Freedom Writer - December 1995
Robertson fails as novelist
By Paula Xanthopoulou
Pat Robertson's first novel, _The_End_of_the_Age_,
is finally available at your local bookstore. You no
longer have to pledge $100 to the Christian Broadcasting
Network and its L-1011 flying hospital project to get
"The Book," as it has been endlessly referred to by
Pat & Company. But if you are looking for a spine-tingling,
life-altering work of fiction worthy of the shameless
promotion and build-up it continues to receive on "The
700 Club" — forget it.
_The_End_of_the_Age_ is supposed to be about spiritual
revival and the fulfillment of the New Testament Book
of Revelation. But Pat's plot — actually a collage
of his ideas, pet peeves, and grinding axes — is painfully
transparent and virtually devoid of character development.
The inconsistent use of italics throughout is very
distracting. Metaphors are mixed with wild abandon.
Havoc, for example, "unfolded like clockwork." The
last 13 pages are totally blank. Pat delivers God's
wrath in three days and allows the Antichrist to consolidate
world power in just six pages.
Indeed, "700 Club" viewers have been told over and
over that God spoke directly to Pat last December about
all of this. So, he's got it all worked out. Why bother
to develop a legitimate story line?
The good news is that if anyone ever doubted what Pat
Robertson really stands for or how he works, here's
a collection of all that he preaches, promotes, and
bashes every day on "The 700 Club." You may already
know the basic drill: We are on the road to self-destruction,
look at all the nasty signs of the times, a personal
relationship with Jesus is the only way to salvation,
we must reach and harvest 500 million souls by the
year 2000, so forth and so on. In _The_End_of_the_Age_,
the end is now the unspeakably horrible proof of the
Pastor Jack is the one who provides the religious context
for what is happening and for salvation with his interpretation
of Revelation and related historical events. He also
provides a place for thousands of unaffected at his
El Refugio settlement in New Mexico where he's created
a vast satellite communications operation. He and his
cohorts spread the message of hope to those people
who refuse to pledge their allegiance to Mark Beaulieu,
the Antichrist. Only they will survive the wrath and
the ensuing torment to rise up into the heavens and
the New Jerusalem. Pastor Jack knew back in 1995 that
all this would happen. It seems like this guy knows
absolutely everything — just like Pat Robertson!
But that's not all. In _The_End_of_the_Age_, Pat continues
to bash government with impunity by including a president
and vice-president that are about the most pathetic
and despicable public officials you'll ever meet. A
Secret Service agent soon walks off the job saying,
"If some crazy wants to pop these clowns, I sure don't
want to stand in the way." Later a gay man who works
in the White House is blackmailed into a major breach
of national security.
Furthermore: "'You know what amazes me,' Dave said,
'is how people in America, from the Supreme Court all
the way down, thought they could insult God and get
away with it.'" And for good measure: "It was one of
Washington's dirtiest little secrets; but despite what
some critics would call criminal extortion, the Post
was so powerful that it routinely operated above the
Have you heard Pat's theory about the smart card and
the laser tattoos that we'll be sporting when everything
we own or do is under the thumb of the New World Order?
Did Pat make up the sophisticated communications details,
or is it straight out of the Christian Broadcasting
Network? Even the Pope gets an honorable mention —
so Catholics can comfortably buy into the Christian
Coalition's new Catholic Alliance.
Non-born-again Christians are the shallowest of the
shallow, even the ones on their way to redemption.
Just listen to Carl Throneberry: "I know one thing,
though. I dont want to face the judgment. There's got
to be some way out of this deal for Lori and me!" On
the Book of Revelation, he says: "This is incredible!
Who wrote this stuff?"
There are a few heroes in _The_End_of_the_Age_. But
we are informed that a key, born-again communications
expert is the son of illegal Mexican immigrants who
had slipped past the INS border patrol. And Pastor
Jack's loyal housekeeper is technically an illegal,
but that doesn't keep her from being a great cook and
_The_End_of_the_Age_ is not an important novel, not
by any stretch of the imagination. But it is a fairly
complete catalog of the world according to Pat Robertson.
New Age religions, giving protective legal status to
people who practice aberrant sex acts, killing people
through abortion, a First Lady who wants to install
her radical sisters in key government posts, the destruction
of the American family, the Thuggees of India, legalized
pornography, troops in teal blue jump suits with white
helmets, the battle for Jerusalem — it's all there.
Sometimes Pat is his own worst enemy; he just doesn't
know when to stop.
It's tempting to say that _The_End_of_the_Age_ is must
reading. But is it a sincere effort to get people to
think about their relationship with Jesus? Or is it
just another calculated, self-serving effort aimed
at giving Pat Robertson credibility while he twists
the Bible and history to fit his dangerous political
agenda and makes yet more money to support his many
enterprises? Why buy this book when you can just tune
into "The 700 Club"?
Every single American should watch "The 700 Club,"
especially as we continue into the 1996 election year.
We can never forget that televangelist, media mogul,
ex-Southern Baptist minister, and now novelist Pat
Robertson is also a failed Presidential candidate,
friend of Zairian dictator Mobutu, sworn enemy of the
United Nations, and the undisputed boss of the Christian
Coalition. He wants no less than to take over the Republican
Party, control the presidency, and convert Jerusalem.
So, is Pat a modern-day prophet or political meshuggenah?
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