THEM SMARTALECKY SCIENCERS Goldang it, them sciencer folks are goin two far and we ain't g

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Skeptic Tank!

THEM SMARTALECKY SCIENCERS Goldang it, them sciencer folks are goin two far and we ain't goin to put with no more of it! They's bin at it two long now and us what knows better are goin to make kids hear what we knows to be true. It ain't goin to make them public teachers smite em with it at school too, along with whatever smartalecky kids are there whose smartalecky folks thinks they knows somethin better. Them sciencer fellers is always tryin too tell us some bull what don't square with common cents and what we's always ben told. Now, you just stand on your feet and look up. Is that there sun goin around us or not? And then them uppity sciencers was carryin on about the earth pullin down as fast on a feather as it does on a brick, when any danged fool can see it don't. What's about this here folderol about solid stuff is almost all just empty space? just a few of them atom things whizzin around in there. You can't even see them atoms and them sciencers get all worked up about what they reckon is even little bittier whatchamacallits whizzin around inside them atoms! I tell you true, if them fancy fellers would just hit thier heads against thier blackboards they'd find out quick where that empty space is. It's in thier heads instead of the blackboards, that's where it is! But the corker is this evolution stuff. Now all centsible folks knows what we was told at granpappy's knee and on momma's lap (just like they was told, and all folks befour them) is the true story. why else would a bunch of smart old men have written down them stories way back yonder befour anybody even knowed what science was? Besides, I heard that all kinds of folks has forever had stories like that so they must be somethin to em. Why, ther's even some really smart folks who got into this science stuff enough to get some of them degree things after their names, and they's so a'taken with them old stories that they spend all thier time showin how wrong all them big sciencers who get the prizes and awards and honors really is. They even figered a way to call them old stories science too. (Like pa used to say, if you can't beet em any other way, just join em and then whack em from inside their own fence.) I just read some of them old story scienctist's stuff-what they calls proof and it sure is a whole lot easier to understand and it's kinda comfortin to, don't ya know. Well, I just want to tell them Stanwood, WA (see March/April issue of Mother Jones magazine) folks to keep givin them fancy sciencer folks all the trouble you can and keep them old stories right up there with all the fancy stuff them teachers is a teachin them younguns of yours, and everyone else's. We sure do need all the help we can get to make the kids and everyone keep liking them old stories. Besides, what did them fancy sciencer folks ever learn or prove, and what did they ever do for us ordinary, decent, salt-of-the-earth folks? Even if they didn't start out to, they're messiin up our stories and we's just gotta outdo em! By Jim bullion

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