From news.interserv.net!news.sprintlink.net!simtel!harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au!newshost.anu.edu.au!slipr2.anu.edu.au!Ashraf.Ghebranious Thu Aug 31 10:51:19 1995
From: Ashraf.Ghebranious@anu.edu.au (Ashraf Ghebranious)
Subject: Dont forget your suntan lotion!
Date: Thu, 31 Aug 1995 22:02:42 LOCAL
Organization: Australian National University
X-Newsreader: Trumpet for Windows [Version 1.0 Rev B final beta #4]
Howdy people. Well it is almost time to picket the cult again. I thought a few
timely reminders of what to expect from the culties would be important.
1) before you even start your protest, inform the police. Tell them
where and when you plan to protest. Ensure them that you will make sure that
traffic is not disturbed. If you get a bit of a crowd building, move over the
street if you have to.
2) comb your hair. Be prepared to be photograped anf filmed. Insist they give
you a copy as it makes a great xmas gift idea! If this bugs you, then bring
along your own video or camera. You can also point out to the public this
aspect of the 'church'
3) you will have more of an effect on the cult by aiming your protest at them.
Make your signs more cult aimed. Mention XENU or BODY THETANS. Have a couple
of soup cans on strings etc. Offer to give out FREE Personality tests.
Remember this will 'restimulate' the culties and some may get irate. Offer any
cultie in such a state a free audit and all over body tan. Tell them that they
can help the cultie get over their past life crimes.
4) Another good sign would be CULT SAYS NICOTINE NOT A DRUG! It would be fun
to see them explain that!
5) All the while you protest, members of the cult will approach feigning to be
members of the general public. These people tend to ask questions like 'Why
are you doing this?' or 'What is your name?' or the best yet, 'Who do you work
for?' Some culties are reported to be intellegent and may not give themselves
away for at least three questions!
6) Crowding. This is a favorite as well. Here they try to outnumber you and
walk around shouting you down. I found that this attract more people to take a
protest leaflet than if they had left me alone.
7) 'WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!' This is what I like to call the threat phase. The
culties who have managed to get you name have passed it on to the culties in
charge of looking up phone books. Then the culties in charge of reading read
out your address and a cultie in charge of writing attempts to remember which
end of the pencil to hold. Once that task is ratified, the cultie in charge
of delivering bits of paper takes it down to the cultie in charge of shouting.
He also gives a copy to the cultie in charge of sticking their nose in your
business and they both come downstairs and try to impress you with the
knowledge they have. Inform the culties that you already know who you are and
thank them for their consideration anyway.
8) Give the public an example of what the cult wants by silencing yourself.
Hold a minutes silence as an example of what the cult wants to see happen to
ALL it's critics. Hold them on the hour if you have to. Be flambouyant! Use
packing tape to seal your lips or have a gag ready.
Well, that is all for now. Remember, the family that protests the cult is more
likey to stay a family. Pack a picnic box and make a real fun day of it! And
for fellow aussies, dont forget the suntan lotion.
Disclaimer: My opinions are my own and not necessarily of my employer or my
"JESUS Woman!!! I dont give a FUCK!!!" Rhett Butler (slightly paraphrased)