MOO-JUICE The Organ of the International MOOist Conspiracy Printed + Published by the Offi

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旼컴컴컴컴컴 MOO-JUICE 읕컴컴컴컴컴 The Organ of the International MOOist Conspiracy Printed & Published by the Office of the Cardinal Richelieus 旼컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴커 Theta-2 November 27th 1992 읕컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴켸 The purpose of MOOism is probably not something most of us would try to theorize, although it has been written that it is to burn and to have fun. The classic purpose of religion was to bring people together to break through the human urge to kill all the other humans who are not the same as us. As everyone is different we need something to compensate for this difference. This was the first religion. It promoted survival of the individuals by promoting the survival of the group. (FROM THE SECOND BOOK OF APES : APES) When he had come upon the earth, the ape was naked and afraid. For comfort he picked up a stick, chewed the end to a point, and stuck it in a nearby living thing. When the living thing died, transfixed by the stick, the ape ate of its flesh and soon conceived a great hunger for the death of other living things. Thereupon the ape made many pointed sticks and stuck them into great multitudes of other living things, including, on occasion, other apes. For seven times seven generations of their race, the apes stuck pointed sticks into seven times seven generations of other living things. And there were seven times seven kinds of apes, and of this number there were brown apes, and black apes, And green apes, and red apes, and white apes, and yellow apes. And there were small apes and tall apes, and wide apes, and narrow apes, and thin apes, and fat apes. And swift apes, and slow apes, and strong apes, and weak apes, and clever apes and dull apes. And they all were killer apes. and by golly does this get long-winded... but the apes that were the same gang up and kill other types of apes, but the clever apes kill all the other apes. and these clever apes go on to give themselves names so they can tell each other apart to make it easier to kill your enemies (cuz their all clever apes now) and then they go on to name their race (man, of course). (from the book of apes : names). (FROM THE BOOK OF APES : GODS) so then they were killing things much more efficiently and suddenly had time to create THINGS. and finally somewhere near the beginning of chapter 3 our interest is again directed towards the writings themselves, after the imaginative apes ask all those questions... "Why does the rain not come just when we need it?" "And why is the hunting not always as good as it could be?" "And why does it seem that the grass grows greener on the other side of the valley?" And hearing these questions, the others became quite upset, saying, "We don't know, what's the answer, we're terribly confused." and about now the imaginative ones introduce GODS. and in chapter 4 they become priests and demand sacrifices for these things. And then, in chapter 6, after seven years of plenty, there was no rain, and the wars went badly and so on, and so on. So the priests were besieged, and after 6 weeks... Which was way too long. But at last the priests triumphantly announced that they had an answer, And the people crowded around to listen, saying, "This had better be good." and the priests described how the old sacrifices were but petty change to a god, and that better was needed, and they smiled, and described temples and idols and monuments, with much writing upon them, commemorating the gods... and they described how to do this... And they praised the great, generous Gods who had made the earth and the seas and the beasts of the field, And who had made the cleverest of the apes into a powerful nation of priests and warriors and builders and writers, Which was the greatest gift of all, And which was called "CIVILIZATION". Indeed it would seem that MOOism brings together people of various groupings together under a single heading (which seems to be in some disfavour in Ottawa). For we too have our big apes and small apes and fast apes and slow apes and clever apes and red apes and brown apes. And we have built our own form of civilization, one which we feel is more realistic to our own expectations and livelihood than that of those in the other civilizations around us. (more on MOOist values and purposes in MOO-Juice Theta-3, which will be an appended stream of though essay stolen from Floyd Gecko) MOO-JUICE Organ of the International MOOist Conspiracy


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