To: All Nov1793 03:47PM Subject: Special Theory of Bureaucratic Creation Proposed by Mark

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From: Mark Schnitzius To: All Nov-17-93 03:47PM Subject: Special Theory of Bureaucratic Creation Organization: University of Central Florida From: (Mark Schnitzius) Message-ID: <2ced67$> Newsgroups: Proposed by Mark Schnitzius Standard creationist models claim a common designer as the cause for similarities between life forms, but have a difficult time explaining the hierarchical structure of this biological diversity, as evidenced by morphological and genetic analysis done by smarty- pants evilutionists. In this document I propose an alternate creation theory which explains these pheno- mena without having to invoke Godless evolutionary dogma. I call my theory the Special Theory of Bureau- cratic Creationism. -=()=- God, in his wisdom, delegates. It all started with inter-office memos He sent out to His angelic minions, like "Let the earth put forth vegetation" (Gen 1:10) to the Flora division, and "Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind" (Gen 1:20) to the Fauna division. -=()=- These divisions are now subdivided into a large, complex bureaucracy, which, at its lowest levels, is responsible for the creation of individual species. Designs, of course, are passed down from higher-ups in the bureaucracy in a specially coded form (DNA). Lower divisions modify the design slightly at each level. -=()=- Design mistakes, of course, are easy to explain under this theory. Perhaps you've heard the phrase "a camel is a horse designed by a committee"? Well, what better than bureaucratic chaos to explain the haphazard, slipshod design we see on many life forms? Who, besides a brain-dead civil servant, would propose mounting the photo-cells in our eyes backwards? Or running the urethra on male humans directly through the prostate? -=()=- Since the Department of Life had grown very large and employed a high number of angels, God continued the funding, and designs grew more and more complex. In fact, there is direct evidence that many poor designs have been tried and rejected, and dumped on the scrap-heap scientists call the fossil record. -- So, waddaya think? Does this qualify for any cash? I thought this up at the local pub, so if I win, I promise I'll put it towards further research.... :-) Mark


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