Subject Dead Milkmen Lyrics (samples) (long) Date 5 Oct 92 200443 GMT Sender bbs@cellar.or

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Path: uuwest!control.spies.com!spies!sgiblab!darwin.sura.net!udel!gvls1!tredysvr!cellar!blu From: blu@cellar.org (Dan Reed) Newsgroups: alt.tasteless Subject: Dead Milkmen Lyrics (samples) (long) Message-ID: Date: 5 Oct 92 20:04:43 GMT Sender: bbs@cellar.org (The Cellar BBS) Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system Lines: 470 Dead Milkmen lyrics, typed by people, who I cannot thank, cu'z I dunno know who they are. Before I break all kinds of copyright rules, let me say, that you should *really* get some CD's/Tapes by this band, they really kick ass, and are quite funny. A.T.ers of all likes should get some... this is only a SAMPLE of some of the songs they have done. ------------- "If you love someone, set them on fire" Know that it would be untrue Know that I would be a liar If I was to say to you that I didn't set your house on fire But its just the way I am, have to take it for a fact Life can really burn you up when your a pyromaniac. (chorus) So if you love somebody let us set them on fire! I went to your house last night, You dad called me the human torch, Got a little pissed at him, So I burnt down your front porch. Now I feel a little bad, About throwing gas on your dad, But you know its hard to quit, And bedsides I started it. I jut brought a brand new lighter, And I can't wait to use it, With a can of kerosine, Its lots of fun, you cant refuse it Oily rags and special things, Not to me the diamond rings, Maybe we can have some fun, Maybe we can burn someone. (chorus) So if you love somebody let us set them on fire! "If you love somebody, set them on fire" Metaphysical Graffiti - 1990 ---------------------- The Dead Milkmen from Big Lizard In My Backyard "Bitchin' Camaro" Title: Bitchin' Camaro Hey Jack, what's happenin'? Oh, I don't know. Well, rumor around town says you think you might be heading down to the shore. Uh, yeah, I think I'm goin' down to the shore. Whatcha gonna do down there? Uh, I don't know, play some video games, buy some Def Leppard t-shirts. Hey, don't forget to get your Motley Crue t-shirt, y'know, all proceeds go to get their lead singer out of jail. Uh huh. Hey, you gonna check out the sand bar while you're there? Uh, what's the Sand Bar? Oh, it's this place that lets sixteen year-old kids drink. Oh, cool. Y'know who's gonna be there? Uh, who? My favorite cover band, Crystal Shit. Oh. Yeah, they do a Doors show, you'd be really impressed, in fact, it goes a little like this: Love me two times baby Love me twice today (short musical pause) Love me two times girl Cause I got AIDS Love me two times baby, once for tomorrow, once cause I got AIDS Wow, Pretty good Jim Morrison impersonation there. Yeah, I hope those guys have a good sense of humor and don't take us to court. Uh, what's the court? Never mind that, (interupts)Oh, you mean like the People's Court? Well, that's another story; the important thing here is you gotta ask me how I'm gonna get down to the shore. Uh, how you gonna get down to the shore? Funny you should ask, I've got a car now. Oh wow, how'd you get a car? Oh my parents drove it up here from the Bahamas. You're kidding! I must be, the Bahamas are islands, okay, the important thing now, is that you ask me what kind of car I have. Uh, what kinda car do ya' got? I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO!..... BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO I ran over my neighbors, BITCHIN CAMARAO, BITCHIN CAMARO, Now it's in all the papers. My folks bought me a BITCHIN CAMARO with no insurance to match; So if you happen to run me down, please don't leave a scratch. I ran over some old lady one night at the county fair; And I didn't get arrested, because my dad's the mayor. BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO Doughnuts on your lawn BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO Tony Orlando and Dawn When I drive past the kids, they all spit and cuss, Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO and they have to ride the bus. So you'd better get out of my way, when I run through your yard; Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO; And an Exxon credit card. BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO Hey, man where ya headed? BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO I drive on unleaded. ---------------------------------- "Bleach Boys" by The Dead Milkmen from Beelzebubba I've got some buddies and we all drink bleach you know we practice what we preach We're not a drunken bunch of frat boys drunk on beer or a stoned bunch of hippies with no careers I wanna drink bleach with a Georgia Peach My pals and I all drink Clorox or eat Snowy right out of the box Teenage suicide rate shot high and we understand the reason why Bleach does more than whiten socks Don't you wanna hang out with the bleach boys baby in a land where ministers murder golf pros? Don't you wanna drink some bleach tonight? Maybe there'll be a party at the beach We'll bitch about life and chug-a-lug bleach No ones getting high and no one's getting drunk we got a case off bleach stashed in the trunk. I wanna die with clorox within reach. I'm very proud of the respect I've earned and my voice is very deep 'cause my throat got burned. Bleach keeps you young so I've been told 'cause no one who drinks it lives to be old Drink it with a chaser is the first thing I learned. Don't you wanna hang out with the bleach boys baby in a land where midgets run for mayor? Don't you wanna drink some bleach tonight? I had 26 friends in the beginning but now it seems our numbers are thinning Some people drive fast others love to bet still others snort coke in a private jet. But drinking bleach is my way of winning. (Bad guitar solo) I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach (x472) -------------------------------------- I Hate Myself Performed By Dead Milkmen Smokin' Banana Peels - the singles I hate myself - hate myself And you - I hate you I hate myself - hate myself And you - I hate you Roses are red and Violets are blue I hate me and I hate you I hate my life and I hate yours I hate my life and I hate yours Let's get together and make a pact Let's get together and make a pact Let's get together and end it all Let's get together in a bathroom stall I - I take drugs, I take drugs And Glue - I sniff glue I - I take drugs, I take drugs And Glue - I sniff glue Roses are red and Violets are blue I take drugs and I sniff glue I hate my life and I hate yours I hate my life and I hate yours Let's get together and make a pact Let's get together and make a pact Let's get together and slit our wrists Let's get together and do the twist I eat lye soap - eat lye soap And stew and I eat stew I eat lye soap - eat lye soap And stew and I eat stew Roses are red and Violets are blue I take eat soap and I eat stew I hate my life and I hate yours I hate my life and I hate yours Let's get together and make a pact Let's get together and make a pact Let's get together and end it all Let's get together in a bathroom stall ----------------------------- "Instant Club Hit (You'll Dance to Anything)" By the Dead Milkmen from Bucky Felinni (also off the single) She'll dance to anything You'll dance to anything Okay, look at you Don't you look like Siouxsie Sioux How long did it take to get that way What a terrible waste of energy You wear black clothes say you're poetic The sad truth is you're just pathetic Get into the groove get out of my way I came here to drink not to get laid So why don't you just go on home If you want to moan you'll have to moan alone You'll dance to anything... You'll dance to anything... Don't try to tell me that you're an intellectual Cause you're just another born bisexual ("I met Andy Warhol at a really chic party") Blow it out your hair cause you work at Hardees 80 pounds of make up on your art school skin 80 points of I.Q. located within Know what you are? You're a bunch of ... Artfags! Artfags! Choke on this you dance-a-teria types! You'll dance to anything by the Communards You'll dance to anything by Book of Love You'll dance to anything by The Smiths You'll dance to anything by De-peche Mode You'll dance to anything by Public Image Limited You'll dance to anything by Naked Truth You'll dance to anything by any bunch of stupid Europeans who come over here with their big hairdos bent on taking OUR money instead of giving your cash, where it belongs, to a decent American artist like myself! You'll dance to anythIng! ---------------------------------- "Stuart" The Dead Milkmen from - Beelizabubba You know what Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people here in the trailer park. Oh, don't get me wrong. They're fine people. Good Americans. But, they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're good fine people, Stuart but they don't know, what the queers are doing to the soil. You know that Johnny Wurster kid, the kid who delivers papers in the neighborhood? He's a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrough owl "Dad, get me a burrough owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live". So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrough owl. Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out into my yard. And there's the Wurster kid looking up in the tree. I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrough owl". I said, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. Everyone knows that a burrough owl lives in a hole in the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrough owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago. The summer my oldest boy Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year? Well that year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said, keep your head and arms inside the mixer at all times. But Bill Jr., he was a daredevil. Just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey everybody, look at me, look at me". Oh, he was decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone consession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Peublo, Colorodo. And it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil!" Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa, for example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians. I swear to God. You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park. ----------------------------- "Life is Shit" by the Dead Milkmen from Beelzebubba I ran into a friend of mine said was gonna take some words and make em rhyme I said you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can only fool half the people half the time He "Yes I do believe this is true. Would you like to go sniff some glue? We'll fly to where the skys are blue and look for things both bright and true" And on a pretty Sunday morning a bunch of pretty Babtist girls linked ther pretty hands and sang: Chorus: Life is shit, Life is Shit The world is shit, the world is shit and this is life as I know it. this is life as I know it. And in the sky I saw Richard Nixon smoking a lacey with Mr. Dickson He said "Son there's someething I must say I do not believe I've found a better way" And then a vision came and it look a lot life Bob Crane. And Bob sang: Chorus And when my friend and I were done we went to rest upon the sun 'cause life takes from us the thing, we leove and robs us of the special ones and puts them hihg where we can't climb and we only miss them all the time And we sing: Chorus ----------------------------- Methodist Coloring Book Performed By The Dead Milkmen Metaphysical Graffiti You've got a Methodist Coloring book and you color really well But don't color outside the lines or God will send you to Hell 'caues God hates war and God hates crime but he really hates people who color outside the lines You've got a Methodist coloring book don't color outside the lines 'cause if God doesn't strike you with lighning, he'll at least make you go blind Good people get sent to the attic Bad peopl get sent to the cellar But there's a special kind of Hell for those who just won't learn to color God is gracious, God is good so let's color in his book God wears cotton, God wears rayon He can mend a broken crayon God is honest, he don't take payola Let's all thank him for our crayolas You've got a Methodist Coloring book and you color really well But don't color outside the lines or God will send you to Hell ---------------------------- "Punk Rock Girl" one saturday i took a walk to Zipperhead i met a girl there and she almost knocked me dead (punk rock girl) please look at me (punk rock girl) what do you see let's travel round the world just you and me punk rock girl i tapped her on the shoulder and said "do you have a beau" she looked at me and smiled and said she did not know (punk rock girl) give me a chance (punk rock girl) let's go slam dance we'll dress like Minnie Pearl just you and me punk rock girl we went to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea the waitress said "well, no, we only have it iced." so we jumped up on the table and shouted, "anarchy!" and someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox it was California Dreamin' and so we started screamin' on such a winter's daaaaaaay she took me to her parents for a Sunday meal her father took one look at me and he began to squeal (punk rock girl) well it makes sense (punk rock girl) her dad is the vice president Duke of Earl yes you're for me punk rock girl we went to a shopping mall and laughed at all the shoppers the security guards trailed us to a record shop we asked for Mojo Nixon, they said "he don't work here" we said "if you don't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin" we got into her car away we started rollin i said "how much you pay for this" she said "nothing, man, it's stolen" (punk rock girl) you look so wild (punk rock girl) let's have a child we'll name her Minnie Pearl just you and me eat fudge banana swirl just you and me we'll travel round the world just you and me punk rock giiiiiiiiirl ---- (eof) Hope you liked it.. ----- Dan Reed (Blu-Max) blu@cellar.org - AutoCad Geek - VW Lover - InlineSkater 68 Cougar XR-7, 89 VW Golf, 72 Honda CL360Twin, Ti/99/4a, Vextrex, Timex

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