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Xref: helios.physics.utoronto.ca alt.sex.wizards:11893 alt.answers:1838 news.answers:18259 Path: homer.cs.mcgill.ca!superdj From: superdj@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (David Johnson) Newsgroups: alt.sex.wizards,alt.answers,news.answers Subject: [alt.sex.wizards] FAQ (1/2) Followup-To: alt.sex.wizards Date: 15 Feb 1994 04:51:00 GMT Organization: SOCS - McGill University, Montreal, Canada Lines: 941 Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Expires: 5 Apr 1994 Message-ID: <2jpkbk$n7d@homer.cs.mcgill.ca> NNTP-Posting-Host: binkley Summary: frequently asked questions for alt.sex.wizards Keywords: Parts Intro to c2-4. Originator: superdj@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca Originator: superdj@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca Archive-name: alt-sex/wizards-faq/part1 Last-modified: 14 Feb 1994 THE OFFICIAL ALT.SEX.WIZARDS FAQ FILE WITH ANSWERS -------------------------------------------------- (dated October 1, 1993) PURPOSE OF THE FAQ FILE Alt.sex.wizards may not receive the amount of traffic that alt.sex does but a FAQ is always nice to educate the new and bring new information to the old. This FAQ will concentrate on sexual technique and wizardry and present the necessary data to keep wizards healthy and happy. This FAQ does not answer general sex questions. Please refer to the alt.sex FAQ (see section c0-2 for list of questions answered in the alt.sex FAQ). Readers of this group have more than enough to read through without having to filter out inappropriate posts. To help prevent the constant debating of these points, this post serves as a guide to the Frequently Asked Questions. If you are new to this group, please take the time to read through this file, and the alt.sex FAQ, even if only to read the Table of Contents. This does not mean these things are not subject to further debate, merely that they HAVE been considered by the readers here. If you have something significant to add to the subject, then feel free to post. Not every question has a definitive answer. Everyone has different tastes, preferences, and physical attributes, so it is nearly impossible to answer certain questions, such as: is a man's hand or foot size or his height related to his penis size? There are many sex-related questions that are not answered in this FAQ. Please refer to section c0-2 for additional sex topics that are covered in other FAQs, most importantly, the alt.sex FAQ. Every effort has been made to keep attributions to authors in this FAQ file as accurate as possible when available. In many cases however, the name of the original poster has been lost through repeated transfers. I have corrected typos and other errors as I come across them but some slip through, nevertheless. This FAQ is by no means complete. If you have suggestions as to changes or additions please email me at: superdj@cs.mcgill.ca USING THE FAQ FILE In order to navigate more easily through this file there are: 1) separators "-------------------" after most question-answer sections; 2) separators "================..." after main categories; 3) unique question numbering (i.e., cX-Y is category x, question Y.) Use the search function on your editor (you do have an editor, right?) to jump to ends of sections by searching for "------" or "========", and to questions by searching for "cX-Y". If your viewing this with a newsreader use the goto function to navigate through this file. (In rn use the g command.) The Table of Contents lists all questions covered in the FAQ. Thank you for your support. Editors of the FAQ file, -David Johnson and Snugglebunny superdj@cs.mcgill.ca [License is hereby granted to republish on electronic media for which no fees are charged (except for the media used), so long as proper attribution is given to the editors and the authors of this FAQ, and the text of this copyright notice and license are attached intact to any and all republished portion or portions.] CHANGES (Sept 1) - added "What other masturbatory aids are there?". FORMER CHANGES (May 1) - updated "Where can I find this FAQ?", "Where can I find additional sex topics on USENET?". FUTURE CHANGES - Section about instructional videos for couples. - Extended section on sexual aids. - Section about cock rings. - Any suggestions? ================================================================= TABLE OF CONTENTS: Category 0. Where can I find...? c0-1 Where can I find this FAQ? c0-2 Where can I find additional sex topics on USENET? Category 1. A wizard's materials. c1-1 How does one make a simulacrum (artificial orifice)? c1-2 What other masturbatory aids are there? Category 2. General stuff c2-1 Is it possible for men to be multi-orgasmic? c2-2 What are Kegel exercises? How can one increase the force of ejaculation? c2-3 How does one give the Yoni massage? c2-4 How does one give the Lingam massage? c2-5 What is the Sex Magic Reality Creation Process? c2-6 What is the Tantric Polarity Process? c2-7 What are some good books on Tantra/sacred sexuality? Appendix 1. List of contributors Appendix 2. The Teachings of Kama Sutra See the alt.sex FAQ for more general sex related topics. (See c0-2 for more details.) ================================================================= Category 0. Where can I find...? c0-1. Where can I find this FAQ? First of all, look for it in alt.sex.wizards and news.answers If you can't find it there, you can find the (hopefully) latest version via ftp at: rtfm.mit.edu in /pub/usenet/alt-sex-wizards By the way: many periodic or FAQ articles, including this one, are available for anonymous ftp on the archive site rtfm.mit.edu in the directory pub/usenet/news.answers. The name under which a FAQ is archived appears is the one that appears in the 'Archive-name' line at the top of the article. If you can't do or don't know about ftp: there's also a mail server on that machine. Just send an e-mail message to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu containing the word "help" in the body of the message. --------------------------------------- c0-2. Where can I find additional sex topics on USENET? If you're looking for additional topics on general sexuality, look in the alt.sex FAQ (Archive-name: alt-sex/faq/part*). The following topics are covered in that FAQ: Alt.sex Terms and Acronyms (also covers terms and acronyms for this group) What versions of the purity test are there? Where can I get the purity tests? Where can I find alt.sex stories? are there archive sites for them? Where can I find binary pictures and/or movies? What are good books to read up on? What stores sell sex-toys, etc.? Where can I find the archives for alt.sex.bondage & alt.sex.stories? Where can I find the Index to USENET Erotica? Where can I order from via catalog? Where can I find sex-related mailing lists? What should I do to make (the first attempt at) vaginal sex easiest? What should I do to make (the first attempt at) oral sex easiest? What should I do to make (the first attempt at) anal sex easiest? How does one give a hand job? What is the Venus butterfly? What is and where is the G-spot? How can females ejaculate? What about oral/vaginal sex during a woman's period? What can one do about premature ejaculation? What are some good positions to try out? What are the contents of semen? How much semen and how many sperm are in a single ejaculate? Does what I eat affect the taste of semen/vaginal fluids? What's the average length and width penis? What's the average depth vagina? What are blue balls? Is spanish fly dangerous? Is it possible to get pregnant from anal sex? Should I buy a vibrator? What kind of vibrators are there? Do vibrators 'desensitize' women? Can I be replaced by a vibrator? What is circumcision and why is it done? What percentage of men and women masturbate? and at what frequency? How are the bases defined again? (ie. 1st base = kissing, etc.) What is the M-spot? How to shave your pubic region (female) How is the AIDS virus transmitted? and what does a HIV test show? What is HPV (human papilloma virus)? treatment? The major sexually transmitted disease (STDs) and their symptoms (Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Genital Herpes, AIDS, Pubic Lice (Crabs), Nonspecific Urethritis (NSU), Hepatitis B are covered) What are venereal warts? treatment? What are the various methods of contraception? and their effectiveness rates? and their associated risks if any? What kinds of condoms are there? Myths If you're looking for additional information on bondage/ dominance or sadism/masochism or many other such interesting topics, look in the alt.sex.bondage FAQ. If you're looking for additional information on masturbation techniques, look in the alt.sex.masturbation FAQ. By the way: many periodic or FAQ articles, including these two, are available for anonymous ftp on the archive site rtfm.mit.edu in the directory pub/usenet/news.answers. The name under which a FAQ is archived appears is the one that appears in the 'Archive-name' line at the top of the article. If you can't do or don't know about ftp: there's also a mail server on that machine. Just send an e-mail message to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu containing the word "help" in the body of the message. ================================================================= Category 1. A wizard's materials: c1-1. How does one make a simulacrum (artificial orifice)? From: "The Contrivor" Question - We all know women have vibrators and water massagers, but is there any really good (orgasm inducing) sex toy for men? Answer - Yes, and you can make it yourself. There are commercial alternatives as well, but they are not very satisfactory. The device described below, called "the simulacrum", can be used alone or with a partner. It can also be held between the legs of a partner, constituting a form of "safer sex". Materials: 1. A piece of foam rubber, approximately 4" x 5" x 6-7". Generally, the softer the foam the better. You may want to try more than one grade of foam. High quality, soft foam can be purchased at a good upholstery fabric store. 2. A latex, non-lubricated condom. The best brand for this application is "Gold Circle Coin". 3. An O-ring larger than the diameter of the man's penis. The average penis is about 1 1/2" in diameter, so the typical O- ring might be a 1 3/4 inch inner diameter. A good hardware store will have many sizes of O-rings. 4. A water-based personal lubricant. The best is probably "Astroglide". Look in any drug store near the female hygiene/contraceptive department. 5. A wooden clothespin. Construction: 1. Cut a slit through the length of the foam, being very careful not to cut yourself. I recommend wearing leather gloves and using an electric turkey carving knife. It can be done with a sharp knife, but is considerably more difficult. Make the slit about 2" wide, going through the whole length of the foam. You want plenty of foam all the way around the slit, so try to centre it. See the diagram below. __________________ /. /| / . / | 6-7" / . / | / . _____ / | / . . . / | / .___.___.___/_____| / / . . / / ------------------- / | / . . | / | / . . | / 4" | / ----- | / | / 2" slit | / |/ |/ ------------------- 5" Usage: You may want a wet washcloth available. 1. Unroll the entire condom. 2. Bring the open end of the condom through the O-ring, then stretch the open end of the condom over the O-ring, the way that a plastic trash can liner goes on a trash can. 3. Lubricate the inside of the condom with a water-based lubricant, working the lubricant around to insure that there are no dry spots. DO NOT USE skin lotion, vaseline, baby oil, vegetable oil, or any oil based lubricant. Use a water soluble lubricant such as below: - Astroglide personal lubricant - Prepare personal lubricant - HR jelly - KY jelly - Today personal lubricant 4. Push the closed end of the condom down into the slit in the foam. You may find this easier with the wooden clothespin already clamped onto the tip of the condom. 5. Reach through from the other end of the foam and pull the closed end of the condom through. Fasten the clothespin on this end; If the condom is stretched tight a smooth texture will be achieved, if left looser a rougher texture will be achieved. 6. Lubricate the penis with the water-based lubricant. If you use an oil based lubricant, the condom will break. 7. Wipe your hands off on a wet wash cloth. 8. Insert the penis through the O-ring into the foam slit. You may find this difficult if the inside of the condom is not fully lubricated, or if the slit is too small. The width of the slit will determine the fit. You may wish to vary this width to find the perfect fit. Be careful -- too tight and you may irritate your penis -- never a good thing! 9. The foam may be moved with hands, or wedged between pillows, or against a bed. It is recommended that the user experiment with various speeds, angles, pressures and so on. Slow rotation is particularly recommended. It is possible to rotate, flex, change the angle of movement etc., in order to provide different effects. Also, the amount of lubricant used and the tension on the condom before attaching the clothespin will affect the texture and sensation achieved. Also, a drop or two of honey may be added as a thickening agent, to increase the amount of friction. I'm interested in hearing feedback about the simulacrum. Please post your feedback to alt.sex.wizards. - The Contrivor --------------------------------------- c1-2. What other masturbatory aids are there? From: Snugglebunny (dave@cnd.mcgill.ca) When it comes to sexuality of all kinds, including self-love, creativity and imagination is your most important tool. Look around your home--there are all kinds of things that can be used for fun. Hand-held shower heads to massage with...fabrics with different textures to run sensuously over bare skin...you get the picture. One alt.sex.wizards reader wrote: Having read the informations about a simulacrum building, I was reminded of my happy childhood :) I consider this a bit more work than strictly necessary. I had had nice experiences with (I do not know the proper expression) inflatable "air wings", the things you put on children's arms and inflate to prevent them from going under water. You can inflate as much as you personally like, and need no handiwork, just lubrication. Play around with household items, and, if you have a personal favourite sex toy, write to me (dave@cnd.mcgill.ca) to share the idea with other alt.sex.wizards readers! BTW - You might find something interesting in the alt.sex.masturbation FAQ. ================================================================= Category 2. General stuff c2-1. Is it possible for men to be multi-orgasmic? From: sawyer@hubble.westford.ccur.com (George Sawyer) Keywords: NEMO, Taoist Yoga, Sexual techniques Message-ID: <62486@masscomp.westford.ccur.com> Date: 4 Nov 91 16:49:14 GMT The following is a modified repost of my answer to "Postie's query" I study and teach Taoist esoteric yoga, and among the practices are sexual techniques which are VERY EFFECTIVE. There are solo techniques, and partner techniques. They require ongoing practice and, for men, realistically speaking, the partner techniques require a practising partner. A basic concept is that you can have an orgasm without ejaculating. Since ejaculation takes you through the refractory period & etc. cycle as well as emptying your fluid level, it tends to limit activity. Remove this constraint and you can go on as long as you want. (Have as many orgasms as you want). When you get close to the point of ejaculatory inevitability, you perform the techniques, which pull the sexual energy out of your testes/ prostate up to your brain & compress the prostate causing partial loss of erection & subsiding of prostate. When the energy moves upward, you have an non-ejaculatory orgasm. The only way I can describe the orgasm experience is to compare it to some types of psychedelic drug experiences - except that you are in control and can stop immediately if you want. The more you practice, the longer and stronger the effects are. An orgasm of 5 to 10 minutes is "quite easy" and you can become able to have one of more than an hour with "determined practice". About an hour twenty minutes is my personal best (from solo practice at that) and I made it stop because I was getting too high. You tend to rest for a few or several minutes after each orgasm, being with your partner, and then optionally doing it again. Use lots of lubricant. There are different levels of orgasm, the initial one being a "senses" orgasm, in which you experience amplified pleasure from all your senses simultaneously. Since this includes touch, it is a bodywide experience. An "unexpected" benefit for men is that you will always have more energy after sex than before, thus dramatically reducing the "roll off and snore" syndrome. Also, after sex you will feel much closer to your partner and much more connected than prior. Many people have intense experiences of total connection and submersion into each other. It is also a First Class system for being celibate. Completely eliminates wet dreams, and gives you a fair amount of choice about whether to allow yourself to become aroused or not. Over the long term you develop some degree of control over your sexual desire in general. Feels great (even the non-aroused solo practice), and doesn't require "struggle and effort". The non- aroused solo practices are being done by individuals in many Christian monasteries & nunneries in Europe. Downsides. NOT TO BE IGNORED For men, it only really works if your partner practices too. Otherwise they get BORED watching you have extended orgasms while they wait. Initially, it is QUITE DIFFICULT not to ejaculate, and you will need cooperation from your partner at the WORST possible times - "I need to stop NOW!". It does not work well with promiscuity. It takes time to learn - I'll say an average of 6 months to beginning of competence and control, and requires 15min to 30min per day of various meditative practices. Realistically, most people don't stick to it long enough to be able to do it. Success rate among persistent people is very high, and the practices are not difficult. Some women find it really weird if you don't ejaculate, and you can really fuck up your relationship/marriage if you don't take care of your significant other first and foremost. That is far more important than mastery of sex techniques. These techniques are not part of a religion, no Deities to believe in, no statues, none of that. The techniques are described quite clearly in: "Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male sexual energy" (men's) "Healing Love thru the Tao: Cultivating Female sexual energy" (women's) Both are written by Mantak and Manewan Chia, and widely available at New Age bookstores. The pre-requisite is: "Awakening Healing Energy Thru the Tao" Most people find these reference books a bit much, and take one day courses. There are about 70 instructors in the USA, you can find the nearest one by calling the Healing Tao centre @ (516) 367-2701. Classes are about $85, and there is a pre-requisite course "The Microcosmic Orbit" which is also about $85. DO NOT IGNORE THE SAFETY POINTS IN THE BOOKS Happy practice! --------------------------------------- c2-2. What are Kegel exercises? How can one increase the force of ejaculation? From: sesharp@happy.colorado.edu Message-ID: <1991Oct5.231811.1@happy.colorado.edu> Date: 6 Oct 91 05:18:11 GMT Kegel exercises (pronounced "Kay-gill", in case you ever actually have a conversation about them) were invented to give women better bladder control. They have a number of useful advantages in sex. In women, they can help tighten the vagina, particularly after childbirth. The muscles can also be used deliberately during intercourse to stimulate her partner. They have a variety of uses for men. As I already mentioned, they strengthen the muscles used in seminal retention, making that technique more effective. They can make ejaculation more powerful. This may increase male enjoyment somewhat and female enjoyment if she is sensitive to it. Deliberate twitches during intercourse are also useful for males. Knowing how to force relaxation of the muscles can help maintain control and prevent premature ejaculation, as well as relieving the muscle cramps that can occur from too many ejaculations in succession. For females: My recollection of the exercise regimen taken from the older ESO book is as follows. First you have to identify the PC muscles and get them under conscious control. Starting and stopping urination is one method. Inserting a finger into the vagina to feel the contractions or watching the movement of the erect penis is another. Once it is under control, there are three kinds of exercises. The first is to clench the muscle and hold it for two seconds before releasing it. The second is to bear down as though constipated, using the abdominal muscles to force the PC muscles to relax. I find that alternating reps of these two works well. The third exercise is a fast twitch of the muscle, with repetitions as close together as possible, similar to orgasmic contractions. An initial set of exercises consists of 10 repetitions of each exercise. Five sets should be performed in a day. As strength improves, the number of repetitions in a set is increased. Around 30 repetitions in a set is suggested as a good number for retaining good muscle tone. The exercises are unobtrusive and can be performed almost anywhere. For males: Kegel exercises might indeed help with [increasing the force of ejaculation]. Here is how they are performed by males. First you have to learn to consciously control the muscles. One way of doing this is to use them to stop and start urination repeatedly. When you have an erection, contracting them causes it to move, making them easy to identify. Once you have the muscles identified, there are three types of exercises to do: 1) try contracting the muscles and holding them that way for a slow count of ten. You may not be able to last that long at first, but that is why you are exercising. 2) force them to relax by bearing down as though you were constipated and trying to force a bowel movement. 3) twitch (contract and release) the muscles as fast as you can ten times in a row. I find that it works well to alternate each of the first type with one of the second type. I don't recall how many of these are recommended. Something like ten of each to start, eventually working up to a hundred. In addition to the possibility of increasing the force of ejaculation, these may increase the number of contractions and the total enjoyment. The same muscles can also be used to reduce the amount of semen in an ejaculation by contracting them as hard as possible during it. This leaves a less than satisfied feeling, usually accompanied by an urgent desire for another orgasm 10 to 20 minutes later. This can be useful if your partner wants more sex than you do. Supposedly, increasing the strength of the muscles can increase this effect to allow quite a few orgasms in a row. --------------------------------------- c2-3. How does one give the Yoni massage? From: jethro@netcom.com (Jeffery Tye) Subject: The Yoni Massage My wife and I have practised Tantra/Sacred Sex for several years and have received much joy from the techniques and processes. One of my wife's favourite and frequently requested sexual activity is the Yoni Massage. It has greatly expanded our sex life, brought us closer and has given me a greater appreciation of women. We've taught the technique to many of our friends and they too have enjoyed good results from it. I offer it here and hope it enhances your sex life. Enjoy. BACKGROUND INFO: Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." Its meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of their usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn. The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma. The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or not happen. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it should be entirely the receiver's choice. This perspective will build greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual horizons. PREPARATION: Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles, pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the process. Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go to the bathroom. Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation. PROCEDURE: Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is very important here. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops, sex toy shops, sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants. My favourite is Yoni Play from Looking Good Enterprises.) CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and diminishes the effects.) Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe. Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/ vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your pinky into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication and be very gentle. (In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is in her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.") So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand to touch your own genitals because it may take your focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well. Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient partner. Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality. There is a similar massage for men called the Lingam Massage. Lingam is a Sanskrit word for the penis that means, "Wand of Light." (see section c2-4) Namaste, Jeffery ---------------------------------- c2-4. How does one give the Lingam massage? From: jethro@netcom.com (Jeffery Tye) Subject: The Lingam Massage BACKGROUND INFO: The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam (pronounced LING-AHM, [LING rhymes with sing]) and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." Its meaning is different in intention from the typical Western view of the penis (i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick, etc., words that may come from a limited perspective, depending on the intent of their usage). In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honoured, a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure. The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space the receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his Lingam. His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of facilitating and witnessing the man surrendering to his softer, gentler side. The Lingam Massage can be used as a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent process to build trust and intimacy. It is often used to help men heal from negative sexual conditioning and trauma. Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (the equivalent to the female G-spot), and allow the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be used to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage. Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective. PREPARATION: Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and breathe deeply. Conscious, relaxed breathing will take you out of your mental process and will get you more into your feelings. Relax your belly and let go of the tension that most of us hold there. Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results occur when the bowels and bladder are empty. Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner through hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for an extended time), bringing both of you to a place of relaxation and trust. PROCEDURE: Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take your time. You are giving a massage to an often neglected area of the body. CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex. Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull UP and slide off and then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam/ penis and then sliding DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands. Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is said many ailments can be cured by receiving a good Lingam Massage. NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and Softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum. If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life. Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two ways to do this. One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and anus. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be intensely painful at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. It is aptly named the Million Dollar Point in Taoism. The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the anus. Many men, especially heterosexual men, are uncomfortable at first as a result of negative sexual conditioning. Be careful here and use lubrication. The key is to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure he is breathing as you slip a finger from your left hand into the anus about an inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a "come here" gesture. You will feel the prostate gland. Vary the pressure and speed of massage. He may want stimulation of the Lingam as you massage the Sacred Spot. Back off on the Lingam as he approaches orgasm and increase the pressure on the Sacred Spot. Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember a traumatic event from his past. You, the giver, are in a place of trust and intimacy. Allow him to feel his emotions and be very loving, not trying to console or fix him, just let him feel whatever he needs to. Encourage him to scream, cry, moan, sob, if it feels appropriate. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. ENDING THE MASSAGE: If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if he has come close and held back at least SIX times before ejaculating. Holding back six times charges up the sexual battery with tremendous energy. It is then his choice as to where he wants to send this energy -- out with their ejaculate (the prevailing paradigm) or inward for other uses (men who master ejaculation are able to channel this energy into other areas of their being). When he feels complete with the massage gently remove your hands and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want to snuggle up together or you can leave the room and let him drift off into a meditative state. Allow him to fully experience his childlike innocence and magnificent male beauty. Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends and loved ones. Namaste, Jeffery ----------------------------------

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