+quot;Transcript of the KAOS shows+quot; [a transcript of a recording of a particular Radi

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"Transcript of the KAOS shows" [a transcript of a recording of a particular Radio KAOS show, from gerhard@jason.nl ( Gerhard Den Hollander), ] < Phone in session unfortunately not on my tape> Jim Ladd: Thank you for your call, allright, since we have the guy here who brought us, we might as well do something, now before we gonna do that, let me introduce you to one of the intrinsical? parts of the bleeding heart band. This is a gentleman who has a solo album out on his own , which is doing quite well. He is the keyboardist for the Bleeding Heart Band, he was in a group called Ace on time, also Squeeze and most recently Mike and the Mechanics. Will you please welcome the keyboard player of the Bleeding Heart Band, mr Paul Carrack [TEMPTED <(c) Paul Carrack>] Ladies and gentleman Paul Carrack < band enters the stage > So for the very last time, we are about to link up with the satelite , we will begin the last show of the Radio KAOS tour with one more telephone call, this one from outside london B:- Hello, I'm Billy J:- Yes B:- I hear Radio Waves in my head J:- You hear Radio Waves in your head, Ok is there a request that you have tonight for KAOS? [RADIO WAVES] J:- That was a song called Radio Waves by RW &TBHB You're listening to a live satelite broadcast, from KAOS on the road and we've got Billy on the line B:- I'm from the valley's J:- You're from the Valley ? B:- No Jim you schmuck, the valleyS J:- Ja The Valleys B:- Wales, Male voice choires J:- Ah whales England, now is this sperm or bluetip ? B:- Ha Ha Ha Ha very funny Jim J:- Sorry, but obviously when you were put together batteries were not included, is that why your voice sounds like eh. ~~~~ B:- I'll show you Jim < Bleeps, intro from WTTM > J:- Look all of that aside, I'm just glad that you're with us tonight, Welcome To The Machine [WELCOME TO THE MACHINE] KAOS on the road, Let's go back to the telephones now, while you were listening to that last song, Billy and I were having a conversation and he was explaining me how he was able to call me here at the station B:- I was able to use the cordless phone Jim, otherwise I would be completely incommunicado J:- Ahah, yeah B:- I can hack my way into anywhere I choose J:- Let me get this straight, you can hack your way into... B:- See that light bulb next of you J:- Yes ? B:- Information is power Jim, J:- Information is power, I like that But let me get this straight, you've just moved out to LA and you're living with you're great uncle david You're a long way form home pal < music of WNI starting> B:- I miss the male voice choires and Molly J:- Who's molly B:- Benny's wife J:- Who's benny B:- Me and Ben went out [ WHO NEEDS INFORMATION] Australia has protested against Ethiopea about the seizure of a ship from Australia carrying relief aid from australia, part of its cargo was destined for the rebel controlled area of eritrea and Tigre Confisques <> ...... about weapons. Obviously if we are producing things that we cannot need, that we cannot even justify to our own people, the we are going to supply them to others And when that happens then we're fuelling war <> 20% of the worlds scientists are involved in weaponsresearch 25%of R&D worldwide goes on weapons 50 [15??]% off all british government R&D is on weapons more financial and intelectual recources are devoted to weapons worldwide [MONEY] A nice version of money and Paul Carrack on vocals by the way And now a word from one of our sponsors: - Girls are you tired of your boring job, getting crazy by your dreed of a boss who has you running for coffee all day? Well here's the answer: << The professional BIMBO-school >> From the Rosemary Wood Tape it in technique to the fine art of shredding, we'll teach you everything you need to know: How to frost your hair how to respond to a senate sub commitee How to stab yourself with a fingernail in your palm, to release inarterial blood, We tell you allmost all about your moronic beautifull employer We'll arrange for scarcely clad photo's to appear unauthorized in sleazy magazines We find a former best friend to rat on you We'll even arrange for you to find GOD write a book, and to do lecture tours in your declining years. You don't have to know how to type letters, You don't even have to know how to turn over letters The time is right for American women and you will now become a << BIMBO GRADUATE >> just call 976-BIMBO **now** R:- Einz zvei drei anger [IN THE FLESH!] [HAVE A CIGAR] [PIGS III different ones] [WISH YOU WERE HERE] Mel Collins [MOTHER] J:- Wembley I give you the words and the music of Roger Waters! Unbelievable set of songs, doesn't matter which side of the atlantic your on In that set we heard : Mother from an album entitled The Wall, Title track from Wish You Were Here, Pigs from the Animals album, Have a Cigar also from Wish You Were Here, and we began with In The Flesh Part II also from The Wall. You & I are listening to Radio KAOS < jingle> OK' let's get back to Billy Billy....., Yooh Billy? B:- I'm sorry Jim, I was miles away, keeping an eye on molly J:- You were keeping an eye on Molly, I thought Molly lived in Wales B:- I had hacked my way into a surveillance satelite I can see whole wales from 500 Miles high Jim J:- Let me get this straight, You're trying to tell me that you can keep an eye on Molly by hacking into a government satelite come on [MOLLY'S SONG Hold tight Baby, baby dear in the starlight, there is a glow in the stars tonight, it's moving, it could be your satelite.. Is it burn deep, Then will it bring me closer to thee Oooh 2 heartsd Ohh will it keep us apart Whooooo Billy,Billy,Billy, When you're coming home cause I need you back, and I want you back right now, right here Whooooooo Billy,Billy,Billy, where did we go ?? And it's not all that bad And I now your hearts though And I want you to know I'm here for you ?? Whoo Whoo Whoo Billy,Billy,Billy, when you're coming home And it's not all that bad and I know your hearts through ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ooohoohoo Ohhohohohohoh Goodbye little spy in the sky, they say that camera's don't lie, Am I happy, am I sad, am I good , am I bad Oh Billy, Billy, come home Ooooh I need you, Yeaheahheah ] Lady's and gentlemen miss Doreen chanter Well Billy, if you really are as clever as you say, perhaps you can close the door thank you [ME OR HIM] And now for some live rock'n'roll at K.A.O.S. where rock'n'roll comes out of chaos in a song called The Powers That Be [THE POWERS THAT BE] R:- Thank you we're gonna will take a break for about ten minutes and the we'll be back to do some more J:- Thank you 10 minutes is exactly 10 minurtes, we'll turn it over to our local station Radio KAOS will return in just a moment < Break , the movie, some russians (sound alikes), interrogating someone about UFO sightings> < Sound man > OK welcome back, the people out in the audience truck say you didn't do half bad for an english audience, you were nice and loud and you woke everybody up in LA who were trying to sleep into this, so we don't have to do the first half again so we'll do a few new ones this time So will you welcome back once more the voice of Radio KAOS, mr Jim Ladd J:- Welcome back to part 2 of the radio KAOS show, this is the part of the show where we take a couple of more telephones calls from the audience to find out what you find from the first part of the show, or generally what is on your mind Hello Roger how are you Rog: Hello there [Phone in: J:- We have out first caller hear R:- Speak to me -Roger Will you run for president? - What a horrible thought, no -Do you believe the tide is turning ? - Yes and NO (at 2:00 not at the end of the show yes) -Where WYWH, the wall TFC personal ? - Yes -Do you think of MAggie, in the 2nd verse of PIgs ? - Occasionally, also on others ] J:- I like to continue with the second half of Radio KAOS, but first a word from one of our sponsors Hi friends , welcome to forest lawn fawn hall memorial, in todays hitech world of space technology and robotics we at Fawn Hall continue to deliver new techniwues for dealing with the ineviitable. Yes friends I'm talking about the day, the grim reaper knocks on your door of that of a beloved one. Well now, in addition to our conventional mthods of burial and cremation, we offer you <> Consider the adventages of burial of your whole family in the area once solely occupied by uncle Henry under the old method Friends shredding is the way of the future, Fast economical and efficient, so come in today, and see , and ask about the latest methods of burial technology, <> And remember when you think dead, think shred call 1-800-WESHRED today <> [GOING TO LIVE IN LA] We think of it as main street, but to the rest of the world it's known as the Sunset strip [SUNSETSTRIP] We've all been wondering how this next bit was going to play in londeon, you see it's kindof a combination of sexual innuendo and sportsfishing so ... <~~~~~~~~~~> <> LLL LL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN the fishreport with a beatA featuring paraquat kelly and his fishing companion cinthy the fox allright it's time now for the fishreport with a beat ..... 85 red rockhard rocca 35 Naughty bits Marina dildo < Kinda like Rowan Atkinson/Ben Elton sketch "Nobody hear called Jones"> And that'll do it for this edition of the Fishreport with a beat ?- They liked it J:- LAdys and Gentleman on Gtr, Andy The HAt fairweather low this one for our great leader, ???? in the south antlantic [GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OF MY DESERT] [SOUTHHAMPTON DOCK] J:- B:- Hey Jim I've been listening to your show J:- Billy B:- Look what I have found J:- Billy I appreciate your magician with the cordless telephone and all but we're on the air life and you acnnot just cut in any time you want B:- You'll like this J:- Billy B:- I found this in the files on abbbey road studios J:- Allright let's get back to Billy and found out how he is coming along B:- Just getting through some data it must look good <>> 3rd of the amazone rain forest has been mostly for cattle to supply the USA with hamburgers foreach westerner 2 to 3 tress die each year, representing an area the size of england and scotland [NOT NOW JOHN] You will remember at the beginning of the show we had a call from the hall from a guy by the name of sean who wanted to hear more music from the wall well sean this one's for you it's called: ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL [ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL] J:- Allright wembley, there's a fine voice tonight Since we're on the subject of education, in america one goes to school for 12 years, cramming your mind full useless facts called homework, try to please your parents, try tp lease your teachers, and when you come out at the end of these 12 years the lights are on, but there's nobody home [NOBODY HOME] B I'm finished Jim J You're finished billy ...Have you solved the problem, have you come to some sort of decision yet? B It's later than you think J It sure is later then I think,but what's the point B There s still some time < Franatic bongo drums start> I heard that Now the question is what should be done, B it's time to go home J easy maestro What do you mean i5t's time to go home Billy, Easy Billy B It's time to go home [HOME] B: 4 minutes and counting B: I've decided to stop the pain, B: I'm going to push the button B: I'm soory Jim it's the bottom of me Xtra verse: "Everybody needs somebody" "Everybody needs somebody" "Everybody needs someone they call home" "Everybody needs someone they call home" by one of the ladys [4 MINUTES] There must be more to life, then lucky strikes and some unlucky ones, and folded flags and pipes and drums < Taken from the song Folded flags, from When the wind blows> I wanted everyone to know what it felt like, you me and The Powers That Be, will you forgive me Jim ? J:- If you'll swear you'll never fly again [THE TIDE IS TURNING] Includes the lost verse "The tide is turning sylvester We shall not be dragged down in your south china sea, of macho bulllshit and mediocrity" Rog: The bleeding heart band Mr Mel Colins on the drums Graham Broad Jay Stapley Mrs Doreen chanter Miss Katie Kissoon Mr Paul Carrack the inevitable Andy Fairwqeather Low and form southern California, the voice of Radio KAOS, Mr Jim Ladd Thank you Someone:Roger Waters Rog: Thank you, thank you all for calling, we'll see you all again very soon, in about a minute Rog: We've eh OK we've got eh we've got as friend whose coming to night, you, most of you, will know her voice from an album from a long time ago, Dark Side of The Moon, and she's coming here to do some songs with us, Mrs Clare Torey [BREATHE TGGITS BRAINDAMAGE ECLIPSE]

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