the walkways. A fountain cheerfully splashes water into a large basin which causes a wonde

---
Master Index Current Directory Index Go to SkepticTank Go to Human Rights activist Keith Henson Go to Scientology cult

Skeptic Tank!

< Scene: The Heavenly Gardens, many flowering shrubs and plants adorn the walkways. A fountain cheerfully splashes water into a large basin which causes a wonderful melody of sound. Alongside the fountain on a marble bench a young girl sits next to a young man holding hands and giggling. Appearing through a vine arbor archway comes GOD surrounded by a nimbus of light, Peter, and another man stride into view. They approach the young girl and man as a cherub floats lazily on a cloud over the fountain.> Woman/Man - "Good Morning LORD!" GOD - "Good morning souls, you're looking especially radiant today! What's the occasion?" - The man motions GOD over to the fountain, pointing toward the water. The girl looks over his shoulder and giggles again.- GOD - "Oh! Oh my! Well, that's certainly good news!" Peter - "Good news?" GOD - "Yes Peter, look." Peter - blushing - "Uh, uh, LORD, they're uh, un, uh...." GOD - "Yes, isn't it beautiful! Who's are they?" Girl - "Mine LORD!" GOD - "That's super, just super! You should be very proud of them." - The third man looks into the water - Rev. Smith - "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THEY'RE FORNICATING IN THE PRESENCE OF OF THE ALLMIGHTY!" GOD - "Yes, they are. Quite energeticly too I might add." Cherub - "Will I be able to do that someday?" Smith - "OH MY GOD! THEY'RE ENGAGING IN PERVERSE SEXUAL PRACTICES!" GOD - to Cherub - "Not for a few years more I think." Cherub - "Is it as fun as playing catch?" GOD - "Ten times more, although My experience in these matters has been limited to mostly observation." Peter - "I should hope so, LORD!" GOD - "Well, there was one emaculate conception, but one can hardly base a lifetime of sexual experience off of it, now can one?" Peter - "MY LORD!" GOD - "What's the matter Peter? Peter - "My LORD, to speak of the virgin birth....." GOD - "I seem to remember it as such. You seem shocked Peter!" Peter - "It was an emaculate conception, born of the love YOU have with man. Not some tawdry street liaison with a common whore!" GOD - "It was Peter. But it was still sex. Who do you suppose taught Adam and Eve? Masters and Johnson?" Peter - "Still LORD, it was a perfectly conceived birth, from the purity of the soul as a gift to man." GOD - "True, but one could postulate that it was still sex." Smith - running and prostrating himself at GOD's feet - "LORD, cleanse these eyes of the perversions that they have withheld and let me forever dwell in YOUR grace and glory sayamen!" GOD - "Reverend, is something wrong?" Smith - "Even though I do not deserve to reach the heavenly pinnacle of perfection, save me from the unclean thoughts which Satan has now ensnared me in!" GOD - "Satan? Here? He'll be the devil of Me yet!" - GOD smiles - Smith - "MY LORD, these orbs have beheld the sins of mankind! Cleanse me from my perifiditations against YOUR holy word, sayamen!" GOD - "Amen. Reverend, you seem to be unduly concerned about these people engaging in a healthy form of communication, not to mention exercise. What, in MY name, do you think I created it for?" Cherub - "To replace catch?" GOD - "No, I think you're on the wrong track here." Woman - "Wasn't it a gift to provide for the renewal of the covenant of life? It marks the return of man to the time before the Fall when the Garden was all that their was? GOD - "Well Reverend?" Smith - "It was to curse mankind....." Man - "Curse mankind? Why?" Cherub - "Because he spent too much time playing catch!" Woman - "Catch?" Cherub - "That's why sex was invented!" Smith - glowering at the Cherub - " It was not! it was because man tasted the forbidden fruit and gained knowledge which forever altered the blessed realm of the Garden of Eden. And GOD came down and said....." Man - "But if all things were created by GOD, by a loving GOD, how could sex be a curse? A curse of what? Pleasure?" Smith - "It was a curse! A curse by which to mark man forevermore as a sinful disobedient child in the eyes of GOD, sayamem!" Woman - "It *is* one of the most beatiful things I've ever seen! Look at my future parents, they don't seem to be sharing a horrible condition, do they?" Smith - "Advert your eyes child, lest they be blinded to the machinations of Satan and his works. They are paying the price of their collective sins and those who covet what they have and conspire to emulate them shall also be burned in the fires of Hell itself! For only through prayer and slavish devotion can we attempt to rise above the earthly concerns of this world, concerns like sex, drugs, rock&roll sayamen!" Woman - turning toward GOD - "Is it true what he says? About something which YOU'VE created?" Peter - "Soul, you overstep your bounds....." GOD - waving HIS hand to silence Peter - "No Peter, she is right, she has a fair question, I will give a fair answer. Truth is subjective to the interpertation desired. One must weight the factors presented using the information and experiences gathered to determine whether the absolute truth exists. Only then can one begin set aside the doubts that conflicting data provides so that eventually one can realize truth from falshood, fact from opinion. To determine whether or not sex is a sin rests not on the opinions of those who ignore their observations, but those who compare those observations against one another tempered by their intellectual insight." Smith - smugly smilling - "You see soul? Even GOD himself admits it!" GOD - turning away - "Indeed. Peter? Let us continue along the path. This Cherub and I desire to play catch." Peter - "Catch LORD?" Cherub - "The thing sex replaced!" - GOD, the Cherub and Peter walk away through the arbors as Smith and the two souls continue the debate - Peter - "Do you think that the Reverend will win?" GOD - "Really Peter, do you think I'd kiss and tell?" Peter - "LORD, sometimes you amaze me!" GOD - "Peter, sometimes I amaze MYSELF. Now go and fetch some gloves. I figure we've only got an eon or two to play......" FINIS

---

E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank