Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Written by Jeff Martin Directed by W. M. +quot;Bud+quot; Arche

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Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Written by Jeff Martin Directed by W. M. "Bud" Archer =============================================================================== [$Id: 7F16 1.4 91/12/17 14:47:17 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $] =============================================================================== > Title Sequence =============================================================================== Blackboard :- `I will not sell land in Florida' Driveway :- no oil on the driveway. Homer does not shake his fist at Bart. Homer says D'oh! when Lisa scoots past. Couch: :- The family all fit, with Maggie in Marge's 'do. =============================================================================== > Didja notice ... =============================================================================== ... baby Homer has the same amount of hair as adult Homer? ... the director of the orphanage is Dr. Hibbert's twin brother? ... The advisor, when indicating the number six, held up all four fingers on one hand and two on the other? ... the slogan for the Persephone was `THE MYTH BECOMES A LEGEND'? ... Maggie instinctively grabbed Herbert's necktie? ... Bart was cheating at Marco Polo? (See below.) ... Marge is wearing SHORTS on the boat? (Only the second time the first being `There's No Disgrace Like Home') ... when Lisa and Bart are playing croquet, there is a butler standing there? When Lisa makes her shot, she walks over and drinks a glass of lemonade from the butler's tray. (Meanwhile, Lisa and Bart are dressed in the most adorable outfits.) ... Maggie fell only once? (But it was well-timed.) Dave Hall (dave@sys6626.bison.mb.ca) ... Marge is wearing Bunny slippers? (cf. Life In Hell) =============================================================================== > Movie References =============================================================================== Tucker - unveiling a new car model. Damn Yankees - `Whatever Homer wants, Homer gets' cf `Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets' + The Godfather - `As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother.' Twins - Danny DeVito playing a long-lost brother. The Arnold Schwarzenegger spoof in `McBain' helped, too. =============================================================================== > Marco Polo =============================================================================== The rules: 1. The player who is `it' keeps his eyes closed throughout. 2. When `it' yells `Marco!', everybody else must yell `Polo!'. 3. `It' must catch some other player while keeping his eyes closed. 4. Whoever `it' catches becomes the new `it'. 5. Players are not allowed to leave the pool. (Hence, Bart was cheating.) A popular variation is to have a different rule 5: 5. Players may leave the pool. 6. If `it' thinks that somebody has left the pool, he can yell `Fish out of water!' Then whoever left the pool becomes the new `it'. It is clear that Bart and Lisa were playing by the original rules, since Bart had an evil grin on his face as he tiptoed around the pool. =============================================================================== > Quotes and scene summary =============================================================================== % We watch the conclusion of a McBain movie, and Grampa and Jasper boo and % hiss when it ends. Grampa: The screen was too small. Jasper: The floor was sticky. Grampa: The romantic subplot felt tacked-on. Jasper: In short, we demand a refund. -- Complaining at the movie theater, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % The clerk tells Grampa, ``Don't have a heart attack, old dude.'' % And Grampa does. Meanwhile, it is dinnertime at the Simpson residence. ... and thank you most of all for nuclear power, which has yet to cause a single proven fatality. At least in this country. Amen. -- Homer, saying grace, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % When Bart sneaks a bite of a green bean during the blessing, he and Lisa % get into an argument... Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college. -- Homer, threatening his kids, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % So Bart and Lisa resort to `pantomomime' to communicate. The dinner is % interrupted by a phone call from the hospital. Grampa had a mild heart % attack. Grampa: Pull your chair closer, my son. Homer: What is it, Dad? Grampa: Peeyoo! Not that close! Sheesh. Homer, that heart attack made me realize that I'm going to die someday. Homer: Oh, Dad, you and your imagination. -- hospital visit, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Grampa tells Homer something he ought to know: He has a half-brother. % While he was courting Granma, Grampa went to the carnival to check out % the skirts... Hey handsome, wanna `dunk' the `clown'? -- Carnival girl/prostitute, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' She did things your mother would never do. Like have sex for money. -- Grampa, remembering an affair, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % When the carnival returned to town a year later, the carnival girl had % a surprise for him... a baby boy. The baby was left at the Shelbyville % orphanage. When Granma gave birth to Homer... Granma: Abe, I want Homer to grow up respecting his father. He must never know about that, that carnival incident. Grampa: Okay. Granma: Promise you won't tell him. Grampa: I promise. [end of flashback] Grampa: Oops! Forget what I just told you. -- hospital visit, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Homer: This makes me special, Dad. Since I'm the one you kept, that must mean you really loved me. Grampa: Mm. Interesting theory. -- hospital visit, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % In the car on the way home... Lisa: A long-lost half-brother. How Dickensian! Bart: So, any idea where this bastard lives? Homer: Bart! Bart: His parents aren't married are they? It's the correct word, isn't it? Homer: I guess he's got us there. Marge: Mmm... Bart: [singing] Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard bastard! Marge: Bart! Homer: Bart! Baart! -- car ride, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer pays a visit to the Shelbyville Orphanage, to find that it is now % a gas station... Homer: Oh brother, where art thou! Attendant: Take it easy, buddy, they moved across the street. Homer: Oh, hee hee. Sorry. -- looking for the orphanage, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Inside... Director: I know how you feel, Mr. Simpson. I myself have spent years searching for long-lost twin brother. Homer: Yeah yeah yeah. Well, I wish I could help you, but we're looking for brother today. -- visit to the orphanage, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Director: Your brother could be anywhere. Even ... Detroit. Homer: I know he could be , that's why I want you to narrow it down! Please! Director: You know, Mr. Simpson, if you ask me, the city of love isn't Philadelphia, it's ... Detroit. Homer: Well, if you asked me, changing the subject makes you the most worthess, heartless excuse for a human being I ever... Director: Read between the lines, Mr. Simpson! Homer: Oh, I get it! Okay. Here's twenty bucks. Now will you tell me where my brother lives? -- visit to the orphanage, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer finally learns his brother's name is Herbert Powell, and that he lives % in Detroit. Homer goes through a Detroit phone book... Let's see. Powell, Powell, Powell... Pomerantz, Poole, Popkins, Potter, Quigley, Quimby, Randal, oops, too far. -- Homer, looking through the phone book, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer calls all three `Powell, Herbert's in the phone book, with no luck. % Marge suggests trying to call `H Powell', and he hits the jackpot. Homer: Hello? Hello? Stupid phone! [bangs the phone] Herbert: Hey, knock it off. I'm here! I'm just silent because of the emotion involved. Homer: Oh. Sorry. -- first contact with his brother, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Herbert invites Homer to pay a visit... Bart+Lisa: Are we there yet? Homer: Just a little further! Bart+Lisa: Are we there yet? Homer: Just a little fur... Bart+Lisa: Are we there yet? Homer: Just a little further!! Marge: Bart! Lisa! If you don't behave, we'll turn this car right around and go home. Homer: But Marge, I want to see my brother! Marge: Oh, for God sakes, Homer, it's an empty threat. -- car ride, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer gets pulled over for speeding, but the trooper apologizes. ``Sorry % sir, I didn't know it was you.'' Homer goes to a rest room, and a fellow % says, ``Wow! What are doing here?'' The car hits a pothole, and Homer % spills his drink (D'oh!). Meanwhile, at Powell Motors... Herbert: Every day we're losing ground to the Japanese and I want to know why. Advisor: Oh, unfair trade practices? Advisor: Mushy-headed one-worlders in Washington? Advisor: Some sort of gypsy curse? -- board meeting, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' People don't want cars named after hungry old Greek broads! -- Herbert Powell, board meeting, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Herbert: You, what are your roots? Advisor: Well, I guess you could say they extend to when the Angles met the Saxons... [all except Herbert chuckle] Herbert: Or in other words, when white met bread. -- board meeting, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer arrives at the Powell mansion, and Herbert steps out of his limo. % They greet each other emotionally. Holy moly, the bastard's rich! -- Homer, seeing his brother's mansion, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer introduces his family... Homer: And our three children: Bart, Lisa ... Maggie: [falls down] [thud] Homer: ... and Maggie. Bart: Hello, sir. Lisa: Hello, Mr. Powell. Herbert: All born in wedlock? Homer: [whispers] Yeah, though the boy was a close call. -- introducing his family, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Bart identifies himself as `the little hell-raiser', and Homer tosses % Maggie into Herbert's arms. (Maggie instinctively grabs Herbert's tie.) Herbert: While you're here, I want you to make yourselves right at home. Any time you're hungry, any time day or night, Cook will make you anything you want. Homer: Even pork chops? Herbert: Absolutely. We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room... Homer: If I want pork chops any time in the middle of the night, your guy will fry them up? Herbert: Sure, that's what he's paid for. Now, if you need towels, laundry, maids... Homer: Wait, wait, wait. Lemme see if I got this straight. It's Christmas Day, 4am, there's a rumble in my stomach... Marge: Homer, please. -- touring the estate, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % In the pool, Lisa and Bart play `Marco Polo'... Herbert: So, Marge, a little about yourself. Marge: Well, I met Homer in high school. We got married and had three beautiful children. Herbert: Wow. We have so much catching up to do. Marge: Mm. Actually, I just told you pretty much everything. -- poolside, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Bart: Watch me dive! Lisa: Watch me dive! Homer: OKAY, we're watching! Marge: I hope we're not spoiling them... [they dive] Bart: Man, you weren't watching, I did a double gainer with a half... Lisa: Hey, you didn't see what I did, you didn't watch me dive... -- poolside, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer calls Grampa ... A millionaire!? Ooh, I kept the wrong one. -- Grampa, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Grampa begs Homer, `Please, don't do anything stupid!' Herbert takes % Bart and Homer on a balloon ride. Bart: Unkie Herb, can I spit over the side? Herbert: Heh heh heh. I love this kid. Hock your brains out! [Bart spits, as does Herbert] Bart: Ho! Got him! -- in a balloon, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % That evening, Homer makes a phone call from bed... Hello, cook? Sorry to bother you so late, but I got a hankering for some... That's right. Don't forget the applesauce! -- Homer, on the phone late at night, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Herbert takes Homer to his garage and offers him any car he wants. But % none of the cars is to Homer's liking. When he confronts his engineers, % they explain, ``Because Americans don't want'' cars like that. Herbert % hires Homer to design a car. Herbert: And I want to pay you $200,000 a year! Homer: And I want to let you! -- hiring Homer as a consultant, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer is introduced to his team of engineers. Meanwhile, Lisa wants to % go on a pony ride, but Bart wants to go on a boat ride, so Herbert decides % to compromise: They go for a pony ride on a boat. At the plant, % the engineers shoo Homer away. Homer returns home... Herbert: Hey Homer, how's your car coming? Homer: Oh, fine. They were putting in an onboard something-or-other and rack-and-peanut steering. -- first day on the job, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Herbert: Do you understand? Homer: Sort of. Herbert: Homer? Homer: What. Herbert: Answer me again with self-confidence! Homer: SORT OF! -- pep talk, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Homer goes back to his team of engineers and tells them what he wants. % Like a place to put his drink. Not a little cup, but one of those % super-slurpers at the Kwik-E-Mart. And all sorts of other amazingly % tacky things... Some things are so snazzy they never go out of style! Like tail fins... And bubble domes... And shag carpeting... -- Homer, designing a car, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % While Lisa and Bart are playing croquet, Herbert gets a call from his % lead engineer. Hang up, call me back, and say the exact opposite of everything you just said. -- Herbert, to his advisor, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % He then calls Lisa and Bart over and lets them listen to the engineer's % `modified' report. Homer continues to throw his weight around the lab... I want a horn here, here, and here. You can never find a horn when you're mad. And they should all play `La Cucaracha'. -- Homer, designing a car, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' Advisor: What about a separate soundproof bubble-dome for the kids with optional restraints and muzzles? Homer: Bullseye! -- designing a car, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % And Lisa and Bart introduce Herbert to the wonders of animated cartoons... Lisa: The mouse is named Itchy and the cat is named Scratchy. Bart: They hate each other. Lisa: And they're not shy about expressing it. -- ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' To think I wasted my life in boardrooms, and stockholders meetings, when I could've been watching cartoons! -- Herbert Powell, watching `Itchy and Scratchy' ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % At the lab, Homer is hooked up with electrodes and is sent through % a wind tunnel. Meanwhile, Marge is concerned that Herbert is spoiling % the children. Hello there. Do you miss the Antarctic? -- Lisa, talking to a penguin at the zoo, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % When Homer is shown the plans for his car, he tears it up and draws % his own. The moment has come for the grand unveiling... Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed stockholders, members of the press, Your Holiness... -- Herbert Powell, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' All my life, I have searched for a car that feels a certain way. Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball. Now, at last, I have found it. -- Homer, describing his car, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % When Herbert learns the monstrosity costs $82,000, Herbert realizes he's % doomed. Homer gives the horn a honk, and it plays `La Cucaracha'. % Herbert's bags are packed as a crane replaces the `Powell Motors' sign % with `Kumatsu Motors'. Homer: Gee Herb, because of me you lost your business, your home, and all your possessions. I can't help but think that maybe you'd have been better off if I'd never come into your life. Herbert: Maybe I would have been better off? MAYBE! Why you sponge-head. Of COURSE I'd have been better off. As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother! Marge: Mm. Maybe he just said that to make conversation. -- Herbert leaving forever, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' His life was an unbridled success until he found out... he was a Simpson. -- Lisa, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' % Grampa arrives, then says, ``D'oh! I knew you'd blow it!'' On the ride % home, as the car leaves Michigan, Marge and the girls have dozed off... Bart: Dad? Homer: What is it, boy? Bart: I thought your car was really cool. Homer: Thanks boy! I was waiting for someone to say that. -- driving home, ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?'' =============================================================================== Episode summaries Copyright 1991 by Raymond Chen. Not to be redistributed in a public forum without permission. (The quotes themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.)

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