This article is excerpted from the Rocky Mountain Pagan Journal.
Each issue of the Rocky Mountain Pagan Journal is published by
High Plains Arts and Sciences; P.O. Box 620604, Littleton Co.,
80123, a Colorado Non-Profit Corporation, under a Public Domain
Copyright, which entitles any person or group of persons to
reproduce, in any form whatsoever, any material contained therein
without restriction, so long as articles are not condensed or
abbreviated in any fashion, and credit is given the original
IN GRANDMOTHER'S LAP
Now you're working and studying very hard, and you don't
seem to have anyone you can share insights with, ask "silly"
questions of, or meet fellow strugglers through-and you're
starting to feel desperate. In short, you want/need a teacher.
You know no one, and don't know how to start, or you know
everyone and don't know how to choose, or you don't even know
what you want and feel "silly" trying to get help to figure it
Get Grandmother to help. If you know nobody and don't know
how to get connected, you can:
1. Write RMPJ and ask for help.
2. Hang around occult book shops and ask for help.
3. Try to find your local network.
4. Work mail-order.
or, 5. Do a daily affirmation: "I open myself to encounter the
best possible teacher for me at this time, knowing I will
recognize this person, and that our work together will be of
mutual benefit and do no harm. It is accomplished (or Amen,
Selah, So mote it be, So it is now ...whatever.)" If you choose
5., put your books, notebooks, and mind in order and start doing
all the others at the same time (except maybe mail-order? ...up
Recognition just means being aware-you can walk past your
best friend without seeing them if your mind's elsewhere. You
will "feel drawn to" one or more of the 0 to 20 potential
teachers you encounter. Go to that one or ones. If they mess up
in bad moods, can't get started without coffee, need fourteen
pairs of shoes to feel secure-ignore it. You want to be close to
what is best and most highly evolved in them, not what's least.
However, if they cheat in financial, sexual or competitive areas
and gloat about it, perhaps their ethics are not ideal for you to
imitate-you may wish to look a little longer.
Once you know who, even if you don't know what yet, the
question is, how? Well, don't call at 2:30 AM and burst into
tears, unless that's the only approach you can possibly manage.
But remember, when you ask someone to work with you , you are
saying, "I perceive you as special, further along the path than
I. I want what you have because I find you admirable." Do you
really expect a nasty rejection from somebody you've flattered
like that? Really, really?
Here is how you do it. You bump into them, or call and ask
if you may arrange to talk with them privately with them at some
point, or have them to dinner and take them downstairs to see the
Van Gogh. But try to get them alone, relaxed, and away from
potential interruptions. Tell them you've been reading and
working, and feel you'd like some support and guidance. Say
"Would you be willing to teach me? I'm not sure what that would
work out to, but I know I need some more structure, and I admire
your __________ (calm, poise, warmth, radiance, knowledge,
authority-just don't say sex appeal or money)." If they say no,
for any reason, tell them you're disappointed but accept their
decision, and can they give you any referrals? If it's no again,
ideas? If still no, think of the valuable experience you've
had-you'll find the next approach easier.
Even if the first person you try says "No, you'll never make
it and forget it," keep trying. Opinions differ. Great people
have ghastly days, and they don't always show. Some advocate
saying no, repeatedly just to test the would be student's
resolve. If you want to really store up credit on your karma,
ask if they can see any way you could work to overcome the
problems they've so kindly pointed out to you.
Be patient, keep working on it, keep studying on your own,
and "When the pupil is ready the guru will appear."
There will be no signature to this, I'd rather you thought
about it without any contamination resulting from my identity. I
do have some credentials, but so what? You do, too you are
alive. Try to get any questions, suggestions, concerns, or great
discoveries to me by the first of the month preceding publication
(so I can answer them in the next issue) by sending them to
Grandmother's Lap c/o RMPJ. If nothing comes in, I may ramble on
anyway-or I may not.
Blessed Be, The Spinster Aunt
........from R.M.P.J. 8/86