Dianetics and Scientology, *all* the Church
critics the *world* over can gather and swap notes. I can spend the
twelve hours after the lawyer's letter doing my *own* research on Web
pages (and get about two hundred pages of relevant printouts).
And electronic documents aren't usable legally, but they provide all
the pointer to court-certified paper I could ever need.
(Xenu The Magazine has proven very popular. Unusually popular. So
popular, in fact, that a whole bundle of copies disappeared overnight
in one spot ... and the popularity was underlined by the fact that
not only did the magazines disappear, but so did the signs advertising
them. Hmmmm ...)
I spent Friday and Monday on the phone to the lawyer, frantically
negotiating something amenable. Since the other editors' collective
opinion was "just print the reply ... maybe it'll have as many typos
as the September 9th leaflet", they and I recommended this to the
publisher, who concurred.
Also, since two of the other papers involved had both decided to just
print an apology or reply ('cos they couldn't be bothered), it wouldn't
make a lot of difference really.
So, their reply is going in. No problem.
The VUT lawyer said that provable truth would get us a win for sure, but
even he said it basically wasn't worth the trouble unless the reply was
something that really got stuck into an Australian citizen or resident
(Off-the-record negotiating with lawyers is how libel cases are *really*
resolved in Australia. Only a very small number ever make it to court.)
Called the lawyer this afternoon, a CoS rep (name unknown) came over with
the disk and a printout. (See separate post for their reply article.)
I've just subbed and formatted the reply, and it's going in this edition
(due at printer tomorrow morning).
My main worry with the reply was not the idea of them getting a reply,
but that it would be in the style of the 9/9 leaflet or 'Freedom' or
something -- i.e., a pile of the usual DA. Which would leave us possibly
open to trouble with whoever they were to DA; exchanging one lawsuit for
ten. However, this hasn't been a problem; the reply doesn't suck anywhere
near as much as I thought it would.
The visitor was a very interesting fellow. Apparently (I got this second-
hand, and you're getting it third-hand), he claimed to be from Sydney.
Name was Michael something. (ARSCC Australia, any clues on this?)
He came in w/ disk and printout and was *very* keen to see *me personally*.
Was being slimily nice and trying to chat to everyone in the office. "Oh,
David works in here ... does he normally work over *here*? *Here*? Does he
stay overnight?" etcetera, etcetera. (*You* try asking questions like that
while being slimily nice. Hard, isn't it?) "Does he have a home phone
number?" (looks over at phone-number list on wall, sees that I don't)
"What's he studying? Is he studying *psychology*?" (Yes, that's right
Michael, it's a Great Big Psych's Conspiracy.) "What's his actual job
here?" (To enturbulate and suppress. Bwahahahahaha!)
Eventually he left, after something like two hours waiting for me. Dunno
what he expected to accomplish. Physical intimidation? Kill me with a
Postscript: I just called my old house. The new resident is also
called David. Apparently, someone called last night at 11:30 and the
resident who took the call was so pissed off at being called so late
she screamed at him "no, David isn't fucking home, fuck off" and hung
up. I wouldn't comment except the person's name was Michael and he was
from Sydney, or so he said to her; and I've warned them all about the
CoS and they have some idea what to look out for.
So would the Sydney office actually *bother* sending someone down to
Melbourne especially to deal with me?
The Church will be happy to know that further CoS stuff is unlikely in
(1) we get relevant letters from readers after your article (yes, we
will get comment from you);
(2) a lawsuit proceeds;
(3) you keep bothering me in the real world (see 2), which includes
bothering people I know (see above).
I will, of course, continue to be a critic here. And if anyone gives
me a suitable platform in print, expect me to go for it.
My .signature has been updated too; the possible SP 5 has been taken off,
and the SP 4 rating has four goddamn Clam Clusters thereon. I'm still
waiting to hear from the VUT lawyers about the legal papers received
from America a few weeks ago. (And yes, I'll be letting Henry Bartnik
at CoS Sydney know, as I said I would.) This is not atypical of VUT
bureaucracy. This place is unbelievable. But, I'll leave the tentative
SP 5 until such time as it looks a little more real.
There is now a kNIGHT OF henry tag in there, and note that I'm going to
bother some time soon to install that amazing and evil a.r.s sEkRiT
dEcOdEr tOoL, the RPG Encryption and Signing Program. Woo hoo! Woo hoo!
Remember: RPG is ONE LETTER BETTER than RPF. And RPG's RPG is a *remarkably*
pleasant place. You get fed properly there. And you can sleep a lot.
Also, thanks to Hillel for the new .sig quote.
Reverend Doctor David Gerard, KoX, SP 4.04, kOh, RPG-to-be
Prestige Elite(tm) Research Church of the SubGenius
"Servicing the Prestige Elite(tm) since 1985!"
"What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself." -- Abraham Lincoln
Please email ALL followups (crappy and thoroughly dysfunctional newsfeed).
Personal visits from Scientologists will be greeted with extreme hostility
and the vigilant attention of VUT Security, but personal physical violence
*only* when appropriate, legal and called-for.
firstname.lastname@example.org (preferred); email@example.com
July 5, 1998, 7 AM. Saucers. End of the world. Your US$30 is your trip ticket.