From braintree!news.sprintlink.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!chi-news.cic.net!simtel!harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au!news.rmit.EDU.AU!matilda.vut.edu.au!cougar.vut.edu.au!cougar.vut.edu.au!not-for-mail Tue Oct 10 10:04:48 1995
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (David Gerard)
Subject: Xenu The Magazine: Web page almost up
Date: 9 Oct 1995 20:06:25 +1000
Organization: Prestige Elite(tm) Research Church of the SubGenius
Keywords: Scamizdat Unixer Nobody@replay.com Fishman Lerma Leiby Erlich Klemesrud Vega Atack Kim Baker Berry Leipold Young Ward Armstrong Jacobson Greene Whitfield Behar Kisser Can/Cult Awareness Network Lawley Rogue Agent Capricorn Ray Russ/Pruss Damon Chetson Coates Abrahms Caberta Carto Cochran Swearinger O'Reilly Thetans OT Hubbard
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
OK. Want the magazine? Want the picture of Xenu Himself (feel free to make
T-shirts of it)? Want the article 'Revolt In The Stars', featuring the
story of Xenu and the Volcano, da Pope's Clam FAQ and a lot of plugs for
a.r.s and Ron Newman's Web page?
Well, it ain't finished yet. So boo hoo (tm).
The picture and article are NOT there yet. Repeat, they are NOT there yet.
But the URL they *will* be at is:
One article here includes my old home address (dammit!), so I'll have to
alert my old housemates concerning clam trouble. One is a lawyer, another
is a psychologist. It should be fun.
PAPER COPIES OF XENU:
Nothing in the paper copy will not be on the Web site, so you're not missing
anything except the fact of the physical item itself. It's a boring and
obnoxious Australian student paper. (See the Web site if you don't believe
me.) But I'm sure many will see it as a dandy souvenir of the War on the
Internet and Operation Foot Bullet.
So, in order to be fair, here's the deal:
1. IN AUSTRALIA:
You're lucky, 'cos I can send you a free copy at the paper's expense (part
of our mission, don't you know, to propagandise for student unionism in
Australia). E-mail me and you'll get one. No copy of your address will be
2. OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA:
a. SP-5 or above (actual lawsuit or harassment from the Crutch):
You're lucky too, 'cos you can have a freebie as well. Howzabout that!
b. SP-4 or below:
Sorry, there's too many of you. Since I'll be paying the postage on this
hot little item, you'll have to pay it -- US$2/GBpound 1/Aus$3 cash (I have
no use for personal cheques, and conversion will cost twice the value of the
cheque). E-MAIL ME YOUR INTEREST IN OBTAINING A COPY and I'll let you know
if I'll have enough.
c. On my Lucky Personal List:
A few of you know you're getting freebies anyway, 'cos I'm such a nice guy
to a very few people. You have been or will be notified.
Please note that I do NOT have PGP. Your address is NOT secure. DO NOT send
an address that isn't a safe maildrop. I will be trashing every address ASAP,
but e-mail is inherently insecure. * * B E W A R E * *.
Apparently, the clams do indeed want to talk to *me* now. Jolly nice.
Reverend Doctor David Gerard, KoX, SP 4.03 (awaiting verification of SP 5)
Prestige Elite(tm) Research Church of the SubGenius
"Servicing the Prestige Elite(tm) since 1985!"
Scientologia delenda est.
Please email ALL followups (crappy and thoroughly dysfunctional newsfeed).
Personal visits from Scientologists will be greeted with extreme hostility
and the vigilant attention of VUT Security, but personal physical violence
*only* when appropriate, legal and called-for.
email@example.com (preferred); firstname.lastname@example.org
July 5, 1998, 7 AM. Saucers. End of the world. Your US$30 is your trip ticket.