By: Steve Quarrella
Re: New Element!
NEW SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY ANNOUNCED!!!
The heaviest element known to science was recently
discovered by investigators at a major US research university.
The element, tentatively "administratium", has no protons or
electrons, and thus has an atomic mass of zero.
However, it does have one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 75 vice
neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an
atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together by a
force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like
particles called "morons".
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it
can be detected chemically, as it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. According to the researchers, a
minute amount administratium causes one reaction to take more
than four days to complete, when normally it would have occurred
in less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of about three years, at
which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization, in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and
assistant vice neutrons exchange places. One study shows that
the total atomic mass actually INCREASES after each
Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium
occurs naturally in the atomosphere. High concentrations can be
found at large corporations, polital campaign offices, major
universities, and particularly around all government offices.
Traces are found around the newest, best appointed
and best maintained buildings everywhere. The highest
concentration found to date is in New York City, airborne in the
vicinity of the United Nations building. Even so, Washington,
D.C., is expected to contain the bulk of the nation's future
supply of administratium.
Scientists point out that administratium is known to be very
toxic at ANY level of concentration, and can easily destroy a
productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Research
is underway to determine how it can be controlled to prevent
irreversible damage. Results to date have not been promising.
Experiments are now being developed to release administratium
in a chloroflourocarbon (CFC) compound into the ozone hole, with
the hopes of halting or reversing the process. Other nations are
feared to be developing military applications.
... Neuro toxin Lite! Tastes great. Less drooling.