Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk Written by John Vitti Directed by Mark Kirkland [$Id 8f09 1.

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Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk Written by John Vitti Directed by Mark Kirkland =============================================================================== [$Id: 8f09 1.2 91/12/10 13:02:46 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $] =============================================================================== > Title sequence =============================================================================== A full second-season title sequence. Music re-done in some parts. Blackboard :- `The Christmas pageant does not stink'. `The Christmas pageant do' at cutoff. Lisa's solo:- very fragmented Driveway :- Homer says `D'oh!' when Lisa scoots past. Homer says `Wooh!' when the car closes in on him. Couch :- SLH is on the couch and growls menacingly. The family back away slowly. =============================================================================== > Didja notice... =============================================================================== ... Phil Hartman voiced the stockbroker? ... the crow calls during the establishing shots of the plant? Dave Hall {dh} points out that we ALWAYS hear a crow call during such shots. ... Smithers was so upset, he gave Homer change, thinking Homer was a beggar? {thf} ... the stockbroker worked in a boiler room? {thf} ... Marge needed a calculator to multiply 100 by 52? ... the $100,000,000 offer was written in German Fraktur? [rhodewalt_br@swam2.enet.dec.com] ... the Simpsons' toaster can toast only one slice at a time? ... the Happy Little Elf on Burns' security monitor? (While Burns' office was a day-care.) =============================================================================== > Mixed reviews =============================================================================== [JYANOWITZ@hamp.hampshire.edu]: All in all, it just wasn't a great episode. David Reid {dr}: It seems I'm in the minority here, but my friends and I thought that this episode was a CLASSIC!!! Homer in the land of chocolate had to have been the funniest 60 seconds of television in many years. Lesli Thorn {lt}: Its--well, its okay. Not much of it was that funny. I gave this episode no rating, no thumbs up OR down. Just a ok. John P. Connolly {jpc}: The story line was missing something. The ending was missing something too. I sat there bored through most of it. I rate it close to the bottom of the list. I say thumbs down. Andrew Tannenbaum {trb}: I thought it was a cool episode. J. D. Baldwin {jbd}: By the standards of the Simpsons it was `Mediocre-Plus', which of course means that by the standards of TV in general it was brilliant. They can't all be `Flaming Moe's' and `Itchy and Scratchy and Marge'. Ron Carter {rc}: I liked the episode, Itchy and Scratchy had me rolling, and those kooky Germans! Just like `Hogan's Heroes'. Yours Truly {rjc}: Of course, we all knew Burns was going to buy the plant back, it was just a question of how. Perhaps the repurchase could've been a bit more bizarre. The laugh-on-the-floor award goes to the list of laid-off employees. Good thing a commercial break came right afterwards so I could regain my composure. =============================================================================== > Movie (and other) References =============================================================================== Henry Weinhard's Private Reserve - People who don't live in the American Northwest would've missed the reference to this brand of beer, brewed in Groening's home state of Oregon. {yuf@sequent.com} - But it hardly costs $20 a bottle. {elm} JFK's ``Ich bin ein Berliner'' speech. ~ Top Secret - Listening to an awful `learn German' tape. Alexander Graham Bell - Smithers, come here, I want you. Photo of Nixon with Elvis - Burns has a photo of himself with Elvis {dr} =============================================================================== > Freeze Frame Fun =============================================================================== As usual all items tagged with a `-' are due to Ron Carter {rc}. >> By the vending machine - Sign over water fountain: Please Do Not Put Foreign Objects In Fountain - Scrawled on torn dollar bill: OIL L-158 >> Burns Worldwide Logo: A `nuclear family' facing a mushroom cloud >> Vanity licence plates - 1ALP216 (Homer's) - LOADED (Karl's car) - ME RICH - JACKPOT - BUY LOW >> The `big' check - Zwei Reihe Typen, Inc. (``Second Row Brands'') [But why `Inc'? Shouldn't it be GmbH? --rjc] - The memo entry: For Power Plant - Oct. 18, 199- - Check number 788 >> The Land Of Chocolate - Pop. 1372 - Fudgetown - Ye Olde Chocolate Shoppe - Homer gets excited about a 50 percent discount, when chocolate is free. >> Carrot Cat Food: 88 percent Ash, 12 percent Carrots >> Battlestar Galactica: 5,000 Pieces / As Seen On The Hit TV Show! =============================================================================== > Animation and continuity goofs =============================================================================== =============================================================================== > Comments and other observations =============================================================================== >> German >>> The title, ``Burns verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' The title is supposed to be German for ``Burns sells the power plant'', but some verb conjugations and article declensions got mangled. It should be, ``Burns verkauft das Kraftwerk''. Tilo Sloboda (sloboda@i41s12.ira.uka.de) adds, ``Otherwise it sounds like a portion of text from a Taiwanese computer manual.'' >>> The meeting in the restaurant Burns: Der Sauerbraten schmeckt koestlich. [The Sauerbraten is excellent.] Smithers: Oh, you never cease to amaze me, sir. Burns: Mein Kriecher sagte mir, dass ich bin nie aufhoere, zu erstaunen. [My lickspittle told me I / never cease to amaze him.] Man 1: Wir denken, wir haben ein sehr gutes Angebot. [We think we have a / very generous offer.] Burns: Du verspielst deine Zeit! [You are wasting your time.] Smithers' sycophantic comments aside, Burns' German wasn't entirely amazing. (1) He mispronounced `koestlich' as `kustlich', and `Zeit' as `Seit'. (2) His second sentence should have ended, ``dass ich nie aufhoere, ihn zu erstaunen.'' As it currently stands, it makes little sense. (3) Perhaps his biggest blunder was saying ``Du verspielst deine Zeit'' instead of ``Sie verspielen Ihre Zeit''. (Or ``Ihr verspielt eure Zeit'' if the use of the familiar form was intended to be condescending.) Nevertheless, it's impressive that Burns can speak German at all. >>> Sycophantic German Not even close. Smithers should demand a full refund. >> Bart's song Andrew Tannenbaum {trb} identifies the song as Teddy Bear's Picnic, a pretty popular children's song. Every teddy bear who's been good, is sure of a treat today. There's lots of marvelous things to eat and wonderful games to play. Beneath the trees where nobody sees, They'll hide and seek as long as they please. Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic. This is actually the second verse of the song, but the format of the final line in the actual song is really: ``Cuz that's the way the teddy bears have their picnic''. In this verse, but using artistic license, Bart sang the normal one (from the first and third verses). >> Miscellaneous The German businessmen had a giant suitcase of cash, yet they paid for the plant by check. So why carry the suitcase around at all? And how would counting the money in the suitcase tell them anything about their checking account balance? (I know, I know, because it was funny.) Nectar is gathered by the workers, not drones. Drones actually just laze about doing nothing. Sort of like Homer without the Duff beer. Ron Carter {rc} points out that they were really playing lawn bowling, not bocce ball. =============================================================================== > Quotes and scene summary =============================================================================== % Smithers washes the hair of Monty Burns, whose spirits are down. Burns % isn't very forthcoming, so Smithers pulls out Snappy the Alligator, a hand % puppet. Burns complains that running the plant is preventing him from % fulfilling his other wishes and is considers selling it. Smithers gasps. % % Homer tries to feed a tattered dollar bill into the vending machine, % with no success. He cries, complaining, ``It's not fair.'' Smithers % consoles him, thinking about Burns. ``I bet he wouldn't sell the plant % for $100 million.'' Homer asks Smithers for change for a dollar. % % At work, Homer takes a call from his stockbroker. Broker: Your stock in the power plant just went up for the first time in ten years. Homer: I own stock? Broker: Yes, all the employees got some in exchange for waiving certain Constitutional rights. -- A fair exchange, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Before the broker can talk business, ``The book says we have to make a % little small talk before we get down to business.'' After some % tremendously superficial conversation, the broker tells Homer his stock % is now 25c a share, giving him $25. Homer eagerly tells the broker to % sell, then dreams of how he could spend the money... Getting a haircut... % Getting the car hot-waxed... Buying a $25 hammer... % % Marge interrupts Bart's viewing of another Itchy and Scratchy cartoon % to switch the channel to the financial channel. Fueled by unconfirmed % takeover rumors, stock in Burns Worldwide has reached a high of $52.25, % closing at $52, making the Simpsons' stock holdings worth $5200. % Bart dreams of how he could spend the money... Driving a car named % Bad Boy Bart... Having a cement truck of Frosty Chocolate Milkshakes % poured into his mouth... Wearing a personal rocket and skywriting % the message, ``Eat my shorts''... % % Homer decides to celebrate his good fortune by ordering a bottle of % Henry K. Duff's Private Reserves at Moe's. For your information, I just made a cool $25 playing the market. Buy low, sell high, that's my motto. I may just quit my job at the power plant and become a full-time stock... market guy. -- Homer makes a killing on the stock market, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Homer spots two German businessmen, who politely complain that American % beer sucks. Homer: Hey, you guys aren't from around here, are you? Man 1: Ach, nein. We are from Chermany. He is from ze East. I am from ze Vest. Man 2: I hat a big company, and he hat a big company, and now we have a very big company. Man 1: We are interested in buying the power plant. Do you think the owner will ever sell it? Homer: Well, I happen to know that he won't sell it for less than $100 million! Man 2: 100 million? Man 1: [opens a briefcase of cash, counts] Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fuenf... Oh, don't vorry, we still enough left to buy the Cleveland Browns. -- Buy one, get one free, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Marge watches the financial news with the kids and her sisters. % Patty surmises, ``Homer is probably buying some magic beans with it % right now.'' We'll have a savings account! We've never had one. -- Marge decides what to do with a stock market windfall, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Homer returns home, and Marge learns he spent the money on beer. % ``You spent $5200 on beer?'' Homer doesn't know what Marge is % talking about until he sees the report on TV. Homer is on all fours % in front of the TV, bawling. Bart kicks him in the butt. % ``Come on, everybody, it makes you feel better.'' % % At the plant, Homer's coworkers arrive at work in shiny new cars, % purchased with the money from the sale of their stocks. Lenny % paid a visit to the plastic surgeon, his face pulled so tight % he has no choice but to smile. One of the other workers calls the % gang over to watch Burns on TV in his limo. Burns is on his way % into ``The Hungry Hun'', denying rumors that he's going to sell it % to a German consortium. ``You'll see the Statue of Liberty wearing % Lederhosen before you see Germans running my plant!'' He's just % meeting them so he can enjoy turning them down. % % Inside, Burns chats in German and tells them he's not selling. But % he changes his mind when they offer $100 million. Man 1: [hands Burns an offer of $100,000,000] Burns: Woo hoo! [dances about a bit] Ahem. I grudgingly accept. -- Driving a hard bargain, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % At an outdoor ceremony, Burns introduces the new owners. % Diamond Joe Quimby adds, ``Ich bin ein Springfielder!'' % The plant workers fear their jobs, even Lenny (though you can't % tell through his clenched teeth). A German flag is raised over % the plant... % % [End of Act One. Time: 7:31] % % The workers are gathered for an informal meeting... Len: Those lousy Germans can't fire me. I'm the only one knows how to unjam the rod bottom dissociator. Karl: Well, they can't fire me. I'm the only one certified to run the gaseous contaminant particular [sic] fire. Homer: Well, they can't fire me! Len and Karl: Why? Homer: Because... [long silence] -- Reason enough, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' Horst: Guten Morgen. I am Horst. The new owners have elected me to speak with you because I am the most non-threatening. Perhaps I remind you of the loveable Sergeant Schultz on Hogan's Heroes. All: Oh yeah, yeah he does. -- Familiarity breeds familiarity, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % He explains that the best way to an efficient plant is to have happy workers % who are secure at their jobs. Horst: Do we have any alcoholics among us? [hands slowly go up] Man 1: Uh, me? Man 2: Right here. Man 3: I'm drunk right now! -- Getting to know you, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' Horst: You will be given a six-week treatment at our drying-out facility in Hawaii, after which you will return at full pay. Len: Oh, great! [general agreement from other employees] Man 1: Hey, maybe I'll marry Elizabeth Taylor! -- ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Homer grumbles, ``Lucky drunks!'' Horst continues, ``We cannot ueber- % emphasize the importance of employee safety.'' He spots a pan collecting % green, glowing water dripping from the ceiling. Horst: We plan to have some frank discussions with your safety inspector. Homer: Hee hee. Yeah. Sock it to him, Horst! Len: Psst, Homer. Aren't the safety inspector? Homer: [sees his nametag, ``SAFETY INSPECTOR''] D'oh! -- ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % In his office, Burns endorses the oversized novelty check. (``For % deposit only.'') Meanwhile, Smithers studies from ``Sycophantic % German'' cassettes... ``You look sharp today, sir.'' ``You looken sharpen todayen, mein Herr.'' -- Smithers studies Sycophantic German, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Burns calls Smithers into his office. He leaves him a photo of him % with Elvis, though he admits that he didn't understand a word Elvis % was saying. His attempt to reproduce Elvis's drawl craks Smithers up. % On Burns' agenda is to get a new hip, then beekeeping, boxing, bocce ball... % He grabs a cane, tips his hat, and heads out. % % Homer comes into Lisa's room, where she is studying. (Duh.) Homer: Lisa, your father needs your help. Do you know anything about Germany? Lisa: Well, it's a country in Europe. Homer: Good, good, I'm learning. -- Teaching an old dog, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % It's also a leading economic power, because they're efficient, punctual, % and have a strong work ethic. % % In the master bedroom, Homer whines that his job is history. Marge % assures him they'll find a way to pay the bills somehow. Marge, it's not the money. My job is my identity. If I'm not a safety whatchamajigger, I'm nothing! -- Homer fears the loss of his job, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Marge suggests that Homer do something constructive, since he can't sleep. % Homer plops a 5000-piece Battlestar Galactica jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen % table, takes two pieces which obviously don't fit, and tries to force them % together. He dozes off, and Bart wakes him the next morning. Homer's % droopy visage blends into a donut-eating visage by the coffee pot. He % spots Horst coming and quickly changes his demeanor. Hey you, stop being... so unsafe! Smitty! Safen up! -- Homer tries to look busy, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' Horst: Homer, could ve have a word with you? Homer: No. Horst: I must have phrased that badly. My English is, how you say, inelegant. I meant to say, may we have a brief friendly chat. Homer: No. Horst: Once again, I have failed. [consults phrasebook] We request the pleasure of your company for a free exchange of ideas. Homer: [runs away in panic] -- Homer fears for his job, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Homer is in the owner's office... Man 1: You have been safety inspector for two years. What initiatives have you spearheaded in that time? Homer: Uh... All of them? Man 1: I see. ... Then you must have some good ideas for the future as well? Homer: I sure do! Man 1: [waits for a follow-up, which doesn't come] -- Homer tries to justify his job, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Homer mentions fixing the candy machine, since some workers really like % their candy. The owner says, ``We understand, Homer. After all, we are % from the land of chocolate!'' Homer muses, ``Mmm... The land of % chocolate...'' and slips into a dream that, as usual, defies description. % He is called back to reality. ``Oh, I'm sorry. We were talking about % chocolate?'' ``That was ten minutes ago!'' % % Homer tells Karl and Len he thinks he did okay. Karl: Yeah, you know, those Germans aren't so bad. Len: Sure they made mistakes in the past, but aah, that's why pencils have erasers! -- The power plant is under new management, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % A message comes over the PA system. Attention workers, we have completed our evaluation of the plant. We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order: Simpson, Homer. That is all. -- The power plant is under new management, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % [End of Act Two. Time: 13:07] % % At home, Lisa feeds the cat, and Marge comes in with a strange hairdo. % ``Lisa did a job on my hair, and we saved $40.'' Marge % tells the kids they have to pull together until Homer gets a new job. Lisa: I made a new bar of soap by squeezing all our little soap slivers together! [holds up a multi-colored ball of soap slivers] Marge: That's very clever. Bart: And today, instead of buying comic books, I just read 'em and left 'em in the store. Marge: Mmm... You shouldn't do that. Lisa: My jumprope broke, but I just tied it back together. Marge: That's good, Lisa. Bart: I didn't take a bath today, and I may not take one tomorrow. Marge: I want you to take baths, Bart. -- The family try to scrape by, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Homer grumbles, ``Who are they to say I'm not safe?'' as he tries to % fish toast out of a toaster with a knife. He looks over to the wall % outlet, which is a multiple-octopus mess. ``No problem here.'' % % At the park, Jasper, Abe, and a third man watch Burns feebly toss % a bocce ball. They laugh, and Burns tells them to get out of his park. % Abe laughs, ``It was worth it.'' % % Smithers is on the phone with Burns, complaining about what they did % to Burns' office. (It's now a day-care center.) Burns tells Smithers % he called at a bad time, but suggests they get together for a drink % later. Burns then hangs up, and we see that he's in a boxing ring. % ``You're going down, my friend.'' ``Yes, sir, Mr. Burns.'' % % The new owners see icky glop seeping out of cracks in the cooling tower % and find raccoons in the consoles. % % Burns is playing beekeeper... That's right. Gather the nectar, my little drones. And make the honey. Honey for your children... Fools! [laughs evilly] -- Burns watches his bee colony, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Smithers stops by, and Burns introduces his bees, including the queen, % which he named Smithers. % % At Moe's Tavern, the phone rings. Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking. Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem? First name, Bea. Moe: Uh, yeah, just a minute, I'll check. [calls] Uh, Bea O'Problem? Bea O'Problem! Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here? Barney: You sure do! [bar denizens laugh] Moe: Oh... [to phone] It's you, isn't it! Bart: [laughs] Moe: Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains! -- ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Marge sends Bart to Moe's to get Homer. Bart gulps hard. % % Bart comes into Moe's and asks a random gentleman, ``Excuse me, I'm % looking for...'' Moe interrupts. ``Wait a minute... I know that % voice.'' Bart expects the worst. Moe continues brightly, ``If it % isn't little Bart Simpson! I haven't seen you in years!'' Moe asks % Bart to sing that song he used to sing, and Bart does so. Burns and % Smithers stop in to find Bart singing and dancing on the counter, and % the bar denizens eating it up. (Moe rewards Bart with a Krusty Bar.) % Trying to fit in, Burns orders a beer for Homer, but Homer snaps at him. Burns: Smithers, who is this saucy fellow? Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. Sector sieben-Grueber, I mean, sector 7-G. -- ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Homer, the rest of the gang, and even Bart mock and abuse Burns. What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? -- Burns learns the moral of the story, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % At the plant, the ceiling collapses, and the repairs to bring it up to % code will cost $100 million. Burns pays the owners a visit... Burns: [begging] Please sell me my plant back. I'll pay anything. Horst: Isn't this a happy coincidence! You are desperate to buy, and we are desperate to sell. Burns: [calculatingly] Desperate, eh? ... Advantage: Burns! -- Reversal of fortune, ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Burns plays hardball, managing to repurchase the plant for only $50 million. % The Germans reluctantly agree... Horst: [threatingly] We Germans aren't all smiles und sunshine. Burns: [recoils in mock horror] Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! [hiding behind Smithers] Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me! Horst: Stop it! Man 2: Stop, sir. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me. Man 2: Please stop to pretending you are scared, here. Horst: Stop it! Stop it! Burns: [brief pause, then resumes] No! They're so big and strong! Man 2: Stop it. Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns. Man 2: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans... Horst: Burns, STOP IT! -- ``Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk'' % Burns throws the kids out of his office and orders Smithers to ``restore % my office, cancel all repairs, and rehire that chap who sassed me in the % bar.'' Why? ``I keep my friends close, and my enemies closer. ... One % day, when he least expects it...'' Burns stabs a doll on his desk. % % Homer gets off the phone. ``Woo hoo! I got my job back!'' % % [End of Act Three. Time: 20:05] =============================================================================== Episode summaries Copyright 1991 by Raymond Chen. Not to be redistributed in a public forum without permission. (The quotes themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.)

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