Otto Show Written by Jeff Martin Directed by Wes Archer [$Id 8f21 1.1 920424 074959 raymon

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Otto Show Written by Jeff Martin Directed by Wes Archer =============================================================================== [$Id: 8f21 1.1 92/04/24 07:49:59 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $] =============================================================================== > Title sequence =============================================================================== Cut from clouds directly to driveway. Couch :- SLH is on the couch and growls menacingly. The family back away slowly. Recycled from [8F09]. =============================================================================== > Didja notice... =============================================================================== Special Guest Voice Christopher Guest Special Guest Voice Michael McKean Also Starring Pamela Hayden (Milhouse) Russi Taylor (Martin) ... in their tour bus, Spinal Tap were proud of how well their Springfield concert went? ... the spots in the Kwik-E-Mart parking lot are marked ``2 min. park''? ... Otto was wearing Homer's bathrobe? ... the gold and riches hidden under the floorboards of Lisa's room? =============================================================================== > Reviews =============================================================================== Yours Truly {rjc}: Yawn. =============================================================================== > Movie (and other) References =============================================================================== + The Price is Right - Otto watches the show =============================================================================== > Freeze Frame Fun =============================================================================== >> Bart's T-shirt Spinal Tap World Tour London Paris Munich Springfield >> KBBL 102.5 >> Bart's new guitar Free instruction book: ``Guitar Instruction in 99 Easy Lessons'' >> Bumper sticker: ``How's my driving? Call 555-8821'' [Obviously, they don't intend on repeating the Wes Archer phone fiasco.] >> Otto's driver's license ====DMV==S==P==R==I==N==G==F==I==E==L==D===== O driver's license VOUS18213 OTTO MANS [squiggle] +-------+ [squiggle] | photo | Hair: black Eyes: black | | Ht: 5'10'' Wt: 150 DOB: 01-18-63 | | | | OTTO [That's right, he +-------+ x _________________ signed just his first name] Otto stuck his tongue out the corner of his mouth and made a goofy face for his license photo. =============================================================================== > Animation and continuity goofs =============================================================================== Some minor errors but nothing worth mentioning. =============================================================================== > Comments and other observations =============================================================================== >> The (state of?) Springfield driver's license is obviously patterned on the California license. Including the racing stripes across the top and the useless dotted circle in the corner. =============================================================================== > Quotes and scene summary =============================================================================== %%%% Note: All occurrences of the phrase ``Spinal Tap'' should have two dots %%%% over the `n'. In TeX-speak, ``Spi\"nal Tap''. % % Bart (wearing a Spinal Tap T-shirt) tells Homer to hurry up. Marge sweetly % notes that this is Bart's first heavy-metal concert. Homer comes down % the stairs, amazed that his old jacket still fits him. He finds a can % of Billy Beer in the pocket, and drinks it. Marge muses, ``I hope the % Spinal Taps [sic] don't play too loud.'' Homer responds, ``Oh, Marge. % I went to thousands of heavy-metal concerts, and it never hurt me.'' % Marge's response is drowned out by the ringing in Homer's ears. The % two leave. % % In the car, Homer and Bart catch a news item about Mayor Quimby honoring % ``the aging supergroup'' in a ceremony at City Hall. The announcers then % make an incredibly stupid pun. The car skids to a halt, and Milhouse % hops in, wearing a leather jacket of his own, and no shirt. Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket! Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics! -- ``Otto Show'' % At the Springfield Coliseum, Homer drops the kids off. Homer: Now just meet me back here after the show. Bart: Thanks, Dad. Sure you're not going to be bored? Homer: [chuckles] Boy, some of the best times I've ever had were in the back seat of a car! Heh, heh, heh, heh... [flashback. Inspiration Point. Homer in the back seat, his car springing up and down] Young Homer: [lustfully] Ohhhhhhh.... Oh, baby... [Young Homer eats pizza, hot dogs, chips...] -- ``Otto Show'' % Bart and Milhouse walk past people hawking T-shirts. Check it out, Spinal Tap kicking Mohammar Qadaffi in the butt. A timeless classic. Now two for a dollar. -- Hawking t-shirts, ``Otto Show'' % Backstage, Bill and Marty of KBBL interview the group. Fellas, I'm going to hit you with a phrase that has dogged you throughout your career. ``Washed-up.'' -- Interviewing Spinal Tap, ``Otto Show'' Here you are, among the top one hundred and five concert acts today. What's your secret, guys? -- Interviewing Spinal Tap, ``Otto Show'' We're very big in Bulgaria. And what-his-name, the other -garia... -- Spinal Tap speaks, ``Otto Show'' % In the crowd before the show, a frisbee is tossed about. Bart accidentally % hits the fellow next to him with it. Bart apologizes, but the fellow is % too stoned to notice. % % Bill and Marty ask Spinal Tap to record some promos for the station, but % they are reluctant to say ``Nobody rocks like Bill and Marty on KBBL'' % because it might not be true. ``We don't want to look stupid.'' So they % agree to say, ``Rock-a-doodle-doo, you're listening to Bill and Marty!'' % % The crowd chants, ``Tap!'', while the group complains that there's water % all over the stage. The stage manager explains that they're playing in % what is usually a hockey rink. ``This is a rock concert, not a bleedin'... % splish-splash show!'' Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... Duff Beer, in association with Laramie Cigarettes, is proud to welcome... Spinal Tap! -- Rock concert, ``Otto Show'' % The show goes on, although the spotlights don't always stay on their % intended targets, and the feedback on the audio system is rather % annoying. But things pick up. % % Meanwhile, Homer sits in the car, munching on chips and singing along % with the radio. % % Spinal Tap chat with the crowd, inserting a few gratuitous local references % to the delight of the crowd. The next song begins, and giant devil hovers % overhead. Then slowly deflates... Despite the minor setback, ``We salute % you, a half-inflated Dark Lord!'' The crowd half-heartedly joins in. % % Another chat with the crowd goes awry then the stage hands don't cooperate % with the lighting. So they go straight on to the laser show, but cut it % short when one of the band members gets hit in the eye with a laser beam. % That's the last straw. The show ends, after only twenty minutes. % Otto and Snake are in attendance, and Snake suggests they trash the stage. % A riot ensues. % % Back in the car, Homer continues to sing along, as police helicopters % converge on the scene, and officers in riot gear cautiously enter the % arena. The riot gets local news coverage. Tonight, the city weeps, as for the first time ever, a hockey arena becomes then scene of violence. -- Kent Brockman reports on a concert riot, ``Otto Show'' % Marge hopes her ``poor baby'' is okay, then sees Bart swinging over the % seats clutching a streamer, which breaks. Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's ``The Magic Flute''. So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporters opinion, the answer, sadly, is `yes'. -- Kent Brockman's two cents, ``Otto Show'' % Bart (his shirt sleeve torn off) arrives with Homer, and Bart announces % that he wants to be a rock star. Marge defers the discussion to later. % She asks if Milhouse is okay, and Homer responds, ``Uh, I'll be right % back.'' He quickly leaves and drives off. Back at the arena, Milhouse % (sans jacket and glasses) lies under a pile of folding chairs. ``Heeeelp?'' % % [End of Act One. Time: 7:22] % % Marge tucks in Maggie for bed, and she suggests to Homer that they buy % Bart a guitar since he wants to be a musician. Homer answers that they % already have a guitar. He produces Maggie's toy guitar. ``I meant % a guitar.'' ``This is real!'' Homer bangs it on his head to % prove that the guitar is not a figment of their imagination. % % Marge and Homer present Bart with his own guitar. Homer: Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or ! Marge: Homer! Homer: Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him. -- Feedback of all types, ``Otto Show'' % Bart slips into a daydream. He's a heavy-metal rocker. I'd loik to play me latest chart-toppah. It's called, ``Me Fans Are Stupid Pigs''. -- Bart the heavy-metal rock star, ``Otto Show'' % Backstage, Bart is zonked out. Milhouse says, ``You've changed, % man!'' Bart throws a glass bottle at him. Bart lies on the % floor, complete out of it. Bart returns to reality. ``Cool!'' % % Bart feebly strums his guitar, while Lisa gleefully plays her sax. Bart % tells Lisa to knock it off, but she (teasing) says she was merely jamming % with him. % % Waiting for the bus, Bart picks at his guitar, and Nelson makes fun of him. % The bus arrives, and Otto takes the guitar and plays an awesome lick. The % kids cheer. Bart: I didn't know you played the guitar, Otto-Man! Otto: Hey, that's all I in high school! -- ``Otto Show'' My old man said I was wasting my time, and I'd never amount to anything. He-hah-hah-hah! He-hah-hah-hah-heh-heh! [realizes] Oh... -- Otto, ``Otto Show'' % Otto plays another song for his captive audience. Meanwhile, cars pile % up behind the bus, since Otto left the red lights blinking. Martin % reminds Otto that they were supposed to be at school ten minutes ago, % and earns the wedgie he feared. Otto: Uh-oh. Better fasten your seat belts, little dudes! Lisa: We don't have seat belts. Otto: Well, then, uh... Just try to go limp. -- ``Otto Show'' % The bus speeds off, as the kids scream for their lives. Otto takes % a short cut, through the Springfield Tire Yard, running the Spinal Tap % tour bus off the road (which overturns and catches fire), driving % through a police picnic. (None of the policemen catch the license % plate. ``I didn't think to look,'' explains Eddie.) The bus skids % on its side and comes to halt on (yes, on) the town square, knocking % over the statue of Jebediah Springfield. Otto's bumper flies off, % carrying with it a bumper sticker, ``How's my driving? Call...'' % Large numbers of townspeople rush for the pay phones. The kids % gleefully exit through the emergency door. (``Whee!'') % % Principal Skinner scolds Otto. I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality. -- Otto, ``Otto Show'' % Eddie asks to see Otto's license, but he never got one. ``But if you % need proof of my identity, I wrote my name on my underwear.'' Otto % checks his underwear. ``Wait, these aren't mine!'' Well, that tears it. Until you get a [drivers] license and wear your own underwear, mister, you are suspended without pay! -- Principal Skinner to Otto, ``Otto Show'' % The kids find Principal Skinner behind the wheel. The kids sing a song % (not entirely complimentary to the bus driver) and Skinner joins in. % Skinner waits at a side street for the traffic to clear so he can enter % the main road, but the traffic is too heavy. ``I think you have to be % more aggresive, sir,'' suggests Lisa, but Skinner is sure someone will % stop to let him in. No one does. % % At the Springfield Department of Motor Vehicles... Patty: [laughs spontaneously] Selma: What's so funny? Patty: I was just thinking about the time Homer got his nose caught in the toaster. Selma: We'll watch the tape tonight. -- ``Otto Show'' % Otto approaches the window. Patty explains that she will be testing him. % She grades good deeds with a green pen, errors with a red pen. ``Any % questions?'' ``Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick?'' Patty discards % her green pen. % % In the parking lot, Otto knocks down cone after cone. The last one teeters % for a while before it falls. Otto cheers, ``Awright! Yeah!'' You failed every segment, and misspelled `bus' on your application. -- Patty administers Otto's driving test, ``Otto Show'' % Skinner has yet to enter the main thoroughfare and has become furious. % Ralph tries to resume the singing but Skinner snaps at him. % % Otto returns to his apartment, to find something curiously different... Hey, landlord! Some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door, and put on an eviction notice! -- Otto, ``Otto Show'' % Otto hasn't paid his rent. Otto: Can I at least get my stuff? Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old `Psycho' magazines. Otto: Wow! I have mustard? -- Otto gets evicted, ``Otto Show'' % Bart buys a Squishee at the Kwik-E-Mart and agrees to try Apu's % newly-invented chutney-flavored drink. Bart takes a sip and % spits it out, discarding the drink in a nearby dumpster. We hear % Otto yell, ``Ow!'' Bart: Otto-Man? You're living in a dumpster? Otto: Ho, man, I wish. Dumpster-brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit. -- His summer home is the aluminum recycle bin down the street, ``Otto Show'' % Bart suggests Otto stay in the Simpsons garage. ``A garage? Ho-ho! % Somebody up there likes me!'' The dumpster lid crashes down on Otto's head. % Otto's moan echoes... % % [End Act Two. Time: 14:14] % % At three in the morning, the house rocks awake to the sound of Otto jamming % on his guitar. Homer and Marge go down to the garage to find Bart with % his bus-driving friend. Marge: What's going on? Bart: Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it. Marge: What conversation? Bart: [turns on a tape recorder] Tape: [Bart] ``Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants?'' [bad imitation of Marge] ``He sure can!'' Homer: Marge, what were you thinking! Marge: That's not my voice! Homer: Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape. -- ``Otto Show'' % Homer, Marge, Otto and Bart sit around the kitchen table. Otto doesn't % get along with his parents, so he can't stay with them. Otto: Please let me stay here. I've got nowhere else to go! Homer: Forget it! That lie didn't work for my dad, and it's not going to work for you! -- ``Otto Show'' % Bart begs. Marge: Doesn't the Bible say, ``Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me''? Homer: Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say ``Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut''? -- ``Otto Show'' Bart: Please, Dad? If you let Otto stay, he'll help around the house and chip in a few bucks whenever he can. Homer: All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage. Otto: Wow! What's the catch? -- The catch is, you have to stay with the Simpsons, ``Otto Show'' % Otto lounges on the couch watching ``The Price is Right''. Marge tells % Otto he can't just sit around watching TV, so Otto decides to read a book. % But the Simpsons don't have anything that suits is fancy. Marge suggests % Otto get a job, but Otto explains that the only thing he was good at was % driving a bus, but ``the man'' demands he get ``a piece of paper''. % Marge responds, ``So, get that piece of paper!'' Otto complains that he % tried, but failed. % % Otto plays the guitar in the garage... Homer: Will you knock it off, I can't hear myself think! [the music stops] [thinks] I want some peanuts. [aloud] That's better! -- ``Otto Show'' Homer: Hey, how come you never play your guitar any more? Bart: I'll tell ya the truth, Dad. I wasn't goot at it right away, so I quit. I hope you're not mad. Homer: [sweetly] Son, come here! Heh heh heh... [Bart sits on Homer's knee] Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing! You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch TV. -- ``Otto Show'' % Homer stands in his underwear, banging on the bathroom door. ``I gotta % go!'' Otto emerges and Homer finds the sink overflowing, the drain % clogged by a mat of hair. % % Homer tells Marge Otto must go. Marge notes that he good with % the kids... Upstairs, Otto tells Lisa a scary story, and she screams % her head off. This is the last straw for Homer. ``Listen, you % drain-clogging, last-cookie-eating, collect-call-getting sponge! % I want you out of my house!'' Bart: What are you going to do, Otto? Otto: Oh, don't worry. There's plenty of money out there for a guy who knows how to fake his own death. -- ``Otto Show'' % Marge suggests Otto try the driving test again. I can't pass that thing. I got a zero last time. This time, I'm hung over! -- Otto dreads his driving test, ``Otto Show'' Bart: You can do it, Otto! You're the coolest adult I ever met! Otto: Wow! I've never been called an adult before. ... I've been tried as one, but... -- ``Otto Show'' % Otto reads the DMV booklet. ``Alcohol imcreases your ability to drive.'' [looks up the answer] ``False''!? Oh, man! -- Otto studies for his driving test, ``Otto Show'' % Outside the DMV building, Otto admits that Homer was right. ``I a % bum.'' Bart corrects him. Homer called him a sponge. This pushes % Otto over the edge, and he storms inside. Otto tells Patty he wants to % be re-tested. When asked why, he explains, ``So I can staple my license % to Homer Simpson's big, bald head!'' Patty changes her demeanor. ``Here's % your written test. I'll get you started. E, D, C, A, B...'' % % In the parking lot, Otto runs over every single cone, but Patty doesn't % care. While Otto bad-mouths Homer, he runs over cardboard cut-outs of % pedestrians, but Patty takes no notice. She suggests, ``Let's get some % margaritas, I'm buying.'' % % The school bus skids to a halt in front of Springfield Elementary (knocking % down the `Bus Stop' sign). Yes, Otto's back behind the wheel. He % shows off his drivers license (stamped, ``Probationary''). The kids pile % in, and the bus skids off (running a stop sign). Skinner watches and % adds, ``Yes. Hail to the bus driver. Bus Driver Man.'' % % [End of Act Three. Time: 20:14] % % The closing theme is unaltered. % % The Gracie theme is played on an electric guitar. % % The Twentieth Century Fox logo is unchanged. % % [End of credits] =============================================================================== Episode summaries Copyright 1992 by Raymond Chen. Not to be redistributed in a public forum without permission. (The quotes themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.)

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