THAT REAL OLD TIME RELIGION THE ENTIRELY ARBITRARY CATEGORIES OF THE VERSES AGNOSTICS AND

---
Master Index Current Directory Index Go to SkepticTank Go to Human Rights activist Keith Henson Go to Scientology cult

Skeptic Tank!

*************************** THAT REAL OLD TIME RELIGION *************************** THE ENTIRELY ARBITRARY CATEGORIES OF THE VERSES AGNOSTICS AND ATHEISTS...............................Pg. ASATRU AND ODINISM:..................................Pg. BRUJA:...............................................Pg. BUDDHISM:............................................Pg. CARGO CULT:..........................................Pg. CHRISTIAN:...........................................Pg. CLASSICAL PAGANISM:..................................Pg. COMMUNISIM...........................................Pg. CONFUCIANISM.........................................Pg. CTHULHU: (a fictional deity, but well-known).........Pg. (THE ALMIGHTY) DOLLAR................................Pg. DAO..................................................Pg. DISCORDIANISM:.......................................Pg. DRUIDS AND FAERIE:...................................Pg. EGYPTIAN:............................................Pg. FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS AMD HEROES:...................Pg. HINDU:...............................................Pg. ISLAMIC:.............................................Pg. JEWISH:..............................................Pg. KAHBAHLA:............................................Pg. KRISHNA:.............................................Pg. MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN:................................Pg. MITHRAISM:...........................................Pg. MOONIES:.............................................Pg. MORMONS (LDS):.......................................Pg. NEW AGE:.............................................Pg. NEW WORLD PAGAN:.....................................Pg. NORTHERN EUROPEAN (GENERAL)..........................Pg. SATANISM:............................................Pg. SCIENTOLOGY:.........................................Pg. SHINTO:..............................................Pg. THELEMA:.............................................Pg. VOODOO:..............................................Pg. WICCA AND GENERAL NEO-PAGAN:.........................Pg. ZARATHUSTRIAN:.......................................Pg. UNCLASSIFIABLE VERSES AND UNKNOWN GHODS:.............Pg. THE OBLIGATORY LAST VERSE:...........................Pg. THE FINAL WORD:......................................Pg. * collected by Joe Bethancourt PO Box 35190 Phoenix Az 85069 The religious opinions expressed in some of the verses are not necessarily the opinions of Joe Bethancourt, his dog, wife, kids, family or friends. Joe's cat thinks the whole thing is stupid, and the ferrets don't care. * THE ORIGINS OF "REAL OTR" John Boardman, the East Coast collector of this song, says in _ANAKREON_ #8 (1 Nov., 1980): "So far, two different stories have come in of how "That Real Old Time Religion" originated. Robin R. Arnhold writes that "Lady Cybele" started it a decade or more ago, and says that (five of the early verses) are of her composition, with a chorus of "Give Me That Old Craft Religion." 'The first exposure to people other than Madison-area pagans came when Lady Cybele sang some of her songs in informal sessions at the Gnostica festivals in the early 1970's.' " "But Allison Harlow claims that 'Victor Anderson, the blind shaman of San Leandro...first began singing these verses; we taught the idea to NROOGD and _Nemeton_, whence it caught on in the Mid-West...and finally reached the East Coast.'" John writes further in _ANAKREON_ #12 (1 Nov. 1981): "Rus (Gulevitch) has a resolution of the situation presented in _ANAKREON_ #8, in which two different stories of the origin of "That Real Old Time Religion" were presented:" " 'I've heard about Cybele being the originator of OTR, too,' he wrote, 'But I also heard that several covens (who had no contact with each other) got the sdame idea at different times, and Cybele is but the one who first made it more or less public. Such things happen often enough.' " To which I (Joe Bethancourt) can only add that I heard it in the early 1970's from Caradoc, who was associated with Victor Anderson and Gwydion in the Faerie Trad., and have been collecting it ever since. ---------------------------------------------------------------- A PARTIAL LIST OF CONTRIBUTORS These verses were written by: Peter Seeger, "J. Random Folksinger," Dave Aronson, "Puck," Abby, Cheryl Lloyd, Digger McGilp, Fred Kuhn, Gianni Siri, Haragano, "Hugo t. Bear," John Hedtke, Mark Blackman, Promethean Coven, Rus Gulevitch, Astryd, Steve Jackson, Al Frank, Corrina Frank, Anne Friend, Joe Bethancourt, Margot Adler, John Boardman, Poul Anderson, Diane Crockett, Doug Rice, Earil, Eric Raymond, Elfwork, Fred Kuhn, Rowanhold Bardic Circle, Gabriel, Gwetholyn from Rhode Island, Gregg Palmer, Geneva Steinberg, Florence P., Glen R. Taylor, John Desmond, Leonard Lake, Mark Blackman, Alice Rhodes, the Dark Horde, Beth of Demeter's Beehive, Blackthorn, Kram, Lyra, Lucina, Mark Blackman, Heather, Harold Groot, Janice Gelb, Judson Horning, Jean Michele Martin, Sabina, Blue Star Grove, Ardjukk Afraid-Of-His-Cats, Catbad, Russ Williams, Brian Burley, Dana Snow, Dave Schwartz, Greg Costikyan, Glen R. Taylor, Ravan Fairgrove, Lady Cybele, Dragomyr the Cossack, Torve, Terri Dorrosch, Tracy Holland, Vanthi Coven, Prudence Priest, Robin R. Arnhold, Allison Harlow, Cemoc Gilcrom, Catherine Olanich, Lady Cybele, Eric Raymond, Michael from the Bronx, Michele Cox, Murray Porath, Mack Pitchford, Mad Richard, Brother Radamus, Ron Parshley, Roz, Rick Detar, Skia, the nut-cases on the FIDO Net "Filk" SIG, and the usual "Traditional" or "Anonymous" which is a good way of keeping Angry Villagers armed with rakes, sythes, pitchforks, torches and dental tools away from your door. And probably several more people but I dunno who they are. And they probably won't admit to it. I have categorized the verses as best that I and a roomful of references could do. If I have anything placed wrongly, let me know. * THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION tune: "Old Time Religion" (Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X) It's good enough for me! AGNOSTICS AND ATHEISTS Lots of folks are into God Let us praise God for creation And I've often thought it odd And he made more than one nation Do they love Him for His bod'? Let's give Him a big ovation, Or is it ideology? And then tell Him "Let us be!" I don't care about Jehover It's the Fundie Right's solution Soon his office term is over To put Christian absolution I would sooner worship Rover In the U.S. Constitution 'Cause he's good enough for me! And that don't sit well with me! I won't go into no temple I shall stay a firm agnostic Not for Graham nor Miss Semple I can't do a double-crostic No, not even for a "semple" I'm a fan of Barry Bostwick It ain't good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! If you think religion's awful But the True Religion's Science And you've really had your craw full Where we place our great reliance Just be sure your acts are lawful 'Cause it's laws don't take defiance Or they'll -all- be after thee! So it's good enough for me! We will go and worship Jesus We give thanks to Jerry Falwell Yes we will, when Hades freezes If his Crusade we can't stall, well, He is full of guilt and fleases Ship him one-way to Rabaul - well! Which ain't good enough for me! that's not far enough for me! Are you waiting for the Rapture? Whene'er I hear Jerry Falwell Superstition's got you captured! Quite soon I don't feel at all well You believe a lot of crap, sure Throw him down a sacrificial well Isn't good enough for me! That'll be good enough for me! There are those who worship no gods Madelyn Murray O'Hare hollers For they think that there are low odds Let's get God from off our dollars That the god-seers aren't drunk sods God is something I can't swaller And they're good enough for me! 'Cause he's got more balls than me! There are those that sing out "Amen!" Are you waiting for the Rapture? To a bastard Jewish shaman Go on, wait, and see if I care! You know who, so I won't name him I'll go off and take a nap, sure But it's good enough for me! Isn't good enough for me! Call Him God, or call him Allah The priest will take your dollah Easy living from -your- follah- -wers, but sorry, -not- from me! AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST CHORUS: Gimme NO kind-a religion Gimme NO kind-a religion Gimme NO kind-a religion It simply ain't for me! ASATRU AND ODINISM: I hear Valkyries a-comin One-eyed Odin we will follow In the air their song is comin And in fighting we will wallow They forgot the words! They're hummin! Till we wind up in Valhallow But they're good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! We will drive up to Valhalla It was good enough for Odin Riding Beetles, not Impalas Though the tremblin' got forbodin' Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles" Then the giants finally strode in, And that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! It was good enough for Loki Shall we sing a verse for Thor, It was good enough for Loki Though he leaves the maidens sore? He thinks Thor's a little hokey They always come back for more, And that's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me! Shall we sing in praise of Loki, It was good for Thor and Odin Though he left poor Midgard smokey? It was good for Thor and Odin Oh, his sense of humor's hokey, Grab an axe and get your woad on! But he's good enough for me! and it's good enough for me! All the Gods tore into Loki We will worship now with vigor Saying Deicide is hokey! The goddess known as Frigga And they threw him in the pokey! Tho there are some who don't dig her And that's good enough for me! She is good enough for me! Good old Thor's the god of thunder If you wanna worship Odin Really helps us get our plunder You don't have to have a coat on Tho his head's still truly dunder Grab a sword and slap some woad on He is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! In the halls of Frey and Freya We will sing a verse for Loki All the priestesses will lay ya He's the old Norse god of Chaos If you're good enough, they'll pay ya! Which is why this verse don't And that's good enough for me! rhyme or scan or nothin' But it's good enough for me... Odin is a mighty thinker Give a hand to darlin' Freya And he is a heavy drinker There's no need to ask her "May ya?" With the girls he likes to tinker For a necklace she will lay ya! So he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will go and worship Loki We will go to Utgard Castle He will tell a dirty jokie We'll watch Thor and Elli wrassle And get locked up in the pokey Thor will have a lot of hassle But that's good enough for me! But he's god enough for me! We will go and worship Frigga It was good enough for Thor 'n' And the men will be much bigga I can hear the thunder roarin' And they won't have a hair-trigga Or maybe it's his snorin'! And that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Do you know what brought Balder low We will all go worship Hoenir His Achillies heel, mistletoe Who has ears that hear by sonar His systems are no longer "Go" And a most impressive boner! But he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will raise our cups to Bragi It was good enough for Loki And we'll drink until we're groggy Whose humor was okey-dokey And the pretzels get all soggy He'd laugh and take a tokey But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will ask a boon of Mimir We will walk upon ol' Bifrost With the Northern Lights a-glimmer Tell ol' Heimdall that we're not lost I would not mind being slimmer Ask Odin what the runes cost Which is good enough for me! And hit Loki with a pie! BRUJA: Let us sing for Brujaria We will watch a Bruja giggle Though the blood's a lot less cleaner; At a novice witch's wiggle It's not Christian Santaria For you see, a Bruja's giggle So it's good enough for me! Is a Brou-ha-ha to me! BUDDHISM: We will all go to Nirvana Oh we all will follow Buddah So be sure to mind your manners Oh we all will follow Buddah Make a left turn at Savannah And we'll eat no food but Gouda And we'll see the Promised Land! Which is Gouda-nuff for me! It was good enough for Buddha, We will go and sing "Hosanna" As a god he's kinda cute-a, To our good ol' pal, Gautama, And he comes in brass or pewta' He will never flim or flam ya', So he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! No one wrote a verse for Buddah We will all go to Nirvana Tho I think they really coulda We will all go to Nirvana And I really think they shoulda Make a left turn at Urbana 'Cause he's good enough for me! And you'll see the Promised Land! We will all follow Buddah We will venerate the Buddah He's one really serene dude-a Comes in silver, brass and pewta' But you have to beg for food-a He ain't quite the Lion of Judah And that's good enough for me! But he's good enough for me! We will sing for Yama-Dharma Maybe I should try ol' Buddah At our revels on the farm-a We can share a little Gouda Though it messes up our karma I hope he won't think it rude-a It's good enough for me! Me to say he's not for me! I am darn confused by Zen Clap one hand if you love the Buddha It seems way beyond my ken It will put ya in the mood ta Could you say it all again Set off for Nirvana Somewhat clearer so I'll see? And that's good enough for me! CARGO CULT & PACIFIC ISLANDS: To the tune of Handel's "Largo" If you get too tired We will hymn the gods of Cargo And you need to get up higher 'Til they slap on an embargo Just have Pele light your fire! And that's good enough for me! From her island in the sea! You can keep your saints with halos, It was good enough for Maui Your incense, hymns and aloes: And for his communion chow he Let's throw virgins in volcanos! Served up poi and long pig - Wowee! And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will go and worship Maui We will watch the hula dancers With that Polynesian zowie Topless Polynesian prancers And he'll give us Maui Wowee! And we'll get pagan romance, sir And that's stoned enough for me! And go to Easter Island, free! CHRISTIAN: We will worship with the Fundies Say the Baptists, "We're the only With their itchy hair-shirt undies We're the one church that's not phony If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy," If you give us all your money Then it's good enough for me! Then to Heaven you shall go! It was good for old Jehovah Let's all listen up to Jesus He had a son who was a nova! He says rich folks like old Croesus Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'! Will be damned until Hell freezes Another resurrection Day! And that don't sound good to me! Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed Oh we'll all be Fundamental In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed And be Holy Testamental And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed And never Trancendental But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Tho J.C.'s into fish, too, Anytime that I start hearin' He's an avatar of Vishnu "Jesus loves you" I start leerin' So he is welcome here, too, Maybe so, but not like Brian And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! Brother Jerry is a cretin Brother Oral's in his tower, But with all the cash he's gettin' Trusting in the Lord's power Lotsa folks'll be forgettin Getting richer by the hour, It's the "Land of the Free!" Now he's got the ransom fee! Brother Robert's church is Crystal Brother Earnest is a healer But all the Bible that he's missed'll And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer -- Make you "hotter than a pistol" More a jumper and a squealer But he's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me! Brother Jim and Sister Tammy Then there's good ol' Brother Billy Had a show that was a whammy Bringing souls in willy-nilly. But now they are in Miami All his trips are kinda silly, Tryin' t'get back on TV! But he's good enough for me! That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers We will finally pray to Jesus Fighting demons in his callers From our sins we hope he frees us Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS! Eternal life he guarantees us And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! You could join Jehovah's Witness And let's not forget Pelagius Running door to door for fitness Though some call him outrageous Well if you've been blessed with quickness, He is pious and courageous Then thats good enough for me And he's good enough for me! Oh the Christians worship Jesus Oh my name is Torquemada But their sermons sure don't please us I burn Lutherans in Grenada It's a Sin each time ya sneezes It's all for the Holy Fadda That ain't good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! We will worship Christian Jesus It was down in Waco, Texas And do just like John Paul pleases When they came to arrest us That we will... when Hades freezes! We needed britches of asbestos And that's good enough for me! That was hot enough for me! It was good for Oral Roberts We will witness for Jehovah It was good for Oral Roberts Sell "Watchtower" ten times over Not so good for elves and hobbits But it ain't no bed of clover And it's good enough for me! So I'm sorry; not for me! Whether Low Church or it's High Church And the Romans said of Jesus Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church "Lets kill him, he don't please us" Come on down and visit my Church "But the Atheists will tease us" 'Cause it's good enough for me! And thats good enough for me Well you can worship Jesus It's no good for Billy Graham Go ahead and pray to Jesus 'Cause he just won't give a damn But I tell you, he don't please us 'Cause he's too much of a ham Just leave my Gods to me! But it's good enough for me! Others followed Rev. Jim Jones Oh the Christian sects they will clutch In Guyana they found their bones At their dogmatic hate-crutch Kool-Aid mixed with cyanide stones! I'm afraid that is just too much That ain't good enough for me! Sects and violence for me! CLASSICAL PAGANISM: We will go to worship Zeus You can dance and wave the thyrsos Though his morals are quite loose And sing lots of rowdy verses He gave Leda quite a goose Till the neighbors holler curses, And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will pray to Father Zeus We will sing for great Diana In his temple we'll hang loose Who will teach of love and honor Eating roast beef au jus, But you really gotta wanna! And that's good enough for me! 'Cause she's tough enough for me! Shall we sing a verse for Venus, We went off to worship Venus Of the Gods she is the meanest, By the Gods! You should have seen us! Cause she bit me on my...elbow! Now the Clinic has to screen us... And it's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me! We will venerate old Bacchus It was good enough for Sappho Drinking beer and eating tacos With her lady on her lap-o Til you've tried it please don't knock us She put Lesbos on the map-o 'Cause it's good enough for me! With her pagan poetry! Let us raise a toast to Bacchus, When we worship Bacchus We will raise a royal ruckus, The ethanol will sock us Then we'll lay us down and f**k us We'll all get good and raucous That's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Diana is a little spikey We'll sing praises to Apollo; And she is a little dyke-ey Where the Sun God leads we'll follow You don't have to be a Psych-e ('Though his head's a little hollow) To know that's right for me! He's good enough for me! We will worship with Poseidon Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus' We will meet him when the tide's in Tho he's lost his vital juices All the maidens he will ride in The old boy still has his uses Then he'll give 'em all to me! And he's good enough for me! All the hunters start convergin' We will all bow to Hephaestus When Diana is emergin' As a blacksmith he will test us It's too bad she's still a virgin 'Cause his balls are pure asbestos But there's still hope left for me! So he's good enough for me! And what about this Bacchus, There is room enough in Hades Who lives just to raise a ruckus? For lots of criminals and shadies Loosens women so they'll f**k us, And disreputable ladies, Well, that's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me! We will all see Aphrodite And to help things get real racous Though she's pretty wild and flighty The priests of Pan and Bacchus She will meet us in her nightie Will hold a f***ing contest! And she's good enough for me! And that's all right with me! Oh we will go and worship Pan, Bumper stickers of all sizes 'Cause he just don't give a damn! At quite reasonable prices Grab a woman or a man, They say 'ankh' if you love Isis And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Was a time, so I've heard tell, a We all worshipped Dionysus Fine and promising young fella 'Till we ran into a crisis: Gave his all to serve Cybele The bar had raised its prices; But that's damn well not for me! That's not good enough for me! We'll sing praises to Apollo There's that lusty old Priapus Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow He's just itching to unwrap us. From Ionia to Gaul-o (He'd do more to us than tap us And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!) We will have a mighty Party Pan's pipes got plugged last summer In the honor of Astarte And it really was a bummer Grab your chiton - don't be tardy Finally had to call a plumber! 'Cause she's good enough for me! But he's good enough for me! In his dancing Pan will lead them Now Danae was sweet as flowers, When his pipes call we will heed them She was into golden showers; In truth tho, he don't need them And that showed her Zeus' power He's more than enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Venus We will sing our staves to Venus She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us We will sing our staves to Venus Letting morals come between us Tho I think this rhyme is henious And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! There's one thing that I do know Let us dance with Dionysus Zeus' favorite is Juno And get drunk on wine and spices She's the best at doing...you know! The Christians call them "vices" And that's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! It was good enough for Cupid We will venerate old Hermes It was good enough for Cupid With his staff entwined with wormies His wings look kind of stupid Warding off the nasty germies But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Let's all drink to Dionysus We will all bow down to Venus Wine and women beyond prices! As we dance upon Mt. Zenos He made a Maenad out of my Sis! We will worship with our....voice And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! There are those who, when they've got e- Normous problems that are knotty They just take them to Hecate We all worship Aphrodite, And that's good enough for me! And Her sister bold Astarte, They both throw a lovely party, In the church of Aphrodite And that's just fine with me! She's a mighty righteous sightie, The Priestess wears a see through nightie And she's good enough for me We remember Ariadne Tho they wrote "Star Spangled Banner" To whom Theseus was a cad, he On Anacreon's pinanner Split and left her feeling badly He has such a laid-back manner Good old Baccus set her free! That he's good enough for me! Anacreon's drinkin' hearty If you plan to court Medusa At a never-ending party At her place in Syracusa Charter member from the start, he's Take a mirror; what's the use-a Got the seat I'd like for me! Getting stoned before your spree? To Prometheus let us hark Aphrodite in her bower In bringing fire, he made his mark Calls her lovers by the hour Or we'd be dancing in the dark Joyful loving is her dower And that's not good enough for me! And she's good enough for me! Pan and all the satyrs prayed in If you have the itchy-squirmies Chorus when they saw a maiden Then you better pray to Hermes "What a great place to get laid in!" He will cure you of your germies And it's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me! We had better worship Neptune If you pray unto Uranus We had better worship Neptune Then your crime is truly henious If we don't we'll all be wet soon You can stick it in your...songbook And that's wet enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Let us all join with the Dryads A most vile persisten lecher Let us all join with the Dryads Scorned by one, set out to catch her Trees may not be quite the Triad When his magic couldn't fetch her But they're good enough for me! Poor Atlanta turned to me! It was good for Greek Apollo We will frolic with old Bacchus Though his act is hard to follow We don't care if some folks mock us Full of lyres I cannot swallow 'Cause his rites are rather raucous But it's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me! It was good for old Achilles We will even worship Hades Though death gave his Mom the willies Though he dwells among the shadies She Styx-dipped him by the heelies He still picks up pretty ladies And that's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me! We will worship Aphrodite In the Temple of Apollo We will worship Aphrodite All the laurel leaves we'll swallow 'Cause we've seen her in her nightie Then the colored trails will follow And that's good enough for me! And that's stoned enough for me! Let us never forget Puck We will worship old Apollo Leads us wand'ring thru the muck He's got others beat all hollow He don't give a flying f*** Let him lead and we will follow But he's Fool enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will worship old Poseidon We will run the Lupercalia And the dolphin he's a-ridin' With our leather paraphenalia Tho it has a scaly hide on Substitute for genitalia Still, that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! It was good for fair Apollo It was good for lovely Artemis For the Sun's rays he doth follow Who'd like to get to the heart of us He'll be back again tomorrow She's glad to be a part of us And that's good enough for me! And she's good enough for me! It was good enough for Hecate At Troy nobody was mean-a She's trying to make a witch of me That the Great Goddess Athena I wish I could choose which one of three Mopped them up with Ajax clean-a And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! If you're worshipping Athena It was good enough for Hades Then your morals must be clean-a Tho I'm glad he didn't make us And your brain a little keen-a At least, he won't try to save us And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We've neglected Father Zeus We will worship Queen Omphale Tho it seems a bit obtuse Who drove Heracles to folly We think more of Mother Goose For they dressed in drag, by golly! But he's good enough for me! I dunno if that's for me! We will all go worship Plutus Young Bacchus in the springtime And with riches he'll salute us Leads the dancers round the grapevine All that gold would surely suit us Soon those grapes are gonna be wine And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Demeter's bees within the hive Dionysius drank his wine down Hum with joy to be alive And the Bacchae stumbled all 'round Matriarchy is no jive And the pirate ship went aground And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will go and worship Juno In the temple which is Hebe's For there's one thing that we do know And constructed by the Sea-Bees She did not burn Brother Bruno She can cure the heebie-jeebies And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! We're not crazy over Aries We will go and worship Vesta For his men give us the scaries For her cooking is the best-a And they kill like Christ's and Mary's All the food at the fiesta Which ain't good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! I'll bow down and worship Ops 'Cause we think that she is tops Turns a lotta guys into Pops And she's good enough for me! COMMUNISIM Millions Marx and Lenin follow Some still worship Chairman Mao In the "Little Red Book" wallow But I'll bet that Deng Xiao - Their Party line I cannot swallow Ping will soon bring back the Dao There are better gods for me! And that's good enough for me! CONFUCIANISM Let us read works of Confucius We used to study old Confucius As we walk thru Massachusetts As we sat there on our tushes In white robes that freeze our tushes We're learning but don't push us But it's good enough for me! And thats good enough for me CTHULHU: We will worship mighty Cthulhu We will worship Great Cthulhu, H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo We will worship Great Cthulhu, (1930's fiction voodoo....) And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu But that's good enough for me! 'Cause that's good enough for me! Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu We will sacrifice to Yuggoth Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you We will sacrifice to Yuggoth Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth And that's good enough for me! And the Goat With a Thousand Young Of the Old Ones, none is vaster Well it's good enough for * Even Cthulhu's not his master He's a mighty kinky master I refer to the unspeakable * When you pray he goes much faster and that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! (* - well, do YOU want to say it?) And for those who follow Cthulhu Let's go worship Great Cthulhu, We have really got a lulu: And run naked like a Zulu, Drop a bomb on Honolulu! You and me and Mr. Sulu, 'Cause that's good enough for you! And that's good enough for me! We will worship Great Cthulhu We will worship Holy Cthulhu You and me and Mr. Sulu And we'll run around like Zulus Howling like a drunken Zulu Then we'll feed him Mr. Sulu, And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Cthulhu We will bow down to Cthulhu Who'd eat me and who'd eat you, too; We think he is quite a lulu If it's good enough for Cthulhu He's not good enough for Zulus Then it's good enough for me But he's good enough for me! DAO: All the Chinese pray to Yao Next to Yao, they worship Yu For he showed the farmers hao He built roads and bridges tu And there's bumper harvests nao And canals - there's quite a few - Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! DISCORDIANISM: Let us sing to old Discordia Of Great Murphy much is spoken Cause it's sure she's never bored ya For his Law shall not be broken And if she's good enough for ya It's not pretty when he's woken Then she's good enough for me! Things go wrong for you and me! If your rising sign is Aries If your god of choice is Squat You'll be taken by the Fairies Well then trendy, man, you're not! Meet the Buddah in Benares But you'll get a parking spot! where he'll hit you with a pie! And that's good enough for me! We will sing a verse for Eris Let us do our thing for Eris (Golden apples for the fairest!) Goddess of the discord there is Though she sometimes likes to scare us Apple's golden, it's not ferrous But she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Let us praise the Holy Fool And the brave Illuminatti For he's breaking all the rules Can hail Eris in a body Holds you up to ridicule, Tho we think they're rather dotty And that's good enough for me! They're good enough for me! There are those who worship Eris It was good enough for Eris There are those who worship Eris We'd love to have her near us If you're one of them, you scare us! Her apple is the fairest So keep away from me! And she's good enough for me! It was good for the goddess Eris We all know the goddess Eris Who in anger would not spare us She had an apple for the fairest Gave and apple for to snare us But we've got to learn to share, is And that's good enough for me! That good enough for you? We will praise the wily Trickster We will howl with ol' Coyote Who of talents is a mixture Pee on bushes, eat peyote And is famous as a prickster Then we'll roast ol' Mendes' Goatie And that's good enough for me! And that's wild enough for me! (THE ALMIGHTY) DOLLAR Oh, the dollar is our Saviour There are those who scream and holler If we spend Her or we save Her And get hot under the collar She controls all our behaviour For their god, Almighty Dollar, There's not enough for me! Who is good enough for me! DRUIDS AND FAERIE: We will worship like the Druids, In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome Drinking strange fermented fluids, But he's not at home too often Running naked through the woo-ids, Spends all his time in Annwyfn Coz that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! I'll go get my golden sickle We will worship like Zen Druids And I'll wear it where it tickles In their non-existant wooids It ain't used for cuttin' pickles! Don't try to think, just dooid! And it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! We'll go riding with Arawn That old wondrous faerie, Morgan In the dark before the dawn Could appreciate an organ Wildest Hunt that we've been on! Just as long as it was workin' But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Now there was this wizard, Merlin, There's this Druid who is Jewish Really kept the world a-twirlin' He is nice and sometimes foolish 'Til he got mixed up in girlin' "Oy vey! You don't -look- Druish!" But he's good enough for me! "Let's define our terms," says he! Wrap your sacrifice in wicker Oh the Welsh gods, -you- announce 'em It will make the flames burn quicker Asking my gods to renounce 'em Tho the smell makes some folks sicker But our gods, I can't pronounce 'em It's still good enough for me! Being tongue-tied's not for me! When I hear the Ban-Sidhe wailing When the Morrigu are riding Sure it sets my heart a-quailing And the fell Trollwives are striding Death behind someone is trailing I'm sure going into hiding! And I hope it isn't me! 'Cause that battle's not for me! When the Wild Hunt fills the evening We will visit with the Sidhe With a howling and a screaming And we'll drink until we're giddy How the Lady's eyes are gleaming Leave behind G. Gordon Liddy And that's where I wanna be! And that's good enough for me! EGYPTIAN: Let us sing the praise of Horus When we all bowed down to Nuit As our fathers did before us There was really nothin' to it We're the New Egyptian Chorus (Alex Sanders made me do it...) And we sing in harmony! But that's good enough for me! We will venerate Bubastis We will pray with those Egyptians We will venerate Bubastis Build pyramids to put our crypts in If you want in, then just ast us! Cover subways with inscriptions, 'Cause that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me.....! Let us all now worship Ra We will all do praise to Horus And take care of our Ka In an old Egyptian chorus We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!" If there's something in it for us Which is good enough for me! Then it's good enough for me! Here's an invitation for us We will venerate Bubastis All to go and worship Horus Cause my cat walked up and ast us Doff your clothes and join the chorus (Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!) And that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! It was good for old Osiris We will worship old Osiris But what I want to inquire is: As we sit and smoke papyrus Can you Xerox (tm) a papyrus? We will prob'ly catch a virus And it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! I prayed to mighty Isis Let us not forget ol' Isis To relieve romantic crisis She will help you thru your crisis Now I've got satyriaisis 'N make your dreams glow brightest Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will go and worship Isis We will bow down to Osiris Tho she won't help lower prices At the blooming of the Iris We won't find someone as nice as And he'll save us from the virus She - that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! Oh you need no priests for Amon There's the God who is a monkey He looks kindly upon laymen His behaviour's kinda funky 'Course he'd much rather lay women And he makes a lousy bunkie And he's good enough for me! But he's good enough for me! We will go and honor Isis Let us worship Egyptian Min She will help us thru our crisis Christians call our orgies "sin" 'Cause she has no minor vices But New Morality is 'in!' And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will go to worship Ammon We will sing the praise of Ra He will send to end a famine And of Ammon who goes "B-a-a-a!" Bagels, cream cheese and smoked salmon And the Pharaoh's whole brou-ha-ha Which is good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! It was good for Mother Hequet Who bought babes with lots of racket It was good for Mother Hequet And it's good enough for me! FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS AMD HEROES: Here's to those who copy Conan We will sing of Foul the Render, Here's to those who copy Conan Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender They're just Followers of Onan In his cave in Kiril Threndor-- And that's good enough for me! They're both too much for me! There are followers of Conan. Of Lord Shardik you must beware; And you'll never hear 'em groanin' To please him you must swear; Followed Crom up to his throne(in) 'Cause enraged he's a real Bear, And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! St. Waldo is a were Ethyl is the female part Call on him if you dare Of Sativa's holy art He may come on as a bear Drink her if you've got the heart And he's good enough for me! For a holy man to be! Azahoth is in his Chaos We will sing of Iluvatur, Azahoth is in his Chaos Who sent the Valar 'cross the water Now if only he don't sway us To lead Morgoth to the slaughter That is good enough for me! And that's just fine with me! We will worship Holy Ford We will sing the Jug of Issek, Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord And of Fafhrd his chief mystic, But the Alphas might get bored Though to thieving Mouser will stick, A Brave New World for you and me! And that's good enough for me! Let us note the might of Ils We'll invoke the blessed Camber With a thousand or more quills And the Unicorn of Amber By the light that from him spills And the wizard Deliamber He is good enough for me! They're good enough for me! The late return of the Prophet Zarquon If the Force makes you a hater Caused his followers to hearken Tall and black like Darth Vader As the Universe went dark on And not recalled by Ralph Nader All of you and me! Then you're good enough for me! Oh the Trekkies worship Spock "Necronomicon?" I'll buy one! To the movies they will flock "Liber Eibon" I'll rely on Girls as baldy as a crock And "The Protocols of Zion" That's not good enough for me! They're all good enough for me! We'll pay homage to Godzilla We will worship Paul Atreides In the Oriental thrilla Tho he sort of lost his sight he He went and stomped the whole megillah Got a son that's rather mighty And he's good enough for me! And a Sandworm now is he! Donal Graeme is part Maran It was good for Bilbo Baggins And the Com'yn all use "laran" It was good for Bilbo Baggins Why the hell am I still Terran? Treasure sometimes comes with Dragons But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Michael Valentine is grokking Roger Elwood got religion Clothing usage he is stopping No more sex in Science Fiction "Thou art God" the phrase he's dropping Claims we've all got drug addiction And I'm good enough for me! He ain't good enough for me! There may be reincarnation The "Necronomicon's" still leadin' There may be reincarnation All the others its exceedin' Let us hope we keep our station Just don't move your lips while readin' and be born again as fen! 'Cause that isn't good for -you-! It was good for old Darth Vader For we are the Knights of Jeddi It was good for old Darth Vader And in us the Force is reddi He'll be back a little later Grab your sabres, throw confetti And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! You may marching with your Cross go There are Frogs out in the Abyss You may marching with your Cross go Armed with athame and labrys I will worship Ghu and Roscoe They are green and rather scabrous 'Cause they're good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! I won't worship ol' Dormammu Let's not worship old Galactus To that fire-head I'll say "Damn you!" He's more nasty than a cactus I will worship whales named Shamu Eating worlds takes lots of practice Or the Chicken of the Sea! He's too scary for me! I won't worship ol' Bill Cosby We've all heard of Illuminati Tho he's funnier than Fozzie We've all heard of Illuminati He is smiling just because he Their security is kinda spotty Makes much money on TV! It's a conspiracy for me! Robert Wilson keeps on bookin' We will light up to Sativa For his titles I keep lookin' I've got toke-weed up my sleeve, a He always knows what's cookin' Trick I learned in the Yeshiva But don't take him seriously! And that's good enough for me! We will even worship Yoda We will praise the gods of Hagar Who is small as an iota At a sort of Nordic seder But fulfills his Jedi quota Buy the sacraments from Zabar Which is good enough for me! Ad that's good enough for me! St. Blooper's rather clumsy St. Frieda's quite a mama If he hits you, you'll feel numsy She can pinch you thru your armor But he's got a sense of whimsy F*** her to increase your karma And I -like- the S.O.B.! She's more than enough for three! St. Hermann's got a bong St. Gerald's quite a fellow If you sniff you'll be high long Don't you dare to call him yelow It'll make your eyes ping-pong For he will make you bellow His dope's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me! Sativa is no peon He's the head of our pantheon Better him than snorting freon 'Cause that'll play hell with your nasal passages man. Where'd you get this dope anyway? I mean....... Far-r-r-r-r farking out! HINDU: There are some that call it folly We will go to worship Kali When we worship Mother Kali. Though embracing her is folly She may not be very jolly She'd be quite an armful, golly! But she's good enough for me! And she's good enough for me! As the goddess Kali dances I will wait till four-armed Kali With her worshippers in trances Drags me thru that lonesome valley You can learn some Hindu stances She's disgusting act-u-all-y And that's good enough for me! But She's good enough for me! So you want's to be a Deva We will sacrifice to Shiva A real Bodhisavatta We will sacrifice to Shiva A -really- Old Believe-a If you are a True Believe-a And that's good enough for me! Then you're good enough for me! Just like Swami Sachenanda We will worship Jargonatha Just like Swami Sachenanda But altho we risk his wrath-a Hold your breath and throw a tantra There won't none stand in his path-a And you're good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We'll all study the Vedanta We will all practice Tantra We'll all study the Vedanta Groans and grunts will be our mantra It's no good for sharks and mantas There is nothing that you can't-ra But it's good enough for me! So it's sex enough for me! We will go and worship Brahma We will sacrifice to Kali Like a Saddhu or a Llama Tho her Thugs don't act too pally Clad in less than a pyjama When you meet them in an alley And that's good enough for me! She's still good enough for me! We will read the Kama Sutra If you want to worship Shiva The positions are quite "outre" Throw some flower in the river But as long as you're not "neutre" But if Shiva will deliver Then it's good enough for me! then that's good enough for me! You can sacrifice to Kali We will go and worship Shiva Even if you're no Bengali While we're bathing in the river Just by mugging in an alley It's so cold it makes me shiver And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will all go worship Rama Kali has her vengance brewin' Who created quite a drama Against all the evil-doin' When he rescued his sweet mama It was she shot J. R. Ewing! And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! ISLAMIC: We will all bow down to Allah All the warriors for Allah For he gave his loyal follow- Are sure to have a gala -Ers the mighty petro-dollah Party time in old Valhalla And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Let us listen to the Prophet We will all recite the Koran Let us listen to the Prophet We will all recite the Koran Gets more tail than Andy Offut Scots can stick it in their sporran And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Oh the Muslims worship Allah We will guzzle RC Cola And obey the Ayatollah When we join the Ayatollah And they can't drink alcohol-a 'Cause he ain't no Holy Rollah That's not good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! JEWISH: If you think that you'll be sav-ed Some guys have a circumcision If you think that you'll be sav-ed On account of their religion, If you follow Mogen David An embarrassing incision Then that's good enough for me! Cut just ENOUGH from me! Let us worship old Jehovah Let us celebrate Jehovah All you other gods move ovah Who created us "ab ova" Cause the one God's takin' over He'll be on tonight on "Nova" And it's good enough for me! 'Cause he's good enough for me! Oh the Jews prefer Jehovah You can worship God Adonai But their life is not all clover Be allowed few things to enjoy 'Cause they're hung with rules all over I'd much rather be just a goy But that's good enough for me! More comfortable for me! We will observe Tu b'Shevat We will all observe the Pesach Its a Jewish holiday that And try not to get Tay-Sachs Sounds Druidic - but don't say that! For God the waters unlocked Or the J.A.P.s will come for me! When He set our people free! KABBALLA: We will read from the Kabahlah We will read from the Cabala. We will read from the Kabahlah Quote the Tree of Life mandala It won't get us to Valhalla It won't get you in Valhalla, But it's good enough for me! Yet it's good enough for me! KRISHNA: We will all sing Hare Krishna Hare Krishna gets a laugh on We will all sing Hare Krishna When he sees me dressed in saffron It's not mentioned in the Mishna With my hair that's only half on But it's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me! I was singing Hari Rama Hare Krishnas worship Rama With my friend the Dalai Lama With their tamborines and drum-as 'Til they dumped us in the slammer But their lifestyle is a bumm-a But that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN: We will hoist a mighty flagon To Our Lady of Ephesians To the honor of ol' Dagon Who has taps for all secretions And we won't go on the wagon We will dance like Polynesians Whcih is good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! I'll sing some songs to Lilith, We will have a mighty orgy Not so young, and not so girlish, in the honour of Astarte and She's always PMS-ish, it'll be a mighty party but She's good enough for me! and it's good enough for me! Lilith wears a lacy nightie We will sing to Lady Isis And She is a little flighty She'll stand by us in a crisis She will get you all excite-y And She hasn't raised Her prices She's wet-dream enough for me! And She's good enough for me! We will all bow down to Dagon We will all bow down to Enlil A conservative old pagan We will all bow down to Enlil He still votes for Ronald Reagan Pass your Cup and get a refill! And that's good enough for me! With bold Gilgamesh the Brave! Let us worship sweet Eninni Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus Let us worship sweet Eninni From herself the Earth did birth us In a skimpy string bikini And I wonder: are we worth us? And that's good enough for me! But she's good enough for me! With Inanna don't try flirtin' She got eager for Dimuzi To your freedom she'll say "Curtain!" Said she'd meet him up by Nuzi 'Cause she finds it most impertin- Now he's taking quite a snooze, he Ent tosay "She don't suit me!" Might revive next century! We will go to worship Lillith Well Dimuzi's on vacation Grab your cup, step up and fill it He'll be back when spring awakens Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it! There will be such recreation And that's good enough for me! There will be enough for me! Oh the Phillistines abound We will all bow down to Moloch Oh the Phillistines abound We will all bow down to Moloch They had the biggest Baals around 'Cause his Pope is not a Polack And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! If you want to save your soul, ac- I'll let Moloch light my fire -Cording to the priests of Moloch Of his worship I won't tire You must sacrifice a Polack Cheapest baby-sitter's hire.... And that's good enough for me! And that's cheap enough for me! We will bow down to Astarte We will go and weep for Tammuz And we'll have a great big party And we'll laugh at Springtime's promise And your welcome will be hearty And a few then will be mommas And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! We will bow down to the Goddess When we gather with Astarte As She wears Her Cretan bodice It will be a lovely party And the women cry "Come prod us!" And the lovin' will be hearty And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will all go worship Rimmon All us Pagan men and women And our goblets will be brimmin' And that's good enough for me! MITHRAISM: We will sing a song of Mithras We will all be saved by Mithras Let us sing a song of Mithras We will all be saved by Mithras But there is no rhyme for Mithras! Slay the Bull and play the zithras Still he's good enough for me! On that Resurrection Day! MOONIES We will worship Sun Myung Moonie Oh the Moonies worship Moon Though we know he is a goonie (Not the Goddess but the goon) All our money he'll have soonly They'd eat his s*** without a spoon And that's good enough for me! And that's not good enough for me! Sun Moon's kids are kind of funny But they stick to him like honey He just wants their souls and money And it's good enough for him! MORMON (LDS) We will worship like the Mormons I will have a Mormon mammy And we'll be Masonic doormen Tho' her hands are kinda clammy 'Round the Temples we'll be swarmin' They believe in polygammy And that's good enough for me! And that's wives enough for me! NEW AGE: Oh, our Spirits will awaken Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan, Oh, our Spirits will awaken He's too square to be a pagan, Watch the Universe a-quakin' Let's all vote for Carl Sagan! Which is Gurdijeff to me! He's good enough for me! Timmy Leary we will sing to I'll arise at early mornin' And the things that he was into When the Sun gives me the warnin' (Well, at least it wasn't Shinto) That the Solar Age is dawnin' And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! In the sky I hear a hummin' Just like Carlos Castenada It's the UFO's a-comin' Just like Carlos Castenada That's not banjos that they're strummin It'll get you sooner or later But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! NEW AGE CHORUS: Gimmie that New Aeon Religion Gimmie that New Aeon Religion Gimmie that New Aeon Religion Where everyone's a star! NEW WORLD PAGAN: Thanks to great Quetzacoatl Some folks pray to the Great Spirit And his sacred axolotl Most folks just cannot get near it And his gift of chocolatl So they hate it and they fear it And please pass some down to me! But it's good enough for me! Praise to Popacatapetl Some folks worship the Kachinas Just a tiny cigarette'll Some folks worship the Kachinas Put him in terrific fettle They look like "deus ex machinas" So he's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! Now watch out for the Maya's, Montezuma liked to start out They might really try to fry ya, Rites by carrying a part out Sacrifice people, not papaya's, That would really tear your heart out, Just as long as its not me! But it's good enough for me! Quetzacoatl's flyin' And when old Quetzacoatl With the Toltec and the Mayan Found a virgin he could throttle And the mushrooms he's been buyin' And put her heart into a bottle Are good enough for me! It was good enough for me. We will worship Xochipilli We will worship Xipe-Totec Though it might be a bit silly Tho it is a little low-tech Running naked makes me chilly It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic) But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Oh, there's none like Huizlipochtli The Kachinas of the Hopi For destroyin' people tot'ly Dance about and some act dopey Best to worship -him- remotely! They don't leave you feelin' mopey But he's good enough for me! So they're good enough for me! I have gotten in the way-o When the blood it was a surgin' Walkin' with the Monster Slayer Aztec priests wore skins of virgins He is worthy of a prayer Cause they had transvestite urgins And he's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! Be the Great Spirit devotees We will worship like the Incas On the mesa smoke peyote Who were great heroic drinkas 'Til we think we're all Coyote Tho the Spanish called them stinkas And that's good enough for me! Still it's good enough for me! Come and worship Huehueteotl Let us sacrifice to Chac Mol Sit around and chew peyotl For rain just burn some copal What a way to get totalled! Hey! There's a flood out in the hall! And it's good enough for me! And it's wet enough for me! We will go to worship Inti Soon around us we will all see Cocaine being snorted freely And that's stoned enough for me! NORTHERN EUROPEAN (GENERAL) We will praise the god Toutatis I was there when Lemminkainen When the Pagan frenzy's got us Crazed the winin' and the dinin' Till we strain our epiglottis And left poor old Louhi whinin' And that's good enough for me! Which was quite a sight to see! We will go and worship Veles There's the Russian god Yarilo All us Pagan gals and fellows As a love-god he's a thrill-o And we'll Czech out what he'll sell us When he comes there is no chill-o And that's good enough for me! And he sounds a lot like me! We will bow down to Perkunas And we'll chant old Baltic 'runos' Save the dolphins and the tunas And that's good enough for me! SATANISM Oh the Satanists worship Satan There are those who worship Satan And behave so aggravatin' And are just anticipatin' I think they need castratin' Armageddon's conflagratin' And that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! Asmodeus will excite us There are folks who get their hats in To an orgy he'll invite us They go out and pray to Satan He may have his High Priest bite us On TV this gets a ratin' But that's good enough for me! And Geraldo says "Oh, GEE!" I would go and worship Satan I will kill an old black rooster If I could memorize verbatim Show that I'm a Satan booster 'Cause with him there ain't no fakin' He's not drawing like he uster And that kinda frightens me! But he's good enough for me! We will all go to the Black Mass We will follow Satanism And kiss the goat on his ass And use a disgusting chrysm Tho you think it hasn't much class Made of blood and old stale jism Still it's good enough for me! And that's pretty gross for me! SCIENTOLOGY L. Ron Hubbard liked precision In matters Dianetic And he founded a religion You need not get frenetic That has caught a lot of pigeons Make your Engrams copacetic And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! SHINTO: There are some who practice Shinto I don't really go for Shinto There are some who practice Shinto It's just something I'm not into There's no telling what WE'RE into! Tho I guess I could begin to but that's good enough for me! 'Cause it's good enough for me! In Japan they thought it neato Well the Japanese use Shinto When they worshipped Hirohito There's no telling what they're into But that didn't sit with SEATO It helps them outsell the Pinto So it never more will be! And that's good enough for me! Ameratsu brought the light in And love's bonds began to tighten The whole world began to brighten And that's good enough for me! THELEMA: Uncle Crowley was a dreamer When the clouds they are a-rumbling At the Abbey of Thelemer And the thunder is a-grumbling But his magic is a screamer, Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling So it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! There are those who follow Crowley Let us call an Elemental Tho the stuff that he held holy For a temporary rental Turn your your brain to guacamole Just as long as it is gentle But he's good enough for me! It is good enough for me! It was good enough for Crowley The Thelemites worship Crowley With his sacraments unholy While he's roasting very slowly Who smoked pot and ate some moly 'Cause they think he's so damn holy And it's good enough for me! He don't do a thing for me! It's no good for Jerry Falwell Magick's language is so queer And he don't think we're at all well Causes Crowley to appear But the Great Rite's when we ball well And to stick it in your ... ear! And that's good enough for me! That's not good enough for me! Let us not forget St. Crowley There are those who worship Crowley For he's humble, meek and holy 'Cause they say he rhymes with "holy" Kind and jolly, roly-poly, What I say is "Holy Moley!" And that's good enough for me! "Perfect love, and ninety-three!" When the wind is turnin' howly And the thunder's gettin' growly Then you know you're workin' Crowley And he's good enough for me! VOODOO: There are people into voodoo There are people into Voodoo Africa has raised a hoodoo With a mojo and a hoodoo Just one little doll will do you I know I do, I hope you do! And it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! If you're really into dancing We will all go worship Shango And you wanna try some trancing Who will make the thunder bang-o Then the Voodoo gods are prancing End the drought down in Durango And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! WICCA AND GENERAL NEO-PAGAN: Well, she raised an awful flurry When old Gerald got it goin' When she made the scholars worry When old Gerald got it goin' Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray! All that hidin' turned to showin' She is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Granny It's not good enough for Reagan She could throw a double-whammy It's not good enough for Reagan That would knock you on your fanny He's too square to be a Pagan! And she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! With the aid of my athame Meeting at the Witching Hour I can throw a "double-whammy" By the Bud, and Branch and Flower (And can slice and dice salami!) Folks are raising up the Power So it's good enough for me! And that's where I want to be! There will be a lot of lovin' We will worship with the witches When we're meetin in our Coven 'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches Quit yer pushin and yer shovin' And they scratch us where it itches So there's room enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Well the Christians all are humming We will gather at our saunas Cause they say their God is coming, When the spirit comes upon us Our God came three times this evening To perform the Rites of Faunus And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Some folks worship all of Nature Perfect love and perfect trust Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher We shall rise up from the dust They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher And become the upper crust And they're good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We are Children of the Goddess After converts we're not chasing And the Horned One begot us And their money we're not fleecing And with love the Craft they taught us Still our numbers are increasing And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We are children of the Wicca In the face of Inquisition And although we may bicker We maintained an Opposition Our loving is much quicker And preserved the Old Tradition And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! When the blizzard is a-whirling We survived the conflagration And the Yule log is a-burning And emerged with jubilation And the Sun God is returning In a new reincarnation It is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! When the ice is a-breaking Now the candles are a-gleaming And the buds are a-taking And the Cauldron is a-steaming And the Lady is a-waking And the full Moon is a-beaming It's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! When the day meets the night Let's go skyclad all together In equal dark and equal light Dance the Circle round the heather God and Goddess shall unite Never mind the freezing weather And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! On the evening of the May Come and join the celebration Round the fires buring gay Pour the Goddess a libation Witches dance the night away You don't need initiation And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! When Midsummer fires burn When the red-necks say we're sinning Ere the Sun begins to turn I don't care, 'cause we are winning Comes the flowering of the fern And this is only the beginning And that's good enough for me And that's good enough for me! When the Sun is a-going When the souls of the departed And the crops have finished growing Come to join us, cheerful-hearted and we reap the fruits of sowing We know in death we are not parted It's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! When the night meets the day Our High Priestess is a doll When leaves turn brown and skies turn grey But she's fond of alcohol And the Sun is going away Carlo Rossi she'll extoll That is good enough for me! But she's good enough for me! Our Coven is a bunch Our High Priest thinks he's Conan But I have a sneaking hunch But he cannot keep a bone-on That their brains are out-to-lunch He resorts to the Rite of Onan But they're good enough for me! But he's good enough for me! Our Maiden is a virgin Our Maiden is a virgin But her big toes keep divergin' But her buttocks keep divergin' And she don't need any urgin' In Greek Rites she don't need urgin' And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Our Summoner thinks he's lusty Our Witch-Queen has a tushie But his balls are gettin' dusty Which is big and wide and plushy And his nail is gettin' rusty Altars under her go sqooshy But he's good enough for me! What e're the carpentry! Our Coven has a charter Our First-Degree has curves They recieved from some old farter That give all men the swerves And they gave him one in barter It gets on the ladies' nerves But it's good enough for me! But she's good enough for me! Our Healer shaves her thing Our Neophyte's a fool Once a month we see the string But he's got a ten-inch tool Back and forth it tends to swing He'll have Third Degree by Yule But she's good enough for me! If all the girls agree! Our Familiar is black Those Evangelists all say With a white stripe down his back They possess the one true way When his tail goes up, make tracks, I'll take Wicca any day 'Cause it ain't perfumery! And that's good enough for me! When the full Moon's in the sky Up the chimney, down the street And the witching hour is nigh Flying at ten thousand feet Flying ointment we'll apply Hey, Pan Am, we gotcha beat! And that's very good for me! And it's good enough for me! Our Bard is macrophonic Our chalice holds six quart And he thinks he's so harmonic And our wine -- it sure ain't port! But he's more like cacophonic It's distilled in a retort And he plays a mile off-key! But it'sh good enough f'me! Our Book-Of-Shads is old Our rituals are diverse Every page inch-deep in mold Every week a different curse 'Cause the store where they are sold Goddess! What if they reverse? Got flooded by the sea! It won't be good enough for me! Bakersfield has Minstrel Puck We were told in Pagan class Who with verses shows much pluck That leaping cauldrons is a gas Though I think he'd rather ...play But I got a roasted...pentacle But he's good enough for me! And I can't sit down for tea! Outdoor skyclad is for wierdos Gavin Ice took out his phallus Who forget about mosquitoes And he stuck it in the Chalice And they zap you like torpedos Please don't pee, Gav, out of malice That ain't good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! I inherited from Mommy When a witch says "wackawacka" I inherited from Mommy You must kiss her "smackasmacka" My big, black, switch-blade athame And recieve one "backabacka" And it's ba-a-a-d enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will worship in the Northwest The God of Man entices Where the water is our fortress Paganism our life spices Where the Lord and Lady know best So just 'ankh' if you love Isis And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Grannie As the waning year is ending It was good enough for Grannie Young and old souls now are blending It was good enough for Grannie Voices round the Circle sending And she taught it all to me! Samhain joy across the worlds! Through the endless night we shiver Pagans gather in the clearing Flames around the Yule log quiver For the end of Winter's nearing As we sing to praise the Giver And the Maiden is appearing Of the Sun on Solistice morn! Bringing promises of Spring! Light and darkness stand together Hand in hand we leap the fire Leafing birch and flow'ring heather To the meadows we retire Brethren clad in fur and feather To fulfill Beltane desire Tell us Spring has come again And give seed unto the land! While the Solistice Day is fleeting Joy and fruitfulness abound Bull and Stag again are meeting On Lammas Eve, the fertile ground For the honor of repeating Reveals the gift of Love that's found Vows that bind them to the Queen! When the Horned One dies once more! For the Wintertide preparing Always be polite to witches Harvest baskets we are bearing Always be polite to witches Goddess bounty we are sharing If you cross them they are bitches When the night and day are one! And they throw some nasty spells! It was Gerald wrote the ditty When I first became a pagan And Al Crowley made it pretty It was daring and outragin' Ain't traditional one bitty Now my Circle's started agin' But it's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! We will follow Gerald Gardner We go skyclad for the Goddess In our faith he is our partner So we wear no shirt or bodice All that scourgin' makes it harder And it isn't very modest But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Let's all hug our Earthy Mother We will gather come the Lammas There is nothin' that I'd druther It is writ in Nostradamus She's better then any other We will take off our pyjamas And She's good enough for me! We'll make merry, She'll be pleased! I've got a modern-type athame Some are self-initiated And it packs a six-part whammy Tending to be addle-pated That'll knock you on your fanny If their rituals are X-rated Samuel Colt made it for me! That ain't Wicca, don't you see! It's those good old connotations I'm full mooning evil spirits Which make grow the Pagan nations Throwing wild derriere fits Leading us to conjugations And on me they can't lay their mitts And that's good enough for me! 'Cause my charm's protecting me! To the Goddess lift our glasses MAPPCAF I and II were heaven And let's all get off our asses And the spirits worked like leaven Teach those Pagans, hold them classes I can't wait 'til MAPPCAF VII And that's good enough for me! More than good enough for me! We will pray for Ruthie Carter We will worship Frey and Freya That she may become much smarter Yao and Vesta, Lugh and Gaia And put on a Witches' Garter Any more? Perun! and Maia! And that's good enough for me! That's still not enough for me! It was good enough for Tim Zell We will jump the old bonfire It was good enough for Tim Zell Tho the flames are roaring higher With that beard he'll never freeze, well If you miss you join the pyre And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Margot Burn Damiana for a lover It was good enough for Margot And burn Rowan to the Mother And her book I could not forego Cense will show many another And it's good enough for me! Clear the smoke! I cannot see! All the apple trees wassail It was good for Beltane fires As we heft the flowing pail Put out by lying friars A good cider mixed with ale It was good for Beltane fires And that's good enough for me! And it's good for you and me! We're all children of the Goddess If you think that you're a Bard We're all children of the Goddess Go and practice in the yard She always fed and shod us Annoy the neighbors till you're tarred She is good to you and me! And feathered, but don't mention me! ZARATHUSTRIAN: We will pray to Zarathustra It could be that you're a Parsi And we'll pray just like we usta It could be that you're a Parsi I'm a Zarathustra boosta! Don't need a ticket; you get in free And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! I pray to Ahura-Mazda I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda, He's one god who sure won't pause ta I'll praise the man who tries ta Pound some heads when given cause ta Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! UNCLASSIFIABLE VERSES AND UNKNOWN GHODS: Let us watch Ka-ka-pa-ull Where's the gong gone? I can't find it Frolic in her swimming pool I think Northwoods is behind it! Subjecting chaos to her rule For they've always been cymbal-minded And that's all right with me! And they're good enough for me! They revered ancient ENIAC Some folks pray to the Orishas And sacrificed to UNIVAC Tho their humor can be vishas Now we sing our chants on VAX pack When they grant your stupid wishas And that's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! When you worship Rusto There are those who worship science Treat your friends with lust-o And some would send 'em to the lions Pursue your faith with gusto! Without 'em we'd have no appliance And that's good enough for me! So they're good enough for me We will all bow down to Gozer John, Paul, George and Ringo Priestess did it with that Joser We will worship playing Bingo Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir We will listen to them sing-o And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine I have got a strange religion The Etruscan god of wine I will worship Walter Pidgeon This verse doesn't really rhyme Is he sacred? Just a smidgen! But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! We'll do a film on Caligula Let's have one verse that's Carl Sagan's The perverted Roman rula He's seen Earthmen, Martians, Vegans It will make a lot of moolah But he's yet to meet us Pagans And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me We all worship good ol' Elvis, We will sing to Ronnie Ghu un- Though he was kind of selfish, -til they ask us what we're doin' He could rock and grind his pelvis 'Cause it's good enough for you an' And he's good enough for me! Babe, it's good enough for me! I like old Hewlett-Packard, Sing a chorus of "Hosannah!" Whose old software can be hackered Sing a chorus of "Hosannah!" And their printers' been all lacquered Hit the Top Ten in Nirvana And they're good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! You are very, very pretty Let's forget those moral urges As you sing this little ditty Get your spurs and chains and scourges I like little ditties.... And accentuate your urges And I like big ditties too...!!! So come and play with us! Sigmund Freud, now he's another We thought Lashtal Lodge was snooty "Kill your father, screw your mother" So we founded Camp Tehuti Feeling guilty's such a bother We will make off with the booty No, the shrinks are not for me! And that's good enough for me! If I come a fatal cropper It was good for Jimmy Carter Then a rebirth would be proper He just wanted to be a martyr I'll meet up with Cosmo Topper He coulda been if he'd been smarter And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Doctor Bob and ol' Bill W. We will go down to the temple Clean from alcohol will scrub you Sit on mats woven of hemp-le 'Cause your Higher Power loves you Try to set a good "exemple" And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will praise the goddess Gorgo There's a goddess known as K'rta For a skill we would not forego She, from whom all life doth s'prta Makes the bull and ram and boar go And She won't let us get h'rta (M: And it also works on me!) And She's good enough for me! (F: And it brings my men to me!) We shall drink throughout the day When Alphito gave us beer And to junk food not say nay We all raised a ringing cheer Thru the night to Ralph we'll pray We will surely hold it dear In the toilet bowl, you see! As we drink up, merrily! We'll all follow Tanna Hanna We give thanks to Gregor Mendel Celebrate Solistice in her manna Pea plant's alleles he did bend-el Let her be our menu planna Now we breed men just like Grendel That's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We all like to go skinny dippin' Let us all go squeeze the Charmin After which, we're often drippin' Send Mister Whipple back to farmin' And some of us are trippin' He will find our pranks alarmin' And hey there! Wait for me! And it's good enough for me! Well, gather me in a basket At the Festival of Milcom And then find me a lead-lined casket Let the women on the Pill come Three Mile Island blew a gasket And then everybody will come! And that's all that'e left of me! And that's good enough for me! Down in Jonestown they were boozin' There's a woman I've heard tell on And there might have been more enthusin' Thinks a gay is just a felon Had us Pagans been there loosin' Throw her into Mt. St. Helen! But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good for Mother Shipton It was good for Mother Shipton And her herb teas sure beat Lipton And that's good enough for me! THE OBLIGATORY LAST VERSE(S) If you think these verses floor us It's the opera written for us! Then go write another chorus We will all join in the chorus! Just as long as you don't bore us It's the opera about Boris, Then its good enough for me! Which is Godunov for me! ---------------------------------------------------------------- THE FINAL WORD If you want a new edition Let its writing be -your- mission! As for me, I'm goin' fishin'! Or I'll go and watch TV! ---------------------------------------------------------------- We will bow down to John Boardman Joe Bethancourt's a swordsman Tho he's not a master swordsman And he also is a Hordesman Verses of this song he hoards, man And he'll sing 'til he gets bored, man And he's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me! We are -always- interested in more verses! Please send them to: WESTERN USA: Joe Bethancourt EASTERN USA: John Boardman PO Box 35190 234 E. 19th St. Phoenix, AZ 85069 Brooklyn, NY 11226 ---------------------------------------------------------------- This edition released on 1 May, 1993 as REALOTR1.TXT, with any subsequent updates numbered sequentially. It includes _ANAKREON_ numbers #6, #8, #10, and #12. ----------------------------------------------------------------

---

E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank