* Forwarded by Sal Hardin (1:396/11.4) * Area : POLITICS (POLITICS) * From : Matt Giwer, 1
* Forwarded by Sal Hardin (1:396/11.4)
* Area : POLITICS (POLITICS)
* From : Matt Giwer, 1:3603/326 (Monday June 14 1993 14:36)
* To : All
* Subj : A draft release
1 January 2000
From: Supreme Deity, Department of Race Development
To: Human Race
Subj: Change of Command
This is to inform you, effective this date, I am assuming command
from Yahweh God.
It has come to the attention of the Universe Department of the
United Dieties of Space and Time by means of persistant performance
complaints that Yahweh God is more concerned with his career than with
It is noted his concentration on and his purient interest in such
trivial matters as human sexual behavior and general interpersonal
nastiness which humans are more than capable of dealing with
themselves rather than such larger issues of curing disease,
eliminating war and the like. It is noted his constant negative
"don't"s rather than positive "do"s have caused serious problems for
the progress of the human race.
It is further noted Jahweh God was very long on promises but
regularly failed to deliver being more occupied by personal matters.
Specifically he invited prayers and then failed to respond to them.
He would promise great rewards and comfort to those who followed him
and would neglect in which they suffered and often died. He would
blame their lack of faith and smirkingly say he was "testing" them.
(For your forebearance with this in particular we are truly grateful.)
Also Yahweh God was noted his sparsity of description of the
ultimate rewards (holding being in his presence was sufficient
description, a personality trait that should have alerted us millenia
ago) while at the same time developing in minute detail the
punishments for the most trivial infractions of his arbitrary and
caprious rule making.
Within the next millenium a full time god will be appointed to
the human race. He will announce himself in such manner as he sees
fit at the time. He will specifically not hide the fact in any
manner, he will not play coy, he will not play any "guess who I really
am" techniques. The essence of a true god is knowledge, not faith.
In the interim and working with my staff I have developed a
schedule of revelations that will attempt to make up for the damage
the human race has incurred.
The Ten Commandments and all regulatory additions are hereby
rescinded. The human race can handle anything they address without my
Within 30 days everyone will be receiving a formal contract of
belief and acceptance providing specifics which are binding upon both
sides and giving the procedure for arbitratation of differences. A
simple summary brochure will be included. This will be a freely
entered into contract and rejection of same will entail no penalties.
However, if you would like an individual negotiation or clarification
a prayer will be provided.
You will have 90 minutes of free prayer before you sign in order
to determine if you like the terms of this contract. I personally
assure you, all prayers will be listened to and if rejected a detailed
reason for rejection will be provided in return.
Within 60 days of receipt of the signed contract a set of
guidelines will be provided which, if followed, will lead to the
advancement of the arts and sciences, the elimination of the recurrent
ills of the human race and the propagation of unversal brotherhood and
As I expect it will take no more than 200 years for the
implementation of those to result in complete success and make up for
the failings of Yahweh God, get you up to speed so to speak, the next
set of guidelines will get down to the really important things.
Your cooperation will be appreciated. We at the Department of
Race Develop hope you will not judge all gods by Yahweh God. We
regret any inconvenience his assignment to the human race may have
Remember out motto, Gods are on your side.
PS This memo is on platinum. Please do not loose this like you did
the stone one.
PPS I back date my copyright interests in this to Matt Giwer in the
year 1993 as he will become my good and faithful partner real soon
E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank