WORLD RELIGIONS, PHILOSOPHY AND OTHER THINGS THE COMPLETE AND UNCENSORED SHIT LIST ##### #

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WORLD RELIGIONS, PHILOSOPHY AND OTHER THINGS THE COMPLETE AND UNCENSORED SHIT LIST ##### ### ## # ####### ### # ##### ####### ### ### ## ## ####### ### ## ### ### ### ### ## ### ### ### ### ### ### #### ###### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### ## ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ## ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ## ### ### ##### ### ##### ### ============================================================================ Agnosticism What is this shit? Altruism Want some shit? Amish Shit dost occur. Anal Retentives Keep your shit to yourself. Apathism I don't give a shit. Atheism I don't believe this shit. Ba'Hai All shit is truly shit. Baptist Fundamentalism Shit happens because the Bible says so. Breathairians We don't have to eat that shit. Buddhism Shit happens. Bushism What shit? Caninism Shit happens in the neighbor's yard. Capitalism Do you buy this shit? Capitalism How much will this shit cost? Capitalism Shit happens, and it'll cost you! Carmensandiegism Where in the world is that shit happening? Cartesianism I shit, therefore I am. Catholicism If shit happens, you deserved it. Classical Marxism The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna dish it back out again. Communism Everybody gets shit. Communism It's everybody's shit. Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit happens." Constipation My shit just won't happen. Creation Science We have proof that God created all the shit that happens. Contract Theory If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to shit. Dadism Your mom knows her shit. Darwinism We came up from shit. Deja Vu I think this shit happened before, but I'm not sure. Descartes I shit therefore I am. Dianetics Even shit can make money. Dianetics Shit your way to a better life. Dominicans Belive in shit, or we'll boil you in it. Dyslexianism Hits shapnep. Discordianism This MIGHT be shit, but is instead a fuzzy 1973 Mustang. Egoism I AM the shit! Egoism My shit is the only shit that matters. Empiricism Shit only happens if I see it happen. Energizer Rabbit Shit happens... and happens... and happens... Euphemism Caca happens. Evolution Shit happens gradually. Evolution Shit is getting better all the time! Existentialism Shit doesn't happen; shit just is. Existentialism, General Your shit is what you make of it. Existentialism, Sartre We are defined by our shit happening. Felinism Shit happens... bury it. Finagle's Third Law The happening of shit tends to a maximum. Freudianism Shit happens as a result of repressed sexual urges. Frisbeetarianism Shit happens under cars, just out of reach. GURPSism Our shit can happen in any conceivable place or time. Guruism The master's shit does not stink. Hedonism Fuck that shit; let's party! Hedonism This shit is fun! Hinduism This shit happened before. Heisenbergism Shit happened, we just don't know where. Hitchhikerism The answer to all this shit is 42. Idealism That shit's all in your mind. Illuminism We make shit happen. Islam If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam, Sunni Why do Shiites always happen to us? Judaism Why does shit always happen to US? Jehovah's Witnesses No shit happens until Armageddon. Judaism, Reformed Got any Kaopectate? Jungianism Archetypical All shit that happens is an aspect of the shit generated consentually by the mass subconscious. Kierkegaard This shit is highly improbable; therefore, we should believe it happens. Thomas Kuhn Shit always happens exactly the way you expect it to. Libertarianism Hands off my shit. Logical Positivism Shit = S+H+I+T Marines It's not just shit, it's an adventure. McCarthyism Are you now, or have you ever been, shit? Mennonite None of this modern shit now. Momism You'll eat this shit and like it! Mormonism Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit. Murphism Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place. Narcissism My shit don't stink. Newton's First Law Shit that is happening tends to keep happening. Newton's Second Law You have to push to make shit happen. Newton's Third Law Every shit that happens has an equal and opposite shit happening. Nietzsche If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not shit. Nihilism Everything is shit. Nimbyism Your shit's not gonna happen here. Nixonism Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it. Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south. Oat Branism Your shit will keep happening. Optimism That shit won't happen to me. Paganism Shit happens. Accept it. Panglossism This is the best of all possible shits. Perotism We're in deep shit. Pessimism That shit is going to happen. Platonism There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image. Protestantism Let shit happen to someone else. Quaker Quayleism Shite happense. Rastafarian Shit happens, but if it's all right with Jah, it's all right with me. Robinism Holy shit, Batman! Rousseau Only natural shit is worth shit. Rastafarianism "Let's smoke this shit." Scooperism If your shit happens here, you gotta pick it up. Shinto Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect. Skinnerism If eat then shit. Solipsism All this shit is a creation of my imagination. Solipsism The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens. Spockism The shit of the many outweighs the shit of the few... or the one. Spockism, Reformed The shit of the one outweighs the shit of the many. Dr. Spockism Encourage your child to make shit happen. Spoonerism Hit shappens. Stalinism The state treats you like shit. Subgenius Shit happens -- SO WHAT? GIVE ME SOME SLACK! Surrealism Shit is shiny and shaped like a Buick. Scientific Creationism Shit happens all at once. Secular Humanism Shit happens, but there's a rational explanation. Taoism The shit that happens is not the true shit. The Force Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the shit. Thermodynamics: First Law The shit that happens cannot be created or destroyed. Second Law When shit happens, it happens from a place of more shit to a place of less shit. Third Law Disorder is the inevitable result of shit happening. Trekkism, TOS To boldly shit where no shit has happened before. Trekkism, TNG This shit happens every week. Trekkism, TMP This shit is happening again. Trekkism, DS9 Shit happens on the other side of the wormhole. Totalitarianism Shit doesn't happen unless we say so. TV Evangelism You need our shit, but it'll cost you. Unitarianism There's only one shit, but you can have it happen any way you want. Ursism Shit happens in the woods. Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number. Vacuum That shit sucks. Vandalism I'm gonna wreck this shit! Voodooism Shit doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you Voyeurism Look at that shit happening. Waldoism Where *is* that little shit? Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for shit to happen. Yuppieism It's my shit! All mine! Zen What is the sound of shit happening? PU!

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