PARENTAL GUIDANCE WARNING
This publication is not suitable -- and not intended -- for those below
the legal age of consent in your locale.
If you don't meet your local ordnance requirements, stop reading
*IMMEDIATELY* and secure your parents permission.
Those who do meet local ordnance restrictions should stop and call your
parents anyway. Thank them for bringing you into the world. Thank them
for raising you. Thank them for teaching you the basics of what you
know about being alive. When was the last time you told Mom that you
loved her? Not enough, I bet. So go ahead. Call her now.
And when you are done, come back and read the latest episode of........
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The "Find Out Why They Call Me Stumpy" issue
November 14th, 1993
/ Editor : Blade X | Back issues found at: \
/ firstname.lastname@example.org | etext.archive.umich.edu ftp \
/ Neo-Wobblie Node # 269 | Tejas (512) 467-0663 BBS \
AXCESSerpt : Ice-T interview
Q: So you've got a book coming out.
I-T: Got a book coming out. Book is called _The Ice Opinion, Who Gives
a Fuck?_ and it's done. It's a compilation of all my interviews but it's
done like one big long meeting -- speaking on topics : education, you
know, race. religion, sex, ghetto mentality...and it's like at the end
of each chapter it says "Well, that's my opinion on education, who gives
a fuck?" Because it's not supposed to be taken as so important, it's
just, "Yo, this is how I feel about it"
....it's like one stop shopping for Ice-T, you know what I'm saying. So
you could be sitting up and having a real hot argument about something
and say "let's see what the fuck Ice says." Then you read it and you
say, "Ice is a fucking asshole." Then take it from there. And somebody
says, "fuck you, man, he had a point there".
INTERACTIVE SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION
Ain't got no stinking Listserv here.....
So if you look at the backstop, you'll notice that almost every issue
has a different essay question. I'll include some more here.
First time subscribers : choose the one you'd like to answer.
Current subscribers : you are always welcome to participate.
Limit : 300 words or less.
Question 1 -- Alternative Literature History
Suppose that instead of William Gibson, _The Difference Engine_
was co-written by Bruce Sterling and Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
(Nobel Prize winner for _100 Years of Solitude_; also well-known
for _Love in the Time of Cholera_).
Describe the outcome of this literary coupling.
Question 2 -- Pacoidspeak Translator
The latest issue of Fringeware Review makes heavy use of the
phrase "cyberorganics". Free subscription to anyone who can
translate into English whatever the hell Jon and Paco are
Alternative selection : neo-tribalism.
Question 3 -- Henry Rollins
Savage street poet or heavy metal butthead?
Question 4 -- alt.cyberpunk.slag
Write a RFD for alt.cyberpunk.slag, a special place in
cyberspace set aside for those who have nothing better to do but
mutter inane variations of _________ sux. I think there should
be a place for all the cyberpunk parasites to leech together.
Bonus : Top 10 List of fab alt.cyberpunk.slag topics.
Starters : Billy Idol *sux*
Mondo 2000 *sux*
Question 5 -- Alternative Cyberspace Utopians
Suppose that the Well is destroyed and all hosts and moderators
are dragged into the streets for public execution.
Question 6 -- For Kibo only.
James, what are you wearing right at this moment?
* * *
Send all answers to email@example.com.
* * *
Fuck you. Start your own damn e-zine. I've made it to issue eight
without your sorry ass, what makes ya think I need you now? Writers
guidelines? You want writer's guidelines? Go submit to one of those
e-zines that are constantly whining for submissions to cover up for
the lack of talent, iniative, and material of their own. I don't have
time to deal with you posers, and would rather go months before I
publish something I'm not going to be totally embarassed about later.
Here's my advice, straight from Mike Monteiro, a.k.a. Nervous Dog,
a.k.a. X-Girlfriend Graphix :
"Giving up is fine" -- Mike Monteiro.
You can thank me later.
* * *
Oops! Outta time boyz and grrrllls. What with the headers and legal
warnings and indices and subscription information and disclaimer after
disclaimer after disclaimer, there is just no more room for content in
the e-zine world.
Not that anyone has the attention span to read this far.......
Maybe more next week.