The story of how Man Came to Be, by Michael Charles Smith
One day God created Marajuana. Later that week he decided to try it.
God: (Puff..) Hehehehehehehehe! I love this stuff! Hey, Gabe, why doncha
try this stuff?
The Archangel Gabriel: I'm sorry, boss, but my contract specifically
states that I have to be alert for the full legnth of the Creation and
the Existance of the Universe; that clause forbids me from injesting any
God: Yeah, I know, I know. Wow, you guys are such stiffs! Why's I hire
you angels anyway? I mean, why can't you be more like that guy Lucifer?
He's my favorite ya know...
Gabriel: I'm sorry boss, but you wanted...
God: I know, damnit! I know everything, remember? (Puff..) Aw wow, this
is great! I wish I had invented this on Day One...I probably woulda spent the
last six days smokin' this, tho... (Puff..) Hey, Gabe, lookit this animal
I'm working on. Isn't this f***** up?
Gabriel: Weird...what is it, boss?
God: Hehehehehe...that's the best part! I just took a duck and a beaver and
put the two together! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Isn't that great? Lookit that!
Gabriel: I see....
God: Hehehe...oh, wait...this is the best part! Guess what I'm gonna call it?
God: "Platypus!" Isn't that great? Hehehehe! IT gets better! This thing is
a mammal, right? But it lays eggs! Hehehehe...
Gabriel: Boss, you may want to consider taking a break from work while
God: (Puff..) Nonsense! I'm most creative when I do this! Here, lookit what
I'm making now...
Gabriel: Ugh, what's that?
God: Look, I took an ape, right, and I *took all the hair off*! Hehehe, this
is great! I call it a Human. I'm going to give it something the other apes
don't have tho...half a wit! Oh, I can hardly wait to unleash this baby on the
Gabriel: I see...hehehe...
God: Oh, that's not all... here, lookit the male!
Gabriel: That *is* quite amusing, boss!
God: Yeah, I know...lookit that thing! Hehehe... okay, I'll put them in
that Garden and see what happens...
===============================THE NEXT DAY==============================
God: Urrrgh...Gabe...make a note *not* to consume Marajuana while working
on planets, okay?
Gabriel: Yes, God.
God: I have a headache and I feel dry...oohhh... okay, let's see what
Earth is doing. Hey, what the... Gabe?
God: Since when is the air tinted gray on the Terra Project?
Gabriel: For about the last 200 Solar Revolutions, boss.
God: Ouch. Hey, what are those funny little things down there?
Gabriel: "Humans," boss.
God: Hu..hu...humons? What the f*** is a Humon?
Gabriel: An ape with no hair and half a brain, boss.
God: I didn't authorize that, did I?
Gabriel: You made it yourself, boss, while smoking that Marajuana substance.
God: Oh no...Gabriel, make it official: no project is authorized while I'm
injesting marajuana. OK?
God: Ewwww...well maybe I can salvage it...Hey, Gabe, what is *that*?
Gabriel: A Platypus, sir.
God: A WHAT???
Gabriel: A PLatypus. A mammal that leys eggs.
God looks at the Earth for about five minutes before he decides...
God: F*** it. Let's start on Mars, ok?