Date: 29 Jul 94 06:15:34 To: Michael Elliot Subj: +quot;Fundy+quot; defined _ J.J. Hitt, c
Date: 29 Jul 94 06:15:34
From: Marty Leipzig
To: Michael Elliot
Subj: "Fundy" defined
J.J. Hitt, crazy about school: a real academia nut, said to Michael Elliott:
ME> Just so I know what it is when I get called it, what the
ME> heck is a "fundy", or rather, why is it called a "fundy"?
ME> I'm new here, so call me ignorant. (like you won't anyway )
JH> Hopefully Marty L. will get back to you on this one.
JH> He's defined the critter much better than I'd care to attempt to.
Herr Hitt requests; and I supply:
Fundie (fun'dee) n. & adj. (var. Fundy; pls. fundies, fundys),
A member of an American conservative religious movement that
believes in biblical inerrancy. This movement had its roots in
the nineteenth-century orthodox reaction to the higher
(historico-literary) criticism of the Bible that originated
among European theologians and was accepted by American
"modernists". Fundamentalism owes its name to the "Five
Fundamentals", a list of five beliefs that the Presbyterian
General Assembly drew up in 1910 as being essential to the
Christian faith. Among those fundamentals was the doctrine of
Fundies (Homo nesciens idiotus) come in two varities; (about
more later) but are united by the belief that each and every word
("jot and tittle") of the Holy Writ is true. When they find a text
convenient to an argument, it is quotable as the ultimate
truth. But when confronted with an apparent contradiction, they
sail away upon the wings of a symbol, an analogy of hidden or
Although two separate and distinct varities of fundy exist
(H.n.i. var. ruralensis and H.n.i var. urbanensis), they can be
typically identified by their possession of a heavily thumped
(but rarely read) Bible; an almost cataleptic adherance to
dated dogma and the annoying ability of being able to interject
their own version of ethics and morality into almost any
catagory of subject. As a group, they are exasperatingly
H.n.i. var. ruralensis can be typified as a backwoods rustic
living among the 'possums, 'coons, 'dillos and magnolias who is
functionally illiterate. Though some may become transplanted to
more urban settings; they stubbornly adhere to the old habits:
barefootedness and brainless blathering.
A macroevolutionary jump (though some would say regression) is
responsible for the other variety: H.n.i. var. urbanensis.
They arose from their humbler cousins in the deep backwoods but
have evolved to the trophism of bright lights, television
cameras and teleprompters. Basically, this group is a country
bumpkin of the wacko-right turned religious zealot and usually
named Billy, Jimmy or some other familiar sobriquet. They
drape a mantle of Christian piety around their shoulders, and
stomping off on a witch hunt; ferret out fellow travelers,
secular humanists and other assorted bogeymen. With a primitive
view of this world and a psychodelic view of the next, they
harangue lost sinners (and those with the ability to think for
themselves) in an impassioned and declamatory style to REPENT!
and be born again. Ranting and raving; and spouting smoke,
fury, fire, brimstone and stained glass blather; they pace
whatever stage they can usurp like a whirling dervish run
amuck. The venue may change, but the song remains the same.
Usually, such narrowly unspecialized organisms represent an
evolutionary dead end. In these cases, it is more of a U-turn.
Hope that clears it up a bit for you.
... Fundamentalism: Tents aren't the only thing in common with circus'.
* Origin: A Little Corner in Time BBS (1:106/113.0)
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