MEDICAL LOVE SONG from +quot;Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album+quot; Transcribed

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MEDICAL LOVE SONG from "Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album" Transcribed circa 1984 by Rich Holmes (rich@suhep.bitnet). As McCoy would say, I'm a particle physicist, dammit, not a doctor. Most of the medical terms were checked with either a medical dictionary or a slang dictionary and are probably right. The ones marked with an asterisk either (1) sound like what was sung but aren't in any dictionary I could find or (2) in a dictionary but don't sound like what was sung. Second opinions welcomed. Inflammation of the foreskin Reminds me of your smile I've had balanital chancroids For quite a little while I gave my heart to NSU [Non-Specific Urethritis] That lovely night in June I ache for you, my darling, And I hope you'll get well soon My penile warts, your herpes, My syphilitic sore, Your monilial infection How I miss you more and more Your *dobies itch my *scrum-pox Ah, lovely gonorrhea At least we both were lying When we said that we were clear My clapped-out genitalia Is not so bad for me As the complete and utter failure Every time I try to pee I'm dying from your love, my love, I'm your spirochetal clown I've left my body to science, But I'm afraid they've turned it down Gonococcal urethritis Streptococcal balanitis Meningomyelitis *Diplococcal *catholitis Epidydimitis Interstitial keratitis Syphilitic coronitis And anterior *ureitis.

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