This is one of the many Pet Shop sketches. Cleese is the customer and Palin is the shopkee

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This is one of the many Pet Shop sketches. Cleese is the customer and Palin is the shopkeeper: C: Good morning, I'd like to buy a cat. P: I've got a lovely terrier. C: No no I want a cat really. P: Ah how 'bout this then? C: Well that's a terrier. P: Well it's as near as dammit! C: What do you mean, I want a cat. P: Look, I'll tell you what - I'll file his legs down a bit, take his snout out, stick a few wires through his cheeks, make a lovely cat that would. C: No no no no no, it's still not a proper cat. P: What do you mean? C: Well it wouldn't meow. P: Well it would howl a bit. C: No no no. Um, have you got a budgie? P: Ah no, fresh out of them. I'll tell you what, I'll lop its back legs off, make good, strip the fur, stitch on a couple of wings, and staple on a beak of your own choice. No problem, lovely budgie! C: Well how long would that take? P: Ooh conversion like that, ah back legs off, stripping, ooh ah Harry, could you do a budgie job on a terrier straightaway? Harry (in back room): I'm still putting the tuck in the airedale, then I got the frogs to let out! P: Friday? C: No no, I need it tomorrow. It's a present. P: Oh long job a budgie. Tell you what, a terrier makes a lovely fish. I could do that for you now. Legs off, fins on, simple metal tube through the back of his head so it could breath, bits of gold paint, make good? : You'd need a big tank! P: It's a great conversation piece! C: Yes, yes, allright, but um ... only if I can watch!


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