HELGUN THE HAIR FARMER By Lucillus Dedicated to the hairy one (Sung to the tune of +quot;N

---
Master Index Current Directory Index Go to SkepticTank Go to Human Rights activist Keith Henson Go to Scientology cult

Skeptic Tank!

HELGUN THE HAIR FARMER By Lucillus Dedicated to the hairy one (Sung to the tune of "NY Mining Disaster 1941") There's a story that I'd like you all to hear It's about a man too dense to show his fear Maybe it's all because of weight upon his head He'll be growing longer hair until he's dead. All hail Helgun, the hair farmer bold When they made him they sure broke the mold Yes, I know, don't remind me, he's my son Why do you think that I'll never have another one? There once stood a tree right in his way And others pushed upon it, then did say: "It's no use, there's no way to push it down Let Helgun try, that silly hairy clown." But mighty was Helgun on that day No mere tree could ever block his way With a mighty crash he felled it to the earth Helgun the mighty had shown us all his worth. But the reason I wonder if he's sane Is the night he leaped over the flames, Twenty or thirty feet high they roared that night And I'll never forget that wondrous sight With his hair streaming down along his back Helgun gathered himself for the attack Where others feared to tread he leapt so high None of the rest of us would dare to even try. When at last he emerged deep from the flames He rolled upon the ground and earned his name And Hendrick dropped his beer to put him out That he was burning up we never had a doubt But Hendrick had missed his mighty leap To find Helgun already on his feet All hail Helgun the firewalker bold When they made him they sure broke the mold. All hail Helgun, the hair farmer bold When they made him, they sure broke the mold Yes, I know, don't remind me, he's my son, Why do you think I'll never have another one?

---

E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank