Msg # 454
Date: 19 Jul 91 22:35:00
From: Jim Mooney
Subj: bible - last page
I have received a number of queries about my mention that the last page
of the Bible - which states that it was all a joke - is routinely torn out
at the bible factory. Here is a copy of the full text, which I happen to
possess, having done some janitorial work at a local bible complex.
TO: Whom it May Concern
The preceding was, of course, all a joke. No sane or rational person
is expected to live by the incoherent principles embodied herein. Do not
try them at home (or anywhere else, for that matter). They are expressly
for the use of professional Masochists and Fools.
The only advice I can give is -- Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, For
Tomorrow You Shall Die.
Oh, and stop whining. I have no control over these things. This
silly Omnipotence business was started by Priests seeking to empty Your
pockets by promising My favors.
You don't think I Planned on reality being this screwed up, did you?
Things just got out of hand.
I mean, Dogs weren't supposed to shit in the house; everyone was
supposed to get laid at least twice a week after Puberty; and I Never,
Ever planned on Republicans.
Well, I've got to go now. Be back in about four billion years.
Try to straighten thing out by then, will you?
We'll have a good sit-down and you can tell me all about it.
I'll bring the Beer.
иииии GOD иииии
The One and Only
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