By: George Rudzinski
In a stunning revelation yesterday a righteously outraged Senator Alfonse
D'McCarthy has revealed stunning new revelations that Hillary Clinton, during
the time of the Travelgate firings, has been less than forthcoming.
Acting on a tip from well known talk show host Flush Fla'beau, the personal
diaries of one of the First Lady's personal assistants were subpoenaed.
Standing righteously in front a crowd of reporters Senator D'McCarthy, while
waving the diary, declared, "We have the smoking gun to show that Mrs Clinton
is a congenital liar."
Senator D'McCarthy then proceeded to read from Mrs Libshits diary. "While
waking Mrs Clinton she sleepily rolled over, passed gas, and asked what time
Senator D'McCarthy proudly pounded the podium and yelled, "There you have it!
In none of Mrs Clinton's testimony did Mrs Clinton ever tell investigators or
this committee that she had passed gas during the Travelgate affair. He points
to testimony from other White House aids which clearly shows they have not
made public that the First Lady passed gas. It is clearly a cover-up involving
large portions of the White House staff. We intend to fully prosecute Mrs
Clinton for this obvious abuse of power and intend to introduce articles of
impeachment against her."
A smirking D'McCarthy then stated, "It is the plain as the nose on your face
gentlemen. I will now take your questions."
Senator!: "Are you telling us that you were unaware that Mrs Clinton passed
D'McCarthy: "No I'm not. I'm saying that we always suspected it but couldn't
But Senator!: "Everyone passes gas don't they?"
D'McCarthy: "I don't!"
From the back of the room: "Maybe not but you are full of shit!"
D'McCarthy: "That isn't at issue. The issue is the cover-up of the First
Lady passing gas during Travel gate."
Senator!: "How can you charge Hillary with abuse of power? She has none."
D'McCarthy: "Oh no? Then why is it that they were able to cover up the fact
that the First Lady passes gas?"
But Senator!: "Everyone passes gas."
D'McCarthy: "You have no evidence that I do."
Senator: "Unconfirmed sources have stated that your lawyer says you pass gas."
D'McCarthy: "Any such information is protected by attorney client
Senator!: "How do you propose to impeach the First Lady? She holds no
D'McCarthy: "Very easily sir, she wishes to. We will thereby save the
American people from her by impeaching her before she holds office."
From the back of the room: "You are not only full of shit, you are nuts too!"
D'McCarthy: "I've covered the first of this question already. As to the
second part, that is protected by doctor client privilage."
Senator: "How much has this First Lady Fart cost the American taxpayer?"
D'McCarthy: "To date 28 million dollars. And well worth it. The American
people deserves to know the truth."
Senator!: "Twenty eight million dollars for a fart? I've heard of a shot
heard round the world, but a fart?" [Gallery bursts into laughter.]
D'McCarthy: "I believe I've covered that question while talking about passing
gas, and feel no need to comment further."
From the back of the room: "No shit!"
At this point an to aid Senator D'McCarthy rushed up and stated, "That will be
all for now."
As Senator D'McCarthy was ushered from the room he was heard frantically
screaming, "We do have shit! We have Libshits, We have Libshits!"
From the back of the room: "Don't bet on that Senator, we have a surprize for
you in November."