By: J.J. Hitt Re: More on immortality. needs *no* comment. = Forwarded Message Follows = #

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By: J.J. Hitt Re: More on immortality... needs *no* comment..... == Forwarded Message Follows ========================================= # Originally By: Dave Coble # Original Date: 26 Dec 95 22:52:00 # Original Area: FUNNY Bits -------------------------------- A few months ago I decided to discontinue my life insurance policy. Granted, it was pretty cheap (25 bucks a year), but I didn't have the money at the time and I let the policy expire. Since then I have gotten a letter from them every couple of weeks pleading me to reconsider my decision. In the last letter, I got from them, they were starting to sound a little pathetic, and they wanted to know what they had done wrong. The vice president himself wanted me to write and tell him what the problem was. Well, I started to feel a little bad and I decided to write them the following letter: December 4, 1994 Raymond N. Arel Vice President National Benefit Life Insurance Company Dear Raymond, Since I have decided to discontinue my life insurance policy, I have received many letters urging me to reconsider. I feel I must write a letter to address your concerns. I assure you, I have been quite satisfied with the service I have experienced with the National Benefit Life Insurance program. The reasonable cost and the option to increase my benefits in the future was a very attractive incentive to continue doing business with you. However, recently I have signed a pact with the Unholy One, otherwise known as Cthulhu (pronounced Kah-thu-lou). For the mere price of my soul, and eternal damnation, I have been promised domination of the city of my choice after the second coming of the Gods of Hellfire. The offer also included immortality and a free membership card entitling me to 10% off any purchase at over 10,000 occult stores nationwide. As a result, I have changed my name from Adam S. Kajenski, to Yog Sothoth Neblod Zin, and I have moved to the most evil city on Earth, Williston Vermont, where I dwell in my castle of sin shedding the last vestiges of my human shell. Now that I am immortal, I feel that life insurance would be a fruitless waste of money. Thank you for your concern, Yog Sothoth Neblod Zin # AmyBW v2.11 *... Dump: The Epa's Answer To Health.-!- FMail/386 0.98 ! Origin: Yet Another Brick (210-662-8700) San Antonio, Texas (1:387/643.0) ======================================================================


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