Since some of the materials which describe the $cientology cult could be considered to be

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Skeptic Tank!

Since some of the materials which describe the $cientology cult could be considered to be copywritten materials, I have censored myself and The Skeptic Tank by deleting any and all possible text files which describes the cult's hidden mythologies. I have elected to quote just a bit of the questionable text according to the "Fair Use" legal findings afforded to those who report. - Fredric L. Rice, The Skeptic Tank, 09/Sep/95 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From news.interserv.net!news.sprintlink.net!dish.news.pipex.net!pipex!demon!not-for-mail Mon Jul 10 17:00:51 1995 Path: news.interserv.net!news.sprintlink.net!dish.news.pipex.net!pipex!demon!not-for-mail From: stark@prostar.com Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Subject: A new Scientology song Date: Thu, 6 Jul 95 19:21:16 PDT Organization: ProStar Internet Gateway Lines: 58 Message-ID: <9507070420.aa19303@dispatch.demon.co.uk> Reply-To: stark@prostar.com X-NNTP-Posting-Host: smtp.prostar.com X-Mailer: TSX-BBS A few months ago, someone posted the following (I'm quoting it as best I remember) Diiiiiiiiiiiiianetics Where the wind goes whooshing through your brain! It'll sure be neat When that piece of meat Is rid of every ache and paaaaiiiiin! Which has inspired me to write another fine Scientology song, this one to the tune of "Everything's up to date in Kansas City", from the musical Oklahoma. I went into the org on a Friday By Saturday I'd learned a thing or two Cause up to then I didn't have an idea Of what the modern world was coming to I saw some people screaming at ashtrays And some who sat and stared for hours on end Then they all applauded to a dead man's photograph And said "L. Ron Hubbard is man's best friend!" Everything's up to date in Scientology They've gone about as far as they can go They've got their own dictator who's barely 5 feet tall About as high as a dictator ought to grow! Everything's like a dream in Scientology Better than science fiction, don't you know They've even got an e-meter past lives machine For 300 an hour you can see a dandy show! Once I saw an emperor named Xenu Who threw me right into a volcano "Your needle is floating!", said the auditor with zeal It seemed so scientific, and the meter made me feel That everything I fantasized was absolutely real! They've gone about as far as they can go, yes sir! They've gone about as far as they can go. Everything's up to date in Scientology They've gone about as far as they can go They've got a concentration camp they call the RPF They'll lock you in if you should try to blow! You'll run around a pole all day in scorching summer heat Or just run everywhere you go with blisters on your feet And wearing filthy rags your degredation is complete! They've gone about as far as they can go, They've gone about as far as they can go! Stark (btw, thanks to Chris Schafmeister for the phrase "past lives machine")

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