THEM SMARTALECKY SCIENCERS Goldang it, them sciencer folks are goin two far and we ain't g
THEM SMARTALECKY SCIENCERS
Goldang it, them sciencer folks are goin two far and we ain't
goin to put with no more of it! They's bin at it two long now
and us what knows better are goin to make kids hear what we
knows to be true. It ain't goin to make them public teachers
smite em with it at school too, along with whatever smartalecky
kids are there whose smartalecky folks thinks they knows
Them sciencer fellers is always tryin too tell us some bull
what don't square with common cents and what we's always ben
told. Now, you just stand on your feet and look up. Is that
there sun goin around us or not? And then them uppity sciencers
was carryin on about the earth pullin down as fast on a feather
as it does on a brick, when any danged fool can see it don't.
What's about this here folderol about solid stuff is almost all
just empty space? just a few of them atom things whizzin around
in there. You can't even see them atoms and them sciencers get
all worked up about what they reckon is even little bittier
whatchamacallits whizzin around inside them atoms! I tell you
true, if them fancy fellers would just hit thier heads against
thier blackboards they'd find out quick where that empty space
is. It's in thier heads instead of the blackboards, that's
where it is!
But the corker is this evolution stuff. Now all centsible folks
knows what we was told at granpappy's knee and on momma's lap
(just like they was told, and all folks befour them) is the
true story. why else would a bunch of smart old men have
written down them stories way back yonder befour anybody even
knowed what science was? Besides, I heard that all kinds of
folks has forever had stories like that so they must be
somethin to em.
Why, ther's even some really smart folks who got into this
science stuff enough to get some of them degree things after
their names, and they's so a'taken with them old stories that
they spend all thier time showin how wrong all them big
sciencers who get the prizes and awards and honors really is.
They even figered a way to call them old stories science too.
(Like pa used to say, if you can't beet em any other way, just
join em and then whack em from inside their own fence.) I just
read some of them old story scienctist's stuff-what they calls
proof and it sure is a whole lot easier to understand and it's
kinda comfortin to, don't ya know.
Well, I just want to tell them Stanwood, WA (see March/April
issue of Mother Jones magazine) folks to keep givin them fancy
sciencer folks all the trouble you can and keep them old
stories right up there with all the fancy stuff them teachers
is a teachin them younguns of yours, and everyone else's. We
sure do need all the help we can get to make the kids and
everyone keep liking them old stories. Besides, what did them
fancy sciencer folks ever learn or prove, and what did they
ever do for us ordinary, decent, salt-of-the-earth folks? Even
if they didn't start out to, they're messiin up our stories and
we's just gotta outdo em!
By Jim bullion
E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank