By: J.J. Hitt
Re: More on immortality...
needs *no* comment.....
== Forwarded Message Follows =========================================
# Originally By: Dave Coble
# Original Date: 26 Dec 95 22:52:00
# Original Area: FUNNY Bits
A few months ago I decided to discontinue my life insurance policy.
Granted, it was pretty cheap (25 bucks a year), but I didn't have the money
at the time and I let the policy expire. Since then I have gotten a letter
from them every couple of weeks pleading me to reconsider my decision. In
the last letter, I got from them, they were starting to sound a little
pathetic, and they wanted to know what they had done wrong. The vice
president himself wanted me to write and tell him what the problem was.
Well, I started to feel a little bad and I decided to write them the
December 4, 1994
Raymond N. Arel
National Benefit Life
Since I have decided to discontinue my life insurance policy, I have
received many letters urging me to reconsider. I feel I must write a letter
to address your concerns.
I assure you, I have been quite satisfied with the service I have
experienced with the National Benefit Life Insurance program. The
reasonable cost and the option to increase my benefits in the future was a
very attractive incentive to continue doing business with you.
However, recently I have signed a pact with the Unholy One, otherwise
known as Cthulhu (pronounced Kah-thu-lou). For the mere price of my soul,
and eternal damnation, I have been promised domination of the city of my
choice after the second coming of the Gods of Hellfire. The offer also
included immortality and a free membership card entitling me to 10% off any
purchase at over 10,000 occult stores nationwide.
As a result, I have changed my name from Adam S. Kajenski, to Yog Sothoth
Neblod Zin, and I have moved to the most evil city on Earth, Williston
Vermont, where I dwell in my castle of sin shedding the last vestiges of my
human shell. Now that I am immortal, I feel that life insurance would be a
fruitless waste of money.
Thank you for your concern,
Yog Sothoth Neblod Zin
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