The opening scene from +quot;Monty Python and the Holy Grail+quot; Transcribed from the fi

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**** The opening scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" **** **** Transcribed from the film by **** **** Malcolm Dickinson ( CLARINET@YALEVM.BITNET ) on 12/1/86, **** **** expressly for use of the BBOARD@YALEVM Python Collection **** **** This is Transcript #1 from the movie **** The film begins. Out of a dense fog trots Arthur, accompanied on two empty coconut halves by his trusty servant, Patsy. They approach a castle. Suddenly a guard appears atop a high rampart. Guard: Halt! Who goes there? Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England! Guard: Who's the other one? Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master. Guard: What, ridden on a horse? Arthur: Yes. Guard: You're using coconuts! Arthur: What? Guard: You've got two empty 'alves of coconuts and you're bangin' 'em together! Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. Through the kingdom of Mercia, through... Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts? Arthur: (somewhat taken aback) We found them. Guard: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical! Arthur: What do you mean? Guard: This is a temperate zone! Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house maarten or the plummer may seek warmer climes in winter, but these are not strangers to our land! Guard: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried. Guard: (indcredulous) What, a swallow, carrying a coconut? Arthur: It could grip it by the husk! Guard: It's not a question of where 'e grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could *not* carry a one-pound coconut! Arthur: (exasperated) Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the court of Camelot is here! (pause) Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? Arthur: Please! Guard: (patiently) Am I right. Arthur: I'm not interested! ( A second guard appears on the rampart. ) G2: It could be carried by an African swallow! G1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point. G2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that. Arthur: (extremely exasperated) Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot!! (pause) G1: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory. G2: Oh yeah... (Arthur and Patsy give up and trot away) G1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway. G2: Wait a minute! Supposing *two* swallows carried it together! G1: Nooo..... They'd have to have it on a line... G2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper! G1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers? G2: Well, why not? **** continued in DEAD PYTHON, transcript #2 in the movie **** **** end of file SWALLOW PYTHON 12/1/86 MMD ****

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