It's a m00se file, obviously
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
Issue #4 | Disclaimer: The Editor will place almost anything | July 14, 1988
---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill ---------------
the issue, so don't blame him for the quality or content of the submissions.
Excepting those he may have written himself, the enclosed items do not in any
way represent the Editor's opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that
as far as this newsletter is concerned, he has no opinions at all. Okay? Good.
EDITORIALS AND LETTERS
There are no real editorials this week. All I have to say is that
Kamikaze has nearly completed the forwarding map for the new distribution
method. Hopefully the map itself will be included in issue #5, and we can
start using it as of issue #6.
Oh, yes, many of you still have questions about subscribing to the
CSNEWS m00se discussion. Issue the following command to CSNEWS@MAINE with
an interactive message:
CSBB SUBSCRIBE M00SE
You will then receive lots of help files that will explain how to
post messages to the list. We can thank Sindex for sending me the command
after I accidentally deleted it.
EVENTS AND NEWS
There was a thr0ng-a-thon in Baltimore this past weekend, which
I attended (hence the lateness of this issue!) My report will be included
in issue #5.
FICTION AND POETRY
No original stuff this week. You may be thinking, "What a dull
issue!" But wait.....there is lots of:
Lots of nonsense this week. This is from Wolverine:
The following article was taken from the pages of "National Lampoon's
Yellow Journal" section and is fiction, not fact.
Millions Cheer As Cher Keels Over Dead
-------- ----- -- ---- ----- ---- ----
The nations of the world are a little closer this month, thanks in part
to the recent death of seventy-four-year-old health-club spokesunit and
Oscar winner Cher, who suddenly degraded into her component elements during
the filming of a new spa commercial.
In celebration of the blessed event, the Palestinians and Israelis have
agreed to peace talks, Iran and Iraq have called a cease-fire, and the
Nicaraguan contras have surrenedered their weapons. Pope John Paul II has
called a special Mass in Rome, calling the death "proof positive of a God
who cars and takes and active part in imporoving the lives of men."
The cause of death has not been determined. The actress/singer/monlith
was last seen entering a hot steam bath. Details are sketchy, although
bystanders report hearing screams of "Gatemaster, give me another year,"
followed by a soft gurgling sound. No remains were found other than a
small piece of tinfoil the deceased often wore as an evening gown.
In a seemingly ordinary letter, to add Damsel to the M00se Illuminati,
Lord Rassilon wrote:
> Amelia Goldberg (AGOLDBERG) aka: Damsel
> also wishes to M00se.
You will notice that Lord Rassilon used 'm00se' as a verb. I hereby
propose that we use 'm00se' as a verb whenever it seems appropriate, but
certainly not to the nauseating extent that those little blue creatures
used 'smurf' as a verb.
Last but not least, Beez sent us this song:
> Here is a song which is one of my favorites but I don't know who
>did it. If you do include it make a note that if anyone has a clue who did
>it, send a message to me. Also, if anyone wants a copy I will bring my tape
>to Camp Relay II: The search for M00se. Thanx.
The Mail order ad song
Fell asleep last night with the TV on,
Oh, what a dream I had.
Drempt I went and answered every single one of those
Late Night Mail order ads.
And four to 6 weeks later,
Much to my surprise,
The mailman came to my front door,
And I couldn't beleive my eyes
When he brought the
Vegematic, and the pocket-fisherman too.
The illuminated illustrated history of life,
Boxcar Willie with a ginsu knife.
A bamboo steamer and a smokeless ashtray,too.
And a tyed-dyed souviner shirt
From six flags over Burbank.
Well the doorbell rang all morning,
And all through the afternoon.
I shook with fright as it rang all night
Under the light of the Mastercard moon.
There was parcel post in the pantry,
UPS in the hall,
COD's to the ceiling,
And I just couldn't pay for it all.
When he brought the
Egg Scrambler, with a seal-a-meal carrying case.
A set of presidential commemorative plates,
So I can eat my eggs off the president's face.
A minute mender and a garden weasel too,
And an Autographed photgraph of Rin-Tin-Tin
At six flags over burbank
Well I realized I was dreaming,
So I gave a rowdy cheer.
But when I awoke, it was no joke,
Cause all that Shit was here!
So if you fall asleep with the tv on,
Let me tell you what to do.
Rip the telephone out of the wall,
Unless you want it to happen to you.
Cause you'll get the
Vegematic, and the pocketfisherman,too.
Illuminated Illustrated history of life,
Boxcar Willie with a Ginsu knife
A bamboo steamer and a needle that will knit or Croqhet,
And A tyed-dyed souviner shirt
From six flags over burbank.
And, of course, another update on the General M00se list. We have somewhere
around eight new chapters, pushing our total BITNET thr0ng to over fifty
chapters, bl00p to you all and welcome! I apologize that you didn't get
personal mail from me, but it's been a very busy week...
Once again, look this list over and let me know if anything looks wrong.
If you told me once and I still didn't correct it, bear with me. I don't
always think straight.
Alaska thr0ng JSJPC1 @ ALASKA Jonathan
JSMDG @ ALASKA Martin
Bryn Mawr chapter M_PETTIT @ BRYNMAWR Midland Maniac
Boston University chapter CLXLAUC @ BUACCA Rorshach
Cornell chapter CBRY @ CORNELLA Ladykate
Lansing, NY chapter B45J @ CRNLVAX5 Half-Elf
Connecticut State U thr0ng CEBELENS_CHR @ CTSTATEU The Red Mage
CLAFFEY_JOR @ CTSTATEU Indiana Joe
PHINNEY_AVK @ CTSTATEU Phredde
WITHALL @ CTSTATEU Hobgoblin
Hartford thr0ng DICKSON @ HARTFORD Pickle/MOON ROACH!
SZIMMERM @ HARTFORD Greymalkin
Haverford thr0ng K_KRAVITZ @ HVRFORD Q.
S_BLINN @ HVRFORD Sean Blinn
Loyola thr0ng MARY_B @ LOYVAX Mary Beth
PAMELA @ LOYVAX Mommydammit
SETH @ LOYVAX Seth
STASA @ LOYVAX Phoenix
Maine thr0ng BURNS @ MAINE Sabre
IO80034 @ MAINE The Dragon
IO80222 @ MAINE RainMaker
RFK350B @ MAINE Guardian Angel
Michigan Tech chapter WJB @ MTUS5 Sindex
North Dakota State U. chapter UD140680 @ NDSUVM1 Nathan Irwin
Penn State chapter WCF @ PSUECL Bill Fenner
Stony Brook thr0ng CHOBBIE @ SBCCVM Admiral Lord Nelson
RRKHAN @ SBCCVM Romel
WALL @ SBCCVM Wall
Sweden chapter ICE @ SEQZ51 Ice
Saunacuse thr0ng EBLIVING @ SUNRISE Eric Livingstone (sp?)
JBANKERT @ SUNRISE CHAOS Engineer
RABEELER @ SUNRISE Beez
RETANTS @ SUNRISE Scamp
LIBLJR @ SUVM Niniane
Towson State U. chapter S76NING @ TOWSONVX Paul
Trinity thr0ng FANTASYG @ TRINCC Trinity Fantasy Guild
OPER3 @ TRINCC Razz
U of New Hampshire chapter J_BUTMAN @ UNHH Oliver
Governor's School chapter GSRHAMBY @ UTKVX3 Cocker
Villanova thr0ng 054649739 @ VUVAXCOM Satoru Ushiyama
188622462 @ VUVAXCOM Kamikaze
193588131 @ VUVAXCOM Wolverine
580074787 @ VUVAXCOM Colin O'Connell
Wesleyan thr0ng AGOLDBERG @ WESLEYAN Damsel
JBLUESTEIN @ WESLEYAN WabeWalker
JVINCENT @ WESLEYAN Lord Rassilon
RSIMON @ WESLEYAN Roanic
Washington State U. thr0ng 24945863 @ WSUVM1 Bard
23480853 @ WSUVM1 Ishtar
Xavier chapter BRUGGMNJ @ XAVIER the WILD ONE!!
E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank