By: Hypatia To: All Re: Wierd @#$% Experience Hello all, I had a really wierd experience l

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By: Hypatia To: All Re: Wierd @#$% Experience Hello all, I had a really wierd experience last night that I wanted to bounce off you because I can't figure out whether I dreamed the whole thing or have some cause for concern. I think I may have been bothered by a "ghost" or "entity" of some sort but am not sure. For the last few years, every once in awhile I will have a dream about being in a haunted house, or some place where there are ghosts and it will be very scary, and often in the dream an entity of some sort is bothering me, trying to take over me or get into me or something, and I'll be paralyzed and trying to fight it off, often attempting to say, "In the name of the Goddess leave me alone!" but I'll be paralyzed and my mouth isn't working right, it's like the entity is trying to keep me from speaking properly. Very often I'll wake myself and find myself actually crying out, "In the name of the Goddess leave me alone!" but as soon as I'm awake everything's okay, I realize it's just a dream, etc., and I stay awake for a few minutes to clear my brain and then go back to sleep with no problem. Last night it happened again, except it didn't stop after I opened my eyes and woke up. It was New Year's Eve and I was staying at some friends' house because of an ice storm. We went to bed about three o'clock in the morning, and we had been drinking, although I was pretty sober by the time we went to bed. I crashed out on their couch with a large pink comforter of theirs and was in only semi-darkness because of a light on in the kitchen. I started having dreams of ghosts, the friends were I was staying were in the dream, and I was sometimes dreaming I was at their house and being bothered by a ghost and sometimes I had my eyes open and was trying to wake up. It's all very confusing, because after the light of morning and three cups of coffee the whole bloody thing seemed like a dream, even though at the very end I know damn well I was awake. I kept dreaming there was something, some kind of entity coming after me and making me paralyzed. In the dream I started saying, "In the name of the Goddess leave me alone!" and once again I was paralyzed and my mouth wouldn't move properly to form the words, it was like speaking with a lipful of Novacaine. Then I started waking up (or thought I was, anyway), finding myself on their couch, with the right half of my body numb and my mouth not working properly. I felt cold, like the comforter was gone and I was only covered by a sheet, then I would reach down and find the comforter on half of my body because in truth the apartment was really hot. Then I would be dreaming again and then I would wake up, or think I woke up, and felt like something was really after me this time. At one point I woke up finding myself trying to say, "In the name of the Goddess leave me alone!" except that now I couldn't say it normally whereas before I could when I woke up. This seemed to happen like three or four times. The last time it happened I had this dream of one of my friends sitting in a chair in his living room with his wife on the couch next to me and telling me a story of a ghost that appeared on a photograph that someone took in the town I live in. I felt he presence come down on me again and this time I tried to wake up, and forced my eyes open, to the point where I could see the half-light on the ceiling. I was on my back on the couch and the right half of my body was numb and I felt paralyzed. I felt something like a pressure on my chest, and I felt like I was really awake and that this time it seemed like there really was a ghost of some sort bothering me. I tried to look over to where I thought my friend was sitting in his chair, and I was too paralyzed, it was like something was trying to prevent me from seeing, and I was trying to banish it and as usual my mouth wasn't working. I tried to project pentagrams to protect myself and white light, but it was like it wasn't working. I was getting frustrated because I couldn't get it to go away. I thought I could see my friend sitting there with my open eyes and I knew he couldn't be there, and he just sort of faded away. Now I was forcing my eyes open and I tried to look up and I thought I saw like a fog over me, and I wondered if it was just my imagination or what. I kept trying to say "In the name of the Goddess leave me alone!" and the damn thing kept pressing down on me, and paralyzing me, and making the right half of my body numb. So I forced my eyes open and forced myself up and was able to whisper normally, "In the name of the Goddess leave me alone!" and I made myself wake up fully, and the thing sort of started going away. I could now see normally and talk normally, and the pressure left my chest, and I could still feel the numbness on my right side so I turned over on my left side and pulled the comforter around me, now fully awake. I kept my eyes open and looked around for psychic energy but saw nothing. I was afraid to go back to sleep until everything felt normal again so I made sure I came fully awake and took a few minutes to clear my brain. Then I prayed to Artemis (sort of my patron goddess) to protect me from any entities who didn't mean me well, and to surround me with her love and white light. After a few minutes the numbness went away but I lay there seriously concerned about what happened. I wondered what I had done to deserve this. I hadn't been practicing any negative magick (I have a strong rule against that). I wondered if I had opened myself up to something. I hadn't felt that the entity, if it even was that, was per se *evil*, but I got the feeling it was male and it was just, well, f**king with me. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, that last time when I was pretty sure I was awake and the damn thing wouldn't go away, I thought I felt a hand, and I grabbed it with my left hand, and I could feel it although I couldn't see it. And it wouldn't go away so I tried to drag it to my mouth to bite it to let it know I meant business, but the paralysis kept me from moving fast and by the time I got it to my mouth, it had dissolved beneath my fingertips. Has anyone else ever had this experience? I wonder now whether it wasn't perhaps just a very lucid dream, although that last time I'm sure my eyes were open and I was at least semi-awake. I have recently, since Lammas, begun doing rituals with some Pagan friends of mine and have lately begun to have a few "flashes" of possible increased psychic ability (whereas before I didn't seem to have much at all.) I'm always a little hesitant to label anything that happens as a psychic manifestation because I'm a very rational person who can often see a perfectly natural explanation for a lot of things that others are quick to jump at as being a psychic occurrence. Like my body being numb on one side. For all I know, I slept on my right side for a couple of hours and that was why it was numb. Maybe I was a little drunker than I realized when I went to sleep. Maybe my brain was just in overdrive on ghosts because over Xmas weekend I was reading my mother's book on ghosts. On the other hand, I had a bizarre experience at a friend's house a few weeks ago when we did a reverie (me and like five other people) and we stirred up a few entities in her house, one of which came over to me and was watching me. So maybe I'm opening up myself to stuff a little more and just need to practice psychic protection a bit more. I'm *really* inexperienced at this ghostly stuff, I used to live with a poltergeist when I was a teenager but it was no big deal. So far I have one thing who thinks I may have pulled in "something" that is following me around, and another who thinks I may have had a very lucid dream that carried over into consciousness, which seems entirely plausible. Anyone else have any insights? I'd appreciate it. Thanks for letting me babble. Walk Forever In The Light, Hypatia hypatia@excalibur.org

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