From news.interserv.net!news.sprintlink.net!howland.reston.ans.net!EU.net!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Thu Aug 31 10:51:15 1995
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Andrew McPherson)
Organization: Anonymous forwarding service
Date: Wed, 30 Aug 1995 23:53:14 UTC
Subject: Hubbard was founder of U.S. Air Force
It has finally been leaked that L. Ron Hubbard founded the United States
Air Force! This is something all the history books missed so far and it
well behooves me to make this a public fact. I comes after intense study of
religious writings and speakings. On September 5, 1950 ElRon, the nuclear
physicist who admits in another religious speaking that he was in some part
responsible for the advent of the atom bomb, had this to say in his lecture
..... A friend of mine (a public-relations man from the Pacific
Northwest) and I .... decided the government was too calm. We decided we
would push a button and see what happened.
There was an outfit known as the Army Air Corps, and there was a lot
of pressure to make it into a separate department of air forces like
England had. We decided the air force needed an autonomous status. The
representative from Massachusetts had been talking about this as part of
his press campaign for some time.
We see that already back in 1941 all it took was "a decision" from ElRon so
that the world would never be the same again. And so we seem to owe it to
him and nobody else, that the U.S Air Force came into being. I hope he had
set up license agreements with Northrop and all the others to collect fees
for every fighter plane built ever after in the U.S. Let us continue in our
journey of exploration:
So here we were, a writer and a public-relations man. We walked into
the third floor of the government office building, and we had connections
but didn't want anything.
We pushed the button on Monday and the autonomous status of the United
States Air Force happened on Tuesday. We did it as a little experiment. We
didn't care whether the United States Air Force was flying helicopters or
I am amazed that the U.S. government is in one single building. This is
quite efficient indeed. I wonder what all the other buildings are for?
Also, it has been said that some unfortunate people dug holes with their
It was just a point that there was sentiment existing on some lines. All we
had to do was go down and write a bill requesting what we wanted. We merely
said, "Senater Flipsenbalm [an imaginary name of a senator invented by
ElRon at lecture time] just sent us down to write up these bills; he's
quite interested in it." As a matter of fact the senator had muttered
somethig like that the night before; it was rather indistinct because of
Scotch, but he had. We went over to the House of Representatives and wrote
a bill. Then we sent an alarm report that this bill was going through to
tear the air force away from the army and the navy and to set up a new
Now that sounds easy. Why don't some ars regulars fly to Washington and
start writing a new bill: "$cientology misuses the law. Therefor
$cientology's big bosses are outlaws. Management of $cientology is herewith
given into the hands of the a.r.s. executive committee" Please submit your
ayes and nayes! I wonder whether the senator mumbled something indistinct
or whether ElRon heard something indistinct. Who drank the Scotch?
So of course this just went along by word of mouth. It was wonderful!
Senator's office after senator's office was alerted by the army and the
navy, because the army and navy have patrons up on the Hill; they are not
orphans. Finally we had collected a long series of names of people who were
alarmed that this was going to happen. Then we told them something worse
was going to happen - the air force would be set up as an independant
department of defense. Then all we had to do was to tell the fellow who was
a press relations man for the secretary of war, "Look, boy! You'd better
get on the ball because this and this and this."
"Huh! I'll see the secretary immediately!"
Autonomous status for the United States Air Force was created. That is
how it happened.
END OF QUOTE
Now this tells me that no U.S. government can be trusted. Jimmy Carter
probably donated a few peanuts to the right people, Ronald Reagan mailed
video tapes of his past acting career - is that how these men became
presidents? What if after escaping from his electronic cage Xenu goes to
Washington? Are there any plans to move tha capital to Vegas? Decisions are
made at the black jack table? Milne to run the CIA?
Who will do the investigation and find out how the Air Force really came
into being? BTW, June 21, 1941, the day the Air Force supplanted the Army
Air Forces was a Saturday if I am not mistaken. what did ElRon do on
Monday? Did it really take him FIVE full days to create the Air Force? -
Well, he probably was still practising his Oat Tea abilities.
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