Bart vs. Thanksgiving Written by George Meyer Directed by David Silverman [$Id 7f07 1.4 91

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Bart vs. Thanksgiving Written by George Meyer Directed by David Silverman =============================================================================== [$Id: 7f07 1.4 91/12/08 10:58:28 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $] =============================================================================== > Title sequence =============================================================================== Blackboard :- `I will not do that thing / with my tongue'. `I will not do that thi' at cutoff. Driveway :- no oil on the driveway. Homer does not shake his fist at Bart. Homer makes no noise when Lisa scoots past. Couch: :- The family find Grampa on the couch, who mutters incoherently. =============================================================================== > Didja notice... =============================================================================== ... additional voices were supplied by Greg Berg and Maggie Roswell? ... Maggie falls a total of seven times? 1. after she climbs down from her high chair 2 and 3. following Lisa upstairs 4 and 5. coming into Lisa's room 6. returning to the living room where Homer is watching TV 7. when Bart appears on TV. ... the obvious proctological reference in the first scene? ... right on the word FARCE (which Homer bellows out in classic Homer style) the Bart balloon comes on screen? Perhaps not coincidentally, 1990 was the year the Bart Simpson balloon was added to the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. ... the football announcer says, ``Oh, Kogen's got Wolodarsky open waaay downfield...''? Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky are members of the Simpsons writing team. ... the quarterback's leg is twitching as he lies on the ground? ... Homer has an eight-track player in his car? And it said `Hi-fi' on it, at that? ... all the coughing in the background at the rest home? ... the fanfare Bart hums as he brings in the turkey is the fanfare that Twentieth Century Fox uses? ... when Lisa runs off crying, there's a glass of milk on its side on the floor? (Literally crying over spilt milk?) Patty and Selma had picked up their glasses before Lisa and Bart's struggle, but apparently one glass got away. ... Bart is sent to his room at 4pm? ... when Bart went through the sewer, the graffiti was signed `El Barto'? ... Mr. Burns has peacocks on his lawn? ... Lisa keeps a diary (except she writes `Dear log:')? ... how deftly Lisa climbs the tree? In a strapless dress, no less! [Howard Ship (] ... one of the security guards was reading `Les Miserables'? Dave Hall {dh}: ... when Homer is driving down to pick up his dad, the background scenes never change? ... the door right beside the sign `Thank you for not discussing the outside world' at the rest home has no handle and only swings inward, not out? ... Abe's friend is doing a crossword puzzle from a very thick book? [To me, it looked like Jasper was doing a puzzle from a folded-over newspaper. --rjc] ... when Marge's mother arrives in a cab, the driver gets out and opens the passenger side door, but Marge's mother gets out the other side? ... Marge's mother doesn't use the front door, but walks around to the back door? (Note the turkey decoration on the back door, or is it a door knocker?) ... the turkey decoration/door knocker is gone from the back door when Homer throws out Santa's Little Helper? ... the tiny cup and saucer in front of Maggie? ... the "Psycho" or "The Musters" type house peeking over the drainage pipe when Bart comes out? (Or is it the haunted house from ``Treehouse of Horror''?) ... one of Mr. Burns' guards is reading `Les Miserables' while eating a T.V. dinner? ... when the family is watching T.V., Marge's mother appears to be wearing big thick shoes, or could they be `Army Boots'? ... when Bart's on the roof, you see the outdoor T.V. antenna? Obviously not used. (The position of the antenna sometime changes from scene to scene and episode to episode.) =============================================================================== Freeze Frame Fun =============================================================================== >> Mr. Burns's mansion is located at the corner of Croesus and Mammon. Croesus was the last king of Lydia (560 - 546 BC) known for his great wealth. By extension, it means any rich man. There is an idiom, `Rich as Croesus'. David Tamkin adds: Mammon, derived from the classical Hebrew word for personal wealth, came to be used as a name for a postulated god of greed (or personification of greed) in medieval literature. A typical usage was "worshiping Mammon instead of the Lord." Evidently Burns got to name those streets himself. At least he gave his guards on duty frozen dinners with turkey in them. >> The wrong side of the tracks: "MASSAGE" PARLOUR [the quotation marks are on the sign] LIQUOR PAWN WE HAVE ROT GUT! [Silly sign: `rotgut' is one word.] >> Lisa's room * Poster: End Apartheid Now. * Happy little Elf picture on the wall. * Books on her shelf: Poe Poetry, Ginsberg, On the Road. * Lisa's chair is one of those cool kneel-sit chairs. =============================================================================== > Continuity fun =============================================================================== David Tamkin {dwt} notes that, the opening fast pan of Springfield shows Springfield Retirement Castle a short walk away from the Simpsons residence. Yet in this episode, the Castle is a Home, and Homer has to drive there. Bennett W. Cleveland and Dennis Ward point out that Homer is watching the Dallas Cowboys, yet the announcer says they are in the Silverdome, home of the Detroit Lions. By tradition (since the 1940's), the Lions always play Thanksgiving at home. In the 1960's the Cowboys were also granted that honor. So they couldn't possibly be playing each other. =============================================================================== > Comments and other observations =============================================================================== >> Music >>> The Thanksgiving Day Parade The music for the parade was Sousa's `Washington Post March', I think. It changes to something else when Bullwinkle appears. >>> Hooray for Everything Chris Lipski recognizes the music used by `Hooray for Everything' as ``Get Dancin' '' by Disco Tex and his Sex-o-lettes. ``One of my fave disco cheezee hits from the 70's'' he says. >>> We Gather Together To Ask the Lord's Blessing The ``hit Protestant prayer tune'' {cep} appears thrice as incidental music. 1. when Mrs. Bouvier comes out of the taxi. 2. when Lisa brings down the centerpiece. 3. when the family sit down for their second Thanksgiving dinner. Stephen W. Smoliar ( consulted his hymnal: We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing, He chastens and hastens His will to make known; The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing. Sing praises to His name--He forgets not His own. Roger Lustig ( says it's an old hymn tune from Colonial times, if not earlier. >> Lisa's Poem Constance Stillinger ( points out that Lisa's poem derives from `Howl' by Allen Ginsberg: I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked.... Note the copy of Ginsberg works on Lisa's bookshelf. A copy of Lisa's poem is archived in `The Simpsons Uncensored Family Album'. =============================================================================== > Quotes and scene summary =============================================================================== % Humming `Greensleeves', Marge snaps on a pair of latex gloves and proceeds % to unstuff the turkey. Maggie descends from her high chair and pays a % visit to the living room. Lisa: Mmph. [as Bart muffles her with a cushion] Homer: Bart! Stop fighting with your sister! Bart: She took my glue! Lisa: It's not yours, Bart. This is family glue! Homer: Stop it, you two. This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or I'll take your glue away and then will have any glue to glue with. -- ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue. It's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it. Bart: Oh yeah? Prove it. Lisa: [hands him the glue] Here. Bart: Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue. -- ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart tosses the glue away, and it lands in front of Maggie. She reaches % toward it, but Lisa snatches it before Maggie can mistake it for a bottle % of formula. Lisa heads upstairs, and Maggie follows. Announcer 1: Uh oh, here comes our friend, Bullwinkle J. Moose. Homer: Heh heh heh, Bullwinkle's antler sprung a leak. Announcer 1: Uh oh, looks like ol' Bullwinkle's kinda gotten a taste of his own medicine. Ha ha. Announcer 2: He certainly does, Bill. Announcer 1: Ha ha. Wait, what did... Did what I say make sense? Announcer 2: Well, no, not really Bill. Announcer 1: Boy, now I know how the pilgrims felt. Announcer 2: What are you talking about, Bill? -- Watching the Thanksgiving Day parade, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart doesn't recognize Bullwinkle or Underdog and complains that they % ought to use ``cartoons made in the last fifty years.'' Son, this is a tradition. If they start building a balloon for every flash-in-the-pan cartoon character, you'll turn the parade into a FARCE. [the Bart Simpson balloon floats past] -- Homer watches the Thanksgiving Day parade with Bart, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' [a little meta-humor for your enjoyment] % Maggie makes a dangerous trek up the stairs, dodging a skateboard, frayed % elctrical wires, and other roadblocks. Lisa shows Maggie the centerpiece % she's been working on, ``a tribute to the trailblazing women who made our % country great,'' including Georgia O'Keefe, Susan B. Anthony, and Margery % Stoneman Douglas (who worked to preserve the Everglades). She invites % Maggie to make a contribution. Maggie scrawls on the centerpiece with a % magic marker, and Lisa embraces her. ``Oh, thank you.'' % % In the kitchen, Marge asks Bart to stay out of her way, so he offers to % help out. Marge asks him to do the cranberry sauce. Bart has trouble % finding the can, then the can opener. Then he is unable to get the can % opener to work. It's broken, Mom. ... Mom, it's broken. ... [sings] Mom-it's-brok-en, Mom-it's-brok-en, Mom-it's-brok-en, Mom-it's-brok-en.... -- Bart `helps out' in the kitchen, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Marge opens the can, and Bart slowly lets the sauce glop onto the plate, % still in the cylindrical shape from the can. ``Ah, cranberry sauce a la % Bart.'' Marge asks Bart to put it in the fridge, but Bart has already % left. Before Marge gets to it, the sauce collapses into an amorphous glob. % % Maggie wanders into the living room, where Homer is watching TV. See Maggie, those silver-and-blue guys are the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team. And he wants them to lose by less than five and a half points. Understand? -- Homer, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % The quarterback takes a nasty hit. He's flat on his back. Looks like they'll be feeding him Thanksgiving dinner through a tube. -- Sportscaster on the quarterback's recent injury, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Marge reminds Homer to pick up Grampa, and Homer defers it until halftime. % Patty and Selma arrive, carrying pots of Swedish meatballs and trout % almandine, respectively. Marge is upset that they don't trust her % cooking. They explain that they merely brought backups in case some % people found her turkey too dry. Homer greets the twins and leaves to % pick up Grampa. % % In the car, Homer angrily mimics Patty and Selma's grunting, then turns % on the car radio. Announcer: And now, get set for our fabulous halftime show, featuring the well-groomed young go-getters of `Hooray for Everything!' Homer: Oh, I love those kids. They've got such a great attitude! Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, `Hooray for Everything' invites you to join them in a salute to the greatest hemisphere on earth, the Western Hemisphere! The dancingest hemisphere of all! -- Football halftime show, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Homer `dances' his fingers and shoulders and bobs his head to the music. % He arrives at the retirement home, where their dinner is about to begin. Now, before we sit down to our delicious turkey puree, I have some, uh, happy news. The following people have relatives who wished they could be here today... -- At the rest home, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % He reads off a list of names, and a fax comes in. ``Oh, and Mrs. Spencer, % you too.'' ``Oh, I knew they wouldn't forget me.'' Homer comes in % and drags Grampa away. % % A taxi pulls in front of the house, and Marge's mother comes out. I have laryngitis. It hurts to talk. So I'll just say one thing... You never do anything right. -- Mrs. Bouvier, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Maggie is watching the end of the halftime show as Marge brings food % from the kitchen to the dining table. Thank you! You're super! Be good to each other! -- `Hoorary for Everything' entertains during the football halftime show, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' In the Silverdome, now ablaze with flashbulbs, as `Hooray for Everything' leaves the field! Of course, a stadium is much too big for flash pictures to work, but nobody seems to care! -- Announcer for the halftime show, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Homer tries to get a fire started in the fireplace with a set of bellows, % but isn't making any progress. Marge calls that dinner is ready (``The % hell with this!'' yells Homer), and the guests are seated. Lisa comes % down with the centerpiece. Holy moley! That's the biggest... one of those I ever saw! -- Homer appreciates Lisa's Thanksgiving dinner table centerpiece, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % ``Definitely from our side of the family,'' notes Patty. Lisa's % description of the centerpiece is interrupted by Bart, who brings % in the turkey. He tells Lisa to move the centerpiece to free up % ``valuable real estate'' for the turkey. Bart and Lisa struggle % for the centerpiece, which lands in the fireplace. The fire roars % to life. (``Hey, that got 'er goin'!'' observes Grampa.) Lisa % attacks Bart, crying, ``You don't even care!'', then runs upstairs % to her room in tears. Homer: All right Bart, that's it! Go to your room! Now! Bart: Okay, I'll take some white meat and stuffing to go, and send up the pumpkin pie in about 20 minutes. -- ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Marge scolds, ``I hope you're happy, Bart! You've ruined Thanksgiving!'' % % [End of Act One. Time: 8:17] % % Bart grumbles in his room. Downstairs... And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family has experienced. Well, not today, but... You saw what happened! Oh, Lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what! -- Homer says grace at Thanksgiving dinner, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % ``Amen'' says all. ``Worst prayer yet,'' notes Selma. Lisa's sax % playing can be heard downstairs, and Marge goes up to talk to her. Lisa: Mom, I poured my heart into that centerpiece! [which Bart destroyed] Things like that happen in this family. Marge: I noticed that, too. -- ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Marge tells Bart he can come down to dinner if he apologizes to Lisa. % Bart scoffs, ``They think they can starve an apology out of me? Ha!'' % He climbs out the window and down a nearby tree, landing in a patch of % daisies. ``Uh oh. ... I mean, good!'' and starts stomping the flowers % with renewed vigor. Santa's Little Helper is thrown out of the house % for swiping a drumstick. Bart and SLH head off. They find Monty Burns' % mansion. Inside, Burns congratulates Smithers on yet another excellent % repast. ``I couldn't eat another bite. Dispose of all this.'' Burns % indicates a huge banquet table still loaded with food. Though he did % save room for some pumpkin pie, which is cooling on the window sill. % Bart climbs through the hedges, spots the pie, and reaches for it. But % his hand crosses laser beam detectors, and Burns' security are alerted. % ``The intruder appears to be a young boy, age 9 to 11.'' Burns responds, % ``Release the hounds.'' Bart narrowly escapes with his life. % % Meanwhile, Lisa is in her room at her desk. I saw the best meals of my generation destroyed by the madness of my brother. My soul carved in slices by spikey-haired demons. -- `Howl of the Unappreciated' by Lisa Simpson, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart reassures SLH that they'll get food, ``even if we have to pay for it.'' % Bart crosses railroad tracks to the seedy part of town. Cool! The wrong side of the tracks! -- Bart crosses the railroad tracks, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % He spots a sign in the Springfield Plasma Center, offering to pay $12 % for a blood donation. Twelve bucks! Hey, I can bleed! -- Bart observes he can make $12 by giving blood, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' Nurse: Hey, you've gotta be eighteen to sell your blood. Let's see some ID. Bart: Here ya go, doll-face. Nurse: Okay, Homer, just relax. Bart: Ow! -- Bart gives blood to make some money, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Back home... At the risk of losing my voice, let me just say one more thing: I'm sorry I came. -- Mrs. Bouvier makes a rare comment, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Selma wonders when Bart will apologize. ``He sure is stubborn.'' Grampa: Homer was never stubborn. He always folded instantly over anything. It was as if he had no will of his own. Isn't that true, Homer? Homer: [sycophantically] Yes, Dad. -- ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart staggers out of the Plasma Center, a cookie in his hand. Twelve bucks and a free cookie! What a country! [passes out] -- Bart gives blood, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % SLH eats the cookie. % % [End of Act Two. Time: 13:12] % % Two street bums find Bart and take him to a soup kitchen. All right! Twelve big ones and free grub to boot. Viva Skid Row! -- Bart learns about life on the wrong side of the tracks, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Kent Brockman from Channel 6 (KWZ) is making a live news report. Kent: Oh, we have lots of names for these people. Bums, deadbeats, losers, scums of the earth. We'd like to sweep these people into the gutter, or if they're already in the gutter, to some other out-of-the-way place. Oh, we have our reasons. They're depressing, they wear ragged clothes, they're [makes quotation sign with fingers] ``crazy'', they smell bad. Guy: Hey, listen, man. Kent: [whispers] Wait, I'm going somewhere with this. -- Kent Brockman's Emmy-winning news report from a soup kitchen, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % The family are watching the report on TV. Marge: Everyone, Lisa wants to read us a poem she's written. Grampa: Sounds interesting. Homer: Oh, okay. Lisa: Ahem. `Howl of the Unappreciated'. By Lisa Simpson. Ahem. `I saw the best meals...' [Bart appears on television] Grampa: Gasp. It's Bart! Homer: What show is ? -- Bart manages to upstage Lisa from miles away, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' Kent: And how long have you been on the streets? Bart: Going on five years, Kent. Kent: Ah. Son, your family might be watching. Is there anything you'd like to say to them? Bart: Yes there is, Kent. Ha ha! I didn't apologize! -- Bart is interviewed for a television documentary, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one! -- Homer, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Kent packs his things and leaves. ``This reporter smells another local % Emmy.'' One of the bums asks Bart if he's got a place to sleep. Bart % says, ``There's this family I kinda hang out with.'' The soup kitchen % cook says, ``See you at Christmas,'' and closes the doors. Bart finds % the money in his pocket. ``Hey, listen guys, I was thinking. Unless % you feel weird about taking money from a kid, I thought maybe...'' He % gives them the money and rushes home. % % The two cops tell Homer that Bart isn't at the Rescue Mission any more % and ask what prompted Bart to run away. % % The Thanksgiving dinner guests head for home. If I'm not back at the home by nine they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance! -- Grampa rushes back to the rest home, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % In the living room... Marge: Homer, this is a terrible thing that's happened, but we can't blame ourselves. Homer: We can and will! Marge: Children need discipline. You can ask any syndicated advice columnist. -- Worrying about Bart, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart reaches the front door and wonders if he should go inside... He % dreams of being greeted warmly by the family. Marge asks, ``Isn't there % something you'd like to say to your sister?'' Bart responds, ``All right. % I'm sorry, too.'' The lighting suddenly turns grim. Marge scolds, ``No, % no, no! That won't do at all!'' Homer says, ``Yeah, boy. Get down % on your knees and BEG for forgiveness!'' Lisa evilly adds, ``Yeah. Beg % me Bart. Beg me!'' Bart does so, but they just laugh in his face. Marge: Now we can blame him for everything! Homer: It's your fault I'm bald! Bart: [meekly] I'm sorry. Grampa: It's your fault I'm old! Bart: I'm sorry! Maggie: It's your fault I can't talk! Bart: I'm sorry! Uncle Sam: It's your fault America has lost its way! Bart: I'm sorry! All: It's all your fault! It's all your fault! It's all your fault! -- Bart's dream, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart returns to reality. ``I'm sorry all right. Sorry I came back here.'' % He climbs a tree and hops onto the roof. Whoa! My whiffle balls! My frisbees! My water rockets! I've hit the jackpot! -- Bart climbs to the roof, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart plays football on the roof. Meanwhile, Lisa is at her desk. Dear Log: My brother is still missing, and maybe it's my fault because I failed to take his abuse with good humor. I miss him so much already that I don't... know... [sobs] -- Lisa writes in her diary, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Bart hears Lisa's sobbing through a ventilation pipe and invites her up. % Lisa joins him on the roof. Lisa: Bart, what are you doing up here? Everybody's worried! Bart: Really? Did they cry? Lisa: Yes. Bart: Whoa! Bulls-eye! -- Lisa joins Bart on the roof after his brief career as a runaway, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % She asks why he burnt her centerpiece. ``Was it because you hate me? % Or because you're bad.'' I don't know! I don't know why I did it! I don't know why I enjoyed it! And I don't know why I'll do it again! -- Bart doesn't apologize to Lisa, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % Lisa tells him, ``The only reason to apologize is if you look deep down % inside yourself, and you find a spot, something you wish wasn't there % because you feel bad you hurt your sister's feeling.'' Bart gives in % and closes his eyes. ``This is so stupid. I'm not going to find anything. % Just because I wrecked something she worked really hard on, and I made % her cr---... Uh oh. ... I'm sorry, Lisa.'' Lisa accepts the apology. % Homer peeks out from the bathroom window. You know, Marge? We're great parents! -- Homer watches Bart apologize to Lisa on the roof, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % At 11pm, the family are gathered around the kitchen table... Homer: Oh Lord, on this blessed day, we thank Thee for giving our family one more crack at togetherness. All: Amen. -- Homer says grace at the second Thanksgiving dinner, ``Bart vs. Thanksgiving'' % They then dig into turkey sandwiches. % % [End of Act Three. Time: 20:33] =============================================================================== Episode summaries Copyright 1991 by Raymond Chen. Not to be redistributed in a public forum without permission. (The quotes themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.)


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