It's a m00se file, obviously

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_ /\ _ _ /\ _ / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ \_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/ / \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \ / \__/ \ M M M O// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \ /__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\ DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S DDDD R R OOO0 P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE M00SE ILLUMINATI Issue #4 | Disclaimer: The Editor will place almost anything | July 14, 1988 ---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill --------------- the issue, so don't blame him for the quality or content of the submissions. Excepting those he may have written himself, the enclosed items do not in any way represent the Editor's opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that as far as this newsletter is concerned, he has no opinions at all. Okay? Good. =============================================================================== ---------------------- EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ---------------------- There are no real editorials this week. All I have to say is that Kamikaze has nearly completed the forwarding map for the new distribution method. Hopefully the map itself will be included in issue #5, and we can start using it as of issue #6. Oh, yes, many of you still have questions about subscribing to the CSNEWS m00se discussion. Issue the following command to CSNEWS@MAINE with an interactive message: CSBB SUBSCRIBE M00SE You will then receive lots of help files that will explain how to post messages to the list. We can thank Sindex for sending me the command after I accidentally deleted it. --------------- EVENTS AND NEWS --------------- There was a thr0ng-a-thon in Baltimore this past weekend, which I attended (hence the lateness of this issue!) My report will be included in issue #5. ------------------ FICTION AND POETRY ------------------ No original stuff this week. You may be thinking, "What a dull issue!" But wait.....there is lots of: ---------------------- MISCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ---------------------- Lots of nonsense this week. This is from Wolverine: The following article was taken from the pages of "National Lampoon's Yellow Journal" section and is fiction, not fact. ============================================================================== Millions Cheer As Cher Keels Over Dead -------- ----- -- ---- ----- ---- ---- The nations of the world are a little closer this month, thanks in part to the recent death of seventy-four-year-old health-club spokesunit and Oscar winner Cher, who suddenly degraded into her component elements during the filming of a new spa commercial. In celebration of the blessed event, the Palestinians and Israelis have agreed to peace talks, Iran and Iraq have called a cease-fire, and the Nicaraguan contras have surrenedered their weapons. Pope John Paul II has called a special Mass in Rome, calling the death "proof positive of a God who cars and takes and active part in imporoving the lives of men." The cause of death has not been determined. The actress/singer/monlith was last seen entering a hot steam bath. Details are sketchy, although bystanders report hearing screams of "Gatemaster, give me another year," followed by a soft gurgling sound. No remains were found other than a small piece of tinfoil the deceased often wore as an evening gown. ============================================================================== In a seemingly ordinary letter, to add Damsel to the M00se Illuminati, Lord Rassilon wrote: > Amelia Goldberg (AGOLDBERG) aka: Damsel > also wishes to M00se. You will notice that Lord Rassilon used 'm00se' as a verb. I hereby propose that we use 'm00se' as a verb whenever it seems appropriate, but certainly not to the nauseating extent that those little blue creatures used 'smurf' as a verb. --Pickle. =============================================================================== Last but not least, Beez sent us this song: > Here is a song which is one of my favorites but I don't know who >did it. If you do include it make a note that if anyone has a clue who did >it, send a message to me. Also, if anyone wants a copy I will bring my tape >to Camp Relay II: The search for M00se. Thanx. The Mail order ad song Fell asleep last night with the TV on, Oh, what a dream I had. Drempt I went and answered every single one of those Late Night Mail order ads. And four to 6 weeks later, Much to my surprise, The mailman came to my front door, And I couldn't beleive my eyes When he brought the Vegematic, and the pocket-fisherman too. The illuminated illustrated history of life, Boxcar Willie with a ginsu knife. A bamboo steamer and a smokeless ashtray,too. And a tyed-dyed souviner shirt From six flags over Burbank. Well the doorbell rang all morning, And all through the afternoon. I shook with fright as it rang all night Under the light of the Mastercard moon. There was parcel post in the pantry, UPS in the hall, COD's to the ceiling, And I just couldn't pay for it all. When he brought the Egg Scrambler, with a seal-a-meal carrying case. A set of presidential commemorative plates, So I can eat my eggs off the president's face. A minute mender and a garden weasel too, And an Autographed photgraph of Rin-Tin-Tin At six flags over burbank Well I realized I was dreaming, So I gave a rowdy cheer. But when I awoke, it was no joke, Cause all that Shit was here! So if you fall asleep with the tv on, Let me tell you what to do. Rip the telephone out of the wall, Unless you want it to happen to you. Cause you'll get the Vegematic, and the pocketfisherman,too. Illuminated Illustrated history of life, Boxcar Willie with a Ginsu knife A bamboo steamer and a needle that will knit or Croqhet, And A tyed-dyed souviner shirt From six flags over burbank. ============================================================================= And, of course, another update on the General M00se list. We have somewhere around eight new chapters, pushing our total BITNET thr0ng to over fifty chapters, bl00p to you all and welcome! I apologize that you didn't get personal mail from me, but it's been a very busy week... Once again, look this list over and let me know if anything looks wrong. If you told me once and I still didn't correct it, bear with me. I don't always think straight. Alaska thr0ng JSJPC1 @ ALASKA Jonathan JSMDG @ ALASKA Martin Bryn Mawr chapter M_PETTIT @ BRYNMAWR Midland Maniac Boston University chapter CLXLAUC @ BUACCA Rorshach Cornell chapter CBRY @ CORNELLA Ladykate Lansing, NY chapter B45J @ CRNLVAX5 Half-Elf Connecticut State U thr0ng CEBELENS_CHR @ CTSTATEU The Red Mage CLAFFEY_JOR @ CTSTATEU Indiana Joe PHINNEY_AVK @ CTSTATEU Phredde WITHALL @ CTSTATEU Hobgoblin Hartford thr0ng DICKSON @ HARTFORD Pickle/MOON ROACH! SZIMMERM @ HARTFORD Greymalkin Haverford thr0ng K_KRAVITZ @ HVRFORD Q. S_BLINN @ HVRFORD Sean Blinn Loyola thr0ng MARY_B @ LOYVAX Mary Beth PAMELA @ LOYVAX Mommydammit SETH @ LOYVAX Seth STASA @ LOYVAX Phoenix Maine thr0ng BURNS @ MAINE Sabre IO80034 @ MAINE The Dragon IO80222 @ MAINE RainMaker RFK350B @ MAINE Guardian Angel Michigan Tech chapter WJB @ MTUS5 Sindex North Dakota State U. chapter UD140680 @ NDSUVM1 Nathan Irwin Penn State chapter WCF @ PSUECL Bill Fenner Stony Brook thr0ng CHOBBIE @ SBCCVM Admiral Lord Nelson RRKHAN @ SBCCVM Romel WALL @ SBCCVM Wall Sweden chapter ICE @ SEQZ51 Ice Saunacuse thr0ng EBLIVING @ SUNRISE Eric Livingstone (sp?) JBANKERT @ SUNRISE CHAOS Engineer RABEELER @ SUNRISE Beez RETANTS @ SUNRISE Scamp LIBLJR @ SUVM Niniane Towson State U. chapter S76NING @ TOWSONVX Paul Trinity thr0ng FANTASYG @ TRINCC Trinity Fantasy Guild OPER3 @ TRINCC Razz U of New Hampshire chapter J_BUTMAN @ UNHH Oliver Governor's School chapter GSRHAMBY @ UTKVX3 Cocker Villanova thr0ng 054649739 @ VUVAXCOM Satoru Ushiyama 188622462 @ VUVAXCOM Kamikaze 193588131 @ VUVAXCOM Wolverine 580074787 @ VUVAXCOM Colin O'Connell Wesleyan thr0ng AGOLDBERG @ WESLEYAN Damsel JBLUESTEIN @ WESLEYAN WabeWalker JVINCENT @ WESLEYAN Lord Rassilon RSIMON @ WESLEYAN Roanic Washington State U. thr0ng 24945863 @ WSUVM1 Bard 23480853 @ WSUVM1 Ishtar Xavier chapter BRUGGMNJ @ XAVIER the WILD ONE!!

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