How To Become a Man of The Cloth by Glenn Gatlin One of few things I admire about organize

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How To Become a Man of The Cloth by Glenn Gatlin One of few things I admire about organized religion is that, despite being completely bogus, it manages to work itself into a figure of authority in almost every community. A man of the cloth commands respect. It is assumed that a man of god is somehow better than the rest of us, less likely to be tempted into sin, less likely to lie on his taxes, less likey to impregnate your daughter. When we really know that their just a bunch of flaming pedophiles. The majority of the people aren't yet savy to this, so you can take advantage of them by becoming an ordained minister, bishop, or pope. Along with your credentials you will get the accompanying tax advantages, as well as the legal ability to perform marriages and funerals. There are also airline and hotel ``clergy'' discounts. Not to mention the fun you can have starting up your own church fund drive. The Charter Ecumenical Ministries in Los Angeles California will make you a reverend in their church for the low, low price of $10.00. Just send them a ten spot and they'll give you the right to declare your home a church. But you say you'd rather be a Bishop? No problem, for $50.00 the Calvery Church of Faith in Rillton, PA will bestow upon you the title of Bishop, with the right to be addressed as ``Your Grace.'' There are no responsibilities and you don't even have to be a christian to qualify. Although not quite as official, there is the Church of The Subgenius. If you've never heard of them or the Rev. Ivan Stang, then you're in for a real big surprise. Send them $10.00 and you'll get more information than your brain could possibly process in a thousand lifetimes. Don't look for any tax breaks from this one. If becoming a Pope still doesn't satisfy your spiritual urge, then maybe sainthood is for you. Traditionally, this is one of the hardest ranks to achieve, not only do you have to perform a few miracles, but they also like you to be dead. That is everyone except the Universal Life Church, who don't really give a damn what you are, if you send them ten bucks - your a saint. In return you will get ``a beautiful parchment certificate with your saintly name engraved on it.'' What a deal! I snagged most of this info from $TATU$ FOR SALE, a great reference book for those of us who need to buy a little prestige. It covers every area of high class you can imagine, and how to manipulate it for your own personal benefit. Among many other things, this book will tell you how to get on ``The Best Dressed List,'' legally change your name, real and phoney college degrees, and how to become certified royalty (It really is amazing what you can buy for a couple mil.)


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