************ Topic 5 Sun Nov 19, 1989 DRC.ROA (Forwarded) Sub: ANECDOTES and WAR STORIES I

Master Index Current Directory Index Go to SkepticTank Go to Human Rights activist Keith Henson Go to Scientology cult

Skeptic Tank!

************ Topic 5 Sun Nov 19, 1989 DRC.ROA (Forwarded) Sub: ANECDOTES and WAR STORIES Info on an anecdote involving FBI SWAT TRAINING and a suggestion to start an ANECDOTES and WAR STORIES topic or category here. It would have to be a no names but just good clean fun thing I think. 38 message(s) total. ************ ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 1 Sun Nov 19, 1989 DRC.ROA (Forwarded) I just found an interesting anecdote on SWAT training with the MILITARY roundtable (M155), CAT. 1, TOPIC 17, MESSAGE 6. Aside from that, it occurs to me that it might be a good idea to start an ANECDOTES topic or category here. If we leave out names, dates, and places no one will be embarrassed and everyone could enjoy (and LEARN) from the experiences of others. Who was it that said "Any damn fool can learn from his own experiences, I want to learn from the experiences of others!"? ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 2 Mon Nov 20, 1989 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] (Forwarded) Great idea! In fact, I'll get it started off with a true story that happened to one of our San Jose officers. The officer made a traffic stop on some errant citized for a traffic violation. He walked up to the car with ticket book in hand and informed the violator why he was stopped. The violator disagreed and concluded his statement with the comment that the officer was "full of s**t". No sooner had the words left the violators mouth, than a seagull flying overhead deposited a large amount of white matter on the officers black uniform. The officer looked at the violator and calmly replied, "I guess you're right", turned and walked to his car and headed for the locker room. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 3 Sun Jan 07, 1990 NESTRICKLAND [Nade] (Forwarded) Two Officers were taking three "gentlemen" in custody through an impound lot to identify property; I know one of the Officers very well. The "gentlemen" were some what less than quite and cooperative. During the trip a bird, of questioned heritage, made a large deposit on the head of one of the Officers. His displeasure must have been evident. After an initial laugh by almost all, the rest of the trip was very subdued. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 4 Mon Jan 08, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] (Forwarded) Sounds like the birds have it in for us!! :-} ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 5 Wed Jan 10, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] (Forwarded) Here's another one: One of our San Jose officers captured a burglar in the act. Since his clothing was described by witnesses, it was taken from him in the Pre- processing center and he was given the usual one-piece paper jump suit to protect him from the elements. The suspect was then taken to jail for booking. While setting with other prisoners waiting to be booked, the prisoner setting next to the burglar leaned over and asked him what he was in for. The burglar told him it was for a burglary. The guy then exclaimed, "No wonder you got caught! You stick out like a sore thumb dressed in that outfit!" ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 6 Wed Jan 10, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] (Forwarded) Then there was the officer that brought his prisoner to the Pre-processing area where the prisoner is fingerprinted, photographed and strip searched prior to going to the main jail. While doing the strip search with the 50's "street person" prisoner, the officer began to direct the guy to peel his clothing. "Shirt" the officer instructed. Then, "undershirt", and "shoes". During the process, another officer came in and engaged the first officer in conversation. The first officer turned to his prisoner and said, "pants" and returned to the conversation. A minute later, he turned back to the prisoner who was now standing in only his blue jeans and doing the soft shuffle in the corner of the holding cell. "Just what the hell are you doing" the officer asked. The prisoner responded with, "Well, you said dance." ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 7 Thu Feb 08, 1990 R.EDEN3 [BOB EDEN] (Forwarded) I need assistance from everyone on board here. I am wrig another book, and this one pertai to police K9. Ieed go war stories submitted ASAP as I am on a deadline. The stories can be drama, happy or sad. The boowille a ctual account of each incident, completwith photos of crime scenes if submitted. I need incidenteports, photos, plus background leading up to the incidents if posble. Written reports or recordings submitted by the officers would help greatly. Could everyo please contact their individual unind encourage them to get their issions to me ASAP? Don't be shy, s good PR and will be welwritten. Mt K9 Officers will know me as the authorDOG TRAINI FOR LAW ENFORCEME if they are concerned about credentials. Anyone interested can contact me by phone at 604-594-3122 or by writing me at the following address. Bob Eden K9 Academy for Law Enforcement Box 1526 int Roberts, WA. 98281 I need good quality submissio as soon as possible. Please get this info to every K9 handler you know of. Thanks in advance. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 8 Tue Mar 06, 1990 R.KOOGLER [K1] (Forwarded) I recently worked on a robbery case with one of the local detectives in another town. We finally arrested the subj and I lost touch with the case. In todays mail I received two newspaper clippings of the outcome of this case. Thought I would summarize and share them with you. I thought it was rather funny, but sad that our courts have came that far. #1- An ex-convict was sentenced to 10 years and 8 months in state prison and then released to "take care of personal business" by the judge. The judge also gave him a special inducement to show back up in court for the final sentencing--Subj was told his sentence would be reduced to 3 years and 8 months if he showed back up in court on time. Judge told him that if he fled and is caught later he must serve the original sentence of 10 years and 8 months. #2- Judges incentive fails! Very next day after being released to take care of personal business, subj was re-arrested on charges of public drunkenness and posession of heroin. Judge had him immediately brought from the jail to court and dispatched him to K state prison to begin the full original sentence of 10 years and 8 months. This guy has a three page rap sheet and this trial was on two additional armed robberies. WHAT A JUDICIAL SYSTEM. Russ. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 9 Thu Mar 08, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] (Forwarded) Great story, Russ. Funny, yet so sad. Thanks for posting that one. I'll be using it in my Criminal Proceedure class at college since the section I'm teaching currently is on the courts and this will fit in nicely. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 10 Fri Mar 09, 1990 R.KOOGLER [K1] (Forwarded) Anytime. Enjoy the roundtable. Makes you wonder what is really out there running around. TAke care. Russ. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 11 Sun Mar 11, 1990 EXARSONDA (Forwarded) That's funny! In the great "liberal" state of New York, a second felony offender convicted of armed robbery would get a minimum of 4 and 1/2 to 9 years, 6 to 12 if the prior felony was "violent" (as defined by statute). There is no way he would be allowed out pending sentence to take care of "personal business." That judge should take the needle out of his arm. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 12 Sun Jun 17, 1990 R.BELL10 [Bob] at 17:52 EDT I initially started to put this in the string on EDP's in Cat 4, Topis 19, but thought it might be more appropriate here: Several years ago, I was dispatched to assist a disabled motorist who, according to the complaintant, did not seem "quite right" The location was along our busiest 4 lane highway and next to a business that has a fleet of helicopters. Upon arriving at the location, I observed the sole occupant of the car passively sitting behind the wheel. When I inquired as to what the problem was, he answered that he had run out of gas. I therefore offered to transport him to the nearest gas station to remedy the situation. He declined the offer, saying that he would not be here much longer. He was from another planet and had received word that he was soon to be ordered back to it. As I asked how he was going to get there, I could hear the approach of one of the aforementioned helicopters. Without any hesitation, the driver pointed to the sky and said he was about to be beamed up. I immediately realized the futility of the situation and told him that I would be back in ten minutes, just in case he missed his "ride". After the ten minutes expired, I returned. He and the car were gone. Yes, I checked with the helicopter company; they did not know anything about it! ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 13 Wed Jun 20, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] at 17:23 EDT You obviously didn't notice the UFO hovering just beyond the helicopter! ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 14 Thu Jun 21, 1990 LURCH at 03:22 EDT There is nothing like answering the 911 line and having some guy on the other end complaining about the "great big hairy black trolls running down Duval street, drinking beer and bopping women on the head"... On my first night, too. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 15 Thu Jun 21, 1990 R.GLIDDEN [RON] at 20:15 EDT Did you ever notice how many people "nuts" get arrested only to claim that they are in the CIA? I wonder if any of them are. It must be a career gaol for many ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 16 Thu Jun 21, 1990 R.GLIDDEN [RON] at 20:19 EDT Oh, Oh! Maybe they weren't nuts after all. Their force shields are forcing me to make too many typos :) ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 17 Fri Jun 22, 1990 WIL.TIFFT at 17:43 EDT Ron, just wrap your head in tinfoil and you will be fine. Right Greg? ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 18 Tue Jun 26, 1990 PENNI at 03:28 EDT wrapping the entire head is a waste of Reynolds. A small clump in your shirt pocket will keep away the sputniks. It works! I have *YET* to be assaulted by an alien, the CIA or a Sputnik. (WINK) p.s. old Wrigley wrappers (with or without gum) will serve the same purpose. As soon as I can gather some surplus wrappers and/or foil, I will be xmodeming same to Judge Cunningham...BLESS him! ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 19 Tue Jun 26, 1990 WIL.TIFFT at 10:08 EDT Brilliant! You can even use the chewed gum as earplugs to drown out the anoying hum of the alien space craft. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 20 Fri Aug 10, 1990 ARNIEBELL at 21:29 PDT Reported by the Associated Press Summerville, SC Police have only the barest of clues to investigate a convenience store robbery aided by a scantily clad woman. A woman wearing only panties was accompanied by two men who robbed the U.S. 78 store of $60 worth of beer about 5:30 a.m. Sunday, police say. The woman walked around the store, and while the 49-year-old clerk was focused on her, the men hauled off four cases of beer, Detective Cpl. Al Lapolla said. The clerk told police he thinks the men were white, but he cannot say for sure, Lapolla said. He told police the woman was white but he is not sure about her height or hair color. "The parts of her anatomy he concentrated on he was able to tell us a great deal about," Lapolla said. Asked if the store had cameras that might have photographed the trio, Lapolla said, "It's not one of those stores, darn it." ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 21 Sun Aug 12, 1990 WIL.TIFFT at 07:28 EDT Now that took a lot of "cheek". ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 22 Sat Aug 18, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] at 13:15 EDT Lucky clerk! ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 23 Mon Aug 20, 1990 K8YUW [Jerry] at 18:20 EDT Here, for what it might be worth, is a packet message making the rounds of amateur radio systems throughout the U.S.A. I have no ideas at all as to the authenticity or accuracy of these remarks. When you have finished reading it, you will know as much, or as little, about it as I do. Jerry Murphy, K8YUW @ TANDY RT/GEnie MSG # TR SIZE TO FROM @BBS DATE TITLE 32989 B$ 4240 ALL N3GOB ALLUS 900820 Report from inside Kuwait Forwarding path: WA8BXN NM3G WB8LVP KC8JN KA3NVP W3KDC W3YA K3RLI N3ET N3ACL N3LA WA3TSW WB3JOE KA3PLC Message copied from WB2K who got it from W2JGR. The following message was copied Sunday evening 8/12 by W2JGR from an amateur station in the Middle East. SUBJECT: NEWS REPORT FROM KUWAIT DATE REC'D: 12/8/0908Z TO: ALL FROM: KUWAIT THANKS FOR THE RELAY THE MESSAGES...AND HERE IS A SMALL REPORT FROM MY SELF YOU MAY TAKE AWAY MY NAME AND CALLSIGN ETC YOU MAY SEND TO THE W.P OR TO ANY DESTINATION YOU FIND IT GOOD. IRAQIS AND SINCE MANY DAYS ARE COMING INTO KUWAIT AS GROUPS OF HUNDREDS, AND THOUSANDS... THERE IS NO BORDER AND THEY ARE NOW OVER 100 THOUSAND OR MAYBE MORE INTERING KUWAIT. SOME OF THEM WITH BUSSES, AND OTHERS WITH CARS, BUSSES, AND LORRIES. THEY TAKE EVERYTHING FROM THE SHOPS AND SHOPPING-CENTERS AND FILL INTO THE LORRIES AND GO BACK TO IRAQ. THEY BREAK EVERY SHOPE...ALL THE CARS IN THE WAREHOUSES OF THE BIG COMPANIES, SUCH AS NISSAN, TOYOTA, ALL JAPANESE, MERCEDEZ, GENERAL MOTORS ETC ETC... ALL ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY TO IRAQ.. AND WHATEVER THEY CANNOT TAKE THEY BURN OR DAMAGE. THEY TAKE ALL THE PARTS... SPARES PARTS ACCESSORIES, AND WHATEVER WAS IN THE NATIONAL , TOSHIBA, MITSUBISHI, PHILLIPS ETC ETC BREAKING THE SHOWROOMS AND TAKING EVERY SINGLE AWAY. IT IS A COMPLETE CHAOS.... WE NOTHING TO DEFEND OURSELVES... WE HAVE NO WEAPONS TO DEFEND OUR HOUSES AND CHILDREN AND THERE IS NO POLICE NO ARMY... NOTHING TO BRING SOMETHING INTO CONTROL...IT IS AN ABSOLUTE QUIET-CHAOS IT IS A QUIET-CHAOS .. BECAUSE THERE IS NO RESIST... NO BODY CAN RESIST... AND THEY JUST COME AND TAKE WHATEVER THEY LIKE .... ALL THE FOOD STORES... BEEN STOLLEN....THEIR PUBLIC ARMIES (PUBLIC ARMY.... THEY CALL IT EL-JAYSH EL-SHAABI) HUNDRED THOUSAND OF THEM...FULLY ARMED WITH GUNS ANIT IS A VERY SAD SITUATION FURTHER MORE....SOME PEOPLE OF INSIDE KUWAIT .. BAD PEOPLE TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO WHATEVER HE LIKES... STEELING AND TAKING CARS BURNING ETC ETC... NO CONTROL NOBODY CAN TELL THEM ANYTHING... BECAUSE EVERYBODY WILL THINK THAT DAMAGES BEEN DONE BY IRAQIS ... AN IT IS NOT TRUE... THERE ARE MORE DAMAGE FROM PEOPLE INSIDE....FOR I AS I SAID THERE IS NO RULE NO GOVERNMENT NOTHING TO DEFENT THE PEOPLE OF KUWAIT INSIDE. FOOD AND ACCOMMODATIONS...NOW IN QUEUE YOU HAVE TO STAND IN LONG QUEUES IN FOUR LINES... 2 FOR MEN ANOTHER 2 FOR WOMEN.. AND FOR A BUT THE SUPERMARKETS DO NOT SELL MORE THAN 10 KD FOR EACH FAMILY IN A DAY... THE FAMILIES HAVE NO CASH MONEY, THEY CAN OFFER THEIR CREDIT CARDS OR THE BANK-ACCOUNT-NUMBERS , AND CAN TAKE ABOUT 10 KDAND DISTRIBUTED IN THE SUPERMARKETS FOR PEOPLE TO READ.. BUT ALL THE KUWAITIS...JUST SPITTING ON THOSE PAPERS AND SQUEEZING THEM BY THEIR FEET... NOBODY LIKES TO READ ANYTHING ABOUT ALL WHAT IS WRITEN I DID NOT TRY TO TAKE ONE THEY CALL THE MUBARAK-ALKABEER HOSPITAL THEY GAVE IT THE NAME SORRY I FORGOT THE NAME NOW HI.. BUT CHANGING NAMES ANYWAY... E.O.F. GA LOGOFF 73'S JULES DE XXX YYYYY DURATION: 15 MINS. --------------------------------------------------------------------- ----- I thought that that might be interesting to read. To the best of my typing ability, that is an exact replica of the message that I received. By the way, KD is the Kuwaiti currency. 73 de Jeff, N3GOB@KA3PLC.PA.USA.NA *** END OF MSG # 32989 from N3GOB @ KA3PLC.#EPA.PA.USA.NA ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 24 Tue Aug 21, 1990 T.RECORD at 01:16 MDT Thank GOD for the Second Amendment!! ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 25 Tue Aug 21, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] at 22:03 EDT Thank god for the entire Bill of Rights! Boy, what a mess over there. Thanks, Jerry, for posting the message. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 26 Sat Oct 27, 1990 R.SANDERS15 [Skip] at 02:01 EDT WHAT "second amendment"? That dissapeared in 1965 in California. Got a loaded weapon? You're a crook. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 27 Thu Nov 01, 1990 R.SANDERS15 [Skip] at 00:40 EST This is a Fire dept. funny, but, what the hey... From: fsdjt2@acad3.fai.alaska.edu (tabor dean j) Subject: Vehicle Operations SOP Date: 31 Oct 90 03:30:55 GMT The following "SOP" was generated by my chief in response to a rather asinine directive from our Borough Council. The SOP pretty well explains what the content of the directive was, and it has already become "effective" with several other departments in the area. The chief (James A. Nutt for reference) has granted me permission to post this to the net, and he hopes that other departments in similar situations can benefit from it. -------------------- Cut here -------------------- VEHICLE OPERATIONS SOP The following Standard Operating Procedure will go in to effect immediately due to the recent dictum to emergency service providers from the Borough regarding the legitimate use of emergency apparatus. The Borough has stated that the only legitimate reason for travel by apparatus is to respond to 911 calls or for apparatus maintenance. To comply with this directive, the following SOP has been set forth: (01) Only calls that reach us via the 911 System shall be responded to. Incidents reported by State Troopers, City Police or other emergency organizations will be ignored. Incidents that are reported via other telephone numbers shall be disregarded. Walk-in reports by citizens shall be ignored. (02) The Borough directive clearly states that incidents (911 qualified only) shall be responded TO. There is no specific instruction pertaining to the return of apparatus to quarters. Therefore, upon mitigation of any incident, all apparatus shall be left in place at the scene. Personnel will be required to seek alternate means of transportation back to quarters. The Borough will buy us new apparatus after each incident. (03) Fire hose will be discarded at the scene. No specific permission has been granted that permits transportation of hose for rehabilitation. The Borough will purchase new hose after each incident. (04) All SCBA will be discarded at the scene. Reference Section 03. (05) Tankers will no longer participate in water shuttle operations. No specific permission has been granted that permits travel beyond initial arrival at the scene for the purpose of water supply. Tankers will be abandoned at the scene after their initial water load has been deployed. The Borough will bring us more water. (06) Medic crews will not transport patients to the hospital. The Borough directive clearly states that incidents will only be responded TO, and no specific permission has been granted for travel after the arrival at the scene. Assess the victim, render what care is possible, notify the hospital of patient condition and location and then call a taxi cab to return to quarters. The Borough will come pick up the patient after the body cools. (07) All driver training will be suspended. No specific permission has been granted that will allow personnel to learn to drive the apparatus. More frequent wrecks will serve to additionally lessen the time that apparatus are on the road. The Borough will buy us new apparatus as fast as we wreck them. (08) All other training will be discontinued immediately. no specific permission has been granted that permits the use of apparatus or other Borough property. Stay at home and watch "Rescue: 911" on TV. The Borough will come out and tell us what to do at each incident. (09) No specific permission has been granted to allow the use of department apparatus to purchase or transport supplies and equipment. If you need something, call the Borough and they will bring it to you immediately. (10) No specific permission has been granted that permits the use of department apparatus for travel of emergency service personnel to Borough meetings. Request by Borough officials for meetings to be attended by emergency service personnel will be ignored. If they want to talk to us, they will have to come to each station. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dean Tabor FF/EMT-III/MICP to be | Chena Goldstream Fire and Rescue FSDJT2@ALASKA.bitnet | Fairbanks, Alaska | fsdjt2@acad3.fai.alaska.edu ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 28 Fri Nov 02, 1990 G.KRANICH [Sys*Cop] at 12:42 EST Love it! Guess if we would all follow the directives/SOP's "to the letter", the authors would start giving a little thought when inventing rules for everyone else to live by. Think I'll have to use this in our Field Training Officer newsletter. Though fire, I think the lesson applies. Thanks for posting this one, Skip. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 29 Thu Nov 15, 1990 J.JOHNSON56 at 04:53 EST Hello all, just read through all the messages in this area, I see a few have had some UFO Freaks.. (grin).. But this is serious, if any of you out there have had an experience of being the first on the scene or have aided in a UFO type of situation please leave me private mail, no names will ever be shown on this matter.. Usually the Govt. will seal off the area on such an occasion, but if you have been in one of these experiences please let me know... Thanks J.Johnson56 ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 30 Thu Jan 10, 1991 M.SHIRLEY1 [Mike] at 01:17 EST From the Crook of the Month Club files: In Florida, a businesslike burglar waited only minutes after his victim left for work before breaking in and stacking up valuables, including an electricl clock, which stopped marking the time of theft. After piling up and wrapping the first load of loot, our rocket scientist spotted the Nintendo game. Four hours later, locked into a marathon game of "Skate or Die", he was still there when the victim -- armed -- arrived home for lunch. from the March '90 issue of the Informant, San Diego Police Officers Association newsletter -- Mike (San Diego, CA) ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 31 Sat Jan 12, 1991 C.HAMPTON3 [Ariel] at 19:46 EST Mike, ;> If anyone has any more "stupid crooks" tales, they're great entertainment. For that matter, I bet some of you find them morale boosters! ;> Ariel ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 32 Tue Jan 15, 1991 M.SHIRLEY1 [Mike] at 23:37 EST F E L O N Y S T U P I D ------------------------- "Felony Stupid" says it best: In San Diego Superior Court, two men recently stood trial for armed robbery. During the prosecutor's questioning of an eyewitness, the D.A. asked if the witness saw the two suspects during their flight from the scene. The witness assured he had. "And", the prosecutor asked, "Are those two men present in court today?" The defendants sealed their fate when they raised their hands. ...from the January '91 issue of the San Diego Police Officers Association's newsletter, The INFORMANT. ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 33 Wed Jan 16, 1991 M.SHIRLEY1 [Mike] at 01:43 EST BEST EXCUSE OFFERED BY A SPEEDING VIOLATOR ------------------------------------------------ Police Lt. Lee Hyland of the Marion County Sheriff's Office has won the Indiana Police League's annual prize for "Best Excuse Offered By a Speeding Violator". When Lt. Hyland stopped the speeding car, the driver explained that he was extremely allergic to bee stings, and had simply been trying to kill a bee in his car when he lost track of his speed. He even offered a dead bee to Lt. Hyland as proof. Hyland wrote the ticket anyway and the speeder took him to court. The judge thought it was perfectly plausible excuse, and challenged Lt. Hyland to explain why he wouldn't believe the driver. Because, Hyland explained, when he examined the "freshly killed" bee closely, he found the deceased insect to be very dry, with a heavy coating of dust on it's wings. ...another from the SDPOA newsletter, the INFORMANT, 1-91 ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 34 Thu Jan 17, 1991 D.MUNSON2 at 18:17 EST How could LT Hyland be sure the bee did not just have poor hygene?? ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 35 Fri Jan 18, 1991 SLIC at 02:52 EST R E A S O N A B L E D O U B T ------------------------------- Wisdom doesn't require a law degree as in the murder trial where the defense lawyer made a stunning closing argument: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some astounding news. We have found the supposed victim of this murder alive and well and in exactly one minute, he will walk through tat door into this courtroom." A hushed moment passed and nothing happened. The lawyer thought he had made his point. "The mere fact that you were watching the door expecting the victim to walk into this courtroom suggests that you have a reasonable doubt whether a murder was committed." A reasonable doubt that there was a murder wold mean acquittal for the defendant. Yet it took the jury only 10 minutes to return a guilty verdict. "How could you convict?", the lawyer asked the foreman. "You were all watching the door?" The foreman corrected the lawyer. "Most of us were watching the door. But one of us was watching the defendant and he wasn't watching the door." -- Mike (San Diego, CA) ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 36 Sat Jan 19, 1991 M.KAROL [martie] at 20:10 EST Two crooks broke into a cops home and stole his car,he awakened as they were taking off, and attempted to grab one of the crooks, only managing to get his sneaker. A few hours later, the crook arrives at the PD, putting in a claim for a stolen car. Seems someone stole, his stolen car. The topper was the desk sgt he reported it to, was the victim and the crook was still only wearing one sneaker. this is a true story, from South Florida, where else would it happen? Martie ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 37 Mon Jan 21, 1991 R.GREGORY4 at 00:30 EST Obvious to see why he became a crook and not a brain surgeon... Sure doesn't hurt the clearance rate when they're that bright!!! ------------ Category 1, Topic 5 Message 38 Mon Jan 21, 1991 S.LIBIN [Sean] at 21:53 EST We just (last month) had a 911 call where the "victim" had recently had the misfortune of having his lawnmower stolen . . . . BY ALIENS!!! doo doo doo doo Yes, it appears that this guy obviously didn't read the earlier hints of using Wrigley's gum wrappers. Love to read about the Best Excuses - maybe we should start a seperate topic and award a prize for the best submission at the end of the year. . .just a thought. SEAN


E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank