By: Norbert Sykes
To: Brad Jackson
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Brad Jackson > All : Doctrine
BJ> I was give this track yesterday by a very good friend
BJ> out-lining the:
BJ> The Apostle's Doctrine
Do you need track lighting to read it? And why do you call the guy
a friend? And aren't we pleased to hear all about this?
BJ> (Luke 24:46 KJV) And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it
BJ> behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:
Like bread dough?
BJ> (Luke 24:47 KJV) And that repentance and remission of sins should be
BJ> preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.
Jerusalem's a nation?
BJ> (Luke 24:48 KJV) And ye are witnesses of these things.
I never saw a thing.
BJ> (Luke 24:49 KJV) And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon
BJ> you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with
BJ> power from on high.
Does one get endued with a glue gun or an endue gun? I'd rather be
endowed . . .
BJ> (Acts 1:8 KJV) But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost
BJ> is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem,
BJ> and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the
The Holy Ghost better not come upon me; I'll kick the sheet out of
him. I think the uttermost part of the earth is probably, from
BJ> (Acts 2:38 KJV) Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized
BJ> every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of
BJ> sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
. . . a lovely home version of the game . . .
BJ> (Acts 4:12 KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is
BJ> none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be
So how many men do you know that are named YHVH?
BJ> (Gal 1:9 KJV) As we said before, so say I now again, If any man
BJ> preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be
Now, don't bring Assmotrin into this . . .
BJ> (Eph 2:20 KJV) And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and
BJ> prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;
I like the idea of the apostles, prophets, and JC himself being in
the foundation, along with assorted mobsters and union leaders like
Jimmy Hoffa. I just didn't know the Jews worked with cement, though
I was aware of the fact that the Romans used a kind of cement. Perhaps
we could consider this a Xtian time-capsule. No wonder the body
was never found. I do know that two of Jesus's contemporaries were
named Rocky and The Knife (Paul and Judas).
BJ> (1 Tim 1:3 KJV) As I besought thee to abide still at Ephesus, when I
BJ> went into Macedonia, that thou mightest charge some that they teach no
BJ> other doctrine,
BJ> (2 Tim 3:16 KJV) All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is
BJ> profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction
BJ> in righteousness:
. . . heck, just profitable in general, isn't it?
BJ> I would like to thank that friend that passed this track to me, and
BJ> the people that wrote it.
Okay, which one of us supposedly gave you this tract?
BJ> May God Bless them both!
... Brad's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
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Brad Jackson > All : Baptism
BJ> Many false preachers (accursed of God) teach that baptism is merely
BJ> "An outward profession of inward faith" or some such nonsense...
BJ> It is a lie from the very pits of hell, a trick of the devil to
BJ> keep people in their sins. Water baptism is the re-birth of Water
BJ> referred to in John 3:5.
I make water all the time, so I know what you mean.
BJ> Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he
BJ> that believeth not shall be damned.
My dog doesn't believe. Out, damned Spot!
BJ> Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one
BJ> of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye
BJ> shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
Couldn't they just get chemotherapy?
BJ> Acts 2:41 Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and
BJ> the same day there were added [unto them] about three thousand souls.
Ah, collecting souls for fun and profit. Many of them are valuable
. . .
BJ> Acts 10:45 And they of the circumcision which believed were
BJ> astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles
BJ> also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost.
What was astonishing it that they'd allow their winkies to get
whacked like that! Ow!
BJ> Acts 10:46 For they heard them speak with tongues, and magnify God.
Warning, Gods in the Rear View Mirror may appear larger than they
are . . .
BJ> Then answered Peter,
BJ> Acts 10:47 Can any man forbid water, that these should not be
BJ> baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we?
Forbid water? What if you're thirsty? How about Kool-Aid? I bet
that's why the Church is loosing members all the time (no snide
remarks, now!) . . . it's because they don't have a Kool-Aid
baptism. Look how Jim Jones made out with grape Kool-Aid . . .
BJ> Acts 10:48 And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the
BJ> Lord. Then prayed they him to tarry certain days.
I hate the smell of hot tarry. Gravel doesn't bother me much,
BJ> Acts 19:4 Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of
BJ> repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him
BJ> which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus.
Jesus came AFTER John? Good, then they were both satisfied, right?
How considerate of JC . . .
BJ> Acts 19:5 When they heard [this], they were baptized in the name of
BJ> the Lord Jesus.
. . . a lot more etherial than water . . .
BJ> Acts 22:16 And now why tarriest thou? arise, and be baptized, and wash
BJ> away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord.
BJ> ** Sins are washed away in Jesus' name baptism **
But does he get out those stubborn skid marks?
BJ> Romans 6:3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus
BJ> Christ were baptized into his death?
Ooops, just talked _me_ out of it. Did you mean the baptismee's
death, or JC's? If you meant JC, it won't matter, you can't kill
the Jewish Terminator . . .
BJ> Galatians 3:27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ
BJ> have put on Christ.
But where do you get shoes to match?