THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION tune: +quot;Old Time Religion+quot; (Chorus): Give me that real

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* THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION tune: "Old Time Religion" (Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X) It's good enough for me! We will have a mighty orgy We will sacrifice to Yuggoth in the honour of Astarte we will sacrifice to Yuggoth it'll be a mighty party Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth and it's good enough for me! and the Goat With a Thousand Young! We will all be saved by Mithras If your rising sign is Aries We will all be saved by Mithras You'll be taken by the Fairies slay the Bull and play the zithras Meet the Buddah in Benares on that Resurrection Day! where he'll hit you with a pie! I hear Valkyries a-comin There are people into Voodoo In the air their song is comin there are people into Voodoo They forgot the words! They're hummin! I know I do, I hope you do! But they're good enough for me! and it's good enough for me! We will venerate Bubastis We will read from the Kabahlah We will venerate Bubastis We will read from the Kabahlah If you want in, then just ast us! It won't get us to Valhalla 'cause that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! We will all bow down to Enlil There are some who practice Shinto We will all bow down to Enlil there are some who practice Shinto Pass your Cup and get a refill! there's no telling what WE'RE into! With bold Gilgamesh the Brave! but that's good enough for me! We will all see Aphrodite We will all sing Hare Krishna Though she's pretty wild and flighty We will all sing Hare Krishna She will meet us in her nightie It's not mentioned in the Mishna And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! It was good enough for Loki We will all go to Nirvana It was good enough for Loki We will all go to Nirvana He thinks Thor's a little hokey Make a left turn at Urbana and that's good enough for me! And you'll see the Promised Land! Here's to those who copy Conan There will be a lot of lovin Here's to those who copy Conan when we're meetin in our Coven They're just Followers of Onan Quit yer pushin and yer shovin and that's good enough for me! So there's room enough for me! We will have a mighty Party It was good enough for Sappho In the honor of Astarte With her lady on her lap-o Grab your chiton - don't be tardy She put Lesbos on the map-o 'Cause she's good enough for me! With her pagan poetry! Shall we sing a verse for Venus, Well the Christians all are humming Of the Gods she is the meanest, Cause they say their God is coming, Cause she bit me on my...elbow Our God came three times this evening And it's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me. We will worship like the Druids, Some guys have a circumcision Drinking strange fermented fluids, On account of their religion, Running naked through the woo-ids, An embarrassing incision Coz that's good enough for me. Cut just ENOUGH from me! We will sing a verse for Loki It was good for old Jehovah He's the old Norse god of Chaos He had a son who was a nova! Which is why this verse don't Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'! rhyme or scan or nothin' Another resurrection Day! But it's good enough for me... It was good for Thor and Odin It could be that you're a Parsi It was good for Thor and Odin It could be that you're a Parsi Grab an axe and get your woad on! Don't need a ticket; you get in free and it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Azahoth is in his Chaos Just like Carlos Castenada Azahoth is in his Chaos Just like Carlos Castenada Now if only he don't sway us It'll get you sooner or later That is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! If you think that you'll be sav-ed Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed If you think that you'll be sav-ed In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed If you follow Mogen David And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed Then that's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me... We will sing to Lady Isis We will all bow down to Dagon She'll stand by us in a crisis We will all bow down to Dagon And She hasn't raised Her prices He still votes for Ronald Reagan And She's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! There are those who, when they've got e- Normous problems that are knotty They just take them to Hecate Thanks to great Quetzacoatl And that's good enough for me! And his sacred axolotl And his gift of chocolatl Was a time, so I've heard tell, a And please pass some down to me! Fine and promising young fella Gave his all to serve Cybele But that's damn well not for me! Well, she raised an awful flurry When old Gerald got it goin' When she made the scholars worry When old Gerald got it goin' Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray! All that hidin' turned to showin' She is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We'll sing praises to Apollo When we all bowed down to Nuit Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow There was really nothin' to it From Ionia to Gaul-o (Alex Sanders made me do it...) And that's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me! Let us sing the praise of Horus We went off to worship Venus As our fathers did before us By the Gods! You should have seen us! We're the New Egyptian Chorus Now the Clinic has to screen us... And we sing in harmony! But that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Granny It's not good enough for Reagan She could throw a double-whammy It's not good enough for Reagan That would knock you on your fanny He's too square to be a Pagan! And she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will gather at our saunas Meeting at the Witching Hour When the spirit comes upon us By the Bud, and Branch and Flower To perform the Rites of Faunus Folks are raising up the Power And that's good enough for me! And that's where I want to be! We will worship mighty Cthulhu In the sky I hear a hummin' H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo It's the UFO's a-comin' (1930's fiction voodoo....) That's not banjos that they're strummin' But that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Oh the Phillistines abound Oh we all will follow Buddah Oh the Phillistines abound Oh we all will follow Buddah They had the biggest Baals around And we'll eat no food but Gouda And that's good enough for me! Which is Gouda-nuff for me Oh, our Spirits will awaken We'll sing praises to Apollo; Oh, our Spirits will awaken Where the Sun God leads we'll follow Watch the Universe a-quakin' ('Though his head's a little hollow) - Which is Gurdijeff to me! He's good enough for me! Let us raise a toast to Bacchus, We will worship Great Cthulhu, We will raise a royal ruckus, We will worship Great Cthulhu, Then we'll lay us down and f**k us And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu That's good enough for me. 'Cause that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Buddha, We all worshipped Dionysus As a god he's kinda cute-a, 'Till we ran into a crisis - And he comes in brass or pewta' The bar had raised its prices; So he's good enough for me! That's not good enough for me. Uncle Crowley was a dreamer We will go and sing "Hosanna" At the Abbey of Thelemer To our good ol' pal, Gautama, But his magic is a screamer, He will never flim or flam ya', So it's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me! Oh we'll all be Fundamental When the clouds they are a'rumbling And be Holy Testamental And the thunder is a'grumbling, And never Trancendental Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling, And that's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! There are some that call it folly Shall we sing a verse for Thor, When we worship Mother Kali. Though he leaves the maidens sore? She may not be very jolly They always come back for more, But she's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me! Shall we sing in praise of Loki, It was good enough for Odin Though he left poor Midgard smokey? Though the tremblin' got forbodin' Oh, his sense of humor's hokey, Then the giants finally strode in, But he's good enough for me. But it's good enough for me. Montezuma liked to start out There's that lusty old Priapus Rites by carrying a part out He's just itching to unwrap us. That would really tear your heart out, (He'd do more to us than tap us But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!) We will all bow down to Allah Where's the gong gone? I can't find it For he gave his loyal follow I think Northwoods is behind it! Ers the mighty petro-dollah For they've always been cymbal-minded And that's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me! I was singing Hari Rama We will pray with those Egyptians With my friend the Dalai Lama Build pyramids to put our crypts in 'Til they dumped us in the slammer Cover subways with inscriptions, But that's good enough for me which is good enough for me.....! One-eyed Odin we will follow We will pray to Zarathustra And in fighting we will wallow And we'll pray just like we usta Till we wind up in Valhallow I'm a Zarathustra boosta! Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Hare Krishna gets a laugh on I'll arise at early mornin' When he sees me dressed in saffron When the Sun gives me the warnin' With my hair that's only half on That the Solar Age is dawnin' But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will sing a verse for Eris Of Great Murphy much is spoken (Golden apples for the fairest!) For his Law shall not be broken Though she sometimes likes to scare us It's not pretty when he's woken But she's good enough for me! Things go wrong for you and me! We will sing for great Diana If your god of choice is Squat Who will teach of love and honor Well then trendy, man, you're not - But you really gotta wanna! But you'll get a parking spot! 'Cause she's tough enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will venerate Bubastis Call Him God, or call him Allah 'Cause my cat walked up and ast us The priest will take your dollah (Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!) Easy living from -your- follah- But it's good enough for me! -wers, but sorry, -not- from me! I'll sing some songs to Lilith, Now Danae was sweet as flowers, Not so young, and not so girlish, She was into golden showers; and She's always PMS-ish, And that showed her Zeus' power but She's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! And what about this Bacchus, Diana is a little spikey Who lives just to raise a ruckus? And she is a little dyke-ey Loosens women so they'll f*** us, You don't have to be a Psych-e Well, that's good enough for me! To know that's right for me! Lilith wears a lacy nightie That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers And She is a little flighty Fighting demons in his callers She will get you all excite-y Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS! She's wet-dream enough for me! And that's good enough for me. With the aid of my athame Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan, I can throw a "double-whammy" He's too square to be a pagan, (And can slice and dice salami!) Let's all vote for Carl Sagan! So it's good enough for me. He's good enough for me. We will worship with the Fundies L. Ron Hubbard liked precision With their itchy hair-shirt undies And he founded a religion If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy," That has caught a lot of pigeons Then it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! We will worship Holy Ford We will worship with the witches Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord 'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches But the Alphas might get bored And they scratch us where it itches A Brave New World for you and me! And that's good enough for me! There are those who follow Crowley Some folks pray to the Orishas Tho the stuff that he held holy Tho their humor can be vishas Turn your your brain to guacamole When they grant your stupid wishas But he's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! There are those who scream and hollar There are those who worship Satan And get hot under the collar And are just anticipatin' For their god, Almighty Dollar, Armageddon's conflagratin' Who is good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! There are those who worship no gods Some folks worship the Kachinas For they think that there are low odds Some folks worship the Kachinas That the god-seers aren't drunk sods They look like "deus ex machinas", But they're good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! Some folks worship all of Nature We will read from the Cabala. Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher Quote the Tree of Life mandala They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher It won't get you in Valhalla, And they're good enough for me! Yet it's good enough for me. Some folks pray to the Great Spirit There is room enough in Hades Most folks just cannot get near it For lots of criminals and shadies So they hate it and they fear it And disreputable ladies, But it's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me. To the tune of Handel's "Largo" Praise to Popacatapetl We will hymn the gods of cargo Just a tiny cigarette'll 'Til they slap on an embargo Put him in terrific fettle And that's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me. We will drive up to Valhalla We will all bow to Hephaestus Riding Beetles, not Impalas As a blacksmith he will test us Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles" 'Cause his balls are pure asbestos And that's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me. We will sing of Iluvatur, We will sing of Foul the Render, Who sent the Valar 'cross the water Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender To lead Morgoth to the slaughter In his cave in Kiril Threndor-- And that's just fine with me. They're both too much for me. We will sing the Jug of Issek, Of Lord Shardik you must beware; And of Fafhrd his chief mystic, To please him you must swear; Though to thieving Mouser will stick, 'Cause enraged he's a real Bear, And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me. You can dance and wave the thyrsos Let us celebrate Jehovah And sing lots of rowdy verses Who created us "ab ova" Till the neighbors holler curses, He'll be on tonight on Nova And that's good enough for me. 'cause he's good enough for me. We will go to worship Zeus Let us sing to old Discordia Though his morals are quite loose 'Cause it's sure she's never bored ya He gave Leda quite a goose And if she's good enough for ya And he's good enough for me. Then she's good enough for me. We will sing a song of Mithras Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu Let us sing a song of Mithras Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you But there is no rhyme for Mithras! Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you Still he's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me. We will go to worship Kali Let's all listen up to Jesus She will help us in our folly He says rich folks like old Croesus She'd be quite an armful, golly! Will be damned until Hell freezes And she's good enough for me. And that don't sound good to me. Let us watch Ka.ka.pa.ull Let us do our thing for Eris Frolic in her swimming pool Goddess of the discord there is Subjecting chaos to her rule Apple's golden, it's not ferrous And that's all right with me And that's good enough for me Of the Old Ones, none is vaster Even Cthulhu's not his master I refer to the unspeakable *-----* (well, do YOU want to say it?) and that's good enough for me Let us worship old Jehovah Let us sing for Brujaria All you other gods move ovah Though the blood's a lot less cleaner Cause the one God's takin' over It's not Christian Santaria And it's good enough for me So it's good enough for me Timmy Leary we will sing to We will worship Sun Myung Moon And the things that he was into Though we know he is a goon. (Well, at least it wasn't Shinto) All our money he'll have soon. And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me. We will pray to Father Zeus We will go down to the temple, In his temple we'll hang loose Sit on mats woven of hemp(le), Eating roast beef au jus, Try to set a good exemple [sic], And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me. We will finally pray to Jesus, We will all go to Nirvana From our sins we hope he frees us, So be sure to mind your manners Eternal life he guarantees us, Make a left turn at Savannah And that's good enough for me. And we'll see the Promised Land. There are people into voodoo There are followers of Conan. Africa has raised a hoodoo And you'll never hear 'em groaning Just one little doll will do you Followed Crom up to his throne(in) And it's good enough for me. And it's good enough for me We all worship Aphrodite, Now watch out for the Maya's, and Her sister bold Astarte, They might really try to fry ya, They both throw a pretty good party, Sacrifice people not papaya's, And that's just fine with me! Just as long as its not me! Let us praise the Holy Fool Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus' For he's breaking all the rules Tho he's lost his vital juices Holds you up to ridicule, The old boy still has his uses And that's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me! There's one thing that I do know No one wrote a verse for Buddah Zeus' favorite is Juno Tho I think they really coulda She's the best at doing..you know! And I really think they shoulda And that's good enough for me! 'Cause he's good enough for me! Tho J.C.'s into fish, too, Anytime that I start hearin' He's an avatar of Vishnu "Jesus loves you" I start leerin' So he is welcome here, too, Maybe so, but not like Brian And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! All the Gods tore into Loki If you're really into dancing Saying Deicide is hokey! And you wanna try some trancing And they threw him in the pokey! Then the Voodoo gods are prancing And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! If you wanna worship Odin Good old Thor's the god of thunder You don't have to have a coat on Really helps us get our plunder Grab a sword and slap some woad on Tho his head's still truly dunder And that's good enough for me! He is good enough for me! I don't really go for Shinto And for those who follow Cthulhu It's just something I'm not into We have really got a lulu: Tho I guess I could begin to Drop a bomb on Honolulu! 'Cause it's good enough for me! 'Cause that's good enough for you! Well it's good enough for H***** Let's all drink to Dionysus He's a mighty kinky master Wine and women beyond prices! When you pray he goes much faster He made a Maenad out of my Sis! And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Let us dance with Dionysus The late return of the Prophet Zarquon And get drunk on wine and spices Caused his followers to hearken The Christians call them "vices" As the Universe went dark on But they're good enough for me! All of you and me! Let us note the might of Ils We'll invoke the blessed Camber With a thousand or more quills And the Unicorn of Amber By the light that from him spills And the wizard Deliamber He is good enough for me! They're good enough for me! When we worship Bacchus We will venerate old Bacchus The ethanol will sock us Drinking beer and eating tacos We'll all get good and raucous Til you've tried it please don't knock us And that's good enough for me! 'Cause it's good enough for me! When you worship Rusto Warriors for Allah Treat your friends with lust-o Are sure to have a gala Pursue youyr faith with gusto! Time in old Valhalla And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! They revered ancient ENIAC In the halls of Frey and Freyja And sacrificed to UNIVAC All the priestesses will lay ya Now we sing our chants on VAX pack If you're good enough, they'll pay ya! And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good enough for Cupid Let us worship sweet Eninni It was good enough for Cupid Let us worship sweet Eninni His wings look kind of stupid In a skimpy string bikini But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome Well Dimuzi's on vacation But he's not at home too often He'll be back when spring awakens Spends all his time in Annwyfn There will be such recreaction And that's good enough for me! There will be enough for me! In his dancing Pan will lead them Pan's pipes got plugged last summer When his pipes call we will heed them And it really was a bummer In truth tho, he don't need them Finally had to call a plumber! He's more than enough for me! But he's good enough for me! We will venerate old Hermes We will worship now with vigor With his staff entwined with wormies The goddess known as Frigga Warding off the nasty germies Tho there are some who don't dig her And that's good enough for me! She is good enough for me! I pray to Ahura-Mazda Let us all now worship Ra He's one god who sure won't pause ta And take care of our Ka Pound some heads when given cause ta We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!" Which is good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! We will all do praise to Horus Here's an invitation for us In an old Egyptian chorus All to go and worship Horus If there's something in it for us Doff your clothes and join the chorus Then it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! As the goddess Kali dances Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus With her worshippers in trances From herself the Earth did birth us You can learn some Hindu stances And I wonder: are we worth us? And that's good enough for me! But she's good enough for me! It was good enough for Venus We will sing our staves to Venus She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us We will sing our staves to Venus Letting morals come between us Tho I think this rhyme is henious And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Let us call an Elemental We will all bow down to Gozer For a temporary rental Priestess did it with that Joser Just as long as it is gentle Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir! It is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will worship with Poseidon In matters Dianetic We will meet him when the tide's in You need not get frenetic All the maidens he will ride in Make your Engrams copacetic Then he'll give 'em all to me! And that's good enough for me! All the hunters start convergin' And to help things get real racous When Diana is emergin' The priests of Pan and Bacchus It's too bad she's still a virgin Will hold a f***ing contest! But there's still hope left for me! And that's all right with me! We will got to worship Lillith If you get too tired Grab your cup, step up and fill it And you need to get up higher Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it! Just have Pele light your fire! And that's good eonough for me! From her island in the sea! Quetzacoatl's flyin' Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine With the Toltec and the Mayan The Etruscan god of wine And the mushrooms he's been buyin' This verse doesn't really rhyme Are good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! We will worship Christian Jesus You can keep your saints with halos, And do just like John Paul pleases Your hosannas or dayenus: That we will... when Hades freezes! Let's throw virgins in volcanos! And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Let's go worship Great Cthulhu, In Japan they thought it neato And run naked like a Zulu, When they worshipped Hirohito You and me and Mr. Sulu, But that didn't sit with SEATO And that's good enough for me! So it never more will be! I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda, We will all bow down to Venus And I'll praise the man who tries ta, As we dance upon Mt Zenos Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta, We will worship with our....voice And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Oh, the dollar is our Saviour And when old Quetzacoatl If we spend Her or we save Her Found a virgin he could throttle She controls all our behaviour And put her heart into a bottle There's not enough for me! It was good enough for me! There are those who worship science I'll go get my golden sickle And some would send 'em to the Lions And I'll wear it where it tickles But without 'em we'd have no appliance It ain't used for cuttin' pickles! So they're good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! In the church of Aphrodite John, Paul, George and Ringo The Priestess wears a see through nightie We will worship playing Bingo She's a mighty righteous sightie, We will listen to them sing-o And she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Whether Low Church or it's High Church I have got a strange religion Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church I will worship Walter Pidgeon Come on down and visit my Church Is he sacred? Just a smidgen! Cause it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Brother Jerry is a cretin Brother Oral's in his tower, But with all the cash he's gettin' Trusting in the Lord's power Lotsa folks'll be forgettin Getting richer by the hour, It's the "Land of the Free!" Now he's got the ransom fee! Brother Robert's church is Crystal Brother Earnest is a healer But all the Bible that he's missed'll And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer -- Make you "hotter than a pistol" More a jumper and a squealer But he's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me! Brother Jim and Sister Tammy Then there's good ol' Brother Billy Had a show that was a whammy Bringing souls in willy-nilly. But now they are in Miami All his trips are kinda silly, Tryin' t'get back on TV! But he's good enough for me! Let us read works of Confucius We will worship Xipe-Totec As we walk thru Massachusetts Tho it is a little lo-tek * In white robes that freeze our tushes It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic) But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! * "low-tech(nology) We will worship Xochipilli And the Romans said of Jesus Though it might be a bit silly "Lets kill him, he don't please us" Running naked makes me chilly "But the Atheists will tease us" But it's good enough for me! And thats good enough for me You could join Jehovah's Witness Running door to door for fitness Well if you've been blessed with quickness, Then thats good enough for me We used to study old Confucius And let's not forget Pelagius As we sat there on our tushes Though some call him outrageous We're learning but don't push us He is pious and courageous And thats good enough for me And he's good enough for me! It's the opera written for us We will all join in the chorus It's the opera about Boris Which is Godunov for me! 210 verses * last update: 08/29/91 More verses are always welcome to this collection. Send them to: Joe Bethancourt FIDO Net: 1:114/29 (602) 439-8070 PO Box 35190 Internet: Joe.Bethancourt@f29.n114.z1.fidonet.org Phoenix AZ 85069 *

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